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  #101  
Old 12.05.2012, 21:10
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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haha, it's such easy to argument by hyperbol and say that I haven't seen or analyzed every swiss in the whole of switzerland, of course i'v not done that.

What I have had experienced on the other hand is "been here" for 18 years in different towns and with friends from the german and french part of switzerland.

And I can tell you, this place sucks to grow up (the place has potential, but the locals people arg).
I'm not saying in other places it may be better but I'm not a fan of the people here (as you may rapidly conclude).

Confort zone, is just getting out of your confort zone hahah, what I mean by that: boys rarely go to parties when not invited or when they don't know the people, people don't answer the telephone if they don't know the number, very few organzes events, they rarely stand up against authority (and find wierd if you do it), wouldn't do any kareoke in public, ...

It's just more of an question of attitude more than anything else.

and oh yeah, they exclude you very easily (if you stop being consistent and start hanging around with other people, they will stop contacting you)

"and yes there are exceptions..."

I just found that I spent a lot of time and energy to "adapt" to some swiss people and wrongly believed that you could get a happy social life without "playing by their rules" and since they were "hard to break" that at least if you manage to do that I would get solid friendships but no.

Really theses people were are pretty much boring and apparently convinced that this is a fine lifestyle.
This is my experience...I don't know how you keep getting the bum luck of the draw, but I think I know all the outgoing Swiss people of Switzerland. And some how I keep meeting them every time I go out.

When I first got here I was a bit in my own bubble. Only meeting people from my spouse's work, and coming straight home when I was done with mine. It's not until I started to make an effort, and being the first one to say hello, rather then waiting or complaining about it first on the forum, checking out what was going on, and so on...
Maybe I was just lucky, but I have a great time almost where ever I go here(barring run ins with skinheads in train stations). Sorry I have only been here 4 years as opposed to your 18, and have had more fun then you.

I am sure it's nothing to do with you.
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  #102  
Old 12.05.2012, 21:57
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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Swiss people are interested in "who you are" not "who you appear to be." The quick, clickish, so-called friendships that Americans, and perhaps others, are used to does not work in Switzerland, which is a good thing. The Swiss do not take "friendship" lightly. Just because someone smiles at you, calls you on the phone, and you spend some time together does not mean they are your "friend." A friend is a much deeper relationship than a casual acquaintance which many people get confused. If anything the Swiss are not "superficial." They just want to be sure "you are who you say you are." If a Swiss person says "OK I will give you a call we must meet one day," they mean it. They are not saying it to try and "impress you."
like I said, most of the stereotypes come from the Swiss themselves. though, of course, your post has the added bonus of highlighting that Swiss friendships are superior to American friendships.
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  #103  
Old 12.05.2012, 22:11
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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I have a theory that the Swiss are (relatively-speaking) an unfriendly culture because they are all so busy working and/or grocery-shopping that they simply don't have time for new friends. It seems that life here is so incredibly routine because everyone is forced to do everything at very specific times. (e.g. One cannot shop after work because stores close early, and one cannot shop on Sunday because stores are closed. Hence, one must shop on Saturday when EVERYONE else in CH is shopping. Hence, ridiculously crowded stores. Hence, a bad mood).
I think that we'd see a lot more smiles here if the people were more free and not forced to do everything at specific times.
The best word I have ever found to describe Swiss culture is RIGID.
Clearly you haven't tried to make friends with them or bothered to check the shopping times.

I find the Swiss particularly friendly and have a number of swiss friends who are loyal and easy to get along with. Concerning shopping times the majority of larger towns have many shops open to 20:00 hours each day Monday - Friday and then Saturday until 18:00. Yes this is not 24 hours and they are not open on a Sunday which I find is a good thing as it saves developing a consumer based economy like the US where people go to the shops primarily because they can and not because they need to.

I find plenty of smiles here you only have to smile at them instead of groaning about them.
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  #104  
Old 12.05.2012, 22:18
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

This just in...I was at Coop, in my town is open until 8pm on a Saturday, and from 7pm until 8pm, when I was there, no one else was except a handful of foreigners...You people need to stick to the schedule!!!! Imagine the chaos.
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  #105  
Old 12.05.2012, 23:06
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

I have been here a year now, and we have made very good friends with our Swiss neighbors below us and next door. Our next door neighbors have a daughter our daughters age. It took a bit of time, but now our houses seem more connected as the two girls go back and forth. We have gone to our neighbor's below us for dinner and it was great. The Swiss in my village have always been nice and I have not had a single negative interaction. I actually find my life here more friendly. Most people that I pass when I go running in the evenings will greet me with a "abig" or a "gruezi" which is more than I would have gotten in the US. I guess everyone's experience is different. Mine has been very positive.
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  #106  
Old 13.05.2012, 01:56
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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You raise a good point, but I think it's based on social expectations of relationships. As the Swiss believe in self sufficiency a good friend might be someone they can depend upon to meet regularly at the cost of spontaneity.

It seems once you are regarded as reliable, options appear. However if you're more of a social butterfly......
not sure if that's true, maybe for the older folks it's true.
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  #107  
Old 13.05.2012, 01:59
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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This is my experience...I don't know how you keep getting the bum luck of the draw, but I think I know all the outgoing Swiss people of Switzerland. And some how I keep meeting them every time I go out.

When I first got here I was a bit in my own bubble. Only meeting people from my spouse's work, and coming straight home when I was done with mine. It's not until I started to make an effort, and being the first one to say hello, rather then waiting or complaining about it first on the forum, checking out what was going on, and so on...
Maybe I was just lucky, but I have a great time almost where ever I go here(barring run ins with skinheads in train stations). Sorry I have only been here 4 years as opposed to your 18, and have had more fun then you.

I am sure it's nothing to do with you.
yeah maybe i wasn't lucky who knows there are so many "bubbles", life just hasn't yet showed me anyone making me think otherwise
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  #108  
Old 13.05.2012, 02:00
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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Swiss people are interested in "who you are" not "who you appear to be." The quick, clickish, so-called friendships that Americans, and perhaps others, are used to does not work in Switzerland, which is a good thing. The Swiss do not take "friendship" lightly. Just because someone smiles at you, calls you on the phone, and you spend some time together does not mean they are your "friend." A friend is a much deeper relationship than a casual acquaintance which many people get confused. If anything the Swiss are not "superficial." They just want to be sure "you are who you say you are." If a Swiss person says "OK I will give you a call we must meet one day," they mean it. They are not saying it to try and "impress you."
that is what the swiss say, but it's just the closed minded person being hard to break open in my opinion
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  #109  
Old 13.05.2012, 02:17
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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one of the things that is interesting to me is that the "wisdom" that the Swiss are standoffish and difficult to get to know but the world's greatest friends once you "break through" is standard fare for most cultural training expats receive before they move here. and, of course, that cultural training is by and large provided by folks who are native to Switzerland.
who care's how i come across i'm on an internet forum, i'm not arrogant i'm just ranting out.

truth being said, many people might think they are special and interesting but if you don't have an interesting personality or any real interest in life you are a boring person.

there are a lot of people like that here (and a guess elsewhere)

the swiss just have that uniqueness to have slightly more arrogant and closed-minded in their opinions from most foreign people i'm acquainted to.

Last edited by twiiistCH; 13.05.2012 at 02:58.
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  #110  
Old 13.05.2012, 03:04
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

Friendship goes - like in every other place of this world - far beyond hanging around or having a beer with a mate. Friendship has nothing to do with any balance sheet or "do ut des"-mentality or the antique idea of having similar ideas or wanting the same thing/sharing similar aims.

Friendship comes from the heart and does not ask for "What have you done for me?".

So if somebody complains about too many inputs in vain, means to me that he didn't perhaps understand what friendship is about, and that of course for finding the right persons one has to invest energy and ressources, which only sometimes are successful. But what comes out of it pays for all the efforts,

and nationality does not play quite any role in this "game".
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  #111  
Old 13.05.2012, 03:24
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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not sure if that's true, maybe for the older folks it's true.
Ah Truth...another opinion based anecdote.
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  #112  
Old 13.05.2012, 03:26
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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who care's how i come across i'm on an internet forum, i'm not arrogant i'm just ranting out.

truth being said, many people might think they are special and interesting but if you don't have an interesting personality or any real interest in life you are a boring person.

there are a lot of people like that here (and a guess elsewhere)

the swiss just have that uniqueness to have slightly more arrogant and closed-minded in their opinions from most foreign people i'm acquainted to.
i know a few arrogant and close minded people who are extremely interesting, where is that mirror again?
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  #113  
Old 13.05.2012, 22:11
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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i know a few arrogant and close minded people who are extremely interesting, where is that mirror again?
good for you, I don't.
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  #114  
Old 13.05.2012, 23:49
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

I have said it before, but it seems to me many foreigners in Switzerland are very poor judges of character. The hang out with boring people and then complain that they're boring, while avoiding those who aren't.

Must be because most are expats living in a professional bubble, and expect all their fellow IT consultants, finance specialists and accountants to be as interesting as they perceive themselves to be.

edit: I fully believe that a large majority of people in Switzerland are boring, but that's just like elsewhere in my opinion.
But since I don't tend to mingle with such people but appreciate their earnest, honest and reliable way of living I couldn't care less.
You want different people to be your friends and neighbors, or so I think.
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  #115  
Old 14.05.2012, 00:11
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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I have not had a single negative interaction.
That qualifies as "having friends". Many.
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  #116  
Old 14.05.2012, 00:53
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

I think swiss are very polite, usually kind, untill today not problem, but, in the other hand i'm not expecting to make many swiss friends. If it happen its ok, if dont its ok too, who really cares..?....
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  #117  
Old 14.05.2012, 02:21
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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good for you, I don't.
Umm, I don't think you realize where I was going with that....
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Old 14.05.2012, 09:57
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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I have said it before, but it seems to me many foreigners in Switzerland are very poor judges of character. The hang out with boring people and then complain that they're boring, while avoiding those who aren't.
Birds of a feather flock together. I often wonder if the people judging other ones as boring are not boring themselves.
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  #119  
Old 14.05.2012, 15:34
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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Birds of a feather flock together. I often wonder if the people judging other ones as boring are not boring themselves.
Quite so, I've just thought about it.. a reason why interesting people are even less likely to be found among boring professions in Switzerland could be because they have the luxury of choice.

Elsewhere economic constraints force even rather interesting people to live an extremely ordinary and career-focused life. Here that's not the case, you can work for a few months, do feck all with the rest of your time or whatever you want, you can go travel for months or even years on end and still not mess up your chances of finding a job later on. In short, those who have stepped up the corporate ladder the quickest, and with whom you now have to mingle, are probably so boring on average that they couldn't even think of doing something more fun with their youth.
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  #120  
Old 14.05.2012, 15:57
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Re: Are the Swiss really hard to crack like coconuts?

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Swiss people are interested in "who you are" not "who you appear to be." The quick, clickish, so-called friendships that Americans, and perhaps others, are used to does not work in Switzerland, which is a good thing. The Swiss do not take "friendship" lightly. Just because someone smiles at you, calls you on the phone, and you spend some time together does not mean they are your "friend." A friend is a much deeper relationship than a casual acquaintance which many people get confused. If anything the Swiss are not "superficial." They just want to be sure "you are who you say you are." If a Swiss person says "OK I will give you a call we must meet one day," they mean it. They are not saying it to try and "impress you."
yep, but all the attempt...the chances you want to take....get turned down. as i said: it takes time, chances. but often not even a smalltalk is possible. and i have gone through the other way around... never mean it...only saying it: meeting up, calling...caring...
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