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  #41  
Old 12.08.2012, 21:51
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

Toddlers and temper tantrums at the store:

Luckily it didn't happen much but when it did, I pushed my cart into a corner and took my child out of the store and into the car where they could hollar all they wanted.

They usually calmed down soon after and I could collect my "angel" and stomp back to the cart to continue my shopping.
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Old 12.08.2012, 21:55
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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2. 4 & 9. No. Never. Not even threatened to do it.
boys or girls?
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Old 12.08.2012, 21:57
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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there are plenty of studies on the subject... abuse is abuse is abuse...

my dad had two belts, one with metal studs, and one without... i got to chose which I wanted.. I would get hit less with the studs, but of course, they would often break skin...

... and that was just the formal punishment for crimes like, not feeding the animals on time, etc... on those other ad hoc occasions, it was usually a hand across the face followed by a shove to the ground

did it help? nope... did it make me hate and resent him? to this day!
I was lucky enough to not have been punished with a belt but I was punished with other tools. I won't go into details.

My daugther had maybe two slaps on her bottom (with diapers on). Both incident were a dangerous situation. I am not for slapping but again, into such situation, the slap on the bottom seemed to be the best option and she never did it again while time out and tv privation didn't work (she was of young for tv privation anyway).

Since she is very young I work with time out and it works wonderfully!
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Old 12.08.2012, 22:00
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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Never be surprised at the lengths a 5 year old will go to at the height of a hissy fit to show you up / piss you off / get their own way. It's all heat-of-the-moment stuff driven by a child's brain who doesn't much think about the consequences of hoofing everything off a supermarket shelf.

I wouldn't be critical of any parent in this situation - how can you prepare for that??
I brought up two kids, and they were and are as strong-willed as anybody. But I have never encountered any situations like the ones described, so call me lucky or I don't know. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I remain as cool as a cucumber, whatever happens.
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  #45  
Old 12.08.2012, 22:10
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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there are plenty of studies on the subject... abuse is abuse is abuse...

my dad had two belts, one with metal studs, and one without... i got to chose which I wanted.. I would get hit less with the studs, but of course, they would often break skin...

... and that was just the formal punishment for crimes like, not feeding the animals on time, etc... on those other ad hoc occasions, it was usually a hand across the face followed by a shove to the ground

did it help? nope... did it make me hate and resent him? to this day!
And most importantly...did it all start with a few slaps when you were a little baby? Probably.

Barbaric.
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  #46  
Old 12.08.2012, 22:11
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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I brought up two kids, and they were and are as strong-willed as anybody. But I have never encountered any situations like the ones described, so call me lucky or I don't know. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I remain as cool as a cucumber, whatever happens.
We've had a couple of occasions when my son has gone nuclear. Maybe he was tired or hungry or coming down with a cold or whatever. I am also extremely slow to lose my cool but if a kid decides to lose the plot I think sometimes you have to ride it out, swallow your embarrassment and carry on.

The point was that I think it's unfair to speculate that "something has gone wrong in the child's first years" if a child has a tantrum in a shop. Tantrums are isolated incidents brought on by a multitude of different factors, most of them unforeseen.

You might have been lucky with your kids, who knows?
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  #47  
Old 12.08.2012, 22:26
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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I was lucky enough to not have been punished with a belt but I was punished with other tools. I won't go into details.

My daugther had maybe two slaps on her bottom (with diapers on). Both incident were a dangerous situation. I am not for slapping but again, into such situation, the slap on the bottom seemed to be the best option and she never did it again while time out and tv privation didn't work (she was of young for tv privation anyway).

Since she is very young I work with time out and it works wonderfully!
Timeout and taking away what they want works well... Along with ignoring innocuous bad behavior completely as it is usually a sign for attention and responding only encourages
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Old 12.08.2012, 22:27
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

So, was the person in question using a baseball bat or similar implement?

Did the child need to go to hospital?

Otherwise, GROSS exaggeration on your part.

Tom
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  #49  
Old 12.08.2012, 22:30
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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And most importantly...did it all start with a few slaps when you were a little baby? Probably.

Barbaric.
Unfortunately it started with my mother long before I was born... My older brother got it the worst of us two but of course my mother was number ne target. But no, it was never a smile slap as far as I could remember, I supposed he was seasoned at abuse by that time

I guess my point to mentioning it is, when I hear people rationalize hitting their kids, I really think that it was how they were brought up and didn't get therapy, or they have no clue how horribly traumatic it is on a child, or, they are just morons without patience and should not be parents to begin with.

I have yet to find a reason where hitting a child adds any value. Given my background, one could argue hitting the parent might have been justified.
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Old 12.08.2012, 22:36
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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Unfortunately it started with my mother long before I was born... My older brother got it the worst of us two but of course my mother was number ne target. But no, it was never a smile slap as far as I could remember, I supposed he was seasoned at abuse by that time

I guess my point to mentioning it is, when I hear people rationalize hitting their kids, I really think that it was how they were brought up and didn't get therapy, or they have no clue how horribly traumatic it is on a child, or, they are just morons without patience and should not be parents to begin with.

I have yet to find a reason where hitting a child adds any value. Given my background, one could argue hitting the parent might have been justified.
But whatever trauma you went through can't be compared to a startled mum suddenly seeing her three year old just about to stick a paperclip in a plug socket (or similar dangerous or damaging situation).

A tap on the bum with some stern words are not even in the same ballpark as systematic child abuse and I think it clouds the issue if you try to somehow link the two incidents.
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  #51  
Old 12.08.2012, 22:40
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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But whatever trauma you went through can't be compared to a startled mum suddenly seeing her three year old just about to stick a paperclip in a plug socket (or similar dangerous or damaging situation).
Having done something similar when I was four or so (and blowing a fuse), I have to agree.

Tom
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Old 12.08.2012, 22:53
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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But whatever trauma you went through can't be compared to a startled mum suddenly seeing her three year old just about to stick a paperclip in a plug socket (or similar dangerous or damaging situation).

A tap on the bum with some stern words are not even in the same ballpark as systematic child abuse and I think it clouds the issue if you try to somehow link the two incidents.
Really? I disagree. Do it once, and you'll find an excuse to repeat. a paper clip in the socket isn't a reason to hit a kid. And, btw, shame on you for not properly covering those sockets,

Danger isn't a reason, period. And I think you're trying to separate the two issues to justify hitting a kid.

And btw, I'm not against stern words, providing it isn't yelling, u less to only get the attention of avoiding those dangerous situations.
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Old 12.08.2012, 22:54
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent - Isaac Asimov
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Old 12.08.2012, 23:00
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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Having done something similar when I was four or so (and blowing a fuse), I have to agree.

Tom
You groan because? You do not agree? Funny!!!
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Old 12.08.2012, 23:05
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

Sashimo, I'm sorry you were abused by your father. That does not mean that everyone who's ever physically chastised their children is an abuser. With normal parents, it starts with smacking... and stops with smacking. It doesn't progress down an ever increasing spiral of abuse.

I know people who were truly abused by their parents who never laid a finger on them. Personally, I think if you don't discipline* your kids, then you may be abusing them. Mojado, if you can't tell the difference between violence and minor physical chastisment, then it's probably a good job that you don't smack your kids.

It's all theoretical to me anyway. I don't even know if it's legal here, and my kids are way above the age where it would be appropriate, even if legal.

*English version of discipline. Does not necessary include physical chastisement.
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Old 12.08.2012, 23:13
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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Sashimo, I'm sorry you were abused by your father. That does not mean that everyone who's ever physically chastised their children is an abuser. With normal parents, it starts with smacking... and stops with smacking. It doesn't progress down an ever increasing spiral of abuse.

I know people who were truly abused by their parents who never laid a finger on them. Mojado, if you can't tell the difference between violence and minor physical chastisment, then it's probably a good job that you don't smack your kids.

It's all theoretical to me anyway. I don't even know if it's legal here, and my kids are way above the age where it would be appropriate, even if legal.
You don't have to be sorry... That was a long time ago....

But, I still disagree... Any form of physical punishment is unnecessary, period.

I'd love for any one of you who disagree to show me evidence where it works. Some study that says, these kids all turned out better for having been slapped on the arse or wherever once in a while. I'd be happy to take back my position for some sound proof I'm wrong.

And I don't think it is all theory... If you read the entire thread you will note there are sme who admit to having popped the kid on the backside to straighten out a situation.

trust me, I'm very happy with being wrong, my ego isn't big enough to feel stress from being put in my place, but I've yet to read anything that proves hitting is ok, and not hitting isn't any more effective.
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Old 12.08.2012, 23:15
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent - Isaac Asimov
I think his son is a convicted child pornographer. I'm not making that up or joking, btw, it was quite a scandal some years back. maybe not the best example?
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Old 12.08.2012, 23:21
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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I think his son is a convicted child pornographer. I'm not making that up or joking, btw, it was quite a scandal some years back. maybe not the best example?
So the unibombers parents are the reason he made bombs and blew up people because he didn't believe in their business practices too?? Really, you want to tie the actions of a grown adult to his parents and say anything good they said or did now becomes invalid?
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Old 12.08.2012, 23:26
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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You don't have to be sorry... That was a long time ago....

But, I still disagree... Any form of physical punishment is unnecessary, period.

I'd love for any one of you who disagree to show me evidence where it works. Some study that says, these kids all turned out better for having been slapped on the arse or wherever once in a while. I'd be happy to take back my position for some sound proof I'm wrong.

And I don't think it is all theory... If you read the entire thread you will note there are sme who admit to having popped the kid on the backside to straighten out a situation.

trust me, I'm very happy with being wrong, my ego isn't big enough to feel stress from being put in my place, but I've yet to read anything that proves hitting is ok, and not hitting isn't any more effective.
A smacked child "is a successful Child"


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Old 12.08.2012, 23:29
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Re: Just saw a mother beating the living sh1t out of her kid in Rhine Falls area...

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So the unibombers parents are the reason he made bombs and blew up people because he didn't believe in their business practices too?? Really, you want to tie the actions of a grown adult to his parents and say anything good they said or did now becomes invalid?
I think that if one of my children grew up to be a child pornographer or a serial killer, I would feel more than a little bit responsible.
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