Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Daily life  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 09.10.2012, 18:04
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Reinach
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 14 Times in 4 Posts
hannahp has earned some respecthannahp has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

All good suggestions so far. I found that having a schedule of little things to do helped me. Local farmer's market one day, walk to the park another day, etc. Doing the same thing on the same day at the same time gave me some much needed structure and it meant I became a "regular" and was able to make some acquaintances in my town. The trick is to make them manageable tasks so you don't feel overwhelmed. I feel much more a part of the town now as I have nodding acquaintances with quite a few town residents. Throw on a coat and get out there, even if it's only 15 minutes a day.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank hannahp for this useful post:
  #22  
Old 09.10.2012, 18:53
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 140
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 76 Times in 34 Posts
OccamRazor has no particular reputation at present
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

It sounds to me the difficulty arises from parenthood, not Switzerland. It can be exacerbated by the fact that you're away from the rest of your family and friends. Fortunately in Switzerland in general there's a very good support network for mothers staying at home.

In the Suisse-Romande, there is a network of centers called "Maisons de Quartier", where you can let your kids play or crawl for free while you have a cup of tea and socialize with other mums. You could certainly try the German-equivalent ones in your area.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank OccamRazor for this useful post:
  #23  
Old 09.10.2012, 22:03
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Zug
Posts: 10
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 5 Posts
tin tin has earned some respecttin tin has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Hello all,

First off, a huge thank you to all your replies. I never imagined I would log on and have so many helpful replies. Thank you heaps. You've made my day and given me lots of ideas which i'm going to look into as soon as i've typed this.

I think if I can meet a couple of friends it gets the ball rolling and i'll quickly build up a little network. It's just finding them. I think being in Zug doesn't help either as there seems to be alot more happening in Zurich from what i've seen.

I would do anything to have my mum around the corner at the moment who could drop by so i could get some zzzz's in the week.

On the plus side the babies are superb and i'm loving every minute of being with them every day. I just wish I could have some adult banter thrown in!

Thanks to those of you who have messaged me. If i can get a chance tonight i will reply.

Reply With Quote
The following 7 users would like to thank tin tin for this useful post:
  #24  
Old 09.10.2012, 22:05
AnAustralian's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,207
Groaned at 6 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 560 Times in 318 Posts
AnAustralian is considered knowledgeableAnAustralian is considered knowledgeableAnAustralian is considered knowledgeable
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Zug is a nice little town to go for walks and such, I hope it works out for you and you can enjoy your surroundings with some nice people.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank AnAustralian for this useful post:
  #25  
Old 09.10.2012, 22:08
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Zug
Posts: 10
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 5 Posts
tin tin has earned some respecttin tin has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Quote:
View Post
Do you have a family member who can come and help you out for a bit? The hardest part, I would imagine, is that your partner is gone M-F. Is this a temporary situation? Not having another adult there for back up, support, just someone to talk to is really hard. And being a first time mom can be hard enough!

Do you have a car or are you tied to public transport? Usually there are support groups for moms of twins, but not sure if that exists in CH-plus there's the language barrier. You are welcome to visit me but I am a 45 min drive (or so) from you, and my kids' school schedules don't leave me with much time "out" of the house...
Hi drmom, my mum is coming out at the end of October for a couple of weeks which will help me alot. Sadly the husband being away is a permanent thing you've hit the nail on the head. It's just having another adult to talk to in the day, even if it's to ask "shall i do such and such"

I have my own car so can get about which is a relief! If i can make it out to Zurich i will definitely let you know. It's also pretty tricky as they are feeding every 3 hours and it's quite hard to feed them when i'm on the move (together i mean)
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 09.10.2012, 22:14
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Zug
Posts: 10
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 5 Posts
tin tin has earned some respecttin tin has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Quote:
View Post
There's also the Families in Zurich yahoo group too. Worth signing up.

Swisspea nicely summed it up for me:


Congratulations, things will/must/can only get better (!), and do use the various support groups (yahoo, facebook, local Zug).

Is your husband able to help much? Is there anyway someone could help you so that you get at least an entire afternoon to yourself (even if it's just to sleep!)?

Thank you, i've just joined the facebook and yahoo group.

My husband is fantastic when he is here which is great. I think I will look at getting some kind of nanny help for one day a week so i can sleep and just re charge.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 09.10.2012, 22:16
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Zug
Posts: 10
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 5 Posts
tin tin has earned some respecttin tin has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Quote:
View Post
In your shoes I would be on the first flight home. With 9 week old twins, on my own Monday to Friday, I would live where I had the support of family and friends and let my husband visit on weekends.

The thought has crossed my mind i promise! I will try and stick it out first but if things don't change then I will go back to the UK.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank tin tin for this useful post:
  #28  
Old 09.10.2012, 22:18
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Zug
Posts: 10
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 5 Posts
tin tin has earned some respecttin tin has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Quote:
View Post
I feel for you, I really do. Being a a mom is very solitary, and even worse when you don't have friends or family to help. And alone with not one but two babies must be so difficult!

I wish I were closer to you to come and give you a hand. Hey, you won't believe me but babies grow up so fast, one day soon you'll miss cuddling a helpless newborn...

Hang in there, it WILL get better. When the twins are a bit older you'll be able to go to playgrounds and playgroups and meet new friends there.
Thank you I am loving every minute of the twins being this age. The are such good babies i'm very lucky. I know they will grow up so fast so i cherishing every moment with them
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank tin tin for this useful post:
  #29  
Old 09.10.2012, 22:20
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Zug
Posts: 10
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 5 Posts
tin tin has earned some respecttin tin has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Quote:
View Post
We have the same scenario (albeit now with a 1 and 3 year old) but my wife is quiet good at going out to playgroups with the kids and meeting other mumms. Having playdates between kids seems to work because a lot of times I come home the house is a chaos because we had children over to play with ours.

These kids are:

- Neighbours, we on purpose choose to live in a family area with lots of kids.
- Baby Gym, which is a program for mothers and their babies and toddles
- Daycare, we put our kids 2 mornings a week in daycare to learn social skills and allow my wife some time to learn french and go to the gym

This works for us, you may give it a try. I hope your husband recognises your hardship as that helps as well. I make sure I take care of the kids when I come home and give my wife a break so she can re-generate. She has a harder job then I do...

Good luck!
Hi acf69,

thans for your suggestions. What is baby gym?
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 10.10.2012, 13:58
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 18
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 25 Times in 6 Posts
GCDM has no particular reputation at present
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Hi there... Don't feel alone... I'm from Australia where i'm used to much friendlier people!!! I am a mother also and not only have I felt the same way you do, but pretty much every one I know that's moved here under those conditions feels the same way.

There is a meet up group called Zurich moms that you can join... It's great and load on mothers who feel the same way you do meet up all the time.

http://www.meetup.com/Zurichmoms/

Also, what would be really good is for you to join a Facebook group called -
Zurich's English Mums & Mums to be. It is a closed group, so you have to be invited by someone in the group to join.

My email address is grace@gracedellalian.com

Email me so that i can invite you in and put you in touch with the groups.

I also have several friends in Zug whom are also from the UK. I will ask them about groups in Zug etc... and email you the info.

Keep your chin up!!!

Grace.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 10.10.2012, 14:13
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Winterthur
Posts: 7
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Mrs Fridge has no particular reputation at present
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Hi there, I really empathise. I have my little boy July last year, it is tough and lonely when that net work of friends just isn't there. A number of times I have reached for my passport ... My sanity was saved by someone setting up a face book group. there are now 2 groups of 80 plus for the Zurich area (although I know some members are more your neck of the woods) most weeks there are one or two meet up, different things suiting different ages. As both groups are invisible on a facebook search please send me a PM and I'll get you added. It is great to just be able to bounce problems and idea off other people or share your experiennces. I know with twins it is difficult to get out in the early months with the endless feeding rounds, but don't dispair there are "mummy friends" around, you just havent met them yet. You never know they might just end up plain old friends.
B
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 10.10.2012, 14:31
TexasLynette's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Thurgau
Posts: 364
Groaned at 6 Times in 5 Posts
Thanked 421 Times in 183 Posts
TexasLynette has an excellent reputationTexasLynette has an excellent reputationTexasLynette has an excellent reputationTexasLynette has an excellent reputation
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

I am very sorry about your trouble. I guess that with two babies and your husband gone most of the time you would find life difficult almost anywhere. Switzerland is not really to blame here. Hopefully you'll soon find some other moms here on the forum or elsewhere. You have gotten great tips in this thread, I'd only like to add that from time to time it could be good idea to meet up some adults in the evening -without babies. Just adults. That could help in keeping your sanity

All the best to you!
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 10.10.2012, 22:04
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Baar
Posts: 6
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 12 Times in 2 Posts
bette1111 has earned some respectbette1111 has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Hi,
Getting to know other mums in your situation will do you a world of good. Have you tried the International Mums and Kids Club? They have a playgroup for young babies and their mums once a week. They are located in a building next to the McDonald's on Zugerstrasse in Baar.
http://www.imkc.ch/Activities.html
There is also a group on Facebook called M.O.M. Zentralschweiz that is a great place for sharing information and learning about local activities for parents with young children and babies.
What you're feeling is completely normal under the circumstances. It will get better with time.
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 11.10.2012, 12:52
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,471
Groaned at 17 Times in 15 Posts
Thanked 1,996 Times in 1,189 Posts
CH_Me has a reputation beyond reputeCH_Me has a reputation beyond reputeCH_Me has a reputation beyond reputeCH_Me has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Check out the International Mum's and Kids club of Zug: www.imkc.ch

They meet behind McDonalds in Baar . You pay a membership fee that covers rent (not cheap in Zug!), insurance, 4 parties a year with private venues for the whole family and tea and coffee and craft supplies. They have a brighter new room with sofas and activity tables for the kids.

The baby group meets on Monday, the next time on the 22nd October due to holidays.

I've been a member for a few years and love the fact I don't have to make weekly playdate plans and can pop-in whenever I want to. A group of friends and I meet there instead of at each others houses. We do crafts with the supplies on hand and have a weekly song/music time in English.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank CH_Me for this useful post:
  #35  
Old 11.10.2012, 14:52
IzabelaInZug's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Zurich
Posts: 732
Groaned at 61 Times in 35 Posts
Thanked 485 Times in 257 Posts
IzabelaInZug is considered knowledgeableIzabelaInZug is considered knowledgeableIzabelaInZug is considered knowledgeable
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

I have been there before and I understand you perfectly although I have no kids of my own. Zug is small and every day feels like Sunday here. It gets crowded during lunch time but then it is again like a ghost town. Please give yourself some time to get used to it. You will probably not spend the rest of your life here as for many of us living here is only temporary.
It is okay to feel the way you do and as long as your children are so young it is not going to change that much as they need your full attention but there are things you can do to improve it and get through the toughest time easier.
You received plenty of information here and I see you make a use of them so you already are on the right track.

If you are still looking for options to meet other mothers, there are great playgroups run by Joy Foster in Lucerne: http://livinginluzern.info/courses/

At the moment I know at least 3 expats moms here in Zug who gave birth recently and they feel the same way you do so I am sure they would love to meet you.

I also have time on Thursdays and Fridays mornings if you would like to meet up for coffee or go for a walk.

Living in Zug is not always easy and making friends in Switzerland takes time so please be patient and keep your head up. You got lots of support here so from now it will get better. I promise.
__________________
Bodywork and Beauty in Zug - http://www.bodylogicstudio.net
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank IzabelaInZug for this useful post:
  #36  
Old 12.10.2012, 08:25
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Tbilisi
Posts: 141
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 48 Times in 33 Posts
zuercherbirmensdorfer has slipped a little
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

This is a decidedly more difficult country for a foreigner to acquire a social life in. Please do not compare it to the UK or the Middle East which are quite different cultures. I don't know how long you have lived in Switzerland but it's unlikely you'll see much change in less than 12 months. You'll need to put in effort to make social life work - learn German, make an effort to interact, join shared interest groups / clubs etc. It's a bit (maybe even a lot) easier if you move here as a student.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank zuercherbirmensdorfer for this useful post:
  #37  
Old 12.10.2012, 08:55
Wollishofener's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Glattbrugg
Posts: 18,978
Groaned at 332 Times in 257 Posts
Thanked 11,715 Times in 6,858 Posts
Wollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Quote:
View Post
Hi all,

First off apologies if this is in the wrong place, and feel free to move it mods!

So I moved to Switzerland with my husband back in January. I spent a lot of time backwards and forwards to the UK as I had some health issues so it's only recently that i've been settled here properly. However... I am feeling so homesick and lonely. I know it takes a while to settle into a new country. I lived in the middle east before here and it took me a good year to get comfy there... but it just feels so much harder here. I'm struggling with the language. I was learning German when we first arrived but we have 9 week old twins and the German has now taken a back seat as I just don't have the time. I haven't made any friends here yet as I haven't been working and to top it off (does it need topping off?!) my husband works away from Monday to Friday. I feel so lonely and sad I would love to meet other mums but I don't even know where to start. To be honest they don't necessarily have to be mums but i'm thinking only another mum would understand the chaos that comes with babies! but that's fine.

Does anyone have any tips? does it get easier?

Please tell me it does.. as right now i want to get on the first flight home

Tin
This is too much simply. You cannot
- care for two babies
- learn a language
- make outside friends
at the same time. You have to be more patient, with yourself and with the world around you.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Wollishofener for this useful post:
  #38  
Old 12.10.2012, 09:00
Wollishofener's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Glattbrugg
Posts: 18,978
Groaned at 332 Times in 257 Posts
Thanked 11,715 Times in 6,858 Posts
Wollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond reputeWollishofener has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Quote:
View Post
This is a decidedly more difficult country for a foreigner to acquire a social life in. Please do not compare it to the UK or the Middle East which are quite different cultures. I don't know how long you have lived in Switzerland but it's unlikely you'll see much change in less than 12 months. You'll need to put in effort to make social life work - learn German, make an effort to interact, join shared interest groups / clubs etc. It's a bit (maybe even a lot) easier if you move here as a student.
The babies will become children within three years, and then will be the ones to pave the way
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Wollishofener for this useful post:
  #39  
Old 15.10.2012, 21:39
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 11
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
steffi.jacob has no particular reputation at present
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Hi, I am a positive person and quite social and it took me at least 6 months to meet people and another 6 months to feel less sad and lonely. It DOES get easier. Try to get out and about, especially with babies people will start talking to you. Try going to the local Muetterberatung and hang out for a while. I met a couple of people there.
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 15.10.2012, 22:04
Shires bird's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Aargau
Posts: 205
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 145 Times in 74 Posts
Shires bird has earned some respectShires bird has earned some respect
Re: Why am I finding life here so difficult? :((

Oh tin tin you poor thing, I am so sorry you are low.

I hope you get cheered soon. xxx
Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Built in closets...why is it so difficult? arrow Housing in general 25 25.06.2012 22:35
Why is adopting a cat in CH so difficult? orangeappled Pet corner 53 29.03.2012 01:16
Non-EU Permits - Why so difficult in Switzerland? Shorrick Mk2 Permits/visas/government 4 04.03.2009 01:26
So difficult to find a job here popfrombkk Other/general 8 18.10.2008 11:04


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 07:20.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0