Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Daily life  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 03.11.2012, 12:37
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: When you've been away from home so long..

Ive only been in CH for two months but I already see the changes. My family is great and are very supportive but I am now starting to lose my friendships.

My best friend told me she will talk to me when she has time because she is too busy right now. That was 6 weeks ago!I have sent several emails and texts just checking up on her but no response. Is this an indication of whats to come in the future?

The only people i talk to now are my folks!We chat at least 3x a week. I was advised to just move on and concentrate on making new friends in CH and passing my degree....what a pity because I really value my friends...
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank for this useful post:
  #22  
Old 03.11.2012, 12:46
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: When you've been away from home so long..

It takes a lot of effort to keep those friendships going - and the longer you leave it, the hardest it gets. When Old Hand came to CH and married a Swiss, and I went to UK and married a Brit- we had no internet, no mobile phones, no Skype, and phone calls cost a days salary or more.

I think writing letters is so much more effective than an e-mail - as it shows real commitment. I've started writing letters again - especially to my 6 year old grand-son, who writes back too.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #23  
Old 03.11.2012, 13:21
Oldhand's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Zürich
Posts: 4,015
Groaned at 18 Times in 17 Posts
Thanked 6,837 Times in 2,059 Posts
Oldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond repute
Re: When you've been away from home so long..

My best friend stayed my best friend even though our lives couldn't have been more different, she died 2 years ago this coming February. I think I'm feeling the pain of my brothers anger more as I've lost a lot of my family in the last decade. My dad just this year and as I said my mum 5 years ago and my closest sister 8 years ago. So my family has really diminished.

I probably stayed closer to my family than whats normal as I was the oldest of a single parent family, mum worked and I run the home. Perhaps not having kids also made me cling more to my younger siblings in a more motherly rather than sisterly way. None of my family have ever fallen out with me before so I'm reeling from the shock. Perhaps I'm just feeling sorry for myself and need to pull myself together and toughen up. I wish I could turn my head off.

I've no desire to go to England now, well not the part where my family live, what for? I think coming from a very working class background didn't help the friends situation, as old fashioned as it sounds, to some I seem a traitor to my class...they think "I think I'm better than them"
This time will pass.
__________________
www.thehappynest.ch
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Oldhand for this useful post:
  #24  
Old 03.11.2012, 13:37
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 389
Groaned at 107 Times in 47 Posts
Thanked 211 Times in 120 Posts
Burner is considered unworthyBurner is considered unworthyBurner is considered unworthyBurner is considered unworthyBurner is considered unworthy
Re: When you've been away from home so long..

Quote:
View Post
a sibling rejected me ...his chasm ... mum stopped cooking for me ... her food not good enough...I have a choice.
Live outside of the box.
Its not complicated.
Its not too hard.
All you need is style.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 03.11.2012, 13:43
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: When you've been away from home so long..

Oldhand, I am so sorry.


Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #26  
Old 03.11.2012, 13:45
Oldhand's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Zürich
Posts: 4,015
Groaned at 18 Times in 17 Posts
Thanked 6,837 Times in 2,059 Posts
Oldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond reputeOldhand has a reputation beyond repute
Re: When you've been away from home so long..

Quote:
View Post
Live outside of the box.
Its not complicated.
Its not too hard.
All you need is style.
Thanks for the advice, I just wish I understood it.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Oldhand for this useful post:
  #27  
Old 04.11.2012, 17:54
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Zurich
Posts: 389
Groaned at 107 Times in 47 Posts
Thanked 211 Times in 120 Posts
Burner is considered unworthyBurner is considered unworthyBurner is considered unworthyBurner is considered unworthyBurner is considered unworthy
Re: When you've been away from home so long..

Let them go if need be.
If you can't agree with your brother, be diplomatic, i.e. agree to disagree with style. With regard to your mum, just be nice to her, you will miss her when she is gone.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 04.11.2012, 18:06
cdcdoc's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Fehraltorf / ZH
Posts: 884
Groaned at 27 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 916 Times in 455 Posts
cdcdoc has a reputation beyond reputecdcdoc has a reputation beyond reputecdcdoc has a reputation beyond reputecdcdoc has a reputation beyond reputecdcdoc has a reputation beyond repute
Re: When you've been away from home so long..

wow...one of the most honest...most inspiring posts ever for me...sorry you have to go through this...
but other friends will show up from people who feel the same:

"Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one!" (C.S. Lewis)


Quote:
View Post
Your body language changes. People recognize you as a foreigner as soon as you walk through the door. Your speech becomes devoid of colloquialism and you have no idea why "that joke was so funny". People you love, friends you have spent your youth with become suspicious, because your not the person you used to be. It's painful and it opens a void that can't be filled.

It's the flip side of the coin. Integration.

I never thought this day would come, that a sibling of mine would reject me because I think differently to him. It seems the chasm is so wide he's stopped all communication. His chasm is so much bigger than mine.

My mum stopped cooking for me after she'd experienced the things I cooked for her on her visits to Switzerland. She would never admit it but because I did stuff she'd never had before, she seemed to think the food I'd loved all my life wouldn't be good enough. Sad but true.

So what the hell am I on about?

I dont want to choose but I have no choice.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank cdcdoc for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
You know you've been assimilated when... olygirl Daily life 35 08.06.2016 17:44
Trusting people again after you've been disappointed - how did you manage it? Kittster General off-topic 48 28.10.2012 11:32
What's The Hottest You've Ever Been? jerallie Daily life 106 17.09.2012 20:43
You know you've been living in Switzerland too long when... Vince Jokes/funnies 27 02.08.2011 13:17
So, what did you do to accommodate foreigners when you lived in your home country? Guest General off-topic 58 19.08.2009 10:12


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 22:03.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0