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Old 19.11.2012, 16:11
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Apero Etiquette?

I searched the threads and did not find anything similar to my situation, so I'm looking for everyone's thoughts.

We received a letter from the management company for our building, inviting us to an apero/meeting so we can meet a new employee of the company and discuss a few issues. Everyone in the building is invited and it is assumed you are coming unless you specifically call and tell them you're not. Ok fine. But..

Trick is, the apero is to be hosted in the flat of the on-site caretakers.

What's the etiquette here? If the caretakers had invited us personally, we'd have brought along wine and flowers. But since it's the management company we don't know for sure what's appropriate.

I am thinking we should take something small for the caretakers as a thank-you for hosting, and maybe something homemade (cookies/brownies or somesuch) to share with all the other residents as part of the apero.

I already stick out bad enough as the only American in a 2km radius (I think), so I don't want to flub up the etiquette. Thoughts?
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Old 19.11.2012, 16:18
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

I think it's nice and polite to bring a little something to the caretakers as they are offering their place as a venue. I'd bring flowers and a bottle of wine. Or (and) offer to help clearing out the stuff afterward
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Old 19.11.2012, 17:05
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

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I think it's nice and polite to bring a little something to the caretakers as they are offering their place as a venue. I'd bring flowers and a bottle of wine. Or (and) offer to help clearing out the stuff afterward
+1. I'd definetely bring something for them.

Melusine, the idea of offering to help clearing out is a very nice gesture, imo.
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Old 19.11.2012, 17:11
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Nah - don't look to the women for practical answers.

The caretakers have no choice, and are probably offering their place begrudgingly, and will be glad when it's over.

Take nothing, as it will be lost or missed in all the excitement - and certainly not appreciated (or nicked by the 'official' hosts).

Better off slipping them a little something, one-to-one, the next day, and empathise a bit with them, about what a hassle it must have been.
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Old 19.11.2012, 17:13
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Or the caretaker's being paid for his time.

We have them in the garage. In winter, it keeps them short and sweet.
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Old 19.11.2012, 17:15
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Nah - don't look to the women for practical answers.

The caretakers have no choice, and are probably offering their place begrudgingly, and will be glad when it's over.

Take nothing, as it will be lost or missed in all the excitement - and certainly not appreciated (or nicked by the 'official' hosts).

Better off slipping them a little something, one-to-one, the next day, and empathise a bit with them, about what a hassle it must have been.
Ah, yes, the manly approach to etiquette




You might have a point, though.
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Old 19.11.2012, 17:17
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

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Better off slipping them a little something, one-to-one, the next day, and empathise a bit with them, about what a hassle it must have been.
Actually that is quite a good idea! Thanks!

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We have them in the garage. In winter, it keeps them short and sweet.
I am glad they didn't choose that option!
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Old 19.11.2012, 18:14
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Send them an invoice for your time and an apparaisal of their new employee.
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Old 20.11.2012, 11:52
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

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Send them an invoice for your time and an apparaisal of their new employee.
Thanks, I think. But what about the on-site caretakers? TiMow might be right, as I am not entirely sure they are voluntarily having dozens of people come tromping through their flat for a few hours.
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Old 20.11.2012, 12:35
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

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I searched the threads and did not find anything similar to my situation, so I'm looking for everyone's thoughts.

We received a letter from the management company for our building, inviting us to an apero/meeting so we can meet a new employee of the company and discuss a few issues. Everyone in the building is invited and it is assumed you are coming unless you specifically call and tell them you're not. Ok fine. But..

Trick is, the apero is to be hosted in the flat of the on-site caretakers.

What's the etiquette here? If the caretakers had invited us personally, we'd have brought along wine and flowers. But since it's the management company we don't know for sure what's appropriate.

I am thinking we should take something small for the caretakers as a thank-you for hosting, and maybe something homemade (cookies/brownies or somesuch) to share with all the other residents as part of the apero.

I already stick out bad enough as the only American in a 2km radius (I think), so I don't want to flub up the etiquette. Thoughts?
Are the concierges 'hosting' the party (if not, and will they even be present)? If they are then take a small gift for them and make a point of thanking them for allowing the use of their home as a meeting place.
Don't take biscuits, cookies, brownies, etc. unless asked specifically, an apero like this will normally be catered.

If they're not present (and the flat has just been 'borrowed' for the occasion), simply treat the place with respect, after all it's someone's home, not a hotel; the following day quietly thank them for allowing the company to use their personal space for the occasion. Possible at this point give them a token gift of chocolates or wine?
Do not make a big thing of it though, they're presumably being compensated by the company as this is part of their job; if they're not then that is a problem, but not yours.

If you want to provide biscuits or cakes for your new colleague, take some in on their first day at work and share them at coffee time!

Last edited by Anjela; 20.11.2012 at 13:51. Reason: clarification
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Old 20.11.2012, 13:39
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Id take flowers.

Assuming the company is providing food and drink i dont see a need for wine/ chocolates etc.

Least with flowers you can dump them somewhere and they still look pretty Enjoy!
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Old 20.11.2012, 14:46
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

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Are the concierges 'hosting' the party (if not, and will they even be present)?
The letter says the management company invites residents to gather at the caretaker's flat at such and such a time. One assumes it's not really voluntary for them to host, as 1) we don't have a communal meeting room, 2) they have the largest flat, and 3) the management company is in a village 20 mins away.

The caretakers will be there. They love to gossip so they wouldn't miss the chance to see who showed up and who didn't.

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Least with flowers you can dump them somewhere and they still look pretty Enjoy!
And they love plants and flowers, so this seems like the safest bet. That or gnomes. They seem to have a thing for gnomes.

Thanks for the input, everyone!
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Old 20.11.2012, 21:26
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Apparently the etiquette at an apero is that you have to go around everyone who's already there introducing yourself. The trick therefore is to arrive early and stand still.

What are the "issues" they want to discuss. Must be serious if they don't approach it via letters. Either they are selling the place or someone has left items in the drying room overnight. Probably the foreigner
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Old 20.11.2012, 21:38
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

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Apparently the etiquette at an apero is that you have to go around everyone who's already there introducing yourself. The trick therefore is to arrive early and stand still.

What are the "issues" they want to discuss. Must be serious if they don't approach it via letters. Either they are selling the place or someone has left items in the drying room overnight. Probably the foreigner
Absolutely! Unless you`re very good at remembering faces so you don`t do a second round of introducing yourself/shaking hands.
Remember ...... say your name as you shake hands.
And everyone is "Sie" (I think?) for first or last names .... Sie, sie, sie, until told to use Du.

Flowers. Wine for caretakers use, give the next day, it may be gulped down anonymously at the Apero evening.

Do tell afterwards what the meeting was about?
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Old 20.11.2012, 22:16
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Don't forget: 'invitation to attend" = "unofficially mandatory"
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Old 21.11.2012, 10:02
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

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Apparently the etiquette at an apero is that you have to go around everyone who's already there introducing yourself. The trick therefore is to arrive early and stand still.

What are the "issues" they want to discuss. Must be serious if they don't approach it via letters. Either they are selling the place or someone has left items in the drying room overnight. Probably the foreigner
Thanks. As if I didn't have enough anxiety already!

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Absolutely! Unless you`re very good at remembering faces so you don`t do a second round of introducing yourself/shaking hands.
Remember ...... say your name as you shake hands.
And everyone is "Sie" (I think?) for first or last names .... Sie, sie, sie, until told to use Du.

Flowers. Wine for caretakers use, give the next day, it may be gulped down anonymously at the Apero evening.

Do tell afterwards what the meeting was about?
Good thing OH made a cheat sheet after the last get-together so I can study up. I suppose we're on Du terms with several, as we introduced using first names last time. But there are a few people I haven't formally met. And yes, I will report back what the big fuss was about.

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Don't forget: 'invitation to attend" = "unofficially mandatory"
Yeah, kind of got that impression. That's also why I said I don't think the caretakers are "volunteering" voluntarily.
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Old 23.11.2012, 09:51
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Okay, so a quick update. The meeting was held and only about half the residents showed up. So much for mandatory.

Food/Gifts: Management company provided snack-sandwiches and quiches. Caretakers made that warm fruity wine (sorry, forget what it's called). We took a small poinsettia plant to the caretakers, which they really liked. None of the other residents brought anything. Oh well. I am glad we did, because it was very nice of them to open up their home to everyone.

The Scoop: Met the new gal. She seems nice, and she speaks English which is fantastic. Also met the official manager dude, whom I had not met before. He introduced the new gal, explained why the old one left, thanked the caretakers for the great job they do, and thanked the residents for paying rent on time. That's it! Then it was drinks and food until WAY too late in the evening.

I learned: Swiss people only pretend to be reserved. Get a little alcohol in them and you'll hear some great, crazy stories. My neighbors are even cooler than I thought.

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Send them an invoice for your time and an apparaisal of their new employee.
I was tempted, because I am not a late night person and the "meeting" ran for nearly 4 hours.

Thanks again for the advice, everyone!
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Old 23.11.2012, 10:49
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Give them a bag of salt and a shovel so that they're ready to clear your sidewalk this winter.
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Old 23.11.2012, 13:18
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

Forgive the side and (somewhat) unrelated hackle but each time etiquette is mentioned, this viral video comes to mind:

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Old 23.11.2012, 13:37
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Re: Apero Etiquette?

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that warm fruity wine (sorry, forget what it's called).
Glühwein?
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