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  #21  
Old 27.07.2013, 13:45
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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Tell your family, friends and anyone pressuring you to get married to sod off. In a nice way off course. This is 2013 and you are an intelligent, educated internationally mobile and open minded person. Sounds normal and in my personal view, proper.

Although I'm confused as you say that Korean and Indian girls like you, but then say you want someone with a different cultural background. Now if what you really mean that you fancy Caucasian birds, and the cultural bit is just fluff then fair enough. But say so.

For what it's worthy I think you have poor taste in women if you prefer European sorts to east or south Asian. Sorry to any pasty european ladies reading this. My better half is quite exotic, and that was certainly part of the attraction, although quite what she sees in me is still a mystery. But ultimately I wouldn't care if she was a pasty European like me either, I'd still have fallen for her 200%. Love is not a formula. We met outside a shop. I should have taken that as a warning I guess. Hope she doesn't read this
Sorry to make you confused. I am sure you are not Asian. I don't know how to explain better, but please see the below:

Chinese culture/language/tradition are quite dominant in Asia for some historical reasons, at least South East Asia. For example, The Chinese Lunar Calendar, in particular, Chinese New Year, is celebrated by Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese every year on the same day. Just like Commonwealth countries celebrating the same Christmas.

Difference of culture among Asia is not significant to me. (It's just like you are asking Indian people to really learn Bangladesh culture or New Zealander learn from Australian, necessary?great value?)

For me, I will be better off to see something completely different, either European or South/North American. That's why I decided to Switzerland.
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  #22  
Old 27.07.2013, 13:58
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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For me, I will be better off to see something completely different, either European or South/North American. That's why I decided to Switzerland.
My Asian ex use to tell me that a lot of Asian men want and prefer non-Asian women. I'm not sure if this is true, but I suppose it comes down to the "exotic factor" and is the same reason why, for example, some white men seek Asian women.

When I met my ex, I was actually rather (immaturely) infatuated with the fact that he was Asian, as I was studying Asian art at the time and was a bit obsessed with the culture. But as with any relationship, in time, you will get use to the person and they will become less and less exotic to you. This is why I strongly suggest that, if it really is love you're seeking, then you need to perhaps reconsider what you think love really is and not place race as an important or determining factor in whom you choose to date.
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  #23  
Old 27.07.2013, 14:18
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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Sorry to make you confused. I am sure you are not Asian. I don't know how to explain better, but please see the below:

Chinese culture/language/tradition are quite dominant in Asia for some historical reasons, at least South East Asia. For example, The Chinese Lunar Calendar, in particular, Chinese New Year, is celebrated by Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese every year on the same day. Just like Commonwealth countries celebrating the same Christmas.
Well I strongly sudpect that Japanese haven't celebrated the new year per the Chinese calendar for over 100 years, instead they celebrate on 1st Jan. and they celebrate Christmas even though only a fraction are christian. And India doesn't celebrate the Chinese new year I suspect.

Do all commonwealth countries celebrate Christmas? Pakistan, India, Malaysia, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka?
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Old 27.07.2013, 14:40
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

some other (stereotypie) points:

-European girls typically prefer men that are taller than they are. Finding a male Chinese >1.75m may be difficult.

-For Europeans, it's difficult to guess the age of an asian. The girls might think that you are only 16.

-(Mainland) Chinese very often have bad teeth. Not appreciated here.
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Old 27.07.2013, 14:54
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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Define "Asian". Indian? Pakistani? Chinese? Thai?

Either way I suggest joining dating sites like OKCupid.com and POF.com, they will allow you to get in touch with people who are in general looking more seriously for a relationship than in a bar or club (which you say you don't like going to anyway), and then you can put your personality across more easily. Either way, good luck!
FYI, I am from HONG KONG. I tried OKCupid and Skout but not worked for me
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  #26  
Old 27.07.2013, 15:05
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

Many countries have different default interpretations of "Asian" - even Americans and Brits use it differently.

You're Chinese.

In China (or HK, Sg, Taiwan etc) people get married young, and the goal of many relationships is baby first and love & compatibility second. This holds for other Asians as well, such as Indians, although the parental match tries to solve the compatibility problem.

For Asians who have left Asia they have often done so to get away from parental control. So they are breaking their cultural norms and marrying later in life. You're comparing yourself to your FB friends (probably still in HK, China, Sg etc) and not Chinese who live and work in Europe.

Plus you're right - you're young, and say you look younger. Not so good for attracting more mature ready-to-settle-down women.

Basically, you're too young to settle down imo, especially as you may not even stay in Switzerland that long. Who knows.

Stop comparing yourself with FB friends who live in a totally different environment.

You have two problems - one, that you think you're a loser. You're not (well, you maybe for totally different reasons ) and two, your parents. Are they giving you grief? Explain that you're living in Europe and are not done with being young and adventurous yet. They won't like it but hey. They're too far away to do much about it.
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  #27  
Old 27.07.2013, 15:10
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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Well I strongly sudpect that Japanese haven't celebrated the new year per the Chinese calendar for over 100 years, instead they celebrate on 1st Jan. and they celebrate Christmas even though only a fraction are christian. And India doesn't celebrate the Chinese new year I suspect.

Do all commonwealth countries celebrate Christmas? Pakistan, India, Malaysia, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka?
I strongly agree that 1st Jan is kind of celebrating by young Asian for the joy of 'beginning of the year'. However, it does not have deeper/further meaning.

Chinese New Year is NOT ONLY 'a new year', but most importantly it's a family re-union and have a special dinner like Christmas to you if applicable. According to my Japanese friend, yes, they keep this tradition and she goes back to Japan for family re-union every Chinese New Year. She is in her 40's .

I am from HK. As a commonwealth member, we do have Christmas holiday. I have to apologise that I know little about south Asian countries whether they have Christmas or not. Please let me know after you confirm if they do.
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  #28  
Old 27.07.2013, 15:15
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I have to apologise that I know little about south Asian countries whether they have Christmas or not. Please let me know after you confirm if they do.
When I lived in China, everything was still running and open on Christmas day. I had class. The malls were full of Christmas trees but only because they thought it would bring in more custom. The "Happy Christmas" (or 圣诞节快乐) signs were still up in March.

In Taiwan, Christmas day is a working day.

in Singapore it's a holiday (thank the Brits for that).
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  #29  
Old 27.07.2013, 15:33
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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I am from HK. As a commonwealth member, we do have Christmas holiday. I have to apologise that I know little about south Asian countries whether they have Christmas or not. Please let me know after you confirm if they do.
Christmas is usually celebrated wherever there are Christians, and businesses looking to cash in on the festivities.

Hari Raya Puasa, Chinese New Year, Christmas, Deepavali, Thaipusam, etc., are celebrated in Malaysia (another commonwealth country) and are open to everyone.

When I was in Kuala Lumpur one December, lots of bars and shops were decorated and lit up with fairy lights, and many staff wore Santa hats.
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  #30  
Old 27.07.2013, 15:40
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My Asian ex use to tell me that a lot of Asian men want and prefer non-Asian women. I'm not sure if this is true, but I suppose it comes down to the "exotic factor" and is the same reason why, for example, some white men seek Asian women.

When I met my ex, I was actually rather (immaturely) infatuated with the fact that he was Asian, as I was studying Asian art at the time and was a bit obsessed with the culture. But as with any relationship, in time, you will get use to the person and they will become less and less exotic to you. This is why I strongly suggest that, if it really is love you're seeking, then you need to perhaps reconsider what you think love really is and not place race as an important or determining factor in whom you choose to date.
I definitely agree with you!
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Old 27.07.2013, 17:39
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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only asian women like me)
So, you have only what, ~0.5-1 billion women that may like you ... did you call yourself a loser in the same post?

(Apologies for not adding to a discussion, just feeling a bit jealous here )
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  #32  
Old 27.07.2013, 22:23
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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some other (stereotypie) points:

-(Mainland) Chinese very often have bad teeth. Not appreciated here.
Is this a joke? I am consistently appalled by the horrible teeth of the people I meet here. Its not quite as bad as some cultures and I agree some Asians have bad teeth but I cannot believe the swiss would hold that against them!
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  #33  
Old 27.07.2013, 22:47
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

If you are looking to date a European lady then Switzerland is definitely the place ! I've noticed a lot of interracial couples where the man is Asian and the girlfriend/wife is European. --

Good Luck!
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  #34  
Old 27.07.2013, 23:53
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i have changed a bit my mind on age issue since I studied in Swiss coz I found my classmates are all older than me, around their 30's. Relatively, I am not that old but sometimes it's quite difficult to get rid of my thought of origin.

Again, you studied in Switzerland

And your "thought of origin" is rubbish. There of course may be a problem with xenophobic people at times. But you should never surrender, never. What matters is your mind most of all. Yes, there are millions of people in "north of the Alps Europe" who have that "thought of origin problem". And of course feel comfortable if there are other "Mediterranean" people around. But unlike the first generation immigrants, the Secondos/Tricondos simply do not carry that "thought of origin" around. And most immigrants of modern times also do not. And YOU should NOT either.

I might understand you if you lived in Gettnau or Sumiswald or Appenzell or Gruyère, but you live in Geneva, and so you simply should forget about such an inferiority complex right now !
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Old 28.07.2013, 05:18
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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Chinese culture/language/tradition are quite dominant in Asia for some historical reasons, at least South East Asia. For example, The Chinese Lunar Calendar, in particular, Chinese New Year, is celebrated by Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese every year on the same day. Just like Commonwealth countries celebrating the same Christmas.
this self centered view of the world shouldnt surprise me given that the direct translation of china is 'center of the universe'....did you know that people in taiwan didnt speak chinese until after WWII when the chinese invaded killing thousands of native taiwanese? even today, older folks growing up prior to the 40s speak only taiwanese and japanese.
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Old 28.07.2013, 05:39
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

like most things in life, it has to do with timing a luck but you can increase your chances of finding someone by putting yourself out there and expanding your social circles. i worked in an office for two years with about 80 people in my department. in that time there were 3 couples hooking up that i knew of and 2 of them got married. so 4 people within this small set of 80 found love. i dont believe in soul mates or that there is just one person out there for you and this is a testament to that - if you take my former office as an example, then statistically there are millions of people out there in the world you could possibly hook up with and marry. you just have to be put in contact with enough people to find someone.
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Old 28.07.2013, 05:44
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

bring a wing-woman out with you. i've helped my guy friends doing this in the past and made a few really good female friends too.
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  #38  
Old 28.07.2013, 06:32
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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Difference of culture among Asia is not significant to me.
If you plan to talk to Asian girls: That's a really bad starting point. It just shows your rather typical and fairly arrogant mind-set.

Honestly: Blaming that the girls don't like you on your race is a damn easy way out, isn't it? They are all racist, it could not possibly be you... because you are a nice guy and can offer them all they want, like a non-smoker...

Read this:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-...better-person/
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  #39  
Old 28.07.2013, 07:35
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

you're only 26. Don't come across as wanting to settle down and have kids as soon as you meet someone as this will scare them off. Look for someone to have fun with, travel with, etc and if something happens, cool.

you sound desperate for some reason, don't let you FB friends' "happiness" make you feel that you must do something like get married tomorrow. Chicks can sniff out a desperate guy a mile off.
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  #40  
Old 28.07.2013, 08:01
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Re: cultural difference? lack of luck? please advise where you met your lover‏

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... you need to perhaps reconsider what you think love really is and not place race as an important or determining factor in whom you choose to date.
Quite. Being not of my culture was not why I was attracted to my wife in the first place. There were plenty of chinese women around, and plenty of european - but she's the one I fell for. Perhaps due to her staggering lack of judgement.

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-For Europeans, it's difficult to guess the age of an asian. The girls might think that you are only 16.
Asian people have difficulty guessing the age of my wife, not just Europeans.

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When I lived in China, everything was still running and open on Christmas day.
Aha - rather like Paris.
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You still have class, Adrian.
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