The First World Problem Thread

[MusicChick]

My selfies are ridiculous.

So, after years of moaning to ourselves and tutting at the neighbour's tall, wide, hazelnut tree blocking our view of the mountains, they have cut it down. Yay, we can now see the mountains.

I really miss the tree.

[curley]

	Quote:	Swisstree
	So, after years of moaning to ourselves and tutting at the neighbour's tall, wide, hazelnut tree blocking our view of the mountains, they have cut it down. Yay, we can now see the mountains. I really miss the tree.

And all the direct wind and the noise you can enjoy now.
At least you can see the highway and see the storms coming now.

[curley]

Doing my book-keeping today, it took me a while to find out who Kaesenova is
All these aliases .....

[davesco]

Arrived in Locarno to our new apartment a month ago and we did not go once to the Film Festival in Piazza Grande. Still unpacking from a 40 foot container and hanging up curtains.

Fridge is so full of food I've had to take one of the two bottles of champagne out so I can close the door.

[curley]

I had to get all this boring stuff done today, looking forward to a cozy drink in the garden in the evening at least - and now we got a heavy rain-storm.

[robBob]

	Quote:	curley
	I had to get all this boring stuff done today, looking forward to a cozy drink in the garden in the evening at least - and now we got a heavy rain-storm.

What's with the indicator light?

[curley]

	Quote:	robBob
	What's with the indicator light?

The lambda probe had to be replaced.
When I said that I had mentioned my problem for months now (but could not demonstrate it as it was irregular) and why was this not noticed at least at the thorough check for m.o.t. I was told, as long as the light doesn't come on they can't do anything.

This guy drives old motorbikes and if I remember correctly vintage cars. He can recognize a symptom if he hears of one, I'm sure. But it's this "that woman talks about engine-problem" thing, I'm afraid.
They said lambdasone, I googled and said yep, makes sense. And I'm not a mechanic who I'm sure can figure it out the other way around. Ah well, hope this problem is solved now as I had some scary moments when the car wouldn't move when it should have.

This is my first car with such a computer. Life will be annoying in future as I'm a total fan of common sense. Ah well, I'll butter up the board computer from now on, have a friendly chat with it daily or something. Living up to "that woman ....."

[JagWaugh]

	Quote:	curley
	This is my first car with such a computer. Life will be annoying in future as I'm a total fan of common sense. Ah well, I'll butter up the board computer from now on, have a friendly chat with it daily or something. Living up to "that woman ....."

If you can become an ECU whisperer then there will be lots of work for you. (LOTS of work.)

[curley]

	Quote:	JagWaugh
	If you can become an ECU whisperer then there will be lots of work for you. (LOTS of work.)

Okay, I'll try for that.

[aSwissInTheUS]

	Quote:	curley
	This is my first car with such a computer. Life will be annoying in future as I'm a total fan of common sense. Ah well, I'll butter up the board computer from now on, have a friendly chat with it daily or something. Living up to "that woman ....."

Such a "computer"? You never had a car with fuel injection and a three-way cat before?

[curley]

	Quote:	aSwissInTheUS
	Such a "computer"? You never had a car with fuel injection and a three-way cat before?

Yes, dear, I did. But not the computer that needs to be read out in order to know what's okay and what's not.

You are actually supporting my point: To find out the lambda probe is not working properly a reading-out of said computer should not be necessary.

[robBob]

	Quote:	curley
	Yes, dear, I did. But not the computer that needs to be read out in order to know what's okay and what's not. You are actually supporting my point: To find out the lambda probe is not working properly a reading-out of said computer should not be necessary.

Without an inproper readout how else can on tell?

[robBob]

	Quote:	curley
	The lambda probe had to be replaced. When I said that I had mentioned my problem for months now (but could not demonstrate it as it was irregular) and why was this not noticed at least at the thorough check for m.o.t. I was told, as long as the light doesn't come on they can't do anything. This guy drives old motorbikes and if I remember correctly vintage cars. He can recognize a symptom if he hears of one, I'm sure. But it's this "that woman talks about engine-problem" thing, I'm afraid. They said lambdasone, I googled and said yep, makes sense. And I'm not a mechanic who I'm sure can figure it out the other way around. Ah well, hope this problem is solved now as I had some scary moments when the car wouldn't move when it should have. This is my first car with such a computer. Life will be annoying in future as I'm a total fan of common sense. Ah well, I'll butter up the board computer from now on, have a friendly chat with it daily or something. Living up to "that woman ....."

Thing is women can play dumm and pretend not to know a thing. Us guys have to act like we know it all even though we dont. By the way my garage told me that my car has 3 brains and its only a VW. Whats scary is they replaced everything under guarantee cause the adaptive lighting refused to work. Had to go into the shop 3 times till they replaced all the wires.

[JagWaugh]

	Quote:	curley
	To find out the lambda probe is not working properly a reading-out of said computer should not be necessary.

I've never seen a car with full OEM onboard diagnostics.

	Quote:	robBob
	Without an inproper readout how else can one tell?

Indeed.

You could use an exhaust gas analyser, but that wouldn't allow you to distinguish between a fault in the wiring, the control system (ECU), a sensor fault (The Lambda sensor itself, the MAF), or a cat failure.

You can remove whatever covers are about and use an ohmmeter/scope/voltmeter to check sensors and signals, and if you're lucky (i.e. the fault isn't intermittent) you'll find a broken wire or a corroded connector.

But it's a LOT faster to plug a diagnostic machine in, read the existing fault list, decide if the computer is telling you the truth, and swap out whatever bits are suggested.

Sometimes you can perform a calibration routine and the fault goes away, sometimes you swap the sensor out and the fault returns (which generally means that there is a wiring fault).

You can indeed hear some faults, Curley, but tracing an intermittent fault, which has only happened when the customer was driving, on a car that you're not really familiar with, when it's not a common fault on that model... That's really, really, difficult.

[curley]

Well I'm glad everybody is so happy with those computers and the attitude "if the computer says everything is okay, everything is okay".

There is nothing to hear when the car simply doesn't move - until of course I double-declutch like a maniac to force the thing to fu**ing move off the crossing before I get hit. That's rather loud.

However, I never had problems with a car for an entire year without it being sorted/found before I had one of these board-computers or what ever you call this thing. Had I had an accident within this year due to this I would have been blamed of driving an unroadworthy car. Wanna bet the judge would not have accepted "but the computer did not report on it"? Further more they would have argued that I actually KNEW about the problem. And ended up arguing exactly as I am now.

Boys with their toys .... all logic flies out the window. Next car will be a 1950 beatle (With Ricaro seats of course as the originals are killers).

Anyway, we're derailing the thread. I just hope my next FWP won't be: Lambda probe replaced, problem not resolved, got hit by a truck.

Oh and I can imagine the thread here: curley killed in car-accident because car didn't move. But she mentioned that repetitively. How third world is Switzerland? They're all gangsters, charge lots of money for nothing, can't trust those mechanics here, would never happen in [insert where poster comes from]. But it was her own fault, woman are simply not assertive and anyway it was all because she eat meat, smoked and she was a cheeky cow anyway.

[JagWaugh]

	Quote:	curley
	Well I'm glad everybody is so happy with those computers and the attitude "if the computer says everything is okay, everything is okay". There is nothing to hear when the car simply doesn't move - until of course I double-declutch like a maniac to force the thing to fu**ing move off the crossing before I get hit. That's rather loud. However, I never had problems with a car for an entire year without it being sorted/found before I had one of these board-computers or what ever you call this thing. Had I had an accident within this year due to this I would have been blamed of driving an unroadworthy car. Wanna bet the judge would not have accepted "but the computer did not report on it"? Further more they would have argued that I actually KNEW about the problem. And ended up arguing exactly as I am now. Boys with their toys .... all logic flies out the window. Next car will be a 1950 beatle (With Ricaro seats of course as the originals are killers). Anyway, we're derailing the thread. I just hope my next FWP won't be: Lambda probe replaced, problem not resolved, got hit by a truck. Oh and I can imagine the thread here: curley killed in car-accident because car didn't move. But she mentioned that repetitively. How third world is Switzerland? They're all gangsters, charge lots of money for nothing, can't trust those mechanics here, would never happen in [insert where poster comes from]. But it was her own fault, woman are simply not assertive and anyway it was all because she eat meat, smoked and she was a cheeky cow anyway.

I'm not sure if you're browned off at me or not.

I am anything other than a fan of cars with computers. Hell, I'd prefer it if they had magnetos and acetylene lamps.

I you knew the hours I have spent trying to make Selespeed transmissions with intermittent faults to break permanently so that I finally know what the hell it is that is wrong with them. And that's just two cars with Selespeeds! I've spent more time fiddling with them than all purely mechanical transmissions in the last 5 years.

[curley]

	Quote:	JagWaugh
	I'm not sure if you're browned off at me or not. I am anything other than a fan of cars with computers. Hell, I'd prefer it if they had magnetos and acetylene lamps. I you knew the hours I have spent trying to make Selespeed transmissions with intermittent faults to break permanently so that I finally know what the hell it is that is wrong with them. And that's just two cars with Selespeeds! I've spent more time fiddling with them than all purely mechanical transmissions in the last 5 years.

No, Jag, not at all!

I do take it all with the humour I've put in this post. Really. I do express when I'm flabbergasted (and I had the impression my mechanic did not like that at all, LOL) but I can live with the world "as it is today"
I just know, had an exboyfriend, who was a mechanic, been around, this problem would have been solved within a week. Because I tend to hang around people with common sense.

A Selespeed sounds a lot more complicated and while they seem Alfa Romeo and Fiat specific I'm quite sure, a lambda probe is in every car ever since the catalyser has been introduced. I may be wrong here though.

[marton]

	Quote:	curley
	Well I'm glad everybody is so happy with those computers and the attitude "if the computer says everything is okay, everything is okay". There is nothing to hear when the car simply doesn't move - until of course I double-declutch like a maniac to force the thing to fu**ing move off the crossing before I get hit. That's rather loud. However, I never had problems with a car for an entire year without it being sorted/found before I had one of these board-computers or what ever you call this thing. Had I had an accident within this year due to this I would have been blamed of driving an unroadworthy car. Wanna bet the judge would not have accepted "but the computer did not report on it"? Further more they would have argued that I actually KNEW about the problem. And ended up arguing exactly as I am now. Boys with their toys .... all logic flies out the window. Next car will be a 1950 beatle (With Ricaro seats of course as the originals are killers). Anyway, we're derailing the thread. I just hope my next FWP won't be: Lambda probe replaced, problem not resolved, got hit by a truck. Oh and I can imagine the thread here: curley killed in car-accident because car didn't move. But she mentioned that repetitively. How third world is Switzerland? They're all gangsters, charge lots of money for nothing, can't trust those mechanics here, would never happen in [insert where poster comes from]. But it was her own fault, woman are simply not assertive and anyway it was all because she eat meat, smoked and she was a cheeky cow anyway.

Well it is a sort of catch 22!
If you have a component like an oxygen sensor that is only used by an onboard computer then it is very hard to trace such a fault without the computer.

Having said that they have been around a long time, I have a side business repairing onboard computers from cars dating back to 1979.