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  #41  
Old 19.05.2015, 11:16
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Of course this thread also begs the question of your favorite place to blow off, for me it must be the airplane cabin, where the reduction of pressure let´s you rip a world class corker, I have had the stewies make some very unladylike remarks from time to time and have on one occasion had passengers two rows up and two down retching from my transatlantic beer farts.
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  #42  
Old 19.05.2015, 11:47
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Unfortunately I can't fart strawberries. Now, the smell of mouldy and rotten strawberries, that's another matter entirely
Ftfy
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  #43  
Old 19.05.2015, 11:53
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

But you can make your farts smell like roses:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...-of-roses.html

Here is the online shop for the pills:http://www.pilulepet.com/en/
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  #44  
Old 19.05.2015, 12:05
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Of course this thread also begs the question of your favorite place to blow off, for me it must be the airplane cabin, where the reduction of pressure let´s you rip a world class corker, I have had the stewies make some very unladylike remarks from time to time and have on one occasion had passengers two rows up and two down retching from my transatlantic beer farts.
Maybe that was you! Although it was years ago. We were flying from JFK to AMS on a nearly empty Delta flight, and the guy behind us - somewhere - was farting - the silent but deadly ones -for hours. Now that was extreme farting.
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  #45  
Old 19.05.2015, 12:24
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

I'll just leave these here.

Best not to watch these after the consumption of food.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Qm5sRQyfg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X45Yoj8oSCk
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  #46  
Old 19.05.2015, 13:01
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Today one of our local farmers has decided to empty his tank of cow crap all over his field. I wouldn't notice if someone farted now right in my face!
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  #47  
Old 19.05.2015, 13:01
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Maybe that was you! Although it was years ago. We were flying from JFK to AMS on a nearly empty Delta flight, and the guy behind us - somewhere - was farting - the silent but deadly ones -for hours. Now that was extreme farting.
Ahem! Could well have been, warfarting has always been a specialty of mine.
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Old 19.05.2015, 13:39
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

Awesome recipe for producing an almost endless supply of bottom burps....and it's delicious. Johnny Fartpants himself would probably swear by this recipe.

DSB's Slow Cooked Fart Chicken

1kg Chicken Thighs, skin on.
2 Bulbs of Garlic
6 Red Onions
Teaspoon of Sea Salt
Teaspoon of Black Pepper
Olive Oil

Make slits in the chicken and put in a baking dish.
Peel and chop the cloves and add to the top of the dish.
Peel and finely chop the onions, same as above.
Add salt and pepper.
Drizzle with plenty of the oil.

Bake for 5 hours at 140 Degrees Celsius.
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Old 19.05.2015, 13:48
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Today one of our local farmers has decided to empty his tank of cow crap all over his field. I wouldn't notice if someone farted now right in my face!
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  #50  
Old 19.05.2015, 14:09
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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But you can make your farts smell like roses:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...-of-roses.html

Here is the online shop for the pills:http://www.pilulepet.com/en/
omg I hope this is real! I remember being SO disappointed when I discovered that the "glitter poop pills" were not real pills that would make you poop rainbows! I would have been 100% all over it haha
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  #51  
Old 19.05.2015, 14:13
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Awesome recipe for producing an almost endless supply of bottom burps....and it's delicious. Johnny Fartpants himself would probably swear by this recipe.

DSB's Slow Cooked Fart Chicken

1kg Chicken Thighs, skin on.
2 Bulbs of Garlic
6 Red Onions
Teaspoon of Sea Salt
Teaspoon of Black Pepper
Olive Oil

Make slits in the chicken and put in a baking dish.
Peel and chop the cloves and add to the top of the dish.
Peel and finely chop the onions, same as above.
Add salt and pepper.
Drizzle with plenty of the oil.

Bake for 5 hours at 140 Degrees Celsius.
Underwashed red lentils are one sure fire method, but the best in my humble opinion is after eating goat, "goat bleats twice," the saying goes, After a meal of roast goat you can wake up in the middle of the night, your bed duvet is floating around the ceiling and your first thought is not "where am I" but "for god´s sake open the window."
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  #52  
Old 19.05.2015, 14:19
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

The reduction in air pressure during skiing trips also has the side effect of drawing out gas at higher than normal rates - and with the temporary increase in consumption of typical ski-trip food and beer, a prudent storm-damage check may be in order.

Never mind farting in each others company, when I was a kid, our neighbour (small girl, around 7 or so) had a habit of sitting down on one hand with one finger residing in a warm location. At various surprise moments, the finger was removed after pre-heating and the person sitting next to her was cordially invited to smell her otherwise innocent-looking finger... At least only smell.
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  #53  
Old 19.05.2015, 14:25
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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The reduction in air pressure during skiing trips also has the side effect of drawing out gas at higher than normal rates - and with the temporary increase in consumption of typical ski-trip food and beer, a prudent storm-damage check may be in order..
..Then you slip some arrogant chappy who has been abusive to your waitress girlfriend a laxative in his morning herbal tea before he hits the mountain skislopes...
Ah the memories...
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Old 19.05.2015, 14:26
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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the best in my humble opinion is after eating goat, "goat bleats twice," the saying goes, After a meal of roast goat you can wake up in the middle of the night, your bed duvet is floating around the ceiling and your first thought is not "where am I" but "for god´s sake open the window."
lol, there's the Hessisch vorspeisen "Handkäse mit Musik", the latter part meaning after-farts.
Besides the soft cheese, it has chopped onions, cumin and veggie oil.
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Old 19.05.2015, 14:31
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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The family that farts together, stays together.

Seriously, people don't fart? Even the dog farts.

And this is yet another good reason for having a dog. When something odiferous slips out, you can exclaim "Rover!"
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  #56  
Old 19.05.2015, 14:32
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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Old 19.05.2015, 15:16
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

What's worse than farting? Farting during a gynocological exam.
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  #58  
Old 19.05.2015, 15:18
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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What's worse than farting? Farting during a gynocological exam.
Kinky..!
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Old 19.05.2015, 15:37
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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The reduction in air pressure during skiing trips also has the side effect of drawing out gas at higher than normal rates - and with the temporary increase in consumption of typical ski-trip food and beer, a prudent storm-damage check may be in order.
This is where Easyjet passengers are lucky as rather than the fake leather of Swiss, EJ has textile seats so you can fart into the seat cushion, out the other side and thus inflate the lifejacket.

Farts can be lifesaving sometimes.
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Old 19.05.2015, 15:53
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Re: does your man fart next to you?

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And this is yet another good reason for having a dog. When something odiferous slips out, you can exclaim "Rover!"
Just as well dogs can't talk .....

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...... It happened at a cocktail party many years ago which The Duchesse was hosting for her very distinguished and very posh friends.

The evening was progressing well and The Duchesse was making sure that all of her guests were being looked after and in company with James her butler who had some savouries on a tray, she was doing the rounds and having polite chit chat with all.

In a lull in conversation when noise levels were low The Duchesse to her extreme embarrassessment let out a very loud unladylike rasper that was clearly audible all over the room.

Quick as a flash she responded and said haughtily and loudly to James the butler who was nearby. “James stop that immediately!”

To which James replied even faster. “Certainly madam which way did it go?”
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