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  #141  
Old 27.02.2017, 13:03
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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i've never used online dating so I don't know if age is up there front and center. A guy you meet in a class, on the slopes, in a bar isn't going to ask for identity papers. And younger guys aren't necessarily looking for mothers.

No one will have any idea of your age in casual conversation. When we were just hanging around, my husband thought i was younger than him (i'm older) It's all about context.

Oh, and I have a cousin who met her boyfriend in her late 40's....they are together more than 10 years, and she's 8 years older. Must run in the family.

Anyway, my way of saying....don't worry about age quite so much.
I don't colour my hair, the grey streaks are a dead giveaway, although it seems to confuse people more than anything because I don't have many wrinkles and I don't do "proper adult" style very much. With the ski helmet and the pigtails it's even harder to tell. Have briefly considered colouring my hair, would probably broaden my appeal. But you know what? That hair is part of me and I'm proud of it (and it looks damned good, I swear). Dyeing it would be hiding a part of who I am. I would do it only as a last resort. Hell, I'd probably get plastic surgery before I did that.

So yes, as long as meeting in real life, age isn't an issue, although close contact with colleagues in their 20s has made me realise that age/maturity usually makes for more interesting conversations. Online, it's more about 45 year old men writing that they are only interested in women aged 25-35. And the younger ones that I can never figure out if they're genuinely interested, out after a second mom our just making fun of mature women in a cruel way.
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  #142  
Old 27.02.2017, 13:18
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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I don't. Have been with Future-X for 22 years, and this is exactly the kind of stuff I missed out on. Have pobably only been to 3-4 concerts in that period...
Check out which bands are playing which festivals this year and buy your ticket. Call it immersion therapy. I've been to most of the UK festivals, except for Glastonbury, and went to Openair St.Gallen last year. First date with my OH was a John Butler Trio gig in Manchester, but that was because I bollocked him for going to Download without asking me. When my OH was single, he often went to gigs and festivals alone, including the 25th Anniversary of Woodstock. Some things are too good to miss just because you don't have anyone to go with, and you usually make friends when you're there.
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  #143  
Old 27.02.2017, 13:37
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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And the younger ones that I can never figure out if they're genuinely interested, out after a second mom our just making fun of mature women in a cruel way.
What did I tell you? My very closest friends, with only one exception, are a group of guys who are 10-14yrs younger than me (they're 38-42 and mostly musicians). I met the first one of them when we worked together back in 97, and because we have the same taste in music, he introduced my and my ex husband to his mates and we started going to gigs together. 20yrs later, after we've all been through several relationships, marriages, and my divorce together. I'm the big sister, godmother and confidante. The closest they ever get to 'making fun' of me is the usual "but your baby photos were in black & white" retort.

I'll tell you this much... When my marriage went for a ball of poop, it was my younger male friends who had my back every step of the way. Without exception, they went above and beyond what any woman can ask of a friendship. My close female friends are made up of their wives and ex-girlfriends.

So, if younger men are the ones who are approaching you, give them a break. You'll suss on the first lunch date who is genuinely looking for a mature woman and not a replacement mother figure.
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  #144  
Old 27.02.2017, 13:57
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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With the ski helmet and the pigtails ...

Online, it's more about 45 year old men writing that they are only interested in women aged 25-35.
With the ski helmet and the pigtails ... I like this! Where do i sign up for lessons!

..45 year old men writing that they are only interested in women aged 25-35.. Well that's likely to be a wishlist rather than a serious requirement.. Somebody who is just fishing.. Every 45 year guy would like 25yr eye candy.. For five minutes at least
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  #145  
Old 27.02.2017, 14:13
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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With the ski helmet and the pigtails ... I like this! Where do i sign up for lessons!

..45 year old men writing that they are only interested in women aged 25-35.. Well that's likely to be a wishlist rather than a serious requirement.. Somebody who is just fishing.. Every 45 year guy would like 25yr eye candy.. For five minutes at least
Of course I wear my hair in pigtails under my helmet, is there any other way!? But it does give me a Pippi Langstrumpf style. Thanks for the day's giggles anyway, although it reminded me that I overdid it at the gym this weekend; strange how laughter is hard on one's abs .

The proverbial wishlist. I also wonder how many of these guys get what they want, and how many who do are happy with what they get. But then again, if a 45 year old really wants a 25-35 yo partner, he's probably not interesting for me. In Norwegian they have this word, selvinnsikt, which isn't really translatable (google translate spews introspection): having sound knowledge and understanding of oneself. Probably a missing quality in a few of these guys. I like that word. And that quality.

I teach in the oldest private ski school in Zermatt in case anyone is interested in lessons (for real). PM me and I will arrange the booking, I get a few extra coins tossed at me if I bring in new business. Can teach in French, English, German (if I have to) and Scandinavian languages. Also did 2 days of lessons in Russian, but really, you don't want me teaching anyone in Russian.

Last edited by Trollemor; 27.02.2017 at 14:30.
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  #146  
Old 27.02.2017, 14:22
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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. In Norwegian they have this word, selvinnsikt, which isn't really translatable (google translate spews introspection): having sound knowledge and understanding of oneself. Probably a missing quality in a few of these guys. I like that word. And that quality.
In my language: zelfinzicht. Missing in a lot of People, but enough People do have that and for sure you´ll find one :-)
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  #147  
Old 27.02.2017, 14:33
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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Online, it's more about 45 year old men writing that they are only interested in women aged 25-35.
Actually, at 45 I avoided women under 40 when possible (the 35 year-old made me feel like a child molester ), but that was mainly because I wasn't interested in more kids, and women in their 30s with no kids are a ticking time bomb.

Tom
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  #148  
Old 27.02.2017, 14:36
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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.... But then again, if a 45 year old really wants a 25-35 yo partner, he's probably not interesting for me. In Norwegian they have this word, selvinnsikt, which isn't really translatable (google translate spews introspection): having sound knowledge and understanding of oneself. Probably a missing quality in a few of these guys. I like that word. And that quality.
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In my language: zelfinzicht. Missing in a lot of People, but enough People do have that and for sure you´ll find one :-)
And there are those who happily live with an age gap of 15-20 or how ever many years .... and that is perfectly okay too.
Okay, I admit, with them it was probably a coincidence and not a precondition.
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  #149  
Old 27.02.2017, 14:43
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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And there are those who happily live with an age gap of 15-20 or how ever many years .... and that is perfectly okay too.
Okay, I admit, with them it was probably a coincidence and not a precondition.
I fully agree with your last sentence. I myself have a friend who's with a woman over 20 years older than him, ans it was never part of his plans. Just happened.

I also know a guy who insists he's too youthful as a 40-year old to date anyone much older than 30. Did I mention he's never had a long term relationship? And another who's 42 and heavily into 20 year olds but his strategy is to change often, before he gets bored. (Experience from the oil industry = maybe I've listened on a few too many bar discussions for my own good...)
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  #150  
Old 27.02.2017, 14:51
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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Actually, at 45 I avoided women under 40 when possible (the 35 year-old made me feel like a child molester ), but that was mainly because I wasn't interested in more kids, and women in their 30s with no kids are a ticking time bomb.

Tom
You would probably have to move your limit to 45+ today, because with IVF...
I have an acquaintance who had her first at 42 and her second at 45. With husband nr 4.
Asking straight away if the woman is done having kids is also an option.
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  #151  
Old 27.02.2017, 15:15
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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I teach in the oldest private ski school in Zermatt in case anyone is interested in lessons (for real). PM me and I will arrange the booking, I get a few extra coins tossed at me if I bring in new business. Can teach in French, English, German (if I have to) and Scandinavian languages. Also did 2 days of lessons in Russian, but really, you don't want me teaching anyone in Russian.
I'd love to try Zermatt..and it's high time I did another lesson, my form was more crap than usual last few days. I like to do a day lesson each season, one of these years I'll be smart and do it at the beginning!
Just that Zermatt is twice as far as I usually go at 2.5hrs drive.

The week is young, who knows..
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  #152  
Old 27.02.2017, 15:30
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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I'd love to try Zermatt..and it's high time I did another lesson, my form was more crap than usual last few days. I like to do a day lesson each season, one of these years I'll be smart and do it at the beginning!
Just that Zermatt is twice as far as I usually go at 2.5hrs drive.

The week is young, who knows..
Fully booked this week I'm afraid, and in Zürich Friday evening. Back up in paradise between the 10th and the 12th depending on whether or not I get weekend bookings (and ski conditions ). After that I'm either there until the 23rd, or heading to Andorra to take my level 3. And back for the whole month of April, so Future-X can finish single-dad bootcamp dealing with the logistics of Frühlingsferien (I'm evil, I know).

Can't believe the season is almost over...
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  #153  
Old 27.02.2017, 15:59
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

I can do nothing to assist with your love life but here are some flowers.
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  #154  
Old 27.02.2017, 16:03
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I can do nothing to assist with your love life but here are some flowers.
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  #155  
Old 27.02.2017, 17:54
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Careful there, slammer, or you might start coming across as desperate.
Desperate? Me? Nevarrrr!
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  #156  
Old 27.02.2017, 18:52
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

Your 'type' and dating- saw this today and it made me laugh and think of this thread - 'game of clones' :

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-r...eams?CMP=fb_gu

Just love this thread- keep it going and good luck. I am 66 tomorrow and met my OH when I was 19 and we married at 20. Just can't imagine what it woud be like to start over now... although I have several friends who divorced or were widowed in their 60s and have found love again (although one was taken in big time by a gold and nationaltiy digger- and he got badly hurt in more ways than one. Just re-married again aged 69- all fingers crossed).

Just one question- pig tails in a ski helmet- ouch that must hurt, no ? Tally Ho and Bonne chance x
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  #157  
Old 27.02.2017, 19:04
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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Your 'type' and dating- saw this today and it made me laugh and think of this thread - 'game of clones' :

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-r...eams?CMP=fb_gu

Just love this thread- keep it going and good luck. I am 66 tomorrow and met my OH when I was 19 and we married at 20. Just can't imagine what it woud be like to start over now... although I have several friends who divorced or were widowed in their 60s and have found love again (although one was taken in big time by a gold and nationaltiy digger- and he got badly hurt in more ways than one. Just re-married again aged 69- all fingers crossed).

Just one question- pig tails in a ski helmet- ouch that must hurt, no ? Tally Ho and Bonne chance x
Game of Clones...

I have to admit that fear of solitude has played a role in us sticking together for so long. We do get along well, just not as a couple. Then this year we figured out that we were too old to keep pretending and too young to give up on life and just hang on to the marriage for the sake of it. We got close to splitting, and should definitely have split, 19 years ago, but we weren't mature enough to see it (and risk the furore of my family, to be honest). Then uni, travels and work got in the way and we didn't really think about it. When we had the Troll we more or less concluded that that was it and we might as well stick together. No regrets, but a thorough post-mortem shows a series of bad (non)decisions and an inappropriate use of willpower and perseverance. Sometimes you have to know when to give up and pull the plug.

Re. the pigtails: this is where I had to check with my friend google in case I didn't use the correct word, English being only mys econd language. Seems that pigtails is sometimes used for 2 braids, which is my favoured hairstyle for skiing, although I can also be observed with 2 low pigtails.

One of my friends on FB keeps commenting my culturally correct "Heidi" style.
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  #158  
Old 27.02.2017, 19:21
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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Just one question- pig tails in a ski helmet- ouch that must hurt, no ? Tally Ho and Bonne chance x
Apparently a cowboy hat is worn with pig tails.
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  #159  
Old 27.02.2017, 19:22
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

Interesting Piste.
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Old 27.02.2017, 19:23
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

ahaha aren't those plats?

Lost in translation perhaps. I am also a non native English speaker- but in the UK we always talked about pigtails as being 'high' pig tails- which would be quite painful under ski helmet. M'fraid that I belong to the generation of skiers that never wore a helmet (learnt to ski in early 50s - not mine... 1950s)- but we digress.
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