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Old 25.02.2017, 18:40
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Dating again in your 40s

Not shamefully, but somehow blushingly outing myself as single and clueless here... Decision was made about 6 months ago; we're getting along well though, and are still flatmates and drinking buddies.

I've read through the discussion on dating websites (last post in 2014), and it appears I should join the orders as my chances of meeting anyone interested in me probably is lower than me winning the lottery (and I don't even buy tickets). You see, I'm a 41 yo woman hence past my due date like an old milk carton (), I'm above 55 kg and I have a kid (but 50/50 shared custody)...

Given that I'm an atheist, the Carmel doesn't really appeal. So any recommended sites as of 2017?

I assuming I'm too old for Tinder and anyway I'm not sure it's the right site for someone like me who owns more Gore Tex and sports bras than regular clothes (I have some lacy stuff somewhere, but it's not practical for skiing ) and is mostly interested in outdoorsy types.

Have otherwise checked out OKCupid and Plenty of Fish. Future-X strongly support Parship.com as he met his current gf there; I'm not too keen, unlike him I'm not looking for a life-partner to move in and have more kids with. I'm not desperate to spend the rest of my life with another guy, I'd rather have a series of interesting relationships than a single sedate one.

Meeting in real life is difficult as of our friends are parents from the Troll's school. Some moms have already labelled me radioactive material now that I'm out of the closet as single. Besides, I've been with Future-X since I was 18, I missed out on "Flirting 101" (missed out on a lot actually, realising it now ). I'm moderately eloquent online, in real life I wouldn't be able to tell if a guy was interested unless he threw himself at me, and I myself have no talent whatsoever for the feminine arts of coquettishness and charm. But I'm willing to try, if the arena is right.

Am interested in advice from those of you in the more mature crowd that have gone back on the market and didn't get too traumatised in the process. Those whose contribution would be limited to writing that I'm too old and could only ever get losers can refrain from answering; I already know I'm 10 years too late to have a good shot at a second chance, but as a risk specialist I also know that there is an opportunity for returns as long as the probability is above 0% (which it is). Plus I was designed without a "giving up" function.
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Old 25.02.2017, 18:43
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

You're not too old for Tinder.

I know people using Swissfriends.
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Old 25.02.2017, 18:43
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

Come for dinner and I´ll introduce you to a lovely (single and male) friend of mine? (Feeling like a jiddische mama now)

A colleague of mine uses Parship I think
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Old 25.02.2017, 18:45
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

It's never too late...I'm sure if you try hard you will find what you are looking for...but prepare to dodge o lot of bullets along the way!!
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Old 25.02.2017, 18:48
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

this thread is useless without pictures
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Old 25.02.2017, 18:49
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

There is a big online dating thread on the forum with lots of posts. Search for it.
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Old 25.02.2017, 18:51
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

It's dead easy. Use any singles site you wish - better yet, use all of them!

Go to your bathroom and use the mirror to take a selfie, try to look as self conscious as possible. For extra points hold a hairbrush in your other hand.

Then create a profile and write some drivel about "stealing sheep" and "Gewisse Stunden".

Very, very few women use this secret formula, so you'll be snapped up in no time whatsoever.
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Old 25.02.2017, 18:55
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

eHarmony.

Pm me if you wish and will elaborate.

As the bumper sticker goes: be yourself, everyone else is taken.
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Old 25.02.2017, 18:57
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

No idea how he did it, but a friend who lost his wife to cancer started hiking with a group of other keen folk and found a soulmate. The two of them are now living very happily together...
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Old 25.02.2017, 19:15
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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No idea how he did it, but a friend who lost his wife to cancer started hiking with a group of other keen folk and found a soulmate. The two of them are now living very happily together...
Shared interests (hiking or whatever) are generally the best place to find something meaningful.
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Old 25.02.2017, 19:27
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

I started going out wit the women who became my wife when she was 53. We had previously met at school however had not seen each other in 38 years. It's never too late!

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Not shamefully, but somehow blushingly outing myself as single and clueless here... Decision was made about 6 months ago; we're getting along well though, and are still flatmates and drinking buddies.

I've read through the discussion on dating websites (last post in 2014), and it appears I should join the orders as my chances of meeting anyone interested in me probably is lower than me winning the lottery (and I don't even buy tickets). You see, I'm a 41 yo woman hence past my due date like an old milk carton (), I'm above 55 kg and I have a kid (but 50/50 shared custody)...

Given that I'm an atheist, the Carmel doesn't really appeal. So any recommended sites as of 2017?

I assuming I'm too old for Tinder and anyway I'm not sure it's the right site for someone like me who owns more Gore Tex and sports bras than regular clothes (I have some lacy stuff somewhere, but it's not practical for skiing ) and is mostly interested in outdoorsy types.

Have otherwise checked out OKCupid and Plenty of Fish. Future-X strongly support Parship.com as he met his current gf there; I'm not too keen, unlike him I'm not looking for a life-partner to move in and have more kids with. I'm not desperate to spend the rest of my life with another guy, I'd rather have a series of interesting relationships than a single sedate one.

Meeting in real life is difficult as of our friends are parents from the Troll's school. Some moms have already labelled me radioactive material now that I'm out of the closet as single. Besides, I've been with Future-X since I was 18, I missed out on "Flirting 101" (missed out on a lot actually, realising it now ). I'm moderately eloquent online, in real life I wouldn't be able to tell if a guy was interested unless he threw himself at me, and I myself have no talent whatsoever for the feminine arts of coquettishness and charm. But I'm willing to try, if the arena is right.

Am interested in advice from those of you in the more mature crowd that have gone back on the market and didn't get too traumatised in the process. Those whose contribution would be limited to writing that I'm too old and could only ever get losers can refrain from answering; I already know I'm 10 years too late to have a good shot at a second chance, but as a risk specialist I also know that there is an opportunity for returns as long as the probability is above 0% (which it is). Plus I was designed without a "giving up" function.
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Old 25.02.2017, 19:34
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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Come for dinner and I´ll introduce you to a lovely (single and male) friend of mine? (Feeling like a jiddische mama now)

A colleague of mine uses Parship I think
I'll gladly come to dinner, with or without the charming friend. Always out to meet new people.

Should I bring red or white wine?
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Old 25.02.2017, 19:36
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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this thread is useless without pictures
Nice try. Not that I'm paranoid about my anonymity on this forum, but that would be pushing it a bit, don't you think?


Last edited by Trollemor; 25.02.2017 at 19:36. Reason: Spelling
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Old 25.02.2017, 19:37
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

I just wanted to wish you well for the future, sounds like you and future-X are dealing with what could be a nasty situation well do far.

I'v noticed that friends who've been in your situation at a similar age find dates/partners in the strangest of places... from supermarkets to allotments, in several cases the trick seemed to be not actually looking but simply doing something you enjoy!
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Old 25.02.2017, 19:37
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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There is a big online dating thread on the forum with lots of posts. Search for it.
Read it. This is where I concluded the Carmel was the place to be...
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Old 25.02.2017, 20:00
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

Ski lift speed dating?
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Old 25.02.2017, 20:14
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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this thread is useless without pictures
Why, we all know trollemor ???
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Old 25.02.2017, 20:15
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

Ahem! Slammer clears his throat.
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Old 25.02.2017, 20:19
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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It's dead easy. Use any singles site you wish - better yet, use all of them!

Go to your bathroom and use the mirror to take a selfie, try to look as self conscious as possible. For extra points hold a hairbrush in your other hand.

Then create a profile and write some drivel about "stealing sheep" and "Gewisse Stunden".

Very, very few women use this secret formula, so you'll be snapped up in no time whatsoever.
You disappoint me JW
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Old 25.02.2017, 20:22
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Re: Dating again in your 40s

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You disappoint me JW
My knowledge may be out of date. 10 years ago it was the killer formula for 40 something women.
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