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View Poll Results: Can men and women just be friends?
I'm a woman - Yes 40 33.61%
I'm a woman - No 6 5.04%
I'm a man - Yes 47 39.50%
I'm a man - No 24 20.17%
Dunno 2 1.68%
Voters: 119. You may not vote on this poll

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  #141  
Old 17.09.2017, 13:59
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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No way! Never! Absolutely not!

They've all seen me at my absolute worst, and I've seen them worse than that. My closest mate of the group had the nickname 'Lover Boy' before he began dating his wife. That lad should have been a male model, he was so handsome. When I was having a wisdom tooth removed, he met me at the dentist's for my house keys. When I got home, he'd brought the duvet down onto the sofa, and set a side table up with a box of tissues, paracetemol, a mug of salted water and a coffee, then we spent all evening watching MTV until I fell asleep. That's the kind of stuff a real friend does.

From the first day I met that lad, I always knew he'd end up marrying the girl who's now his wife. He always thought she was out of his league. For 7 long years, I was his confidante through all his trials and tribulations over girlfriends until he got brave and asked 'The One' for a date. Another of the same group of friends took 12yrs to get the courage to date the girl he's now married to. I can't begin to count how many times we've stayed up all night talking about life, the universe and everything over a bottle of vodka.

You're really selling men short if you think they're all only after one thing. Having men as your closest friends is a privilege, and when they unanimously approve of your new man instead of saying he's a feckless **** and wanting to knock his light out, you know you've got it right.

All I can say to that is, you need some new male friends. Honestly.
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Mathematicians might be weird as shit, but they are decent people - the lowly mortals (with their social mores) don't even register on a mathematician's radar, talk about parallel universes.

Cath, I agree, too, that you need a new set of male and female friends. Or a different social code - it could be that your view is skewed and not that of your friends.
what you mean by 'new' male friends, ones that want to schtup me but have girlfriends and wives..? no thanks I don't need that sort of excitement in my life..

out of curiosity, jagwah and funny bone, are both of you single males looking for female mates?
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  #142  
Old 17.09.2017, 14:09
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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whoa...? And here i was thinking that both op and his uhm..friend have their own teeth.....

I think we need a new paw.
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  #143  
Old 17.09.2017, 14:25
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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out of curiosity, jagwah and funny bone, are both of you single males looking for female mates?
One of us is male.
One of us is single.
Neither of us are looking for mates.
Both of us have/had mates.
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  #144  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:05
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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what you mean by 'new' male friends, ones that want to schtup me but have girlfriends and wives..? no thanks I don't need that sort of excitement in my life..
Schtup! On second thoughts, I think you may not be able to have platonic male friends if that's how you think. Shame...
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  #145  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:10
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

Don't know about you, Jag...but I'm on this spectrum https://www.englishforum.ch/internat...-spectrum.html So sometimes male, sometimes female, mostly in between.

If "mates" means "friends", Cath, again, just for you, no schtupping is involved when it comes to friends. Of these, I don't have many in CH yet. If you mean "friends with benefits", well, then, those "friends" will be more than happy to scratch your itch. These "friends with benefits" have to be pretty special to get my attention. Satisfied with my answer?

Acquaintance over for a visit. No schtupping involved.
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  #146  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:11
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Schtup! On second thoughts, I think you may not be able to have platonic male friends if that's how you think. Shame...
Its just never happened, they've always wanted to schtup me.., married single.. it didn't matter, the end objective was always the same
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  #147  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:21
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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One of us is male.
One of us is single.
Neither of us are looking for mates.
Both of us have/had mates.
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Don't know about you, Jag...but I'm on this spectrum https://www.englishforum.ch/internat...-spectrum.html So sometimes male, sometimes female, mostly in between.

If "mates" means "friends", Cath, again, just for you, no schtupping is involved when it comes to friends. Of these, I don't have many in CH yet. If you mean "friends with benefits", well, then, those "friends" will be more than happy to scratch your itch. These "friends with benefits" have to be pretty special to get my attention. Satisfied with my answer?

Acquaintance over for a visit. No schtupping involved.
I asked about gender and marital status because it plays a role here imo

Single man saying he can be 'friends' is selling his own book. He wants to be 'friends' with women to make sure he has easy access when he decides which one he wants to schtup, or the woman has access to more female friend he might want to schtup the objective is always the same
female can be friends with a guy because she has other motives than sex.
so I'm guessing my theory still holds statistically in my small sample of participants..

This theory does offend a mysognist on here because i got a few red ones from them. I don't know why they'd get offended by the truth.
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  #148  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:23
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

Well, I learnt a new word

And from Karls other thread I take it he is losing two "friends", a tempting and an abominable one?
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  #149  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:28
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

Look at this carefully. If you are in a relationship or married and fancy opposite sex's friendship, be clear that it is for good reasons. There's element of fantasy that can be disastrous and mustn't be exploited.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...RRIED-man.html

If you wanna be friends make sure you know your boundaries.

Therefore no act of schtupping involved. Oh, what a word ...

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  #150  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:32
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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This theory does offend a mysognist on here because i got a few red ones from them. I don't know why they'd get offended by the truth.
That's possible but also consider that you just might be a misandrist.

misandrist
mɪˈsandrɪst/Submit
noun
1.
a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against men.
"the counterpart to a misogynist is a misandrist"
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  #151  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:40
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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I asked about gender and marital status because it plays a role here imo

Single man saying he can be 'friends' is selling his own book. He wants to be 'friends' with women to make sure he has easy access when he decides which one he wants to schtup, or the woman has access to more female friend he might want to schtup the objective is always the same
female can be friends with a guy because she has other motives than sex.
so I'm guessing my theory still holds statistically in my small sample of participants..

This theory does offend a mysognist on here because i got a few red ones from them. I don't know why they'd get offended by the truth.
Wow. That's not a theory, it's an assertion.

If it were a theory, and it were true, then that would mean I am not a man, which I indubitably am. Schtuping never was my central priority, and (believe it or not) I have turned more women who were interested in a schtup down/away than I've even remotely considered as a partner.

Your theory doesn't offend me, but it strikes me at least as ill considered if not just plain wrong. On the one hand if there were zero hetero men who were capable of being friends with women then... who would the women who are capable of being friends with men actually be friends with?

Some people mate for life, this isn't gender specific.
Some people don't regard sex as the be all and end all of life, or personal relationships.

Perhaps you're just hanging around with the wrong people.
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  #152  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:44
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

The glossary to this thread:

to schtup
mysoginist
misandrist

Pls provide more vocabulary!
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  #153  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:49
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Look at this carefully. If you are in a relationship or married and fancy opposite sex's friendship, be clear that it is for good reasons. There's element of fantasy that can be disastrous and mustn't be exploited.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...RRIED-man.html

If you wanna be friends make sure you know your boundaries.

Therefore no act of schtupping involved. Oh, what a word ...
Your article is about attraction. Friendships grow unobtrusively. I don't go out and chose people who I want to turn into friends. I wake up one morning - or realize in a situation that this person has become a really good friend.
And that takes time (call me Swiss for that last one, I don't care )

yeah, schtupping sounds .... not very appealing, does it? ROFL.
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  #154  
Old 17.09.2017, 15:54
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Your article is about attraction. Friendships grow unobtrusively. I don't go out and chose people who I want to turn into friends. I wake up one morning - or realize in a situation that this person has become a really good friend.
And that takes time (call me Swiss for that last one, I don't care )

yeah, schtupping sounds .... not very appealing, does it? ROFL.
Been in that shoes before. Better half's friends used to say "we wish we had somebody like your husband" (no self flattering just real case scenario). It makes you feel good at the first sight but ... hey we are not 15 y/o to believe in infatuation and there's a real life out there to deal with on daily basis without need for drama and excitement involved.

No elevator pitch or chitchat involved. Friendship has to be earned and cultivated over time. Swiss way is good way.

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  #155  
Old 17.09.2017, 17:50
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Its just never happened, they've always wanted to schtup me.., married single.. it didn't matter, the end objective was always the same
Gosh, you think very highly of yourself, don't you? Maybe they just schtup you because that's the vibe you give out!! Do you need sex so much?
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  #156  
Old 17.09.2017, 18:05
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Gosh, you think very highly of yourself, don't you? Maybe they just schtup you because that's the vibe you give out!! Do you need sex so much?
Well, those who think everyone wants to schtup (is this word REALLY gonna enter my vocabulary? ) them miss the opportunities for a good flirt. And nothing beats a real good, innocent flirt
Yes they exist.
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  #157  
Old 17.09.2017, 18:59
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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... hey we are not 15 y/o to believe in infatuation and there's a real life out there to deal with on daily basis without need for drama and excitement involved.

No elevator pitch or chitchat involved. Friendship has to be earned and cultivated over time. Swiss way is good way.
This. I liked this. And btw, it makes us feel good when our husbands are liked, just so you know. Women are vain lol.

@CatHarmony,

I think it's OK if you don't want male friends, your choice. We are all different.
But, be a bit careful when saying that friendship between women and men doesn't exist in general because it's not true. However, there is a time and a place for everything.
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Old 17.09.2017, 23:36
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Its just never happened, they've always wanted to schtup me.., married single.. it didn't matter, the end objective was always the same
Really, is that so.
And you would know that how, exactly? They all tell you: hey CathHarmony, all I want is to have sex with you and I don't give a damn about anything else?

You're probably part of that very particular group of women who seem to think that just because a man looks in their direction, all they want is to bed them.

They don't.

And you are either indeed misandrist or simply incredibly immature. Despite what you apparently think, what you are blabbing here is not "the truth".
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Old 18.09.2017, 00:00
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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This. I liked this. And btw, it makes us feel good when our husbands are liked, just so you know. Women are vain lol.

@CatHarmony,

I think it's OK if you don't want male friends, your choice. We are all different.
But, be a bit careful when saying that friendship between women and men doesn't exist in general because it's not true. However, there is a time and a place for everything.
I guess it works both ways to boost our inner ego and self esteem however short it can last, because if someone is happy in relationship, there's no need to ask for trouble by yielding to unrealistic temptations.

@CathHarmony
I can assure you that it is perfectly fine to be friends as long as we draw the lines and don't perceive ourself as opposite sex's object of lust and desire. I also think that such interaction with opposite sex is vital for understanding emotions, feelings and reactions to certain situations by being honest and open minded. In the long run, if two people are genuine and honest without strings attached, by discussing our family, social and professional problems, telling each other interesting stories and exchanging points of view, it may help in our personal lives. For instance, as a mate, I would be keen on listening to female colleague what's her point of view and how she interprets certain situations I face in my daily marriage and make it grow more robust. It's for mutual benefit that males and females can exchange their experiences. If you only spend time with your lads you don't get to view things from different angles.
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Old 18.09.2017, 01:58
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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I guess it works both ways to boost our inner ego and self esteem however short it can last, because if someone is happy in relationship, there's no need to ask for trouble by yielding to unrealistic temptations.
This is exactly the point. If someone is happy in a relationship the interest in people (of what ever sex) is simply the interest in people (and one better is interested in people, a relationsship should not stop one from living and socializing).

To me being attracted by an other guy was always a sign to take a good look at my relationship. And yes, it has lead to a split up in some cases - without actually leading to a new connection with the guy who actually made me alert of the state of my relationship.

I am a very sociable person and I love a good banter whether I'm in a relationship or not and actually my partners always enjoyed meeting the people I brought into our lives. But never once I wonder about an adultery. 'Cause if I do .... see above
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