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View Poll Results: Can men and women just be friends?
I'm a woman - Yes 40 33.61%
I'm a woman - No 6 5.04%
I'm a man - Yes 47 39.50%
I'm a man - No 24 20.17%
Dunno 2 1.68%
Voters: 119. You may not vote on this poll

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  #161  
Old 18.09.2017, 02:15
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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This is exactly the point. If someone is happy in a relationship the interest in people (of what ever sex) is simply the interest in people (and one better is interested in people, a relationsship should not stop one from living and socializing).

To me being attracted by an other guy was always a sign to take a good look at my relationship. And yes, it has lead to a split up in some cases - without actually leading to a new connection with the guy who actually made me alert of the state of my relationship.

I am a very sociable person and I love a good banter whether I'm in a relationship or not and actually my partners always enjoyed meeting the people I brought into our lives. But never once I wonder about an adultery. 'Cause if I do .... see above
When we were young and inexperienced then there's a hell break loose a norm. As we grow mature and understand the consequences, we calculate the pros and cons of every decision we make, feelings included. Self restraint - have a lunch with the most gorgeous opposite sex you have ever met in your life and try to think in category of another human being on par and enjoy the people. It doesn't have to be always chemistry at works. Intellectual and social aspect is just as valuable all the same.
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  #162  
Old 18.09.2017, 08:43
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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I can assure you that it is perfectly fine to be friends as long as we draw the lines and don't perceive ourself as opposite sex's object of lust and desire. I also think that such interaction with opposite sex is vital for understanding emotions, feelings and reactions to certain situations by being honest and open minded. In the long run, if two people are genuine and honest without strings attached, by discussing our family, social and professional problems, telling each other interesting stories and exchanging points of view, it may help in our personal lives. For instance, as a mate, I would be keen on listening to female colleague what's her point of view and how she interprets certain situations I face in my daily marriage and make it grow more robust. It's for mutual benefit that males and females can exchange their experiences. If you only spend time with your lads you don't get to view things from different angles.
That's nice. I have an old friend, I mean our history goes way, way back as we basically grew up together, who likes to talk with me about his personal life.
I don't know if I give the best advice or I "nail" it but all our discussions made me realise I also did some mistakes and when seen through someone (of the opposite gender) else's eyes they were indeed like - " what? Did it look like that? Yes, it probably did."
Very revealing, although not always very comfortable because his wife is also my friend now. I care about both of them almost equally now so I can't be detached, objective and all that. I probably give the worst advice lol.
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  #163  
Old 18.09.2017, 10:48
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

I really appreciate all the viewpoints from everyone. And each situation is different of course. In this particular one it just happens that we are both sort of "foodies"; we love to eat and try different cuisines, and there are lots of such restaurants around where we work, and neither of us belong to one of the established "lunch crowds" who always seem to go out together. We often bring something from home and eat together at the communal kitchen table in full view of the rest of the company (it's a small firm).

Actually, until we started doing this, we both felt kind of outcast, me because I am much older than most, and she because she is much younger than most. We are both Swiss on paper, but culturally we are not. It just so happens that she is gorgeous and we enjoy each others company. I have no contact with her outside of work. I don't even have or want her phone number any other personal contact information. It's just lunch and conversation in an otherwise boring office environment.
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  #164  
Old 18.09.2017, 11:30
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

Suddenly the OP sounds like...
Attached Thumbnails
can-man-woman-just-friends-a6925db6152d79ef7a12ea67b6b8bf80-funny-pics-funny-shit.jpg   can-man-woman-just-friends-05129c8ab183cd6408454638942493bf4507d6-wm.jpg  
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  #165  
Old 18.09.2017, 12:26
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

If I only knew that it was all about lunch then it should be a piece of cake.
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  #166  
Old 18.09.2017, 23:38
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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I really appreciate all the viewpoints from everyone. And each situation is different of course. In this particular one it just happens that we are both sort of "foodies"; we love to eat and try different cuisines, and there are lots of such restaurants around where we work, and neither of us belong to one of the established "lunch crowds" who always seem to go out together. We often bring something from home and eat together at the communal kitchen table in full view of the rest of the company (it's a small firm).

Actually, until we started doing this, we both felt kind of outcast, me because I am much older than most, and she because she is much younger than most. We are both Swiss on paper, but culturally we are not. It just so happens that she is gorgeous and we enjoy each others company. I have no contact with her outside of work. I don't even have or want her phone number any other personal contact information. It's just lunch and conversation in an otherwise boring office environment.
In an other post you said, you two sms and bitch about the nasty colleague.
If I were your wife, you'd be in deep shit now
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  #167  
Old 19.09.2017, 20:28
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

It's all good. I am happy to have provoked a thread with such lively responses. She is such a nice girl, went to lunch again with her today. I am now trying to get her to go on a date with my son!
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  #168  
Old 19.09.2017, 20:35
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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I am now trying to get her to go on a date with my son!
not sure about the best reaction. is it or or or ?
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  #169  
Old 19.09.2017, 21:05
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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It's all good. I am happy to have provoked a thread with such lively responses. She is such a nice girl, went to lunch again with her today. I am now trying to get her to go on a date with my son!
I can assure you that the last statement will provoke a whole new set of ideas pouring into this thread ...
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  #170  
Old 19.09.2017, 21:08
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

Mods, I would say, let's close this thread?
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  #171  
Old 19.09.2017, 21:22
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Mods, I would say, let's close this thread?
Why oh why? It's taking a right turn ... Besides that Friday is just around the corner.

Last edited by jacek; 19.09.2017 at 23:48.
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  #172  
Old 19.09.2017, 22:17
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

Look, I am trying to be nice and do the right thing, OK?
I am much older than her, but having her attention and admiration just makes going to an otherwise boring office that much more bearable. Give an old guy a break. There ain't many pleasures left to us at this point.
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  #173  
Old 19.09.2017, 22:22
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Look, I am trying to be nice and do the right thing, OK?
I am much older than her, but having her attention and admiration just makes going to an otherwise boring office that much more bearable. Give an old guy a break. There ain't many pleasures left to us at this point.
Dude you're 50 or something. You're not gonna die tomorrow.

Also, don't mistake friendliness with admiration Just saying... (yes speaking from experience )
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  #174  
Old 20.09.2017, 14:28
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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not sure about the best reaction. is it or or or ?
My reaction was...."man, you're a perv"..
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  #175  
Old 20.09.2017, 17:06
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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Look, I am trying to be nice and do the right thing, OK?
I am much older than her, but having her attention and admiration just makes going to an otherwise boring office that much more bearable. Give an old guy a break. There ain't many pleasures left to us at this point.
That is entirely in your head! The reason we say not to act on this is your marriage not your age. (Which also means you can decide ) But you might find out - as Samaire said - it's just friendlyness. Chances for that is .... 90%? LOL).
If you're that keen on having her in your family you could think of adopting instead of using your son like they did in ancient times.

Don't have this thread closed. A mind can't live on Trump-, antismoker-, racism- and the-Swiss-are-so-nasty/stupid/ignorant threads alone, you know?
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  #176  
Old 20.09.2017, 17:11
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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If you're that keen on having her in your family you could think of adopting instead of using your son like they did in ancient times.
Uhm, sort of Woody Allen and Soon-Yi kind of thing?
(sorry, couldn't help myself)
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  #177  
Old 20.09.2017, 17:42
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

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It's all good. I am happy to have provoked a thread with such lively responses. She is such a nice girl, went to lunch again with her today. I am now trying to get her to go on a date with my son!


You kinky little bugger, you.
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  #178  
Old 31.10.2017, 00:29
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

This thread has a whole new meaning to me. Tonight an old friend told me what a bad crush he had on me 11 years ago and about being angry that him being married made it impossible to act on it. The way I see it we're close friends.

So all the answers to Karls original post are here.
<<This is a vexing question that I have yet to find a satisfactory answer to. Can a woman and a man be "just friends"? I have been in all sorts of situations where I thought "yes"... then "No"... Does the sexual chemistry always get in the way? Or is it OK to be friends with a member of the opposite sex, knowing there is an attraction, but just not acting on it? Mutual chemistry makes for very interesting conversation. >>
Yes they can. The sexual chemistry does not necessarily get in the way (if the woman is as oblivious to it as I am at least LOL) and Karl take an example from my friend: Being married means don't act on it

I didn't dear ask him if he's over it, I want at least an other 11 years of fun, support and good talks

As to the last bit of Karls op, mutual chemistry, married men just don't trigger me. I better not start to wonder where we'd be today, if he wern't married.
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  #179  
Old 31.10.2017, 00:37
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

I guess he must be over it, otherwise he wouldnt have told you anything
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  #180  
Old 31.10.2017, 04:47
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Re: Can a man and a woman be just friends?

https://youtu.be/t6O0GtrDW70
Cover posted by a user who calls himself oldwarhorse1954.

If you can't bear to watch the whole thing... there's always the very last second of the video.
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