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Old 16.04.2018, 20:18
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Discipline - how do you keep it?

I have been known to be disciplined in achieving objectives be those on short term or long term and also have (or had) strong willpower. When I put my mind to it, I do it.


In the past 3 months, I have been rubbish at keeping the promises to myself and am struggling to get back the same discipline. These involve weekly to do lists which I am now constantly procrastinating, exercise and healthy eating which I seem to always postpone (tomorrow is a new day or stick to 2-3 days of exercise and then drop until the weekend), and other smaller stuff like people that I have to invite, an event I want to see, etc.


Out of desperation of trying and failing, I ended up here. What are your tips or tricks that you do to keep you disciplined? Does anyone have the magic wand?


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Old 16.04.2018, 20:30
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

No magic wand here, but having a buddy to go through the same ordeals (dieting, quitting smoke, etc.) can do wonders.
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Old 16.04.2018, 20:36
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

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Out of desperation of trying and failing, I ended up here. What are your tips or tricks that you do to keep you disciplined? Does anyone have the magic wand?

Exercise at the weekend - as soon as I get up (or after some uncooked porridge oats) if it's going to be more than an hour.

Leaving it until later in the day means invariably means it gets postponed as other things come up.
First thing means I get to see lots of wildlife too if I'm out running or cycling and there's no traffic.

As for lists, I'm great at making them too - I can make lists all day long.
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Old 16.04.2018, 20:54
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

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Exercise at the weekend - as soon as I get up (or after some uncooked porridge oats) if it's going to be more than an hour.

Leaving it until later in the day means invariably means it gets postponed as other things come up.
First thing means I get to see lots of wildlife too if I'm out running or cycling and there's no traffic.

As for lists, I'm great at making them too - I can make lists all day long.
This.

Do things early on the day, once the delaying begins the day is lost.
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Old 16.04.2018, 21:13
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

Go through those lists or mind-maps and decide whether there are some items you actually could ditch entirely. Sift through the items to try to work out why any of them make you groan or sigh. Be alert to any you don't enjoy, never have, because they bore you or drain your energy, because they harm you, because doing them doesn't actually contribute anything useful to your life or anyone else's, or because getting them done doesn't even at least prevent you from getting into some kind of trouble.

Do you really need to sort out your old photo collection and your old emails? Would it bring you pleasure to do so? Do you really want to visit Aunt Mary, or was it always just a dull duty? Do you have to read all the Russians, and Chaucer, or can you set yourself free from those, if you didn't like them anyway? How important is it to you, really, to be able to go on an three-day hike, to learn Chinese, to assemble an extra set of shelves for the workshop, to understand chemistry, maths, physics or modern art, to pass the next set of exams in your profession, to plant fresh herbs at home, to cook better, and to learn how to weld, or to become an expert on eBay or in investments?

If you devote your time, energy and money to any of these To Dos, what else will you no longer be able to do, or to do less or less well, or more or better?

In all cases, ask yourself what would the consequences be, good or bad, if you just didn't bother, not this year, not next decade, not ever before you died. Or if you were to master the thing right now, this month or year, either so as to never have to do it again, or so as to be faster and more effective each next time you have to face it.

I have found this sifting exercise, done very honestly, to be revealing.

Whenever I have faced up to the truth of what I should or could just Stop Doing, and could give myself permission to Strike It Off My List Forever, I've found this freed up my energy, and helped me to focus on getting on with the things that really are important, either because their consequences are very important, good or bad, or because they bring me, or someone else, joy.

Last edited by doropfiz; 16.04.2018 at 21:15. Reason: typo
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Old 16.04.2018, 21:46
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

Discipline is overrated (unless you are into BDSM).

Tom
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Old 16.04.2018, 21:54
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

You must set the goals for yourself and you must stay motivated for the long term, you have to reward yourself ,for example making trips (long haul) or visiting concerts.
Discipline is a basic task like being on time for the work you do, it is not rocket science, it is only the first step to achieve something that takes you further down the road.
I done so many trips to places , that i wanted to visit, every hassle for these trips was worth the effort.
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Old 16.04.2018, 22:30
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

Start early in the day with whatever you need to finish a.s.a.p.( answer mails, pay bills, fix appointments, finish assignments) etc.
In general, once you decide you have to do something, just do it don't postpone it for "when I'll be less tired", "when I'll have a sunny day" etc etc. We can always find excuses for procrastination.... I also found motivating to write down every task or plan I succeed to accomplish at the end of a day. It helps you to keep track of many things.
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Old 16.04.2018, 22:37
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

First of all you must stay away from things which make you addicted like games cellphones with a 12 mp cam and social apps cigaret cigar Alkohol etc
Only then you gave a clean head
A clean head is always ready to dream plan act and succeed
Reading is not an addiction

Do you have an addiction? Are you under control of a bad habit?
Discipline is torture in an addicted personality
A free mind needs no discipline
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Old 16.04.2018, 22:43
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

Keep it?

I've never had it!

Tom
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Old 16.04.2018, 23:15
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

Leave discipline to the monks.
Do the things you normally do and incorporate good habits into them. This way you don't have tasks. Healthy eating is especially easy, just avoid chores or "medicine time".
And I would ditch the checklists if they only make you feel bad, it's not like you forget what you really want to do anyway and the small stuff can be done pronto.
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Old 17.04.2018, 00:23
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

Sounds like the drill burned you out. How about giving in to that something telling you to just slow down..forget the lists for now. You will not become a person with no drive or direction. You may just need to question if all your goals are still valid, if that pace and constant achievements are in fact meaningful. Sometimes we lack motivations simply because we exhausted ourselves, or we actually no longer want those benchmark victorious moments...or because we do not know how to appreciate ourselves without all the medals. Willpower and self discipline can be a fight to 'earn' our own value for ourselves. It can also be disingenuous, a societal or parental dictate...or our anxities of absolutely needing to be that "established" or "successful" person. I think re-questioning our own discipline is healthy. Re-define. Then see if you are still dragging your feet.
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Old 17.04.2018, 00:25
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

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Leave discipline to the monks.
Do the things you normally do and incorporate good habits into them. This way you don't have tasks. Healthy eating is especially easy, just avoid chores or "medicine time".
And I would ditch the checklists if they only make you feel bad, it's not like you forget what you really want to do anyway and the small stuff can be done pronto.
Yes, this. Meerkat was faster.
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Old 17.04.2018, 06:14
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

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...
In the past 3 months, I have been rubbish at keeping the promises to myself and am struggling to get back the same discipline. These involve weekly to do lists which I am now constantly procrastinating, exercise and healthy eating which I seem to always postpone (tomorrow is a new day or stick to 2-3 days of exercise and then drop until the weekend), and other smaller stuff like people that I have to invite, an event I want to see, etc.
...
What changed 3 months ago?

If your discipline was for something external (a job, life partner, parent, child) and they disappear, then this often takes your motivation with it.
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Old 17.04.2018, 07:11
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

Give up or limir all your distractions for a while, till it becomes a habit. Bt addictions I mean social networks, internet surfing, games, checking whatsapp every 2.5 mins and lurking EF, of course. Then read a good book with clean head.

E.g. Cal Newport - Deep Work
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Old 17.04.2018, 09:01
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

I often give chores a time limit (I'll clean my office for one hour starting now). Like this I can always see "the end of the tunnel", which makes boring thimgs a lot easier, and sometimes, when I am at it anyway, I'll just finish the chore

Another thing I use is getting rewarded with something of higher value as in "I really want to start that fascinating new project, but first I have to clean my office".

Kind of like being my own parent
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Old 17.04.2018, 09:26
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

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I have been known to be disciplined in achieving objectives be those on short term or long term and also have (or had) strong willpower. When I put my mind to it, I do it.


In the past 3 months, I have been rubbish at keeping the promises to myself and am struggling to get back the same discipline. These involve weekly to do lists which I am now constantly procrastinating, exercise and healthy eating which I seem to always postpone (tomorrow is a new day or stick to 2-3 days of exercise and then drop until the weekend), and other smaller stuff like people that I have to invite, an event I want to see, etc.


Out of desperation of trying and failing, I ended up here. What are your tips or tricks that you do to keep you disciplined? Does anyone have the magic wand?


Thanks
Put to yourself not big goals, but instead put a lot of small goals to achieve during the day that will make that big goal...

For example, in the Army the first thing that they force you to do when the day starts is to make your own bed, that will bring you a certain satisfaction that at least you completed something during the day, and from there on, you will be encouraged to keep accomplishing stuff
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Old 17.04.2018, 10:12
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

Change your viewpoint.

At the end of the day, it comes down to priorities, enjoyment and, to an extent, habit. If you don't like doing certain things, you'll never be disciplined about them or rather they will always feel like a nuisance. If you have to force yourself to exercise, you're choosing the wrong type of exercise. Find something you have fun doing and you won't have to force yourself to do it. If you find you have to force yourself to eat healthily, experiment with different types of cooking until you find something you indeed like.

Lastly, I don't have a single checklist for anything and I still typically get quite a bit of stuff done. Again, it's about what you really enjoy or rather how to transfer things you think you should be doing into something you actually like doing, even if that looks different than you once thought. Everything that feels like a chore will always be a chore.

For example: yes it's not fun to clean the kitchen. But I do like a clean kitchen. So for me, cleaning the kitchen doesn't feel like a chore - I simply want the outcome that cleaning the kitchen gives me and I wouldn't be happy with not cleaning it (I've never used the word "clean" so much in one go). So I don't have to force myself to be disciplined about doing that, not really anyway.

Or: I hate exercising in a gym or running. But I do love swimming. After forcing myself for years to find enjoyment in exercising on some stupid elliptical trainer at some stupid gym, I simply accepted that I will never have fun doing this, experimented with a whole bunch of alternatives, and settled on swimming (should've known as I was a competitive swimmer as a kid/teen). That type of exercise doesn't feel like something I need to be particularly disciplined about or force myself to do or check it off some list.
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Old 17.04.2018, 10:27
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

You may, or may not, find Tim Urban's TED talk "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator" useful/amusing...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU

I find most TED talks intensely irritating, but this one is fun.

Last edited by FrankZappa; 17.04.2018 at 10:33. Reason: Corrected the link
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Old 17.04.2018, 11:03
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Re: Discipline - how do you keep it?

You seem to promise yourself things you don't really want

I also have times I'm great at procrastinating. But not only I always get things done right before the deadline, I also handle them in much less time/much more efficiently when I finally get to do them at the last minute. Which means I actually save a lot of time by procrasinating (unless of course I beat myself up about it for an hour a day before d-day )

I absolutely love my to-do-lists. It's such a joy to cross things off them. But it is also amazing the amount of (other) things you get done just because you want to avoid the ones on the list! And that should not be overlooked.

Let me refer to your avatar: You can only please one person a day? Well, if you want to please other people every now and then, then don't be upset if "today is not your day"
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