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  #41  
Old 11.07.2018, 16:17
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

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So much hypocrisy.

Induce a girl to get drunk or intoxicated is disrespectful, nasty, and a crime. Suggesting her some drinks to the point she gets "happy" is not a problem whatsoever!

The guys who criticized me are probably 40-year olds white belts, the women who did it, well, they probably like to drink.
It's ironic how you attempt to project some alt-right persona that you've picked up on the internet, as being a 'real man' and not some 'white belt' ( ??). - but it turns out that you have to resort to sneakily getting girls wasted so that you can take advantage of them. So manly

Wait a minute- you're only about 12 years old, aren't you?!

Doggone internet!
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  #42  
Old 11.07.2018, 16:34
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

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You say that like it's not the same thing


[joke]

Haha, yeah, I get the sarcasm. In some men's mind could be the same thing, that's why we have things like #MeToo...I'm glad that when I was very young and single I hang out with nerds who wouldn't even considered these "techniques". I think I had a pretty good instinct to stay away from trouble. But seriously, I'd show this message to my kids when they'll be old enough to understand it.
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  #43  
Old 14.07.2018, 08:28
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

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I had a more than 2 years relationship that went astray and I know there is little hope in making it work. I need to do something to stop thinking about her or how to fix it or stop thinking about the past and the mistakes I did or might have done etc. All these thoughts are making me crazy. She cut all contact and so did I. Yes I have some dignity and self-respect and know well how much worse it can get when you start insisting to get her back with texting, calling etc. it just never works.

What can I do in Zurich to feel better, fill my time and get over this relationship faster besides going to a counselor? things that have crossed my mind:
  • Socializing but I'm not the most social type, rather picky with people and friends
  • Partying not really, maybe one or two times going out per month
  • Tinder? time-wasting, tried it in the past and makes me depressed
  • Discussion groups?

I'm also not working at the moment so have more time and it is the worst because I think about her all the time.
Things end for a reason, it is not always obvious when in a state of emotional distress. Keep yourself occupied until you create enough perspective to start seeing the reason and start seeing how you can grow from it..

I admire the act of reaching out, it is a good start, maybe a few events organized here would help? Keeping company, distract.

If things hurt a lot, it tells you something about your needs, your investments. Not necessarily anything about the person you fell for.
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  #44  
Old 14.07.2018, 09:01
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

Go for salsa classes ... recovery will be pretty quick ...
Climbing is also a good idea, as long as you are not suicidal.

Once your brain transforms this situation from a sad thing into an opportunity , all will be fine

Last edited by climb63; 14.07.2018 at 09:41.
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  #45  
Old 14.07.2018, 09:41
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

In truth there's nothing to do.
Nothing fills the void, except time.

And it's filling the hours, the days while waiting for the pain to ease that is the difficult part.

But it does happen.

I really appreciated DB's sincere and simple description. Summed it up.

*******

We do live in a beautiful rather conservative quiet country where, though loving relationships may be found, the opportunities and events to find these possible relationships are few and far between.

In that respect Anglo-Saxon countries seems to favour fun-loving events.
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  #46  
Old 14.07.2018, 09:46
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

Ride a horse.
You'll meet plenty of ladies.
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  #47  
Old 14.07.2018, 09:46
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

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It's ironic how you attempt to project some alt-right persona that you've picked up on the internet, as being a 'real man' and not some 'white belt' ( ??). - but it turns out that you have to resort to sneakily getting girls wasted so that you can take advantage of them. So manly

Wait a minute- you're only about 12 years old, aren't you?!

Doggone internet!
"alt-right persona", "getting girls wasted so that you can take advantage of them"

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  #48  
Old 14.07.2018, 10:02
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

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Ride a horse.
You'll meet plenty of ladies.
There's distraction and fun (I recommend) and then there's immediately galloping for a new attachment (not recommended).

I did like your plan, though, it is true. Or Krav Maga, ton of girls in our team. Although, it can be a bit unsexy for some, slobbery mouthguards and all.

Last edited by MusicChick; 14.07.2018 at 10:20.
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  #49  
Old 14.07.2018, 10:28
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

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Here are my 2 Rappen.

Learn to be happy by yourself. Your life is yours.
You're not here just to meet someone, fall in love, have kids, get married, grow old and die.
You are here to experience life. These should be part of life, not the entirety of it.

Find out what you want. What makes you happy? What your passions are?
If you are not sure, start exploring. Figure it out.

Eventually, either by chance or through trial and error, you'll find what makes you happy.
And make sure its not just being with another person.


You don't need to be a social butterfly.
Go out, meet people, find some like-minded souls and build a friend circle you can rely on for company and banter.

Parties are fun for a while. Eventually the novelty wears off and you cannot bear the pretense anymore.
It's like drugs, it'll be awesome in the beginning, but eventually it'll do more harm than good.

I don't mean to speak for anyone else, but I think no self-respecting person should be on tinder.
Hook-up with people in real life, if that's what you're after.

As long as they have beer, could be fun. Seriously though, if are someone who likes intellectual stimulation, they could work.

Be responsible for your own happiness.
Don't put it in anyone else's hands. They'll drop it.
Every. Single. Time.

Good Luck!

PS: Most evenings at the British Cheese Center in Markthalle Viadukt.
Fantastic post....! You got it in a nutshell....!
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  #50  
Old 19.07.2018, 06:47
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

[QUOTE=st2lemans;2965889]Buy a motorcycle.

Tom[/QUOTE

Agreed! You can start with an used roller for under 1500-2000.
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  #51  
Old 19.07.2018, 07:10
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

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I had a more than 2 years relationship that went astray and I know there is little hope in making it work. I need to do something to stop thinking about her or how to fix it or stop thinking about the past and the mistakes I did or might have done etc. All these thoughts are making me crazy. She cut all contact and so did I. Yes I have some dignity and self-respect and know well how much worse it can get when you start insisting to get her back with texting, calling etc. it just never works.

What can I do in Zurich to feel better, fill my time and get over this relationship faster besides going to a counselor? things that have crossed my mind:
  • Socializing but I'm not the most social type, rather picky with people and friends
  • Partying not really, maybe one or two times going out per month
  • Tinder? time-wasting, tried it in the past and makes me depressed
  • Discussion groups?

I'm also not working at the moment so have more time and it is the worst because I think about her all the time.
Well being in waste land Zürich does not help. Go to a vibrant city for a holiday and move on.
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  #52  
Old 19.07.2018, 07:58
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Re: Heartbroken and more less alone in ZH, how to cope?

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Well being in waste land Zürich does not help. Go to a vibrant city for a holiday and move on.
Don't confuse Zurich for a waste land just because you have no social life or happiness here. Plenty of us think it is awesome.
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