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Old 26.09.2018, 13:44
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Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

Just noticed a general lack of empathy and borderline disrespectful reactions when our little one is misbehaving publicly (the usual children's tantrums).

These reactions vary from just laughing at you (loudly) to covering ears (in an attempt to shame you).

A friend of mine experienced someone holding his kid to make him stop running in a restaurant.

Anyone here has similar experiences? It happened more than once so I don't think it's a coincidence....
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Old 26.09.2018, 13:49
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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...

A friend of mine experienced someone holding his kid to make him stop running in a restaurant.
...
What's wrong with providing kids with basic behavioral rules?

As a guest, I personally do not enjoy the fact of having kids running around and screaming in a restaurant.
As a father, I try to not to annoy other people with my little one screams when I am in public places.
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Old 26.09.2018, 13:51
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

Firstly, I wouldn't assume everyone is Swiss. I was once tutted at by (probably?) a tourist who said a bit too loudly to her husband in an American accent "These Swiss brats don't know how to behave" when my son was bawling his eyes out having just fallen off his scooter in a park.

Secondly, the reactions are usually mixed anyway. If you are in a spot with loads of families, you pick up sympathy and knowing looks plus, if you're me, you look at the commotion and think "Good luck, missus. Thank f-ok it's not me this time!"

If you're in the middle of the banking district / commuter train full of stressed out and tired office people and you're hoping for a "Aw, isn't he sweet with all that snot and tears!" kind of reaction, you are probably going to be disappointed.
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Old 26.09.2018, 13:53
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

I have experienced nothing but indulgence, kindness and helpfulness while out and about with our children.

But we don't live in Zurich, so...
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Old 26.09.2018, 14:02
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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borderline disrespectful reactions when our little one is misbehaving publicly
Depending on the actual type of misbehaviour, you are expected to teach your kids basic manners and not allow them to run riot interfering with others enjoyment of a public place and YOU are the one showing disrespect by allowing it to continue unabated.

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A friend of mine experienced someone holding his kid to make him stop running in a restaurant.
The question is why was he not the one sorting this issue out!

And yes I have children, so I know all about it. There are some things you can do nothing about, but allowing a child to run around a restaurant disturbing other people is not one of them.
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Old 26.09.2018, 14:02
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

When my kid starts running around in a restaurant I will make him sit down or we simply leave or I take him out for some time so he can calm down. And I expect other parents to do the same or else they should go to Mc Donalds.
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Old 26.09.2018, 14:05
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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Just noticed a general lack of empathy and borderline disrespectful reactions when our little one is misbehaving publicly (the usual children's tantrums).

These reactions vary from just laughing at you (loudly) to covering ears (in an attempt to shame you).

A friend of mine experienced someone holding his kid to make him stop running in a restaurant.

Anyone here has similar experiences? It happened more than once so I don't think it's a coincidence....

This is just basic politeness and common sense, no child should EVER be running in a restaurant.
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Old 26.09.2018, 14:14
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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This is just basic politeness and common sense, no child should EVER be running in a restaurant.
This.
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Old 26.09.2018, 14:21
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

I would need more details on that:

- just laughing at you (loudly)
- covering ears (in an attempt to shame you)

What are the little one doing?
What you are doing?
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Old 26.09.2018, 15:18
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Interesting responses so far..

As for the patronizing remarks, I wouldn't be so quick to judge, give us troubled parents at least the benefit of the doubt If you never had your kids crying/screaming in a public place, congrats. Not my case, and not for lack of education at home.

As for the "kid running in a restaurant" event, let me be a bit more clear to what I would expect

situation: children running amok in a restaurant, and you're annoyed. Fair enough.
acceptable option 1: you complain to the restaurant waiter and/or manager
acceptable option 2: you complain to the kid's parents
not acceptable: you trying to educate other's peoples kids by holding them still and being mad at them.

Sandgrounder - good point. I shouldn't have been so quick in judging they were all Swiss. Maybe they weren't!

Last edited by 3Wishes; 26.09.2018 at 21:24. Reason: merging consecutive replies
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Old 26.09.2018, 15:25
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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not acceptable: you trying to educate other's peoples kids by holding them still and being mad at them.
Would I be the only one hiding behind a menu secretly pleased that someone else is being the bad cop for once..?

Sometimes* I found that saying to my son "You see that man/woman/policeman/shopkeeper over there? He's looking very angry at you at the moment so if I were you I'd stop screaming/running around/picking your nose" was more effective than me telling him to stop as a direct request.

*I say "sometimes" as in "not relying on it as a main parenting technique", obvs, before anyone gets their dander up...
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Old 26.09.2018, 15:26
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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situation: children running amok in a restaurant, and you're annoyed. Fair enough.
acceptable option 1: you complain to the restaurant waiter and/or manager
acceptable option 2: you complain to the kid's parents
not acceptable: you trying to educate other's peoples kids by holding them still and being mad at them.
Sorry, I misread/misunderstood your sentence in your opening post.
I would never hold someone else kid, regardless of the behavior, nor I would like someone to hold my kid in any case.

Also - the fact that I try to keep my little one silent doesn't imply I always manage to do it, but that should at least be the direction...
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Old 26.09.2018, 15:33
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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This is just basic politeness and common sense, no child should EVER be running in a restaurant.
Exactly, you want to eat in peace...


you even paid a fortune for that! xD
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Old 26.09.2018, 15:34
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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Sorry, I misread/misunderstood your sentence in your opening post.
I would never hold someone else kid, regardless of the behavior, nor I would like someone to hold my kid in any case.
Somebody has to stop the kid from running, if it ain't the parents than somebody else should do their job. Could be me, could be a waiter.
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Old 26.09.2018, 15:39
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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situation: children running amok in a restaurant, and you're annoyed. Fair enough.
acceptable option 1: you complain to the restaurant waiter and/or manager
acceptable option 2: you complain to the kid's parents
not acceptable: you trying to educate other's peoples kids by holding them still and being mad at them.
nobody would go for that option unless the children are extremely annoying. your friend should look in the mirror instead of complain.

oh yes, I'm a parent myself and this has never happened to me.
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Old 26.09.2018, 15:40
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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Somebody has to stop the kid from running, if it ain't the parents than somebody else should do their job. Could be me, could be a waiter.
Do not agree, sorry. Only parents should be responsible to "do their job": if they are not able, for whatever reason, then it's a different problem and conversation that needs to happen.

I mean, would you want me to "educate" your kids?
Obviously yes, because I am great, but you get the point, right?
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Old 26.09.2018, 15:56
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

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Do not agree, sorry. Only parents should be responsible to "do their job": if they are not able, for whatever reason, then it's a different problem and conversation that needs to happen.

I mean, would you want me to "educate" your kids?
Obviously yes, because I am great, but you get the point, right?
Well the kid is running, so clearly the parents are not doing their job.

Also I do not need you to educate my kids because in contrary to parents who let their kid run in a restaurant I do educate my kids that this is a no go.
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Old 26.09.2018, 16:00
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

IMHO it is not the kids to blame, it is not me to blame, so it must be you. Teach your kids to behave or leave them at home. Or don't go out.
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Old 26.09.2018, 16:07
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

I would never grab a disruptive kid in a restaurant, but I might surrupticiously stick my foot out and trip the little shit up.
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Old 26.09.2018, 16:13
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Re: Swiss reactions to children misbehaving in public

I have occasionally moved seats on public transport when a kid is particularly loud. Most of the time I live with it, occasionally I probably looked restless.

Maybe some people are "disrespectful" as you say. In my case, it does not mean that that I am disrespectful - i understand that young kids can sometimes be unruly, cry, and be loud - and I also understand how this might be for parents - however, some kids are just super loud and it can be annoying. It's just one of those things, but don't expect every person to give you a knowing and affectionate smile, and don't take every reaction as a sign of disrespect.

Probably better to take reasonable measures to get them to behave in public, and don't let it get to you too much if and when they don't or it gets peoples backs up.

The only exception to this which might bother me is when it's clear that a parent thinks that their kid represents the second coming of christ, no matter how badly they behave. If they constantly ran past my table in a restaurant that would potentially annoy me a lot - Although even then, I wouldn't restrain someone elses kid!


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Just noticed a general lack of empathy and borderline disrespectful reactions when our little one is misbehaving publicly (the usual children's tantrums).

These reactions vary from just laughing at you (loudly) to covering ears (in an attempt to shame you).

A friend of mine experienced someone holding his kid to make him stop running in a restaurant.

Anyone here has similar experiences? It happened more than once so I don't think it's a coincidence....
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Last edited by krlock3; 26.09.2018 at 16:36.
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