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Old 14.11.2018, 12:31
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Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

Hi guys.
I am an EU-2 country citizen and I have been living in Switzerland since 2010. I have a B permit.
I came here as an Au Pair (for 2 yrs) and then I married my husband.
Well, after 6 yrs of marriage (I actually realised some things earlier but you know „Love is blind“), I finally made the decision that I want to divorce him.
He has been emotionally abusing me for most of our marriage and I am kind of done with this now.
But whenever I tell him I will divorce him or that I want to leave, he says that I will lose my permit and that he will tell the Police that I married him for the papers (completely not true).
I have an appointment with a lawyer next Tuesday and I want to see if I should mention the abusing part to the lawyer. I mean, is there any special rule for abused spouses so that they don’t lose their right to stay in Switzerland? I have a job and some money in the bank.
PS: theoretically I should receive my C permit in 2 yrs but I don’t know if my Au Pair years count or not.
Thank you for any info/advice
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Old 14.11.2018, 12:40
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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Hi guys.
I am an EU-2 country citizen and I have been living in Switzerland since 2010. I have a B permit.
I came here as an Au Pair (for 2 yrs) and then I married my husband.
Well, after 6 yrs of marriage (I actually realised some things earlier but you know „Love is blind“), I finally made the decision that I want to divorce him.
He has been emotionally abusing me for most of our marriage and I am kind of done with this now.
But whenever I tell him I will divorce him or that I want to leave, he says that I will lose my permit and that he will tell the Police that I married him for the papers (completely not true).
I have an appointment with a lawyer next Tuesday and I want to see if I should mention the abusing part to the lawyer. I mean, is there any special rule for abused spouses so that they don’t lose their right to stay in Switzerland? I have a job and some money in the bank.
PS: theoretically I should receive my C permit in 2 yrs but I don’t know if my Au Pair years count or not.
Thank you for any info/advice
How can you prove that he emotionally abused you? Did you ever report it? Otherwise it is just your word against his.
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Old 14.11.2018, 12:53
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

Something does not add up. Why are you still on permit B and not permit C? There are no obvious grounds that permit C would have been denied.

Applying for a C permit but I didn't work 5yrs nonstop

https://ma.zh.ch/internet/sicherheit...lligung_IW.pdf

Last edited by aSwissInTheUS; 14.11.2018 at 13:12.
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Old 14.11.2018, 12:53
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

https://www.ch.ch/en/right-to-reside...th-or-divorce/
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Old 14.11.2018, 13:29
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How can you prove that he emotionally abused you? Did you ever report it? Otherwise it is just your word against his.
I did not report it. I only found out a few weeks ago that I can report it anonymously.
I have proof- on paper and messages.

Yes, I already read that but as I am from EU-2 things are actually slightly different than what they write there.

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Something does not add up. Why are you still on permit B and not permit C? There are no obvious grounds that permit C would have been denied.

Applying for a C permit but I didn't work 5yrs nonstop

https://ma.zh.ch/internet/sicherheit...lligung_IW.pdf
Actually there are some reasons:
1. I am an EU-2 citizen and rules are different for us
2. My husband wasn‘t Swiss when we got married. He is Swiss now
3. I can’t apply for the „C permit based on integration special rule“ because I have a gap in my employment history and they want you to have a 5 yrs continuous work

Last edited by 3Wishes; 14.11.2018 at 23:08. Reason: merging consecutive replies
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Old 14.11.2018, 13:39
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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Actually there are some reasons:
1. I am an EU-2 citizen and rules are different for us
2. My husband wasn‘t Swiss when we got married. He is Swiss now
3. I can’t apply for the „C permit based on integration special rule“ because I have a gap in my employment history and they want you to have a 5 yrs continuous work
1. Yes, but only till 1 June 2019, and not regarding permit C.
2. He had a permit C at time of marriage, right?
3. Why apply on lesser grounds (integration) when you have/had better claims (stable marriage to permit C holder)?

Did you follow this advice?
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When your B renewal form comes in the mail, write on it (in German) that you'd like to apply for the C, and ask them to please send you the list of required documents. Then wait and see what paperwork is needed before you send stacks of things they don't need and that frankly, aren't their business.
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Old 14.11.2018, 13:44
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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1. Yes, but only till 1 June 2019, and not regarding permit C.
2. He had a permit C at time of marriage, right?
3. Why apply on lesser grounds (integration) when you have/had better claims (stable marriage to permit C holder)?
Yes, he was born here. He had the C.
Again, rules are different for me and have been for years already.
I only want to know if I should ask my lawyer about any other special rules that could apply to me
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Old 14.11.2018, 13:49
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

I am so sorry you are going through this, and sadly have no practical advice... apart that it might be a good idea to change your EF name, for more credibility.
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Old 14.11.2018, 13:55
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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Again, rules are different for me and have been for years already.
No, the rules to get C based on marriage with a person which has a C at time of marriage are the same for all person regardless of their nationality.

I can just link to the cantons Zurich detailed explanation once again:
https://ma.zh.ch/internet/sicherheit...lligung_IW.pdf

I do not know how stable your martial circumstances are. Depending on that you should:
- Apply for C based on marriage and sit it out a bit. Best at least till 1 June 2019 to have a backup plan.
- Wait till 1 June 2019, which means the same rules apply for EU-2 as the rest of the EU (no more permit quotas).
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Last edited by aSwissInTheUS; 14.11.2018 at 14:39. Reason: Added missing 'know'
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:12
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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.....
I have an appointment with a lawyer next Tuesday and I want to see if I should mention the abusing part to the lawyer. I mean, is there any special rule for abused spouses so that they don’t lose their right to stay in Switzerland?
Yes of course you should mention it to your lawyer. And they will have the answers as well (or find them for you).

In general "question of fault" is not subject in divorce cases. Re. permits after marriage it might be different.
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:22
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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In general "question of fault" is not subject in divorce cases.
The only question I have is was the OP a MooodyCow before they got married.
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:27
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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The only question I have is was the OP a MooodyCow before they got married.
Are you usually an ass?
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:40
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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Are you usually an ass?
Hmmmm, this emotional abuse thing might not work.
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:46
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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I am so sorry you are going through this, and sadly have no practical advice... apart that it might be a good idea to change your EF name, for more credibility.
Lol, then probably Abusedwife would help OP in any way, form or shape. Wow, Odile.

Seriously, these stupid user names are not taken so seriously by everyone. Where is that compassion for people who're going through rough periods that we were talking about the other day?
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:51
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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he was born here
That is totally irrelevant.

Tom
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:52
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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I am so sorry you are going through this, and sadly have no practical advice... apart that it might be a good idea to change your EF name, for more credibility.
I am not going to change my name for „credibility“
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:56
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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I am not going to change my name for „credibility“
Read again what SwissintheUS wrote, he's the best adviser in regards with legal stuff. You don't need any permit starting with the next year (actually you do, but it's just a formality if you have a job etc.). Whether you will have a C permit or not it is not important. It will come when it will come, you won't be kicked out from here.

You have a lawyer. Looking for answers here won't bring you more than you already got or more than your lawyer will tell you. In another thread you said something about depression. If you still have these issues maybe it's not the best idea to stick around a forum where you don't get the humour or people seem a bit too rough. Take care.
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Old 14.11.2018, 14:57
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

Sorry you're going through this, and wish you plenty of strength. Since you already have an appointment with a lawyer, my only piece of advice would be wait until then and bring along all relevant documentation, including evidence of abuse, and decide on a strategy with them.
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Old 14.11.2018, 15:06
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Read again what SwissintheUS wrote, he's the best adviser in regards with legal stuff. You don't need any permit starting with the next year (actually you do, but it's just a formality if you have a job etc.). Whether you will have a C permit or not it is not important. It will come when it will come, you won't be kicked out from here.

You have a lawyer. Looking for answers here won't bring you more than you already got or more than your lawyer will tell you. In another thread you said something about depression. If you still have these issues maybe it's not the best idea to stick around a forum where you don't get the humour or people seem a bit too rough. Take care.
Multumesc. This is why I hired a lawyer- to find some answers and I already have a list of question to ask her.
I asked here because I was hoping that somebody else in my situation will give me some advice on what should I do next (I already have a plan in mind) or maybe they will tell me what to ask my lawyer (something that I didn’t think about yet). And apart from a few serious answers here, I see that this forum is ruled by bullies.

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Sorry you're going through this, and wish you plenty of strength. Since you already have an appointment with a lawyer, my only piece of advice would be wait until then and bring along all relevant documentation, including evidence of abuse, and decide on a strategy with them.
Thank you 😊. Yes, I will take everything with me. And this was my initial concern- if I should dare mentioning the abuse or not. One friend told me to mention it, one friend said that it won’t make any difference. So I was hoping for someone in my situation (which is a very stressful situation) to give me some advice, any advice.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 14.11.2018 at 23:11. Reason: merging consecutive replies
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Old 14.11.2018, 15:13
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Re: Emotional abuse from husband and permit situation

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Multumesc. This is why I hired a lawyer- to find some answers and I already have a list of question to ask her.
I asked here because I was hoping that somebody else in my situation will give me some advice on what should I do next (I already have a plan in mind) or maybe they will tell me what to ask my lawyer (something that I didn’t think about yet). And apart from a few serious answers here, I see that this forum is ruled by bullies.
This thread so far went from Today, 11:31 until Today, 14:06:
<<I see that this forum is ruled by bullies>>
A woman of quick decisions.

Let's hope the husband signs up soon and we can give him some serious help. Poor bugger.
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