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Old 21.01.2019, 20:56
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Oh my father... what should I do?

I'm going to visit my parents in a couple of weeks. Today my father sent me a message, asking me if I could help him buy a watch from Switzerland and he will transfer the money to me. I had a look yes it is a model which is very new and available in Europe only for the moment, it is quite expensive (around 2000 CHF)... and... it is a watch for female.

My father: please in no circumstances tell your mother about this. When you are here give me the watch secretly.
Me: ah so it's for mom?
Father: no... it's complicated, please don't tell anyone, especially your mother shouldn't know about this.

And he refuses to give more details.

What should I do??? is it for his... ???
- buy the watch as he asked?
- don't buy it, and don't say anything?
- don't buy it, and tell my mother?
- ...
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:00
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

You hold all the cards. Tell him you want a straight answer or he gets his own watch. Simple as.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:02
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

Oh wow - a very delicate situation indeed. Don't play his games or your mum will never forgive you if she finds out.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:07
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

It's for his mistress. Plot twist.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:09
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

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You hold all the cards. Tell him you want a straight answer or he gets his own watch. Simple as.
yeah, but somehow I don't want to discover the answer, I don't want to know and put myself in an even harder situation... I think I will just refuse to buy it, ask nothing and tell nothing.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:13
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

Tell him the watch costs CHF 3,000.

On a serious note, don't get involved. Tell him you don't want to be part of this. If he then gives you a plausible story and you're happy with it, you can buy the watch for him after all. Maybe for CHF 2,500.

By the way, if you do buy the watch and take it to him, you'll almost certainly run foul of customs laws in your home country -- I'm sure CHF 2,000 would exceed your personal duty free allowance, so unless you/he plan(s) to pay the relevant taxes and duties, I wouldn't even think about delivering the watch.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:15
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

Or maybe he just wants to offer a watch to a normal female friend? He does not want my mother know because he doesn't want her to misunderstand and be jealous unnecessarily?

Or maybe simply a female friend likes a lot this watch, my father is also an intermediate : his friend will pay him for the watch.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:17
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

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Father: no... it's complicated, please don't tell anyone, especially your mother shouldn't know about this.


- ...
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Or maybe he just wants to offer a watch to a normal female friend? He does not want my mother know because he doesn't want her to misunderstand and be jealous unnecessarily?

Or maybe simply a female friend likes a lot this watch, my father is also an intermediate : his friend will pay him for the watch.
Dont think so
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:17
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

I think that it's weird that your father asked you to buy the watch on his behalf without telling you why. There could be an innocent explanation, but if there was then surely he would be able to tell you what it was (e.g.buying it for a friend to give to their wife!). As a PP said, ask him for a straight answer. If he refuses to say, or it's unclear or dodgy though (as it seems to be the case) then I would simply refuse and explain that you want no part to play in it. If you got the watch for him and he was giving it to another "lady friend, then of course that would be very disloyal to your mum and she would most likely be understandably very angry and upset with you as well.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:20
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

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Dont think so
Yeah me too. but it's super strange. If it is for his maitresse, how come he is so sure that I will keep secret for him?
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:21
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

Look. You know what is going on, right? Your father knows what is going on, right?


You have to make a decision. And, yes, I know that you are freaking out. For some reason, your father has decided to entrust you with this secret. Is he really unhappy right now? Is he in desperate times right now? Is there drama going on right now that you know nothing about?


I have a father in his 70's and I could absolutely see him doing something like this and involving me. It is up to each individual person to look at their parents as individuals, and decide what your future relationship will be with that parent.


If you do this, you are enabling your father to forge forward in his life with someone who is not your mother. He is asking you to do this and he is aware that you are aware that this is what is going on.


If it was me, and, yes, both of my parents are in their 70's, I would point blank have the conversation with him regarding "what the hell are you up to" and "do you realize what a situation you are putting me in?"


Try to find out what is really going on. This could be some home health care worker, for God's sake, that your Dad has suddenly become enamored with. Talk to your Dad. And good luck.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:26
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

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I'm going to visit my parents in a couple of weeks. Today my father sent me a message, asking me if I could help him buy a watch from Switzerland and he will transfer the money to me. I had a look yes it is a model which is very new and available in Europe only for the moment, it is quite expensive (around 2000 CHF)... and... it is a watch for female.

My father: please in no circumstances tell your mother about this. When you are here give me the watch secretly.
Me: ah so it's for mom?
Father: no... it's complicated, please don't tell anyone, especially your mother shouldn't know about this.

And he refuses to give more details.

What should I do??? is it for his... ???
- buy the watch as he asked?
- don't buy it, and don't say anything?
- don't buy it, and tell my mother?
- ...
Tell him you couldn't find it. Then tell him to buy his own gifts and keep you out of it as you are not lying to your own mother.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:28
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

What watch brand/model is it?
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:28
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

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yeah, but somehow I don't want to discover the answer, I don't want to know and put myself in an even harder situation... I think I will just refuse to buy it, ask nothing and tell nothing.
You forgot the hardest part of the by you desired option: Wonder about it till the day you die and realising that one day in future the option to ask your father about this has gone by will only make it worse.

Also if it would be a 2nd lover he'd be amazingly dumb to play it like this.
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Old 21.01.2019, 21:50
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

It seems pretty clear to me that your father is a cross dresser. You should feel proud that he chose you to break his secret. Do your best to encourage his freedom of expression and perhaps he will get the courage to tell your mom soon. You should buy him a pretty dress or some latex article of clothing as well to show your support.
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Old 21.01.2019, 22:02
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

Plot twist .. Maybe it really is for mother / wife and he just really really wants it to be a secret, so much that he thinks you might spoil it.
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Old 21.01.2019, 22:21
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

Quit analysing it and judging your father, buy the watch, do as he says and end of story. If he really wants it, he’ll find another maybe more risky way of getting it which could cause hard feeling.

It’s not really your problem as such.
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Old 21.01.2019, 22:34
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

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You hold all the cards. Tell him you want a straight answer or he gets his own watch. Simple as.
No no, tell him you won't ask for a straight answer if you get your own watch. And 1000 CHFs.
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Old 21.01.2019, 22:35
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

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No no, tell him you won't ask for a straight answer if you get your own watch. And 1000 CHFs.
Not nice to screw close family
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Old 21.01.2019, 22:38
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Re: Oh my father... what should I do?

Buy the watch for your dad, He asked you to, so be nice.
its actually none of your biz what he does with it, I bet its for your mom (he wouldn't be so blatant as to ask you to get something secretly for his mistress would he???) ask him if he really wants to spend so much on a single article or if you should find something similar.(if its so dear, won't it get stolen in the country they live in?)
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