I am kind of confused about it since a long time, so today I will ask.

Say you have a woman's first and last name, Marie Antoinette and a man francois hollande

Do you say: Bonjour Madam Antoinnette and .. Monseur Hollande
or should I just use their first names instead?

I say this because I have seen few times where people use the last or the first name, but almost never the full name as I would have hoped. I wanted to write the full name today but I don't know if that is ok.

So, what is the etiquette or standard?

txs

Unless you're absolutely sure and you're already on first name terms, I would play safe and stick to the formal way of address (i.e. last names).

Thanks, but here is another confusing part. If I am sending an email to Marie Antoinette, then I would have to address her as Madam Antoinette, so I am addressing Antoinette (a man's name) with Madam. It's like saying Madam John ... is that right? From where I am, this would be like an insult.

But you answered your own question:

Have to say I'm more of a German speaker than a French speaker but what you wrote above would fit. Maybe replace "and" with "et" and Bob's your Uncle (or Oncle ).

I'm still learning French, but I'm pretty sure you address the letter based on the gender of the person, not the gender of their last name (if there is one).

In your example, Marie Antoinette is female. As such, Madam is appropriate.

Antoinette was not her family name, so it's a false example to make. Regardless, unless you are absolutely sure that you are on first names with a person, as in they are a personal friend, you should always use the polite form of Title + Family name.

ok, great. I feel like I have discovered something important today, this was puzzling me for some years, but no more. thanks all

Antoinette was not the last name of Marie Antoinette. Her maiden surname was Habsburg-Lorraine. Her married surname was Bourbon.

Furthermore, Antoinette was a nickname or more precisely a translated name or cognate name. Her full name was Maria Antonia Josepha Johanna of Habsburg-Lorraine.

Any anyway, Antoinette is a female name. The male equivalent wopuld be Anton, or Antonio.

But you would say Mrs. John, if that were her family name, wouldn't you?

My family name is a common first name is Suisse romande, so it confuses the hell out of people when they're communicating with my wife for the first time .

Robert, Frank, Ernst, Paul, Nicklaus, Franz, Thomas, Fritz, Gerhard and so on are common family names and also first names. They commonly even had a nickname to them to tell them apart: Bettler-Franz (if poor) or s'Wirt's Gerhard. Or Nüsslers Paul, because he had many walnut-trees.

If your family name is Fürst, Graf, König or Kaiser: You are not a monarch, as bad as it is. Those family names sprung up because of the "Lehen" /"fief": When you got a fief by a "Graf", you were commonly called Graf. My Great-Grandmother was called Frau Kaiser, even if dirt-poor... :-)

You also need to bear in mind the age and social position of the person you're addressing.

Few things annoy me more than receiving an email from someone in a business situation (insurance/letting agent for example) who assumes it's okay to dive in and use my first name without having met me, nor having the courtesy to ask first if I mind.

Assuming the OP wishes to write or speak in French, it would be "Madame" and "Monsieur", right? "Madam Antoinette" as used in the English examples here wouldn't be used in English.

The examples given wouldn't be used in French, but you're right we rarely use Madam in English either - at least not with a name.

In English, it's commonly:

Sir/Madam - If you don't know the person's name. Examples:

• In person - Excuse me, sir, how do I get to the train station?
• In a letter/email - Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inquire about...

Mr. or Ms. - If you know the person's name but are not on familiar terms with him/her. Examples:

• In person - Good morning, Ms. Antoinette. How are you today?
• In a letter/email - Dear Mr. Hollande, I am writing to inquire about...