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Old 20.06.2019, 17:15
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

I did not read all the posts so maybe someone already proposed this to you but... you could go to Poland for example and try to find it there - for sure it will be easier then here

You need to be careful too - not to find someone that "loves" you for your money but finding or getting the first contact is much easier then here...
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Old 20.06.2019, 17:40
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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I did not read all the posts so maybe someone already proposed this to you but... you could go to Poland for example and try to find it there - for sure it will be easier then here

You need to be careful too - not to find someone that "loves" you for your money but finding or getting the first contact is much easier then here...
I had Friends talking about how Poland is amazing . Harden than here it's difficult to believe .

I already had an Ukranian-German GF (that was so proud of NOT being russian) that was just with me to get expensive food, dates, trips, ... all while making me believe that we could have a relationship. I've been so stupid and naive in the past and I fully admit that. So no, no money diggers or girls that want me to pay for their shit, I'm not a bancomat . I want a real indipendent woman (not one that says is indipendent but makes every excuse not to pay anything).
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Old 20.06.2019, 17:43
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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I had Friends talking about how Poland is amazing . Harden than here it's difficult to believe .

I already had an Ukranian-German GF (that was so proud of NOT being russian) that was just with me to get expensive food, dates, trips, ... all while making me believe that we could have a relationship. I've been so stupid and naive in the past and I fully admit that. So no, no money diggers or girls that want me to pay for their shit, I'm not a bancomat . I want a real indipendent woman (not one that says is indipendent but makes every excuse not to pay anything).
Aha, so they should pay you?

Try to have a look at your own look at women first, it seems you are quite prejudiced in some ways.
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Old 20.06.2019, 17:45
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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"OK for anyone that thinks it is a **serious** hormonal disturbance right now here's the thing. If you know what a (ultra) low-carb / ketogenic diet is (did that) I can assure you that there it gets really much worse. I could yank myself 20-25 times per day there. Right now it's only 3-5 times per day so still relatively low."

Is this even possible? I can't decide whether you are a Troll or a horse.

Mostly I fear you truly need professional help. As Annie Dillard wrote, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." (in her book, The Writer's Life). Are you on a road of interminable dissatisfaction? Get the days right and your life will be satisfactory, even joyful. As a start, think about how you approach relationships by considering this excerpt from a poem, "The More Loving One", by W. H. Auden:

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

- Dr. M
I like the poetic intermission in otherwise meat-marketty thread.
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Old 20.06.2019, 17:53
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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Aha, so they should pay you?

Try to have a look at your own look at women first, it seems you are quite prejudiced in some ways.
No of course not. But a relationship is about sharing. Sharing both ups and downs, good and bads, privileges and duties. So everybody should (roughly) put 50% of the effort, the time, money, ...

If you are always doing the paying that's not your GF. That's your hooker
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  #66  
Old 20.06.2019, 18:35
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Good luck keeping scores. It sounds terribly insecure, not even pragmatic.

You'll know when you fall in love by tossing the score-keeping and pettiness out the window.

Is that a Murphy's Law?
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  #67  
Old 20.06.2019, 21:52
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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No of course not. But a relationship is about sharing. Sharing both ups and downs, good and bads, privileges and duties. So everybody should (roughly) put 50% of the effort, the time, money, ...

If you are always doing the paying that's not your GF. That's your hooker

Yes, but how do you calculate the 50%? You might put in 100% of the cash. The other might do 100% of the loo cleaning, 80% of the shopping, 90% of the driving you around when you are not sober, etc etc.



And they may even do 110% of the "putting up with your shit without actually killing you".



These things are not equal. If you try to account for them, well... if you are not mad already, you soon would be.



The secret to a good partnership is to feel that you are putting in 90% of the effort. And for your partner to feel they are doing the same. And for both of you to be comfortable with that.


Sorry, but your posts suggest to me that you may be unable to do this at the moment, hence your current predicament.



Regards




Ian
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  #68  
Old 20.06.2019, 22:25
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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Good luck keeping scores. It sounds terribly insecure, not even pragmatic.

You'll know when you fall in love by tossing the score-keeping and pettiness out the window.

Is that a Murphy's Law?
someone i dated sent me a payment slip with a spreadsheet, he kept score.
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  #69  
Old 20.06.2019, 22:33
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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someone i dated sent me a payment slip with a spreadsheet, he kept score.
Maybe a childhood-trauma?
Parents going through an ugly divorce?

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  #70  
Old 20.06.2019, 22:40
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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Maybe a childhood-trauma?
Parents going through an ugly divorce?

Demanded payment to.... dare I say more about who he is, would get a few grins though
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  #71  
Old 20.06.2019, 23:00
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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You are supposed to fake interest? Seriously? Sounds laborious.

How about hanging with interesting folks, so one doesn't have to fake anything.
broken sarcasm detector?

He could start by talking about something other than himself, maybe.
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  #72  
Old 20.06.2019, 23:24
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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broken sarcasm detector?

He could start by talking about something other than himself, maybe.
How's your sarcasm detector doing? How many time do we spin this sarcasm theme around?

How about this, OP - how should we date in CH? You are home here.
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  #73  
Old 21.06.2019, 14:26
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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You are supposed to fake interest? Seriously? Sounds laborious.

How about hanging with interesting folks, so one doesn't have to fake anything.
It's even more difficult to fake being interesting.

Believe me, I've been trying.
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Old 21.06.2019, 14:57
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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No of course not. But a relationship is about sharing. Sharing both ups and downs, good and bads, privileges and duties. So everybody should (roughly) put 50% of the effort, the time, money, ...

If you are always doing the paying that's not your GF. That's your hooker
Hold on Sheldon Cooper.

That is very black and white. Relationships will never be symetrical as your partner will have a whole bunch of personality traits and requirements that you won't have and maybe contradict yours. And you need to learn how to deal with this.

Being afraid of missing out is not a good base to form a healthy relationship. And keeping (even a virtual one in your head) a spreadsheet about who is contributing more to the relationship is toxic for any relationship.

BTT: Have you considered serbia? Belgrad is great and full of opportunities. And many already have relatives in switzerland.

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Well, not all of them do.

You are funny.
I see what you did there.
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  #75  
Old 21.06.2019, 17:40
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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I see what you did there.
Who...what

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  #76  
Old 22.06.2019, 00:05
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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With an attitude like that you're doomed. You've clearly got major issues, but you'll get nowhere if you continue to think that way.

Women are just people, really not very different at all. You don't need any special skills - if you can get on with men, you can get on with women too. Failure to do so is your fault, not theirs.

And no-one's remotely interested in your solo sex life. It's not relevant here. At all.
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Anything useful to say ?

And I was just trying to clarify to those that believe that my hormones are (not) totally out of balance right now. Relevant or not that's to be seen
He did say some useful stuff. You seem to think that girls should fall in your arms within 5 minutes of meeting you. Guess what? Nobody owes you anything. Girls can be picky as well and for some reason you havent met anyone that thinks you are worth a second meeting. They have every right to do that. Either you change your attitude or keep looking. You never know..
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  #77  
Old 22.06.2019, 01:16
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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He did say some useful stuff. You seem to think that girls should fall in your arms within 5 minutes of meeting you. Guess what? Nobody owes you anything. Girls can be picky as well and for some reason you havent met anyone that thinks you are worth a second meeting. They have every right to do that. Either you change your attitude or keep looking. You never know..
Bit harsh somewhat?

There is probably a type of girl that matches every type of guy. So the more girls you meet, the more likely that one of them might like you. Not all girls are ultra picky, but the type that hangs out in bars or on dating forums is probably more picky than the rest simply because she gets hit on by more guys and can thus afford to be picky, or even needs to be that way. Many guys make the mistake of extrapolating from some especially picky girls to all girls. If you go out more into the world at large. Like friends of friends, clubs or groups united by a common interest, the pickiness is much lower. Even in Switzerland. Ever noticed how much easier it is to get into smalltalk with the cashier at Migros that with that girl in the bar? Of course I'm not suggesting you ask the cashier out on a date, just like that. But actually a work friend of mine did just that. Mind you, he had been familar with this cashier for years before he plucked up the courage. He ended up marrying her.
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Old 22.06.2019, 12:26
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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Bit harsh somewhat?

There is probably a type of girl that matches every type of guy. So the more girls you meet, the more likely that one of them might like you. Not all girls are ultra picky, but the type that hangs out in bars or on dating forums is probably more picky than the rest simply because she gets hit on by more guys and can thus afford to be picky, or even needs to be that way.
This is very valid point in every country and dating location like dating apps where ratio between men and women is too wide apart. When girl or boy receives 1000 messages from opposite sex, from which some seem to do whatever it takes to get in contact, this automatically/often makes the person to see their market value much higher than what it is in reality. In the past I have met many completely average/normal looking girls, with average personality, no specific education or career achievements etc.. in dating apps whos attitude and belief on their market value is at least 5 steps above reality and had strong arrogance caused by that belief. Why, because there are too many desperate men in here giving them that belief.

Personally I would suggest to ditch any person who seems to have too high expectations their market value and arrogance that comes with that as if you low yourself to be one of the 1000 entertaining/competing monkeys, the monkey you shall be but thats just my view. To have respect from another person you first have to respect yourself even if that means staying single for some time until right person comes along.

Be yourself, take good care of yourself, be nice and be socially active on the hobbies that you find interesting and its almost impossible not to meet someone at some point assuming you are ready for it and that your belief on your market value matches the reality at least on some level (Eg dont expect to meet Miss Switzerland unless you look like Brad Pitt yourself).
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Old 22.06.2019, 14:28
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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I am whatever age I put in the box darling
Uh oh. That post bumped the presumed age up to 45+... “darling?”
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Old 22.06.2019, 14:30
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Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

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Uh oh. That post bumped the presumed age up to 45+... “darling?”
me? nah not that old, but also lucky as I don't look my age.

lots of blokes lie about their ages, and they look older not younger always a shock that one
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