Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Living in Switzerland > Daily life  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #81  
Old 22.06.2019, 14:32
BLP's Avatar
BLP BLP is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Vaud
Posts: 1,153
Groaned at 38 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 588 Times in 366 Posts
BLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
This is very valid point in every country and dating location like dating apps where ratio between men and women is too wide apart. When girl or boy receives 1000 messages from opposite sex, from which some seem to do whatever it takes to get in contact, this automatically/often makes the person to see their market value much higher than what it is in reality. In the past I have met many completely average/normal looking girls, with average personality, no specific education or career achievements etc.. in dating apps whos attitude and belief on their market value is at least 5 steps above reality and had strong arrogance caused by that belief. Why, because there are too many desperate men in here giving them that belief.

Personally I would suggest to ditch any person who seems to have too high expectations their market value and arrogance that comes with that as if you low yourself to be one of the 1000 entertaining/competing monkeys, the monkey you shall be but thats just my view. To have respect from another person you first have to respect yourself even if that means staying single for some time until right person comes along.

Be yourself, take good care of yourself, be nice and be socially active on the hobbies that you find interesting and its almost impossible not to meet someone at some point assuming you are ready for it and that your belief on your market value matches the reality at least on some level (Eg dont expect to meet Miss Switzerland unless you look like Brad Pitt yourself).
Instagram is also to blame for the inflated egos.

There is not much worth in likes on apps. You can have 1000 matches and not even a date from it.

Sadly apps killed the concept of dating for millions.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank BLP for this useful post:
  #82  
Old 22.06.2019, 14:35
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
Instagram is also to blame for the inflated egos.

There is not much worth in likes on apps. You can have 1000 matches and not even a date from it.

Sadly apps killed the concept of dating for millions.
...and probably matched many millions more. I met my partner on one, and there's an almost zero chance our paths would have crossed without the app.

You still have to date by the way. We didn't get just arrange to get married the first time we met
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank for this useful post:
  #83  
Old 22.06.2019, 14:42
BLP's Avatar
BLP BLP is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Vaud
Posts: 1,153
Groaned at 38 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 588 Times in 366 Posts
BLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
...and probably matched many millions more. I met my partner on one, and there's an almost zero chance our paths would have crossed without the app.

You still have to date by the way. We didn't get just arrange to get married the first time we met
There are happy stories like yours, it's not all bad.

And I'm happy to date but most of the men just want to match, throw out a few words and have sex. That isn't dating

I'm sure you met your partner by saying more than "hey wanna f***?"
Reply With Quote
  #84  
Old 22.06.2019, 14:47
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
There are happy stories like yours, it's not all bad.

And I'm happy to date but most of the men just want to match, throw out a few words and have sex. That isn't dating

I'm sure you met your partner by saying more than "hey wanna f***?"
Perhaps you've just had bad experiences, or perhaps I've just had largely good ones.

Certainly from my friend group, the single people who use these apps weren't just looking for a shag (we have Friday night in Nelson / Paddy's for that in Zürich!) but something a bit more serious.

Despite actually meeting my missus on Tinder, I actually found OK Cupid much better for meeting girls - you get a much fuller profile not just based on pictures, but an overall description of the person... Maybe the OP could try going down that route.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank for this useful post:
  #85  
Old 22.06.2019, 15:18
BLP's Avatar
BLP BLP is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Vaud
Posts: 1,153
Groaned at 38 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 588 Times in 366 Posts
BLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
Perhaps you've just had bad experiences, or perhaps I've just had largely good ones.

Certainly from my friend group, the single people who use these apps weren't just looking for a shag (we have Friday night in Nelson / Paddy's for that in Zürich!) but something a bit more serious.

Despite actually meeting my missus on Tinder, I actually found OK Cupid much better for meeting girls - you get a much fuller profile not just based on pictures, but an overall description of the person... Maybe the OP could try going down that route.
men and women of course have different experiences in dating.

Maybe I have had bad luck but other women are having a similar issue, and obviously if they text first for sex there is nothing I could have done different.

maybe change my photo to one wearing a habit?
Reply With Quote
  #86  
Old 22.06.2019, 15:35
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Zurich
Posts: 126
Groaned at 6 Times in 5 Posts
Thanked 130 Times in 53 Posts
hellacopters has earned the respect of manyhellacopters has earned the respect of manyhellacopters has earned the respect of many
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
Instagram is also to blame for the inflated egos.

There is not much worth in likes on apps. You can have 1000 matches and not even a date from it.

Sadly apps killed the concept of dating for millions.
Agree, with right looks and possibly photo-shopped images with some boobs and booty, even an completely normal girl can suddenly feel like rock-star so cannot blame them if that feels flattering and skyrockets the ego and the "normal neighbor guy" feels like would be going below standards.

I also think culture in dating apps has changed quite a lot, whereas in 4 or 5 years ago when used tinder first time, had at least short chat at least with most of matches, almost everyone responded to messages and from the chats I was active myself, more than 70% led to actual date and had a relationship from person met online as well; when was active last time those numbers were opposite. Not saying its impossible to meet someone in dating app still but it has became much more difficult and frustrating than what it was.

#Disclaimer, while talking about womens egos and overrated belief of their market value, am sure its same also for men.
Reply With Quote
  #87  
Old 22.06.2019, 15:38
BLP's Avatar
BLP BLP is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Vaud
Posts: 1,153
Groaned at 38 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 588 Times in 366 Posts
BLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post

#Disclaimer, while talking about womens egos and overrated belief of their market value, am sure its same also for men.
yep a lot of guys thinking they the shitz when they aren't. They bring nothing to the table but there they are demanding a girl go to their place at midnight for a shag...
Reply With Quote
  #88  
Old 23.06.2019, 12:31
amogles's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 12,361
Groaned at 338 Times in 274 Posts
Thanked 26,263 Times in 11,000 Posts
amogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
This is very valid point in every country and dating location like dating apps where ratio between men and women is too wide apart. When girl or boy receives 1000 messages from opposite sex, from which some seem to do whatever it takes to get in contact, this automatically/often makes the person to see their market value much higher than what it is in reality. In the past I have met many completely average/normal looking girls, with average personality, no specific education or career achievements etc.. in dating apps whos attitude and belief on their market value is at least 5 steps above reality and had strong arrogance caused by that belief. Why, because there are too many desperate men in here giving them that belief.
The reverse corollary of this is that, the very unbalanced ratio of guys to girls on dating sites means that there are plenty of girls who don't use dating sites. So go look for them where they are rather than where they aren't.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank amogles for this useful post:
  #89  
Old 23.06.2019, 13:23
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Kt.ZH
Posts: 11,673
Groaned at 431 Times in 355 Posts
Thanked 17,989 Times in 9,092 Posts
greenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
Agree, with right looks and possibly photo-shopped images with some boobs and booty, even an completely normal girl can suddenly feel like rock-star so cannot blame them if that feels flattering and skyrockets the ego and the "normal neighbor guy" feels like would be going below standards.

I also think culture in dating apps has changed quite a lot, whereas in 4 or 5 years ago when used tinder first time, had at least short chat at least with most of matches, almost everyone responded to messages and from the chats I was active myself, more than 70% led to actual date and had a relationship from person met online as well; when was active last time those numbers were opposite. Not saying its impossible to meet someone in dating app still but it has became much more difficult and frustrating than what it was.

#Disclaimer, while talking about womens egos and overrated belief of their market value, am sure its same also for men.

Market value sounds so...unromantic! What about people matching other people in terms of common interests, goals, views on relations...? I believe as soon as you drop your expectations from unknown girls on internet or in real life, it gets a lot less frustrating. Humans don't act according to our views (preconceptions) and "rates" and interests. If there's "chemistry", everything can develop from there.

Last edited by greenmount; 23.06.2019 at 13:37.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank greenmount for this useful post:
  #90  
Old 23.06.2019, 16:34
BLP's Avatar
BLP BLP is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Vaud
Posts: 1,153
Groaned at 38 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 588 Times in 366 Posts
BLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
The reverse corollary of this is that, the very unbalanced ratio of guys to girls on dating sites means that there are plenty of girls who don't use dating sites. So go look for them where they are rather than where they aren't.
there is an easy explanation for this, girls tend to cheat less

How many men on dating apps are actually single? And they may "class themselves" as single but it doesn't make it facts.

Out of 100 I'd say 10-15 are actually single on avg.
Reply With Quote
  #91  
Old 23.06.2019, 18:03
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Zurich City
Posts: 6,087
Groaned at 480 Times in 266 Posts
Thanked 7,144 Times in 3,278 Posts
ZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
Believe me, I think I speak for all on EF that no-one has any interest whatsoever on your sexual interests.

Anything interesting / useful to post?
Well, judging from the number of posts of this thread, seems that I was completely wrong .
Reply With Quote
  #92  
Old 23.06.2019, 18:48
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: SG
Posts: 10,318
Groaned at 603 Times in 437 Posts
Thanked 13,919 Times in 7,260 Posts
Urs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
there is an easy explanation for this, girls tend to cheat less
If that were true who would men cheat with?
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Urs Max for this useful post:
  #93  
Old 23.06.2019, 19:14
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Zurich City
Posts: 6,087
Groaned at 480 Times in 266 Posts
Thanked 7,144 Times in 3,278 Posts
ZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond reputeZuriRollt has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
If that were true who would men cheat with?
Doubt that I would get into that with you, following your last red blobs following a post in which I happened to mention that I was gay.

BS was your main point in that message.
Reply With Quote
  #94  
Old 23.06.2019, 19:29
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Lenzburg
Posts: 53
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
swissnative has become a little unpopularswissnative has become a little unpopular
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
there is an easy explanation for this, girls tend to cheat less

How many men on dating apps are actually single? And they may "class themselves" as single but it doesn't make it facts.

Out of 100 I'd say 10-15 are actually single on avg.
Care to say that again please?
Ah yes for you girls it's not cheating ... It's "I **** another one without telling you". Or the better one: "I tell you and I **** the other 10 minutes later". Yeah ... VERY different things

For the other thing, based on my latest experience:
- About 30% of the girls are totally fake. Latest trend seems to advertise as working for "Kissdick.club" or something similar. Those get banned very quickly. Stupid Tinder could just prevent these from registering in the first place anyway
- Of the other 70%, about 50% doesn't have a word in their profile.
- Those that do have either "1m68" or something like that. As if it's important how tall they are (because if you are 1m56 I cannot you in this position but I have to chose another one ).
- Otherwise a chilometric description about not wanting ONS. All girls apparently want a relationship but no one even puts the effort to create/maintain one .

Quote:
yep a lot of guys thinking they the shitz when they aren't. They bring nothing to the table but there they are demanding a girl go to their place at midnight for a shag...
No I like to take my time. I prefer to start at 21-22

Quote:
Certainly from my friend group, the single people who use these apps weren't just looking for a shag (we have Friday night in Nelson / Paddy's for that in Zürich!) but something a bit more serious.

Despite actually meeting my missus on Tinder, I actually found OK Cupid much better for meeting girls - you get a much fuller profile not just based on pictures, but an overall description of the person... Maybe the OP could try going down that route.
Care to explain?

I got banned on OKCupid twice ... Bunch of bullshit feminists in the OKCupid team. I'm for all the equality in the world, but that goes in both way girls: you cannot have it one way and not the other. Men in Switzerland pay 20-30% more taxes than you do (military tax bullshit). And for those that argue that girls earn less ... Well I guess it depends on which working class it is. I guess the cashier in a Supermarket / Cooker / Cleaning Lady / ... are jobs where this is much more evident. I doubt it's applicable to those that got an university degree.


I actually had MUCH BETTER experiences with two-night stands (never had a **1** night stand actually) / sexfriends than with girlfriends. Much more relaxing. You are free to judge as much as you like based on your own experience of course. Right now if a girl starts talking about relationship I'm already like: "the shit you are talking about?".
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank swissnative for this useful post:
  #95  
Old 23.06.2019, 21:14
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Kt.ZH
Posts: 11,673
Groaned at 431 Times in 355 Posts
Thanked 17,989 Times in 9,092 Posts
greenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
Right now if a girl starts talking about relationship I'm already like: "the shit you are talking about?".
So what was your question again?
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank greenmount for this useful post:
  #96  
Old 23.06.2019, 21:36
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Kt.ZH
Posts: 11,673
Groaned at 431 Times in 355 Posts
Thanked 17,989 Times in 9,092 Posts
greenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
I got banned on OKCupid twice ....
Hmmm, gee, I wonder why.

Quote:
View Post
I'm for all the equality in the world, but that goes in both way girls: you cannot have it one way and not the other. Men in Switzerland pay 20-30% more taxes than you do (military tax bullshit). And for those that argue that girls earn less ... Well I guess it depends on which working class it is. I guess the cashier in a Supermarket / Cooker / Cleaning Lady / ... are jobs where this is much more evident. I doubt it's applicable to those that got an university degree.
.
And if they don't have a uni degree does it make it right? Btw, you'd be surprised... My friend teaches French at one of the commerce schools in Zurich and she recently found out she earns significantly less than one of her male colleagues. Not only her, all the women staff. Anyways.... If you want to keep scores and pay Dutch every single time, you should make it clear from the very beginning. This could go down well with some, not very well with others. Be honest. Don't hold a grudge if it will be a deal breaker for some of them. It's all about expectations: no-one owes you anything.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank greenmount for this useful post:
  #97  
Old 23.06.2019, 22:20
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Lenzburg
Posts: 53
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
swissnative has become a little unpopularswissnative has become a little unpopular
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
Hmmm, gee, I wonder why.



And if they don't have a uni degree does it make it right? Btw, you'd be surprised... My friend teaches French at one of the commerce schools in Zurich and she recently found out she earns significantly less than one of her male colleagues. Not only her, all the women staff. Anyways.... If you want to keep scores and pay Dutch every single time, you should make it clear from the very beginning. This could go down well with some, not very well with others. Be honest. Don't hold a grudge if it will be a deal breaker for some of them. It's all about expectations: no-one owes you anything.
Because I had enough of writing good personalized messages every single time and the girls don't even bother reading it. So I just send "Want to hookup" .



Watch "jordan peterson women equality" (or "jordan peterson equality of outcome vs opportunity") on Youtube. If you don't protest and don't ask for more, they won't give you a raise (or higher initial salary, etc). Then don't complain. When I got my job I asked for more than what they offered me. And after one year even more. And every year do the same ing thing. Life is getting more expensive every year. Are you happy with the current situation? Ask for a raise and get it, otherwise change your ing job.

I had colleagues with 10 years of experience earning less than me when I started. If you play it "nice and soft" you won't ever get anywhere. If you are happy with the status quo and don't say anything, nothing will change. Sometimes you have to be a "good" cocky bastard that doesn't agree on their terms, tell them that you did a great job and that you want a raise.

This is not girls / guys dependent only. If the girl is super confident (or arrogant) she will also be able to negotiate her salary (maybe even higher if she uses the right "persuasion" technique ). On average that's not the case however.
Reply With Quote
This user groans at swissnative for this post:
  #98  
Old 23.06.2019, 22:23
roegner's Avatar
Moderately Dutch
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Zurich
Posts: 12,253
Groaned at 398 Times in 335 Posts
Thanked 16,239 Times in 7,445 Posts
roegner has a reputation beyond reputeroegner has a reputation beyond reputeroegner has a reputation beyond reputeroegner has a reputation beyond reputeroegner has a reputation beyond reputeroegner has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
Watch "jordan peterson women equality" (or "jordan peterson equality of outcome vs opportunity") on Youtube. If you don't protest and don't ask for more, they won't give you a raise (or higher initial salary, etc). Then don't complain. When I got my job I asked for more than what they offered me. And after one year even more. And every year do the same ing thing. Life is getting more expensive every year. Are you happy with the current situation? Ask for a raise and get it, otherwise change your ing job.

I had colleagues with 10 years of experience earning less than me when I started. If you play it "nice and soft" you won't ever get anywhere. If you are happy with the status quo and don't say anything, nothing will change. Sometimes you have to be a "good" cocky bastard that doesn't agree on their terms, tell them that you did a great job and that you want a raise.

This is not girls / guys dependent only. If the girl is super confident (or arrogant) she will also be able to negotiate her salary (maybe even higher if she uses the right "persuasion" technique ). On average that's not the case however.
And what has that to do with your lack of female companionship??

So if a man does that it is ok, if a woman does that she is arrogant? Explains your initial posts a lot........
Reply With Quote
  #99  
Old 23.06.2019, 22:34
BLP's Avatar
BLP BLP is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Vaud
Posts: 1,153
Groaned at 38 Times in 29 Posts
Thanked 588 Times in 366 Posts
BLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
If that were true who would men cheat with?

There way more men than women. So how is hard to imagine there are single and taken guys both after the same pool of women?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank BLP for this useful post:
  #100  
Old 23.06.2019, 22:36
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Lenzburg
Posts: 53
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
swissnative has become a little unpopularswissnative has become a little unpopular
Re: Meeting Girls / Hooking Up / Finding a GF in Switzerland

Quote:
View Post
And what has that to do with your lack of female companionship??

So if a man does that it is ok, if a woman does that she is arrogant? Explains your initial posts a lot........
For the salary different of greenmount's female friend I mean. Not sure why you did the link from that specific post with my lack of female companionship .

Read my post again:
Quote:
Sometimes you have to be a "good" cocky bastard that doesn't agree on their terms, tell them that you did a great job and that you want a raise.
For me arrogant and cocky are similar terms. I didn't mean to go into the fine linguistical meaning of each term (which to be honest I don't know in detail). Assume the same term was used in both places for men & women.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
girls, hooking up, meeting, social




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
anyone up for meeting up in Lausanne tonight? joshi23 Food and drink 0 11.06.2015 18:43
Hooking up with young swiss girls ForestCanton General off-topic 40 28.09.2012 10:29
Meeting Shöne Frau in Zürich [nice girls, I think] JimC Daily life 101 03.12.2010 15:29
Meeting local people (girls specifically) in Lugano Freerunner Complaints corner 29 29.08.2010 14:36
How to marry my gf, she is in Switzerland smile_pls Permits/visas/government 57 04.11.2009 05:51


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 10:06.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0