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Old 14.09.2019, 10:24
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Childless wedding reception

Mentioned in another thread, which I don't wish to derail.

So what's all that about? Why would anyone want to celebrate a wedding, being a celebration of love, life and family, without having children present?

Genuinely curious.
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Old 14.09.2019, 10:29
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Re: Childless wedding reception

No clue! Our wedding lunch ended up differently from what we had thought as I had all the kiddies sitting next to me :-) who then got into a fight on who gets the last potatoe kroketjes.
At the reception they were in a corner playing games. Worked out well.

Apart from that, could I tell my family: nice of you to travel hundreds of kilometers but leave the kids at home?

(If I had wanted at all....)
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Old 14.09.2019, 10:41
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Re: Childless wedding reception

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Mentioned in another thread, which I don't wish to derail.

So what's all that about? Why would anyone want to celebrate a wedding, being a celebration of love, life and family, without having children present?

Genuinely curious.
Traditionaly, after the church ceremony,

-the bride and groom are greeted outside of the church by friends, relatives, club members
- go to a venue for refreshments (usually children are still welcome)
- then be transported with their wedding guests by an organized bus, etc. to a restaurant with possible stops in between.

(Thirty years ago, while being transported to the dinner venue, wedding guests actually stopped in a small grocery store, especially opened for them since shops were closed Saturday afternoons, to buy groceries from a list for the bride and groom.)

- The dinner, at some swanky place, usually goes on til after midnight. Guests drink, eat, watch skits, take part in games and party until long after midnight. Kids would be bored to death so, of course, they're not invited.

Now if kids aren't invited to the reception, it may mean that

-there's only limited space
- they want to keep costs down
- it's not kid-friendly

Whatever the reasons, it's their wedding and hence their decisions should be respected.
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Old 14.09.2019, 10:52
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Re: Childless wedding reception

One of the best weddings I went to had the reception in a marquee.

When we arrived, a load of mothers with children at the local school (the bride was a teacher), took all the children away to a second, a-joining marquee where there was a bouncy castle, games, story telling, and childrens' party food and so on.

It was really nice to have a pleasant evening eating, drinking, and chatting to other adults knowing our children were being looked after, we didn't need to worry about baby sitters and they were next door anyway.

Of course the kids thought it was the best wedding ever!

Even at Italian weddings (of which I've been to numerous) where kids are absolutely welcome, they've laid on some sort of entertainment for the kids as an eight or ten course meal can be quite taxing for a young child both in quantity of food and in duration.
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Old 14.09.2019, 11:07
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Re: Childless wedding reception

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Mentioned in another thread, which I don't wish to derail.

So what's all that about? Why would anyone want to celebrate a wedding, being a celebration of love, life and family, without having children present?

Genuinely curious.
maybe they are swingers?
then the kids should not be invited (nor the family I suppose).

Why do you ask?

edit: just joking
I am looking for storage (shelf), needed to relax

Last edited by starDeMer; 14.09.2019 at 11:34.
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Old 14.09.2019, 11:08
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Re: Childless wedding reception

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Mentioned in another thread, which I don't wish to derail.
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Why do you ask?
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Old 14.09.2019, 11:30
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Re: Childless wedding reception

Friends of mine knew up front they didn't plan to have children and didn't want any at their wedding reception. The ring bearer and flower girl for the ceremony were fine.

Their reasoning behind the child-free reception: Kids are a nuisance to be looked after and will distract the parents. The videographer will focus on cute kid antics instead of taking nice images of us and our friends.

Okay, their wedding, their choice.

Funny thing is, a couple of kids later they think differently about taking children to wedding receptions.
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Old 14.09.2019, 11:42
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Re: Childless wedding reception

Depends on the people, their poshiness level, their background, and quite often financial status.

A wedding is not always a celebration of family and love. It's quite often a show of wealth. Tune in in some bride dressing gowns shows on TV to see what some people think about weddings - it has to be absolutely perfect, everyone has to look their absolute best, the photos must look like Barbie dioramas. Take a look at the Nosedive episode for a very interesting take on the social obsession. It gets to the point of women breaking relationship with their friends because they refuse to wear the chosen bridesmaids dresses, or *gasp* because someone was wearing black/white on their wedding. NAH HUM!

Children - with their inherent incapacity of being predictable, well behaved and always looking perfect - are hindering the perfect diorama concept. They will get moody and ruin the photos and "memories" quicker than your drunk friend manages to start the strip tease on top of the table (and usually rowdy adults can be taken out of the room without ear bursting screams).

You have to remember that a wedding doesn't always have the same meaning to each person - never has had (quick example, in Roman times plebeian families were married by saying "we are married", patricians had to go through hoops and weird traditions). It's also about the show - be it about making sure everyone knows the girl's virginity is worth a bunch of money, or that their family is so wealthy they can through "the party" everyone will be talking about for years to come. And sometimes children are hindering with the show.

Social constructs can be strange.
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Old 14.09.2019, 11:45
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Re: Childless wedding reception

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The ring bearer and flower girl for the ceremony were fine.
The what? And the what? OK, so I've seen some US weddings on TV where someone's throwing flowers around, so I can assume that one, but when did the (I presume) idea of a small boy to take over the one duty the Best Man has top perform in the ceremony happen?

Anyway, I tend to sympathise with the no-kids sentiment, TBH, especially if it's a mature couple getting hitched. I know that some cultures still link the concept of getting married with that of starting a family, but I still don't see that it makes the presence of kids at a wedding somehow mandatory.
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Old 14.09.2019, 11:58
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Re: Childless wedding reception

We also took the view that kids would be bored stiff at sitting through a six-course dinner and numerous speeches. Our solution wasn't quite as fancy as a bouncy castle, but we hired babysitters to look after the children for the evening while the adults ate. We also had beds available, as weddings in France tend to last until the early hours of the morning and the kids wouldn't make it that long.



It worked well -- the kids had a good time and weren't bored; the parents could pop in and check on the littlest ones if they wanted to; and the adults got to enjoy their evening without constantly having to keep their kids in check.
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Old 14.09.2019, 12:13
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Re: Childless wedding reception

We had kids at our wedding and reception - our daughter was there so the more the merrier! We had colouring books etc on the tables and it was great. The later it got more and more kids were sleeping on sofas with jackets as blankets!

I can see why folk may think that kids get in the way on the day etc and honestly, their day, their rules. However I think you need kids at a wedding - they get up and dance far more readily than the grown ups.
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Old 14.09.2019, 12:38
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Re: Childless wedding reception

We were invited to a wedding a few years ago without our kids and quickly decided not to go.

My niece, at her wedding last year, found out beforehand what each child liked and made up individual named craft bags with puzzles, toys, games.
When we were called to the wedding meal, the bags were waiting on the tables where each of the children sat. The parents, needless to say, were delighted.

And when the entertainment started in the evening she had some music requests played for the kids and they were encouraged on stage to sing.

I just can't imagine a wedding without seeing a pair of six/seven year olds tearing around the place playing tag and laughing uncontrollably.
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Old 14.09.2019, 12:54
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Re: Childless wedding reception

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The what? And the what? OK, so I've seen some US weddings on TV where someone's throwing flowers around, so I can assume that one, but when did the (I presume) idea of a small boy to take over the one duty the Best Man has top perform in the ceremony happen?
It's been that way as long as I can remember in the USA. A young boy, generally no more than age 8, carries a pretty pillow down the aisle as part of the procession. If you're feeling daring, you tie the actual rings to the pillow. If you're smart, you attach fakes and leave the real ones with the best man. Don't Brits have pageboys with similar duties?

The flower girl(s) walk the aisle sprinkling flower petals before the bride walks down the aisle. Or they dump them out in heaps, or the girl sits down and cries and doesn't want to do anything. Good fun! My youngest flower girl spent the entire ceremony laying out the train of my dress and putting flower petals in a pattern on it.

Everyone I grew up with was a flower girl or ring bearer at some point in their lives, some of them multiple times.
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Old 14.09.2019, 13:31
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Re: Childless wedding reception

Don't think there were any kids at our reception because of the simple fact it was all older couples and the kids were grownups as well.
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Old 14.09.2019, 13:48
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Re: Childless wedding reception

We were once invited to a childless wedding reception. We'd have had to travel to the UK and arranged babysitters for our kids - so effectively it was impossible. It was a bit sad, as we were very close friends with the parents and brothers of the bride, and had known her since she was a baby.
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Old 14.09.2019, 14:54
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Re: Childless wedding reception

I've been to two weddings that had similar requests. Both were country weddings a distance away from my hometown.

At the first, kids were welcome from 12 noon until 7pm, then they were ferried home to various babysitters. My OH did some of the driving for that and some friends shared babysitters. That reception carried on until the early hours of the morning.

With the second, the venue was far more remote (in the Trough of Bowland for those who are familiar with it) with a lot of guests choosing to stay for the night at hotels in the next village. I think with that one, we all accepted that the couple were on a budget and that would have doubled paying for all the kids, particularly as two of our friends have four boys each. Also, the bride is a teacher and wanted just one day when she could completely switch off her 'teacher mode'. Again, there were a few kids there til 6pm, then they were taken home. The venue wasn't suitable for kids because it was centered around a terrace with stunning views, but it also had a low wall with a sheer drop down to the river below.
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Old 14.09.2019, 16:57
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Re: Childless wedding reception

Yeah, read all the replies so what can I say - each to their own.

Personally I am not fond of weddings without children, it seems like something is missing. I have been to weddings since I can remember so I don't get the "aversion" against kids. Wha...? They're lovely.

I mentioned in another thread - apart from friends and colleagues, we invited almost all our extended family and there were children too, of course...how could we not invite them?....the idea of not inviting them didn't even cross our minds. I don't think they behaved worse than the adults...

And yes, I have watched a couple of these "bridezilla" shows and noticed the obsession with "perfection" especially in some cultures, and thought OMG....everything was so exaggerated, things should be so much simpler so that people would actually enjoy their weddings too? It is possible.
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Old 14.09.2019, 17:31
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Re: Childless wedding reception

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I don't think they behaved worse than the adults...
Totally agree. Worst behaved person at my wedding was the bride Took myself off for a walk at 5pm to sober up, then got everyone drinking rounds of schnapps and was last seen having a snowball fight with the best man and my bridesmaid at 2am still in my wedding dress.
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Old 14.09.2019, 18:12
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Re: Childless wedding reception

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Totally agree. Worst behaved person at my wedding was the bride Took myself off for a walk at 5pm to sober up, then got everyone drinking rounds of schnapps and was last seen having a snowball fight with the best man and my bridesmaid at 2am still in my wedding dress.
No kids at ours.. only noisy elephants, giraffes, buffalo and the beautiful wide african planes.

I got drunk on cocktails (I don't drink cocktails ) and went to bed early.. woke up at dawn with a stupid hangover and a party of baboons having a shindig on our roof.
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Old 14.09.2019, 18:42
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Re: Childless wedding reception

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Even at Italian weddings (of which I've been to numerous) where kids are absolutely welcome, they've laid on some sort of entertainment for the kids as an eight or ten course meal can be quite taxing for a young child both in quantity of food and in duration.
I've been to Italian weddings where children were not allowed, nor non-invited partners.

But the groom's dog was invited (and stood next to me in the church)!

Tom
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