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Old 05.03.2020, 12:12
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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I also read that the trends are changing, smart girls (I think it was a uni degree and Northern countries) are starting to have kids earlier without counting on finding a reliable partner. It is a consequence that I understand.
Not in the UK. Average age of first time mums is just over 30. The preference would seem to get an education, career, home first.

Yes eggs deplete over time but that doesn't make FC right. Besides, he's either trolling or entirely clueless. Maybe both.
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  #222  
Old 05.03.2020, 12:15
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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That women who can have babies after 40 are somewhat biologically gifted because most women at that age have difficulty in conceiving.
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On the other hand, the old "arguing against things that weren't actually said" appears to be live and kicking, for example nobody has said that "most women over 40" have difficulty conceiving, yet it hasn't stopped some posters refuting that (unmade) point.
You obviously missed this post.
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  #223  
Old 05.03.2020, 12:17
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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You obviously missed this post.
Yes, I did. I was referring back to the earlier posts by Chuff, which very carefully didn't use such language.
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Old 05.03.2020, 12:18
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Re: Swiss men and dating

You all still here? I just came back in to turn the lights out, damn, can't believe I'm getting sucked into this discussion again..

My bullet points on fertility:
  • Our fertility expiry dates are there for a reason: children need the parents (or at least the mother) to live long enough until they can be independent, so evolution has put in this safety net. Sorry girls, nature has dealt you a bad hand.
  • Reproducing after 50 may be biologically possible, but maybe not fair to the kids. I feel borderline at having my second at 48, he's going to be leaving high school as I retire.
  • Reproductive desperation (which can occur in both sexes) is a dangerous thing..compromising on a partner to produce offspring will only end in tears, mainly for the kids.
  • Nature is cruel: I know some very young couples who cannot conceive, it's truly heartbreaking. I know also older couples who have had "accidents" in their 40s. Nature is cruel, fairness is a purely human concept.

Right, now will someone turn the lights out?
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  #225  
Old 05.03.2020, 12:18
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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All it's really achieved is moving the discussion even further away from the original point. Is there a male bias against smart women? Or against older women?
Yes. Amongst a swathe of easily intimidated fellas who clearly value looks and cash above all else. No wonder the incel thing is on the rise.

Mind you, there's a also a very clear reason why the likes of Chris Hemsworth and Jason Momoa and loads of other fellas have succesful media careers, and it's not their bank balance or personality. So it works both ways.
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  #226  
Old 05.03.2020, 12:21
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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Same way men don't think 'wow, check out those child-bearing hips' yet it attracts them nonetheless.
That was literally the favourite chat up line of one of my mates. He was a right lothario before he married, and used that line to find out if a girl had a sense of humour. He got slapped a few times too
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What we have in this thread are responses mostly from women in the upper age ranges, many with children, some single and separated/divorced. Take them with a pinch of salt when it comes to objectivity and factual accuracy.
Are you implying that women over 40 are incapable of being objective and factually accurate?
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There is a reason why women are advised to continue using contraception for two years after they have gone through the menopause.
Exactly.
I had a full set of blood tests done a year ago and my doctor's advice was to keep using contraception because I'm still very fertile.....at 53

As for age gaps, my great, great grandmother was 42 when she married her 23yr old second husband. She was also 5mths pregnant with my great grandmother on her wedding day. She also outlived her second husband by 20yrs.
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  #227  
Old 05.03.2020, 12:26
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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Yes. Amongst a swathe of easily intimidated fellas who clearly value looks and cash above all else. No wonder the incel thing is on the rise.

Mind you, there's a also a very clear reason why the likes of Chris Hemsworth and Jason Momoa and loads of other fellas have succesful media careers, and it's not their bank balance or personality. So it works both ways.
And some useless trivia about Jason Momoa. He‘s 40, his wife, Lisa Bonet, is 52. Useless, as I said, but amusing nevertheless.
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  #228  
Old 05.03.2020, 12:37
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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And some useless trivia about Jason Momoa. He‘s 40, his wife, Lisa Bonet, is 52. Useless, as I said, but amusing nevertheless.
Chris Hemsworth is younger than his wife too.
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  #229  
Old 05.03.2020, 12:40
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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Not in the UK. Average age of first time mums is just over 30. The preference would seem to get an education, career, home first.

Yes eggs deplete over time but that doesn't make FC right. Besides, he's either trolling or entirely clueless. Maybe both.
Yes, I understand that this is your personal assessment of his personality, you state it almost in every thread in which you and him disagree on something.

FC stated that advancing age makes fertility harder for women. That is where he is right. As others point out, it is for a reason.

I also have my personal theory on falling fertility being linked to increasing loyalty, maybe. High fertility being linked to promiscuity. Hormones again and how they are produced and in what amount, in what age.

Of course, people will come up with all sorts of examples, interpretations and theories.

I think older parents aren't a jackpot for kids, tbh. From kids' pov. Fatigue...health issues, nerves, life in general. Just being confronted with mortality that hits home, early in life is tough.
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  #230  
Old 05.03.2020, 12:44
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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Yes, I understand that this is your personal assessment of his personality, you state it almost in every thread in which you and him disagree on something.

FC stated that advancing age makes fertility harder for women. That is where he is right. As others point out, it is for a reason.

I also have my personal theory on falling fertility being linked to increasing loyalty, maybe. High fertility being linked to promiscuity. Hormones again and how they are produced and in what amount, in what age.
Lovely to see you're keeping track of my posts. Sweet. Are you trying to censure what I write?

Fertility has nothing to do with levels of promiscuity other than statistically increasing the chances of pregnancy.
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  #231  
Old 05.03.2020, 13:04
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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On the other hand, the old "arguing against things that weren't actually said" appears to be live and kicking, for example nobody has said that "most women over 40" have difficulty conceiving, yet it hasn't stopped some posters refuting that (unmade) point.
I did say most women over 40 have trouble conceiving - bear in mind we were talking about natural conception, I stand by it.
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  #232  
Old 05.03.2020, 13:18
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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I did say most women over 40 have trouble conceiving - bear in mind we were talking about natural conception, I stand by it.
Can you provide any evidence to back that statement up?

I’m referring to the ‘most’ part of your statement, nobody is disputing that fertility decreases with age.
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  #233  
Old 05.03.2020, 13:35
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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Ooooh la laaaaa...

This thread is worth Friday raised to million.
Yes, you too seem to have a contribution with your last reply.

Poor litespeed doesn't seem to know that EF has turned into a very weird place lately.

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You all still here? I just came back in to turn the lights out, damn, can't believe I'm getting sucked into this discussion again..

My bullet points on fertility:
  • Our fertility expiry dates are there for a reason: children need the parents (or at least the mother) to live long enough until they can be independent, so evolution has put in this safety net. Sorry girls, nature has dealt you a bad hand.
  • Reproducing after 50 may be biologically possible, but maybe not fair to the kids. I feel borderline at having my second at 48, he's going to be leaving high school as I retire.
  • Reproductive desperation (which can occur in both sexes) is a dangerous thing..compromising on a partner to produce offspring will only end in tears, mainly for the kids.
  • Nature is cruel: I know some very young couples who cannot conceive, it's truly heartbreaking. I know also older couples who have had "accidents" in their 40s. Nature is cruel, fairness is a purely human concept.

Right, now will someone turn the lights out?
Don't look back man, don't look back.
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Old 05.03.2020, 13:39
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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I think older parents aren't a jackpot for kids, tbh. From kids' pov. Fatigue...health issues, nerves, life in general. Just being confronted with mortality that hits home, early in life is tough.
On the other hand older parents typically have more money, already have a decent place to live, and lots of other material and also life experience advantages that take some of the pain out of parenting.
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  #235  
Old 05.03.2020, 13:42
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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On the other hand older parents typically have more money, already have a decent place to live, and lots of other material and also life experience advantages that take some of the pain out of parenting.
And more patience. I hear that makes a big difference.
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  #236  
Old 05.03.2020, 13:44
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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And



Is that an impression of your husband when he gets home tonight?
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Old 05.03.2020, 13:49
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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Is that an impression of your husband when he gets home tonight?
I've already sent him a redacted screen shot. He was laughing so hard he had to leave his open plan office.

He says I don't leave him with enough energy for a girlfriend. And a few other things that would mean Chuff isn't likely to be invited over for tea any time soon but he's happy to take him out for a few beers and explain ... many things... to him! Is very funny.
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Old 05.03.2020, 14:06
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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I think to some extent our preferences are guided by previous experiences. We may react negatively to traits (be they smell, looks, timbre of voice) that remind us of people we had bad experiences with in the past. Even if making such a connection is totally irrational as there is no link between the trait and what happened..

There is probably also positive programming over things we like.

This is maybe also why ideals of beauty, attractiveness etc change over time, as we can recognize when studying art from different periods of history.
I agree. Nicely put.
Btw, an interesting read on the subject of beauty, which obviously goes way beyond this discussion, is Umberto Eco's "History of beauty".
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Old 05.03.2020, 14:18
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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I agree. Nicely put.
Btw, an interesting read on the subject of beauty, which obviously goes way beyond this discussion, is Umberto Eco's "History of beauty".
Case in point, my generation probably popularised the phrase "Does my bum look big in this?" The current younger generation now are having bum implants And don't even start me on eyebrows...
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Old 05.03.2020, 14:26
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Re: Swiss men and dating

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I think in the end if your other half can put up with a borderline hysterical, illogical and irrational partner every day then he can indeed teach me a few things about stuff. Mostly patience... patience and tolerance.
There you go again with those words again. Honestly, is that all you know? Your constant need to put me in some kind of box of your devising is very strange. Irrational, hysterical, illogical. I clearly seem to "trigger" you. How odd.

Besides, I thought you rather hysterically (in both senses of the word) declared never to read my posts again? That lasted well.
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