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Old 14.04.2020, 12:05
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Re: He's back!

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Even though I might sound like I am bragging a little at the moment (give me some space, this is a new stage of my life! ), I need some advice on the following "incident": twice a day with my two lovely divorcee neighbours, we have had almost religiously a morning coffee and a glass of wine at 6.00 p.m. on our common yard / car park.


Before anyone jumps at my throat like in a previous thread without knowing all the facts, we each come with our own chair, glass, we disinfect our hands, do all the essential safety measures, I wore a mask during my chemo... we keep SIX meters apart and there is zero common contact of any object whatsoever (the police and fire brigade who do regular checks stopped and lauded us for our sense of neighbourhood AND responsibility, so there you are).
Still, this enables a human contact everyone is craving for, and this has kept our sanity since day one of confinement. The 3 of us really have become great friends and share quite a lot of thoughts, feelings ...with each other and they have obviously been following my "path" with great interest and sound advice. So far, all great.
Then last night, one of them said she disapproved of C. (the Vegan Primary School Teacher) coming to visit me on Easter Sunday (despite all wearing new clothes, masks, gloves, keeping 3 meters apart...I've got a big house!), that I had taken unnecessary risks that could have put my life in danger... C. has come before and this has never been an issue, so why the change of tone? It has left a bitter taste to an otherwise very enjoyable late afternoon. Even my "before-bedtime drop of Whisky" did not taste quite the same (no panic, I have not lost my sense of taste nor smell!). I didn't really know what to reply, do you think they feel themselves put in danger (although I really don't see how)?
Nothing to do with chemo.
Your lady neighbor «likes» you.
It’s a touch of feminine jealousy as she probably sees from the way you speak about your lady primary school teacher, that you are smitten.
Either that or she knows about your latex purchases.
Either way.. she might not like the idea of C. too much.
You are a victim of your success.
Smile and enjoy the attention. 🌸

I very much suggest you read a short short novella called «le choc amoureux».
It will help you navigate peoplés response to the new you 😊
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  #62  
Old 14.04.2020, 12:24
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Re: He's back!

It's a male- female friendship gone complicated? Strange, if anything, they were quite encouraging at the beginning (probably fed up with seeing me looking like a lost soul all the time) but a bit of jealousy is not something that would occur to me, since we are just very good friends and there's certainly been no flirting or ambiguous signals given on my part, even if both neighbours are incredibly good looking, I concede this!
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Old 14.04.2020, 12:51
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Re: He's back!

Glad that all is going well in your recovery.

I think this behaviour is more about themselves than you.

I think the ladies are more in competition with each other - if one is getting more attention insecurity creeps in and usually the more attractive people are, the more it hurts..
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Old 14.04.2020, 13:31
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Re: He's back!

".... knowing a fair bit about chemo (even post chemo) and Covid19 risk, your neighbor was right".

My Oncologist advised me that the immune system doesn't go back to anywhere near normal until 6 weeks post chemo, unfortunately in my case it left the building completely and I ended up in isolation on a drip for 7 days
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Old 14.04.2020, 14:33
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Re: He's back!

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".... knowing a fair bit about chemo (even post chemo) and Covid19 risk, your neighbor was right".

My Oncologist advised me that the immune system doesn't go back to anywhere near normal until 6 weeks post chemo, unfortunately in my case it left the building completely and I ended up in isolation on a drip for 7 days


Mine told me about 3 weeks for my immune system to be back to normal as the white cells count or whatever it was they tested was recovering faster than expected.
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  #66  
Old 14.04.2020, 15:37
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Re: He's back!

I suspect it depends on how aggressive the chemo drugs are. My first 4 cycles were a combo of 3 drugs, aside of total hair loss all I suffered was a bit of mild fatigue. Not so with the second 4 cycles which were a Taxol that completely floored me, I spent almost 4 months bedridden with extreme joint pain and slept for 20 hours a day as I was zombified on Tramadol. I was warned not all patients actually get the 4th cycle as the body sometimes cannot take it - I had the 4th one and it was the one that left me with zero immunity, hence spending a week in a hospital isolation room on a drip. It was boring as hell, I just used to look forward to the next meal. I was in a tower block and the view from my room window was a graveyard

For 2 years after I finished treatment I had to spend a weekend every month in bed with exhaustion. Much as life is difficult for everyone at the moment, I'm super grateful for still being on the planet after 14 years.
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  #67  
Old 14.04.2020, 16:44
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Re: He's back!

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I suspect it depends on how aggressive the chemo drugs are. My first 4 cycles were a combo of 3 drugs, aside of total hair loss all I suffered was a bit of mild fatigue. Not so with the second 4 cycles which were a Taxol that completely floored me, I spent almost 4 months bedridden with extreme joint pain and slept for 20 hours a day as I was zombified on Tramadol. I was warned not all patients actually get the 4th cycle as the body sometimes cannot take it - I had the 4th one and it was the one that left me with zero immunity, hence spending a week in a hospital isolation room on a drip. It was boring as hell, I just used to look forward to the next meal. I was in a tower block and the view from my room window was a graveyard

For 2 years after I finished treatment I had to spend a weekend every month in bed with exhaustion. Much as life is difficult for everyone at the moment, I'm super grateful for still being on the planet after 14 years.


Wow, my treatment was nothing as aggressive as you describe, and in total there must have been 5 days when I felt really awful, the rest of the time just mild fatigue and nausea on and off. Yes, indeed, it makes you super grateful just for being alive!
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  #68  
Old 14.04.2020, 18:17
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Re: He's back!

Things have moved on a lot in 14 years and I think if I was diagnosed now the drugs would be kinder. It really is an experience that makes you view life differently and in many respects that's a good thing
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Old 14.04.2020, 19:20
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Re: He's back!

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Wow, my treatment was nothing as aggressive as you describe, and in total there must have been 5 days when I felt really awful, the rest of the time just mild fatigue and nausea on and off. Yes, indeed, it makes you super grateful just for being alive!
It really does depend on the individual, the chemo and some random variables no one knows. Some people need iron and a white cell boost right off the bat, others need it once, or twice or not at all. And yes, I am thankful to be alive, but on the other hand, I would have been just as happy to have never had cancer 10 years ago. It sucks big time.

The docs are perfecting chemo, dosing and support meds (anti nausea, immune boosters etc) all the time, so the longer you can stay around, the better your chances, for the most part. I'm glad you've come through it and glad you're back, and wish you continued No Evidence of Disease.
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Old 14.04.2020, 21:40
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Re: He's back!

I am glad to hear you are back McTavage! I am so sorry to hear what you went through but I have to say, I love your positive attitude regarding life and how YOU choose to live it going forward .

No one has any clue went you went through and no one has any right to have a say as to how you choose to live your life. I wish you all the best and will be thinking of you!
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Old 14.04.2020, 22:17
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Re: He's back!

Hey Mctavge,

Glad all seems well on your recovery, I listened to this recently and found it utterly fascinating, I think you may too in your situation;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yyt3Do4w7fs

All the best!
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Old 14.04.2020, 22:48
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Re: He's back!

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SHE is the local primary school teacher! We agreed to disagree on that one, although yesterday I made for her, wait for this: a potato nest with truffle oil and shallots, inside which I had put a bunch of wild garlic leaves and a poached egg with tarragon and sorrel butter, then as a main course an Asparagus and wild garlic (again!) flan and oven baked Provençale tomatoes. Pudding was my own special chocolate tart with Whisky icing. She was quite surprised and touched...and said there was no need for her to go to our village restaurant post-confinement crisis!
Is she the one introduced to you by the local pub owner, aka The Shortest Date Ever?

Well, it sounds like there was some fiery chemistry there after all.

Enjoy the good times - love in the time of COVID-19.
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Old 14.04.2020, 23:42
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Re: He's back!

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Is she the one introduced to you by the local pub owner, aka The Shortest Date Ever?

Well, it sounds like there was some fiery chemistry there after all.

Enjoy the good times - love in the time of COVID-19.


Yes, it should have been the shortest date ever! Covid 19 made our paths cross again and things turned out very differently.
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Old 15.04.2020, 20:37
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Re: He's back!

Is it a Swiss tradition? While I understand the Easter Bunny might have been busy over the Easter Week-end and this might explain the delay, I found in front of my door this evening a chocolate bunny...and a pack of Durex condoms! A bit tricky to ask the neighbours if they're involved in this!
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Old 15.04.2020, 20:52
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Re: He's back!

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Is it a Swiss tradition? While I understand the Easter Bunny might have been busy over the Easter Week-end and this might explain the delay, I found in front of my door this evening a chocolate bunny...and a pack of Durex condoms! A bit tricky to ask the neighbours if they're involved in this!
Yes, totally. Every good Swiss neighbour and friend makes presents of condoms, especially at Easter. If you've never received such a gift before, you may now exhale, then pat yourself on the back because you've finally been accepted as belonging here.
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Old 15.04.2020, 20:53
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Re: He's back!

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Is it a Swiss tradition? While I understand the Easter Bunny might have been busy over the Easter Week-end and this might explain the delay, I found in front of my door this evening a chocolate bunny...and a pack of Durex condoms! A bit tricky to ask the neighbours if they're involved in this!
Hey, go for it! Take it over to the neighbors, it can only go 3-ways from there (yay, nay or yay-yay), you lucky Bas...eeh, illegitimate child, you!
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Old 15.04.2020, 21:14
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Re: He's back!

oh come on- please add that 'giggle' button.
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Old 15.04.2020, 23:32
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Re: He's back!

Well, in the end, I did ask the neighbours and despite their full denial, I could see a very cheeky look in one of them. And I thought the Swiss had little humour and were holding back when it came to practical jokes!


Still, a very useful gift...and the pack of condoms too!
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Old 15.04.2020, 23:34
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Re: He's back!

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Yes, totally. Every good Swiss neighbour and friend makes presents of condoms, especially at Easter. If you've never received such a gift before, you may now exhale, then pat yourself on the back because you've finally been accepted as belonging here.


I now know what to hide in my neighbours' flower pots for Easter next year...and it'll be hell of a lot cheaper than artisan chocolates!
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Old 15.04.2020, 23:50
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Re: He's back!

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Well, in the end, I did ask the neighbours and despite their full denial, I could see a very cheeky look in one of them. And I thought the Swiss had little humour and were holding back when it came to practical jokes!


Still, a very useful gift...and the pack of condoms too!
Aww, come on man! You should have gone over, with that skirt youse wear, all commando, a bottle of your cheapest hooch and the box of condom cracked open instead of conversing with this sorry lot.
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