I came across this hilarious spoof trailer for the Wolf of Wall Street in Swiss German. I didn´t quite understand all of it but enough to have a chuckle!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbuPUQxgaWY

A pity there ain't no Swiss German subtitles.

"Amigs schmeisse mer ou mit chline appezeller"

I got my grad to translate it for me. He completed his commercial apprenticeship at CS

Gregi: I‘ am Gregi Pfister, 21... working for CS

That I passed my commercial apprenticeship back then...no one actually believed it.

Background: Gregi you stupid idiot, how did you do it

Gregi: With my first big salary, I directly bought a car...you need in Zurich! Yeah Maan!

But my boss said, a car is basic stuff in Zurich...

Gregis Boss: Gregi you need go to the Stock Exchange, you need to go trading!!

In your small office you don‘t catch the big fishes...you know what fishes are?

Gregi: Yeah, they swimm in the water

Gregis Boss: No fishes are banknotes Gregi that swim around in Switzerland and you just catch them. Schwubedischwup

Gregi: And that is how i did it, even for my girlfriend I bought a dress made out of banknotes only.

Girlfriend: That looks shit Gregi....

Gregis Friend: Actually I like it!

Gregi: But ofc that was not enough for her...you know women, to get her pussy I needed to make more money...MADONNA!

Then I bought her boat, hello guys this is my boat!

Cop: Did you declare that to the tax authorities...

Gregi: Klaro!

Here some food and the money you lack because you are only officers ...Cheers!

The most important in Zurich.. throw your money and throw parties! Moneeeey!

The money from work you just take it, because when I am busy and need to rush home, I need the money to pay all the penalties.... your money!

How does it work at UBS?

UBS Guy: Sometimes I take a suitcase and...

Gregi: And the you throw it out of the window?

UBS Guy: Yes but sometimes we also throw tiny appenzellers... One two three!

Gregi: That sounds pretty fun, please bring two of them over for our next apèro.

This is how it works at Bahnhofstrasse....Cocaaaaine!

Nice parties, good chicks and fat cars!

Ofc even here not everything works out well (background: we need drugs!!!!), but when we bribed the cops, payed the lawyers and survived the overdose cocaine...then it is actually pretty GRANADE!

Singing Part:

Where does the bonus go?...in our pocket it always comes more, the bonus comes in our pocket, in our pocket it always comes more.....Haha, actually crazy when you think about it!

Gregi: Ich bi dä Gregi Pfister ... 21 ... schafe bi dä CS.
Dass ich damals mini KV Lehr bestande ha,n hät eigentlich niemert so richtig chöne glaube.

Background: He Gregi Du dumme Siech, wie häsch das gmacht?

Gregi: Mit mim erschte grosse Lohn hani grad mal än Charre kauft. Das bruchsch s'Züri. Jaaa, Mann.

Aber so äs Auto säg s'Züri Pipifax meint min Chef.

Gregis Boss: Gregi Du muesch a d'Börse. Du muesch go trade. I dim chline Büro fangsch kei grossi Fisch. Weisch was sind Fisch?

Gregi: Ja die.. Ja die schwümmet im Wasser.

Gregis Boss: Nei! Fisch sind Geldnötli, Gregi, die schwümmt ume i dä Schwiiz. Schwuppedischwuppedi. Das holsch dr eifach.

Gregi: Und so hanis gmacht.

Sogar miniere Fründin hani äs Chleid gschenkt, uss puure Nötli.

Girlfriend: Das gseht scheisse uss Gregi.

Gregis Friend: Also ich finds 'nice'!

Gregi: Aber das hätere natürli nöd glanget. Känsch ja d'Fraue. Damit sii mi a ihre Schnägg glah hät, hani müesse meh Geld scheffle... MADONA.

Dänn hani mr äs Boot kauft. Grüezi mitenand, das isch mis Boot.

Cop: Händ Sii das dänn dä Stüür aghee?

Gregi: Klaro!

Da öppis Zässe. Und s'Geld wo oi fehlt will ihr nur Beamti sind. Cheers.

S'Wischtigschte s'Züri isch mit Geld schmeisse und Party schmeisse.

Chöööölelelellelee.

S'Geld wo bim Schaffe umä liit packsch eifach ii. Wänn i 'busy' bin und nachher heistress, bruchi doch Nötli zum Buesse zahlle. Dini Nötli!

Wie lauft das bi dä UBS?

UBS Guy: I nim namig Kofferä ...

Gregi: ... und dänn schmeisset ers usäm Faischter usää, oder?

UBS Guy: Ja aber .. aber namigs schmeisset mr bi ü .. üs au namig mit chline Appezöller.

Eis, zwei, hose[bei].. drüüü.

Gregi: Das tönt cheibe glatt. Bring emal zwei vo denne verbii für euise nöchst Apero.

Ja so laufts a dä Bahnhofstrass. Kockseee.

Gueti Partys. Geili Chatze. Geili Schlittä.

Klar, au bi euis laufts nöd immer rund *mir bruuchet Stoff* . Aber wenn mr die Bulle gschmiert händ, die Awält zahlt händ und d'Überdosis Kocks überlebet, denn isch es eingentli zimli ... Granatä!

Singing part: Mmmm, mh, mhmhmhmhh,
wo chunt dä Bonus anne?
I euise Täsche chunt immer, immer mäh,
dä Bonus, dä chunt i ösi Täsche innä,
i ösie Täsche chunt immer, immer mäh,
dä Bonus, dä chunt i ösi Täsche innä,
.. verruckt wens dr überleisch. He He He He.


Note: 'die', 'wie' etc. has du be read with diphthong (ië, or iä), not with a long i as in Standard German.

__________________
"Okay, I just hope we don't wake up on Mars or something surrounded by millions of little squashy guys."

that's 2 minutes of my life i'm never getting back

I find the original trailer more convincing