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  #21  
Old 13.08.2020, 10:28
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

I'm an old man, live alone, and 6 of my 8 neighbouring families, all Swiss, have told me personally that if I need help, especially in this heat all I have to do is say.
That's not passive aggressive.
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  #22  
Old 13.08.2020, 10:31
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

I wouldn't say the locals have no balls engaging in conflict. It is simply a different approach than the one I would expect in other, more "passionate" countries. Handling conflict is highly dependent on culture, personality, and respect awareness.

When I asked my neighbor why she left a post-it instead of talking to us directly, she said: "Well... that's how we do it here" and was surprised that I did the same. This led to a nice conversation about cultural integration, life in Switzerland, stereotypes, and politics which ended in having an even nicer dinner at our place and finding out we have a lot in common.


And yes, she is very, very, veryyyyyyyyy Swiss. And once she starts talking...you can't stop her.
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Old 13.08.2020, 10:33
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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I'm an old man, live alone, and 6 of my 8 neighbouring families, all Swiss, have told me personally that if I need help, especially in this heat all I have to do is say.
That's not passive aggressive.
That's aggressive aggressive, they are trying to interfere with your life by being good neighbours, you should start a thread on it.
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Old 13.08.2020, 10:34
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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I have noticed this shyness though - ie if people feel like they don't know enough about an issue, they will not interfere, in all modesty. It is a good thing, I think. It is not selfish nor passive. Just not presumptuous.
Yea, but when a teenage girl is getting choked on a tram, or a mother is slapped during a confrontation with a stranger (non-Swiss) in a public bathroom, or some Japanese tourists are being verbally assaulted for their race, there's no time to be presumptuous.

Just a few incidents I had to step in on while witnessing more able (i.e. men) people around to help...
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Old 13.08.2020, 10:36
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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I misread that as "mourning ceremony" - and then assumed you'd had dog put down and daughter shipped off to boarding school. You know - really make the neighbour feel guilty.

This is genius! .
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Old 13.08.2020, 10:40
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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I'm an old man, live alone, and 6 of my 8 neighbouring families, all Swiss, have told me personally that if I need help, especially in this heat all I have to do is say.
That's not passive aggressive.
It is very kind. We do it for eachother too here which makes up for having zero family here, in some ways.. I am glad you have such nice community around.

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Yea, but when a teenage girl is getting choked on a tram, or a mother is slapped during a confrontation with a stranger (non-Swiss) in a public bathroom, or some Japanese tourists are being verbally assaulted for their race, there's no time to be presumptuous.

Just a few incidents I had to step in on while witnessing more able (i.e. men) people around to help...
I am really glad you did. I do everytime too. But so do my Swiss friends and most of my colleagues, I don't think it is a CH vs. the world thing. I think people here wait to be asked..once I do they surprise me with how long they have been planning to help and got it all figured out already. My annoying problem is thatI am not used to asking for help nor do I know how, sometimes.
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  #27  
Old 13.08.2020, 10:41
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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Yea, but when a teenage girl is getting choked on a tram, or a mother is slapped during a confrontation with a stranger (non-Swiss) in a public bathroom, or some Japanese tourists are being verbally assaulted for their race, there's no time to be presumptuous.

Just a few incidents I had to step in on while witnessing more able (i.e. men) people around to help...
Would you prefer if the men said, "sit down woman, this is for a man to deal with"? It's everyones responsibility to react to these things, don't hold a single sex to a higher standard.
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  #28  
Old 13.08.2020, 11:08
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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Would you prefer if the men said, "sit down woman, this is for a man to deal with"? It's everyones responsibility to react to these things, don't hold a single sex to a higher standard.
No, they should join me. When a large group of teenage boys chokes an inebriated teenage girl late at night on a tram, a man should automatically react with me. Why should they just let the thin American girl run into the crowd alone while they sit and watch or look away? There's no debate that a man or several men could be far more helpful physically at stopping the situation than myself. Fortunately, an Italian man from the back of the tram eventually joined me.
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Old 13.08.2020, 11:12
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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From my experience the Swiss typically have no balls and stab each other in the back, friendly to your face, but in private they talk negatively about you and even their own "friends".
No. That's just you.
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Old 13.08.2020, 11:13
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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No, they should join me. When a large group of teenage boys chokes an inebriated teenage girl late at night on a tram, a man should automatically react with me. Why should just let the thin American girl run into the crowd alone while they sit and watch or look away?
I agree that people should act, I disagree with your sentiment that men should be the more capable ones to act. It should be a persons duty, not a mans duty or a womans duty to do something.
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  #31  
Old 13.08.2020, 11:26
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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I agree that people should act, I disagree with your sentiment that men should be the more capable ones to act. It should be a persons duty, not a mans duty or a womans duty to do something.
When it comes to physical needs, especially when a woman is attacked, a man will be able to handle it better much better than a woman. Stupid argument...
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Old 13.08.2020, 11:29
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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When it comes to physical needs, especially when a woman is attacked, a man will be able to handle it better much better than a woman. Stupid argument...
When it comes to stopping a situation, physical intervention can escalate the situation. Sexism is sexism.
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  #33  
Old 13.08.2020, 12:12
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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When it comes to physical needs, especially when a woman is attacked, a man will be able to handle it better much better than a woman. Stupid argument...
Absolutely

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  #34  
Old 13.08.2020, 12:49
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

Has anyone pointed out the obvious flaw in this post? One is a photo of a living human being and the other is a cartoon image.

I think the problem Susie-Q is facing is that it is (apparently) forbidden to generalise on this forum. This is simply because, for every condition, there are exceptions.

For example, when you mention that smoking causes premature death, some bright spark chirps up with, "My Grandad lived to 98 years old and he smoked eighty Woodbine a day".

This does not mean that smoking doesn't, statistically, cause premature death.

It's the same reason, that, in most cases, a man could fend off an attacker better than a woman simply because, on average, men are stronger than women.

This does not (obviously) mean that all men are stronger and more able than most women.
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  #35  
Old 13.08.2020, 12:58
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

Indeed...the irony in the men on this forum wanting to jump on the "sexism" bandwagon completely baffles me.
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  #36  
Old 13.08.2020, 13:02
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

Reading this thread and then this comes on my YouTube playlist

I swear Google is spying on me.

Last edited by MusicChick; 13.08.2020 at 13:07. Reason: fixed you tube link
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Old 13.08.2020, 13:06
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

The Smiths & The Cure...perhaps they are spying on you, or perhaps you just have good taste.
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  #38  
Old 13.08.2020, 13:17
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

Lucky boy, with a mom like that.
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  #39  
Old 13.08.2020, 13:20
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

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No, they should join me. When a large group of teenage boys chokes an inebriated teenage girl late at night on a tram, a man should automatically react with me. Why should they just let the thin American girl run into the crowd alone while they sit and watch or look away? There's no debate that a man or several men could be far more helpful physically at stopping the situation than myself. Fortunately, an Italian man from the back of the tram eventually joined me.
What happens most of time is that people doesn't realize there's a problem that fast. After all, no one is expecting trouble on a tram, it's stressful to live at that level of awareness. It's not lack of interest, it just takes time to realize there's a problem.

On being helpful physically, I used to think like this when I was 20 but the real world is a bit more complex. As an average man with average height and build, sometimes getting into the argument worked as a deterrent. Sometimes the other guy(s) were just looking for a fight and I got my ass kicked. Sometimes, men and women are able to de-escalate a conflict that might end awfully just by talking. So, why go first for physical intimidation instead of talking? It might end in one guy being sent to the slaughterhouse.
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  #40  
Old 13.08.2020, 13:34
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Re: Swiss people. The masters of passive aggressive notes

We were able to deescalate it without any violence whatsoever. But common sense will tell you if one group of men is attacking an innocent woman, why would they not do the same to a lone woman who is suddenly there to deescalate the situation?

This is really ridiculous... I'm not responding anymore.
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