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  #21  
Old 16.08.2020, 22:10
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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Have you tried all the landlords in the vicinity? Go on foot, look at every building, try to get into the hallway or talk to people to ask who the landlord is.
Often in Ticino apartments are individually owned and rented.

Tom
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  #22  
Old 16.08.2020, 22:14
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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Often in Ticino apartments are individually owned and rented.

Tom
Then that's all the more people to approach.
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  #23  
Old 16.08.2020, 22:23
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

If your landlord finds her difficult, by all means make a direct complaint. It is pretty hard to get rid of tenants in Switzerland unless they‘re misbehaving, which she clearly is. Your landlord will probably be grateful to you
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Old 16.08.2020, 22:28
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

I can't help but wonder what her real issue with you might be, after reading what you wrote, when you had caught her saying: “he's just a foreigner that doesn’t understand anything.”

I know there are a lot or some people here who just don't like foreigners. SVP and all that, I guess. Hopefully that's not the case with her, but the fact that she had to refer to you as being a "foreigner" to her friend(s) made me raise an eyebrow.

Anyways... You had also mentioned that she complained about the smell of your spaghetti bolognese. If you do want to try to drive her out, maybe you could make that for dinner every night -- especially when her windows are open.

It sounds like she's the type of person who expects the world to revolve around her. I wouldn't hesitate to stand up to her and put her in her place, to be honest. Sometimes that's what you have to do to get someone to stop bullying or harassing you. Good luck!
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Old 16.08.2020, 22:31
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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You had also mentioned that she complained about the smell of your spaghetti bolognese.
As bolognese contains nothing that smells, I find this hard to believe.

It doesn't contain spaghetti, either.

Tom
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Old 16.08.2020, 22:39
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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As bolognese contains nothing that smells, I find this hard to believe.

It doesn't contain spaghetti, either.

Tom
Well, then, you haven't smelled my Italian mother-in-law's bolognese
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Old 16.08.2020, 22:42
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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Well, then, you haven't smelled my Italian mother-in-law's bolognese
What does it contain that smells?

Tom
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Old 16.08.2020, 22:45
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

Bring her flowers and then say your peace.

If that doesn't work, follow Doropfiz's advice. It's spot on.
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Old 16.08.2020, 22:54
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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What does it contain that smells?

Tom
I'm not exactly sure, but I do know that she puts some kind of sausage in it (along with the regular ground meat) and also some anchovies or something. My husband once joked that I don't want to know exactly what's in it. But it does really stink. The way I make mine is much different from hers.
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Old 17.08.2020, 00:13
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

You’re in Ticino. Look on the bright side. You could be living with Tom!
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Old 17.08.2020, 07:13
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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I’ve put off writing this post for quite some time, but my family and I are just getting sick of it, and I need to rant and seek advice.

I moved into our apartment with my wife and daughter in 2016. We’re on floor 1, we had a couple with an infant above us, a quiet nurse beside us, and our neighbors from hell above them (not directly above us). When we moved here, the tenant above us smoked. I also smoked. My smoke was never an issue, and they smoked cigars. Eventually they moved out and the apartment above my balcony became vacant for about two years. When we moved in, our neighbor from hell smoked on her balcony, and the smoke frequently went into our apartment. My wife doesn't smoke, and this annoyed her, but she didn't do anything about it. I guess she stopped smoking at some point. After two years, our neighbor from hell moved into the apartment directly above us.

Our neighbor from hell started off as simply a nuisance. She is a pensioner, who has a somewhat younger husband that had a job as a traffic director until he lost his job recently due to COVID-19. She's an older, retired lady who literally has nothing to do all day (her words). This tenant is the type of person that will start talking to you in the hallway and won't let you go for 15 minutes. She does this to my wife, and the other tenants. She does this with the hired cleaning lady who comes around once a week to clean the building, garden, etc. She talks to her for the entire four hours that the lady is here. She talks loudly. The hallway echos. We can hear every word that's said for four hours weekly. We can hear her when we're in our bedroom. We can hear her in our bathroom. We can hear her all the time.

My wife sometimes wouldn't leave the apartment because this neighbor was in the hall and didn't want to be terrorized by her.

She's also the type of person that is never happy, and always has something to complain about - be it something in her life, a problem with the apartment, a problem with another tenant, people in the neighborhood, etc. She enjoys badmouthing people to others. The association that owns our building is not happy with this tenant, and from what I've overheard, they don't want her there, but she's done nothing to warrant being kicked out. Anecdote time; this tenant barged in on a meeting of the association to complain about something (highly irregular), and the president of the association lost his shit on her and even threw a chair at her and now she's suing them. I don't blame this guy, frankly. It's hard to understand the depth of this situation without living it day to day.

Once my wife was coming home from work and was on her cell phone taking a very important phone call, and this tenant started yelling for my wife's attention to tell us that there wasn't any hot water working. My wife signalled to her that she was on the phone (in an effort to get away and have her stop talking), and this tenant just started yelling my wife's name, to which my wife freaked on her, after 3 years of constantly being bothered everytime we come home, said, "I'M ON THE PHONE", and came into our house.

Since that day, the tenant has stopped talking to us altogether. She has a dog my daughter likes to play with outside; now she doesn't let her. (Hey, it’s her dog, she can do what she wants.)

I quit smoking about a year ago, but when I did smoke, I was usually smoking about one cigarette every hour or two. Maybe more or less - depends. I have a 9 year old daughter and would never smoke in the house. We have a single balcony. When I'm out there, I'm silent, I never play music or anything. I try to be as low-key as possible when I smoke regardless of where I am. This tenant who has now moved in above us, apparently, had a problem with my smoking. She has not said anything to us directly, but every time I’d go out to smoke, I can hear her above me, on her balcony, complaining to I don't know who about the fact that I'm "always smoking". Then she starts slamming her balcony door closed. It seems she spends her entire day out on the balcony. There's not a single time I've gone out that she isn't out there. She eats all of her meals out there, too. She even made fun of me to guests when she thought I couldn’t hear, saying in local dialect, “he's just a foreigner that doesn’t understand anything”.

One morning, I was awoken to the sound of this tenant bad-mouthing me to the weekly cleaning lady directly outside our bedroom window about my smoking. I've lived here longer than she's lived above me. She knew I smoked before she moved in. Ever since that small altercation with my wife has she started to act like this towards us. For years we were bombarded by her every time we left our apartment, we're awoken by her voice often. I was suddenly made to feel like I'm a bad person for doing something I've always done.

One night in January, they had some friends over for dinner. My daughter was trying to sleep, but you could hear every word of the four peoples conversation in her room as if they were on the other side of a thin wall - and this building is pure concrete. By 23:00, and it hadn’t stopped, my daughter asked me if she could go upstairs to talk to them to ask them to be quiet. I figured, well, what’s the worst that could happen? She won’t yell at a 9-year-old. Wrong.

My daughter, who is a sweetheart, said in the kindest, most polite way possible, if they could please be a little more quiet, she couldn’t sleep. This neighbor from hell berated her and spoke to her as if she was some sort of enemy storming her castle. My daughter immediately started to cry and ran back to our apartment. (I was waiting in the hallway) The neighbor proceeded to yell and scream at the top of her lungs for another 45 minutes, stopping her feet on the floor. I made a huge mistake allowing my daughter to take that from her - I just didn’t think anyone could be so rude and inconsiderate towards a child.

But it doesn’t stop there. Any time I cook, like tonight, for example, Spaghetti bolognese, she's out there complaining as loudly as possible that she can’t stand smelling our cooking. It’s summer, it's hot. Why in god’s name do I have to completely shut myself out to appease her sense of smell?

On top of this -- I can’t stress this enough -- she never… stops… talking. Again, it's summer, we have to have our windows open - and we can hear every word she says inside her own apartment - she's just that loud. There’s no respite. We can’t enjoy a moment of peace or quiet on our balcony - she's either on hers talking loudly and complaining about everything under the sun, or inside her apartment talking loudly, incessantly. When she's inside, she walks with a lead foot. We hear every step she makes. We’ve also been made aware that she has said untrue things about us to people in the neighborhood, but we can’t say for SURE it was her, and to whom, and exactly what. Just rumors that came back to us. I can’t stand this.

This neighbor also makes it her duty to routinely call the apartment administrator and tell them every single thing we do wrong, according to her. Thankfully, because of our business and the fact that we’re actually pretty model tenants, the administrator takes everything with a grain of salt because she knows how frivolous this neighbor can be. From what we know, they’ve stopped taking her calls as she calls multiple times per week.

There is no talking to this person. There’s no bargaining. There’s no reasoning. If the people who own our building won’t do anything about her, I’m not sure what chance we have in reasoning. We’ve started a business in a building next to our apartment, and we’ve done an official change of destination for this building (which is also owned and rented by our same landlord). For this reason, we are also beyond “just moving”. My daughter has her school friends here, we can’t move.

We’re just at wits end with this person. We’ve found ourselves changing our habits and routines just to avoid this person, avoid their sensibilities, but it’s just become too much. We don’t know what to do. We’re worried about the fact that she may be saying untrue things about us potentially damaging our business reputation simply because she hates us -- and I have a strong suspicion that it’s because I’m an immigrant.
So you send your 9 year old to up to do the dirty work. Unbelievable!
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  #32  
Old 17.08.2020, 08:18
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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Dont worry an EF veteran will be a long shortly to suggest you write her a registered letter, join the tenant association and call your legal insurance.
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Thank you, I needed that laugh.
I don't know, it seems you're dismissing every advice here. So what is it, is the story real or it's funny to see all the forum legends crawl over each other to give advice?

The character you depicted is so grotesque it seems straight from a horror movie - the stalker next door kinda. If it's for real, I hope you'll find the right solution. If not, well, enjoy the social experiment....
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  #33  
Old 17.08.2020, 08:23
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

A good thrashing might help with such people
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Old 17.08.2020, 09:12
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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You had also mentioned that she complained about the smell of your spaghetti bolognese. If you do want to try to drive her out, maybe you could make that for dinner every night -- especially when her windows are open.
My goodness, when I read stories like this, I get so nervous that all of our neighbors must hate us. We cook every meal! We remark about how none of them ever seem to cook as we don't ever smell anything. Do they just eat cold meats and cheeses all the time? Naturally, I think our food smells wonderful...but I think bolognese must smell good too.

So sorry OP. In my opinion, the best mode for this lady is to be dominantly assertive and simultaneously dismissive of her as if she doesn't matter. She seems like the chihuahua who likes to stand at the fence and bark until the big dog scares her enough to go back into her house. She also seems like the type who likes to get on your nerves if she knows she gets on your nerves. Ignore her at any opportunity, but if she truly invades your personal space, let her know she is not welcome and her behavior is not acceptable.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me here, but unless you want to escalate it legally or move...it is the only way. I would also try and schmooze in the nicest way possible with your other neighbors so they are aware of the situation. I'm sure they are equally annoyed as you are.

Wishing you the best of luck!
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Old 17.08.2020, 09:24
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

Sorry to hear your story. We had some similar situation, not to that extent, but had even found the lady hearing behind our front door when opening it; what a surprise! There's not much you can do, but we found some relief by doing legal things that were annoying for her. For example, cooking fish, barbequing in our terrace, parking our old car to the very limit of our parking bay and preventing her from entering her car... It didn't help in any way to ease the situation, but at least we felt, somehow, that we were counter-attacking her.
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  #36  
Old 17.08.2020, 09:33
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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What does it contain that smells?
You start by frying vegetables (garlic, onion, carrots, sellery, oil -> "soffritto"), tomatos and meat come later.
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  #37  
Old 17.08.2020, 09:47
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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You start by frying vegetables (garlic, onion, carrots, sellery, oil -> "soffritto"), tomatos and meat come later.
I think he's got a problem with the term "spaghetti bolognaise". Sure, it's not an Italian invention, but it's a true dish cooked throughout the world, and it contains spaghetti.

Other, 'recent' dishes include Chicken Tikka Masala which is basically chicken tikka with a yoghurt-based 'gravy' and the Italian Ciabatta, which was invented in 1982 to combat the possible inroads into Italy of the French baguette.

Food is not static - it evolves.
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Old 17.08.2020, 11:13
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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You start by frying vegetables (garlic, onion, carrots, sellery, oil -> "soffritto"), tomatos and meat come later.
No garlic in bolognese.

https://www.greatitalianchefs.com/re...se-ragu-recipe

Tom
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Old 17.08.2020, 11:32
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

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No garlic in bolognese.
There is in "spaghetti bolognese" (read my post above yours).

You're thinking of a different dish, namely Bolognese ragù.


I suppose you think Swiss Gipfeli are just badly-made French Croissants?
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Old 17.08.2020, 13:14
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Re: Our neighbor from hell

you sent your kid to tell them to keep it down?????? take a long hard look at yourself first
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