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Old 14.10.2020, 12:38
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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You need to teach her what to do in that situation.

One of mine did that once (decided to explore the road next to her normal route, got turned around etc).

* She knew her address, and the address of her school, and our phone number

* She knew to ask an older lady or couple how to get there

* Failing that she could see the nearby shopping centre from almost anywhere and knew how to get home from there, or to ask in Migros for help

(She did option two - found an old couple, who escorted her home)

Thanks,

Its directly what I started to tell her after understanding the situation..

We both got our great lesson today
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:42
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Nitpicking, but...

A bit over the top there?
You expect your future 50 y/o "child" to let you know of their daily schedule?
My mother does, and if she doesn't know then she wants to hear everything that happened to me in real time...
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:43
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Sound like a very different setup to school around here..

My 7 year old takes the bus and doesn't see the teacher until she enters the class, by herself.. The teachers don't take the kids from the parents?

That's the bit I don't get.. but hey
My kid didn't take the bus as its not that far, my husband walked her to the school till the entrance, then the teacher took her inside, after that my husband left for the groceries knowing that our girl already inside the school with her teacher

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The 'What ifs' are normal for parents. kids don't usually know about those...



Tell her off sternly, send the message that it's absolutely not Ok for her to just leave school without telling her teacher.



she learnt her lesson today. She will probably never do it again.


In my culture, there is an age where we let children get 'lost' - either at a large park or in a shopping centre. If they wander away from us, we don't let them see us...they need to feel lost....of course, we are still watching them... but they need to feel that fear of being lost, so they realise it's a serious thing and their parents are not aways present to rescue them.

Thanks,
As a parents, the feeling of "ifs" was hard enough for us.

I keep reminding her that it's something that she should never do again.

Both her and us parent got our lesson today

Love the way your culture teaching their kids for this thing..
Maybe we will try as well..

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When a young kid is left in school custody then they better keep a watch on it at all times. I'd recommend sending at least an email if not a printed letter with the account of what happened to the school direction so that there is a trace left.

Maybe the school should improve their procedures. Not every kid has a parent who is at home. Not every kid might be so lucky with a stranger.
Actually, if you "loose" your own kid on your watch you might in the worst case have unpleasant encounters with child protection services if reported.

Thanks,
Me and my husband believe that the moment we give our kid to the teacher's hand at school than our kid is the teacher's (school) responsibility for those school hour.
We believe that our kid is in the right hand and save place till the moment we pick her up back home later.

However today was special, our kid feels extremely uncomfortable than decided to open the door and walk away (the door wasn't locked)

And honestly I don't feel it's the right thing to not inform the parent directly that their kid is missing for more than 20 mins, unless she really didn't notice that the kid wasn't there for all those time (the class wasn't big to not notice one is missing actually)

I asked my husband to make it official with the school, meant to have a meeting or sent an email to take this kind of incident more seriously, so there's trace left like you said as not everyone is lucky from any kind unwanted incident.

telling the kids about what to do and not to do is another side thing that we directly do Base on our instinct as parent even without anyone asking

But the prevention from teacher (school) side during the school hour is a must as well.

Last edited by roegner; 14.10.2020 at 14:06. Reason: Merging consecutive posts
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Old 14.10.2020, 13:53
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

As a teacher, I must say this kind of situation is pretty nightmarish.

I can imagine that the the teacher was welcoming each child and starting the morning lessons pretty normally. It wouldn’t have crossed her mind that a child might want to escape, after all school is not a prison! Then she must have noticed you daughter was not there anymore: was she in the toilet? Among all the fuss of starting a class, minutes can pass by quickly until you really start to worry. Honestly, I feel for the teacher there, what a fright it must have been for her!

I still remember when a few days ago, on the first day of school, a student of mine asked to go to the toilet because she had a tummy ache. I of course said yes, but the kid never came back! Fo some reason, she was feeling so anxious from her school day that she simply went home without telling anybody. Legally I was in charge of her, and if anything had happened to her I would have been responsible. But how can you imagine and thus prevent such a thing workmen’s happening ?

In your shoes, I would give the tell off of the century to my daughter. But I would also plan a meeting with her and the teacher so that she can explain why she’s not happy at school and what can be done about it. Plus all the other excellent advice about teaching her her name, address etc.
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Old 14.10.2020, 16:16
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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I have three kids, and have taught many many children. Our family rule is you must always communicate - where you are going, who you are with, and when you will coming home. For any age and any stage of life.
Same. Although gradually relaxed over time - except for when they'll be home. And of course, no longer applies when they're not living at home.

My daughter didn't make it to kindergarten once. Around here, they walk their themselves. The teacher called us about 20 minutes after the start to ask where she is, my wife went out and found her - she was still playing with the kitten that had distracted her. She was told sternly by us and the teacher than she must go straight to and from kindergarten. She never did it again.

20 minutes seems about right. We live in a very safe part of the world. You might as well say "what if we lived in inner city London and she'd done this". What matters is making sure it doesn't happen again.

If the OP's kid had actually been taken in by the class teacher, as stated, then the teacher had responsibility for ensuring that there were no "escapes". It can't possibly be the girl's parents' fault.
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Legally I was in charge of her, and if anything had happened to her I would have been responsible.
Exactly.

On a lighter note, when my son was quite small, my wife asked him "What's your address?" He answered "But Mummy, I don't wear a dress".
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Old 14.10.2020, 16:18
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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As a teacher, I must say this kind of situation is pretty nightmarish.

I can imagine that the the teacher was welcoming each child and starting the morning lessons pretty normally. It wouldn’t have crossed her mind that a child might want to escape, after all school is not a prison! Then she must have noticed you daughter was not there anymore: was she in the toilet? Among all the fuss of starting a class, minutes can pass by quickly until you really start to worry. Honestly, I feel for the teacher there, what a fright it must have been for her!

I still remember when a few days ago, on the first day of school, a student of mine asked to go to the toilet because she had a tummy ache. I of course said yes, but the kid never came back! Fo some reason, she was feeling so anxious from her school day that she simply went home without telling anybody. Legally I was in charge of her, and if anything had happened to her I would have been responsible. But how can you imagine and thus prevent such a thing workmen’s happening ?

In your shoes, I would give the tell off of the century to my daughter. But I would also plan a meeting with her and the teacher so that she can explain why she’s not happy at school and what can be done about it. Plus all the other excellent advice about teaching her her name, address etc.

Thanks,
From your reply I can see a new view from teacher side.
However when she calls the second we're going to press the call button to call her, she didn't feel sorry at all but instead blaming us a parent for what happened. It makes my husband furious n up till now he still angry with her attitude seeing that our kid is her responsibility once she took her inside the school.

I understand that it's not easy to watch the kids but the point is there's risk for the kids safety.

Prevention by locking the door should be the first thing to do. But she forgot to do it, that's what she admitted.

About telling my girl, I did the moment it happened as I of course doesn't want her to repeat the same thing again or any kind like that that can risk her safety.

My girl just told me few mins ago that she stop the guy herself and asked him if he can help to take her up home, she told him her family name, her name (for the ring button) n floor number, she also told him my name.

I myself would like for a formal meeting with the teacher but my husband said better not because he think the teacher will just push all the blame to us like in the phone and she's able to do that. So my husband said let's close the case here unless she (the teacher) tried to bring it up again.
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Old 14.10.2020, 16:20
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Prevention by locking the door should be the first thing to do. But she forgot to do it, that's what she admitted.
Then definitely not your fault. I bet she'll not forget again in a hurry!
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Old 14.10.2020, 16:29
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Love the way your culture teaching their kids for this thing..
Maybe we will try as well..

It's not optional, it is part of the criteria for moving up the classes...
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Old 14.10.2020, 16:40
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

So was it just the one kid that escaped or several? The title put me in mind of some kind of mass breakout after one too many healthy snacks being offered at elevenses

I would only advise locking the door if there is another route of escape in case of an emergency. If the only person able to let the kids out were to be incapacitated for whatever reason and the children needed to be able to leave to get help, a locked door would be pretty traumatic.

As for the teacher's reaction, the Swiss mindset is very much that by the end of the first year of kindergarten, kids should be able to walk to and from kindergarten on their own as well as actually stay there. If the teacher was blaming you it was probably also because she likely disagrees with you still accompanying your daughter and maybe even sees it as spoiling her.

On the plus side, learning to be able to do things on her own and seeing that you trust her to do it will help improve your daughter's self-confidence. This is also part of the Swiss education ethos, doing hard and sometimes even scary things was certainly part of my school time here in Canton Zurich. The sense of accomplishment you get from overcoming a (more often than not self-imposed) boundary is certainly worth it.
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Old 14.10.2020, 17:34
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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......

I have three kids, and have taught many many children. Our family rule is you must always communicate - where you are going, who you are with, and when you will coming home. For any age and any stage of life.
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Nitpicking, but...

A bit over the top there?
You expect your future 50 y/o "child" to let you know of their daily schedule?
C'mon, now, dbucar, you know what swisspea means -- she termed this a "family rule", clearly indicating that it applies to those in a single household. It is certainly not too much to ask that those who are living in the same family home afford the others the courtesy of letting them know where they are going and what time they will be returning. I agree with swisspea that this should apply regardless of the ages of those in the home. If Grandma lives with her adult child and leaves to run errands, isn't it prudent for the adult child to know what time to expect Grandma's return in order to determine whether or not something might have happened to her?

No reasonable person would have the expectation of an adult child living on their own to inform their parent of the ins and outs of their daily schedule.
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Old 14.10.2020, 17:50
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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While the incident might have given you a shock, I'd like to encourage you to teach your 6-year-old, immediately, how to ring the right bell to open the door. That's a gap that I think needs filling. I've commonly seen it done that parents stick a recognisable coloured sticker on their bell, as soon as their children, who can't yet read, leave the home to do anything without the parents.

It's also a good idea to teach each child to be able to recite their own name and address, and the full names of their parents, and the phone number of at least one of them, and possibly the name of the parent's employer.
I had a front door key at 6 & took public transport on my own. Perhaps teach kids to take some responsibility themselves?
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Old 14.10.2020, 18:19
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Nitpicking, but...

A bit over the top there?
You expect your future 50 y/o "child" to let you know of their daily schedule?
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My mother does, and if she doesn't know then she wants to hear everything that happened to me in real time...
Same as Ato. It's not just the social aspect. We live on different continents and need to know roughly where the other is in case of emergency.

OP - I'm glad your daughter is safe. You've all learned a lot with this experience.
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Old 14.10.2020, 18:19
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

A 6 year old knows that running back home from school is a no-no and both parents and school will freak out.

Being stern or punitive now will not solve anything, next time she'll run away into a park to take a break.

OP, you gotta figure out why she hates being there. What does the little one feel about the teacher/kids? Is she being bullied? Does she have a friend there? What is your attitude towards school? Her dad's? Is she in any way worried about you?

How about inviting little school buddies over for some cake baking. Let's see if the social glue heps, you'll get their vibe.

You sound to me as overprotective but I don't wanna sound harsh, I understand you.

That said - I do not think the school can lock the front entrance for fire hasard. You just gotta do your homework and figure out why she dislikes her class.
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Old 14.10.2020, 18:20
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

Personally, as a teacher, a mother and grandmother, locking the door is just not the answer and very unsafe.
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Old 14.10.2020, 18:20
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

You've gotten excellent advice about basic safety and family information.

There was a crazy news story a few years ago about a parent sending their 5-year-old to school on his own. He decided to detour and get on the city bus to the train station, and then the train to the airport, where he was promptly met by the police. Kids can do crazy things without thinking.

It seems, however, that your child was reacting to a situation they found unpleasant. As a teacher (and parent), I would be wondering why the child was unhappy or distressed enough to walk out of a school building. It could be a misunderstanding with the other children, the teacher. How are her language skills? Is she able to express herself clearly to the teachers and other children? Most six-year-olds would recognize walking out of school as a no-no.

I would also consider a non-confrontational conversation with the teacher about her perspective of the situation before returning the child to class or perhaps a quick conversation before class with an appointment. Locking the door sounds like a quick fix, not a long term solution.

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Old 14.10.2020, 19:18
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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I had a front door key at 6 & took public transport on my own. Perhaps teach kids to take some responsibility themselves?
Oh, yes, many children did and do have keys. And yes, all for teaching children to be responsible.

Keys, here in Switzerland, may well be KABA, and thereby so much more expensive, and if one is renting one has to apply to the caretaker or landlord to have an extra key cut.

By no means do all children lose their keys. But if they do, geting an extra one cut needs the landlord's permission, or at least an application to the caretaker, and in the worse case, one might be required to replace all the locks in the building.

If one comes from abroad, one needs to know about this system, before deciding whether or not to give a specific child a key.
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Old 14.10.2020, 19:19
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

I wanted to comment on the watch idea with the emergency feature etc.

I don't think this is a good idea as children will not think about such gadgets if in trouble etc.

You need to teach her about stranger danger, your phone, who to ask for help.

We had a rule they should approach a mummy with children if they ever got lost and ask to call our numbers. We practiced it with them over and over, also what to say etc.

It can happen at any point that they get lost so knowing what to do is really important.
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Old 14.10.2020, 19:38
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Thanks,
From your reply I can see a new view from teacher side.
However when she calls the second we're going to press the call button to call her, she didn't feel sorry at all but instead blaming us a parent for what happened. It makes my husband furious n up till now he still angry with her attitude seeing that our kid is her responsibility once she took her inside the school.

I understand that it's not easy to watch the kids but the point is there's risk for the kids safety.

Prevention by locking the door should be the first thing to do. But she forgot to do it, that's what she admitted.

About telling my girl, I did the moment it happened as I of course doesn't want her to repeat the same thing again or any kind like that that can risk her safety.

My girl just told me few mins ago that she stop the guy herself and asked him if he can help to take her up home, she told him her family name, her name (for the ring button) n floor number, she also told him my name.

I myself would like for a formal meeting with the teacher but my husband said better not because he think the teacher will just push all the blame to us like in the phone and she's able to do that. So my husband said let's close the case here unless she (the teacher) tried to bring it up again.
I don’t know of any school or any teacher anywhere who locks the classroom door imagine the safety issue in case of fire?

That being said, it might be that the teacher’s agressive tone on the phone might be because of how scared she was. So many things must have passed though her head, it might have got out as harsh on the spur of the moment. Some people reacted to stress and guilty feelings in such a way. Perhaps she was so panicked you were going to severely blame her that she thought she would prevent it? I’m not trying to excuse her, mind, but rather providing logical explanations.

Have you planned a meeting to talk about it? I really think it would be a good idea. Not to put a blame on anybody, but to examine together why your daughter felt the need to leave alone. And she probably would benefit from hearing from both her parents and her teacher at the same time that it’s not a proper way of reacting to a stressful reaction, while talking about it and finding solutions together is right.
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Old 14.10.2020, 19:58
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Personally, as a teacher, a mother and grandmother, locking the door is just not the answer and very unsafe.
A teacher locking the classroom door would worry me too.
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Old 14.10.2020, 20:21
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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That being said, it might be that the teacher’s agressive tone on the phone might be because of how scared she was. So many things must have passed though her head, it might have got out as harsh on the spur of the moment. Some people reacted to stress and guilty feelings in such a way. Perhaps she was so panicked you were going to severely blame her that she thought she would prevent it? I’m not trying to excuse her, mind, but rather providing logical explanations.
In my experience, the Swiss love to blame and shame. A problem arises - and instead of thinking about possible solutions, there is a mad rush to assign or deflect potential blame, often adding insult to injury.

Ex: I got sent on a work call into the mountains, with a company vehicle. Chains were needed to get over the pass. I stopped to put them on, and they were too small for the tires. 'Sh!t! Some idiot bought any old chains without checking of they fit the car?! And now i'm stuck on the side of the road in whiteout conditions with snow accumulating quickly?!' I calmly called the office to explain the situation/look for solution - and was immediately yelled at on the phone "You should have checked the chains before you left!"

The Swiss won't generally admit mistakes or apologize, either.

Back to topic, did the teacher actually tell you that she forgot to lock the door, OP?
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