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Old 14.10.2020, 11:40
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Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

Hello everyone..
I'm not sure which area I should post this topic...
Today my kids for the first time escaped from her kindergarten, she's going to be 6 years old in few days.
We live not far from the kindergarten but still it scared me a lot even till now I still feel uneasy in my heart thinking that something might happen to my little girl when she's alone out there without her teacher and parents notice that she's not in the school where she should be at those time.
She came up home with the help of a man passing by near home (we live on the third floor and my girl didn't know how to open the door, we didn't teach her yet how to ring the door from outside as we always go in and out together)
So she was waiting there outside near the street for more than 20mins till that kindhearted man help her ring the door n take her up to the third floor..

I was shocked n wondering what happened,.. I thought she sent back home because she doesn't feel fine but she's OK, why she came back home with a stranger, not the teacher and she still with full dress the way I dressed her to school this morning, so that mean she didn't even take off her hat and jacket yet since her teacher took her inside the school.
I asked her what happened and she keep saying while crying that she doesn't want to go to school.
I was so confused as she keeps crying, fortunately my husband came back home in that moment (he went to migros directly after took our girl to kindergarten)
He also got shocked as he found our girl who suppose to be in her school already back home hugging me tight while crying..
I told him that there is a man took her home.
I asked him to call the teacher to ask what happened. But the moment my husband going to press the call button, the teacher called...at the end we're blamed for what happened.

So for those more than 20mins we didn't get any news from the teacher saying that our girl escape form the school, what will happen if she walk somewhere else and get lost?, what will happen if she met someone with bad intentions?

If you're Us will you be able to feel quiet in your heart?
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Old 14.10.2020, 11:45
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

Thats scary, luckily everything turned out alright.
Why did the school blame you
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Old 14.10.2020, 11:48
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

Sound like husband walked kid to school and left her there?
Husband went shopping?
Kid decided to come home instead of entering school?
Teacher called 20 mins later?

It's normal to leave the kids outside waiting for the school bell to ring, if they decide not to go in, to come home instead, it's not really the teacher fault??
Unless husband waited until the kid actually went in the class but doesn't seem like that?

For those 20 mins the teacher is probably getting the other kids inside and sitting in class and then noticed one is missing.. Doesn't seem very long?

Unless I'm missing something?
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Old 14.10.2020, 11:53
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

I've heard of this happening a number of times, if a kid decides to go home there's not much the teacher can do about it.

I guess the teacher is also a bit worried and stressed hence the blame.

Ultimately it is the responsibility of parents and teacher to make the child understand about staying in school etc.

I suggest asking for a quick meeting between teacher, parents and child (maybe before school) to go over it and make sure she knows to stay at school. If she's been in school for a year already, there may be an underlying issue causing the behaviour.
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Old 14.10.2020, 11:54
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Thats scary, luckily everything turned out alright.
Why did the school blame you
She took it that the kids escape was our fault
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Old 14.10.2020, 11:54
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

While the incident might have given you a shock, I'd like to encourage you to teach your 6-year-old, immediately, how to ring the right bell to open the door. That's a gap that I think needs filling. I've commonly seen it done that parents stick a recognisable coloured sticker on their bell, as soon as their children, who can't yet read, leave the home to do anything without the parents.

It's also a good idea to teach each child to be able to recite their own name and address, and the full names of their parents, and the phone number of at least one of them, and possibly the name of the parent's employer.
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Old 14.10.2020, 11:55
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

At 6 she is expected to know a) how to get to/from school, b) how to get in/out of home and c) that coming home is not an option if she is supposed to be at school.


Our little neighbour children had a time when they could not reach the doorbell for their floor - so they would ring ours if they could not get in at the time expected. It takes a village to raise a child. there are 7 children who live in three apartments in our building, with a restaurant downstairs. The children all know if they have a problem they can ring all of the doorbells, or use the restaurant to get in to the building if it is open.



The Swiss expectation is that she would be told off sternly. And told that she must be at school during school time. Not hugged and rewarded for coming home just because she decided not to go back to school.



Does she not walk to/from school by herself ?


It sounds like you also need to teach her where/who to go to for help. Basically, if she could not get in, she should have gone back to school to ask her teacher for help.


It does sound like nothing actually happened and that nice man was helping her, but it's a good wakeup call to teach her who to go to if she has a problem. And the importance of being at the right place where she is expected to be. Today is a great chance to teach her some important lessons about choices and consequences.



I have three kids, and have taught many many children. Our family rule is you must always communicate - where you are going, who you are with, and when you will coming home. For any age and any stage of life.
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Old 14.10.2020, 11:56
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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She took it that the kids escape was our fault
Why do you say "escape" - unlike some countries, Swiss schools are open and not set up like prisons. For this I am personally very thankful.

Children need to want to be there, or at least understand the impact and implications of them leaving - which is as much or more your responsibility as the teachers.
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:00
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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At 6 she is expected to know a) how to get to/from school, b) how to get in/out of home and c) that coming home is not an option if she is supposed to be at school.

Our little neighbour children had a time when they could not reach the doorbell for their floor - so they would ring ours if they could not get in at the time expected. It takes a village to raise a child. there are 7 children who live in three apartments in our building, with a restaurant downstairs. The children all know if they have a problem they can ring all of the doorbells, or use the restaurant to get in to the building if it is open.

The Swiss expectation is that she would be told off sternly. And told that she must be at school during school time. Not hugged and rewarded for coming home just because she decided not to go back to school.

Does she not walk to/from school by herself ?

It sounds like you also need to teach her where/who to go to for help. Basically, if she could not get in, she should have gone back to school to ask her teacher for help.

It does sound like nothing actually happened and that nice man was helping her, but it's a good wakeup call to teach her who to go to if she has a problem. And the importance of being at the right place where she is expected to be. Today is a great chance to teach her some important lessons about choices and consequences.

I have three kids, and have taught many many children. Our family rule is you must always communicate - where you are going, who you are with, and when you will coming home. For any age and any stage of life.
Excellent, excellent, excellent post, Swisspea! Very good advice and basic rules, here. Thank you.

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Our family rule is you must always communicate - where you are going, who you are with, and when you will coming home. For any age and any stage of life.
Yes. Included in our list is: how will you get there, how will you get back, and that you must then also really do what you said you would (with age-appropriate gradually increasing acceptance of deviations, e.g. I was going to Migros but then I also went by the library).
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:01
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Why do you say "escape" - unlike some countries, Swiss schools are open and not set up like prisons. For this I am personally very thankful.

Children need to want to be there, or at least understand the impact and implications of them leaving - which is as much or more your responsibility as the teachers.
Yes, agreed. It does sound, though, as if OP is not of English mother tongue, so perhaps this is just an unfortunate choice of word, instead of "left" or "walked away from" or "was missing".
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:03
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Sound like husband walked kid to school and left her there?
Husband went shopping?
Kid decided to come home instead of entering school?
Teacher called 20 mins later?

It's normal to leave the kids outside waiting for the school bell to ring, if they decide not to go in, to come home instead, it's not really the teacher fault??
Unless husband waited until the kid actually went in the class but doesn't seem like that?

For those 20 mins the teacher is probably getting the other kids inside and sitting in class and then noticed one is missing.. Doesn't seem very long?

Unless I'm missing something?

My husband gave our kids to the teacher, and the teacher took her inside before my husband leave the school, we never leave the school before she went inside.

20 mins is not long for normal situation, but any kind of things can happen out there when the little girl was alone by herself

If there is no one help her to ring the bell (which is unfortunately, the answering button was not working at that moment) so the guy took her up to the third floor, and if my husband didn't go to migros after took her to school..(in case that nobody help her she can still meet her father) Then she will be left alone there waiting near the street till somebody coming or till the teacher inform us that our girl is not in the school.
What if she got bored and casually walk around and got lost.
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:08
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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What if she got bored and casually walk around and got lost.
You need to teach her what to do in that situation.

One of mine did that once (decided to explore the road next to her normal route, got turned around etc).

* She knew her address, and the address of her school, and our phone number

* She knew to ask an older lady or couple how to get there

* Failing that she could see the nearby shopping centre from almost anywhere and knew how to get home from there, or to ask in Migros for help

(She did option two - found an old couple, who escorted her home)
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:09
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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My husband gave our kids to the teacher, and the teacher took her inside before my husband leave the school, we never leave the school before she went inside.

20 mins is not long for normal situation, but any kind of things can happen out there when the little girl was alone by herself

If there is no one help her to ring the bell (which is unfortunately, the answering button was not working at that moment) so the guy took her up to the third floor, and if my husband didn't go to migros after took her to school..(in case that nobody help her she can still meet her father) Then she will be left alone there waiting near the street till somebody coming or till the teacher inform us that our girl is not in the school.
What if she got bored and casually walk around and got lost.
Sound like a very different setup to school around here..

My 7 year old takes the bus and doesn't see the teacher until she enters the class, by herself.. The teachers don't take the kids from the parents?

That's the bit I don't get.. but hey
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:10
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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I've heard of this happening a number of times, if a kid decides to go home there's not much the teacher can do about it.

I guess the teacher is also a bit worried and stressed hence the blame.

Ultimately it is the responsibility of parents and teacher to make the child understand about staying in school etc.

I suggest asking for a quick meeting between teacher, parents and child (maybe before school) to go over it and make sure she knows to stay at school. If she's been in school for a year already, there may be an underlying issue causing the behaviour.

Thanks, Its something that I told her directly that she should not escape from school like that as it can be dangerous

I asked my husband to talk about this with the teacher as for me its not a small matter considering the safety of our little girl. But he said let's close the case here for today (seems he got offended by the teacher words on the phone and he doesn't want to make it more complicated)

As for our little girl I keep repeating to remind her not to do it anymore.

The teacher said next time she will lock the door (this time she didn't locked it so my girl managed to went out without her notice..

She already in the school more than a year
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:10
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

The 'What ifs' are normal for parents. kids don't usually know about those...



Tell her off sternly, send the message that it's absolutely not Ok for her to just leave school without telling her teacher.



she learnt her lesson today. She will probably never do it again.


In my culture, there is an age where we let children get 'lost' - either at a large park or in a shopping centre. If they wander away from us, we don't let them see us...they need to feel lost....of course, we are still watching them... but they need to feel that fear of being lost, so they realise it's a serious thing and their parents are not aways present to rescue them.
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:14
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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While the incident might have given you a shock, I'd like to encourage you to teach your 6-year-old, immediately, how to ring the right bell to open the door. That's a gap that I think needs filling. I've commonly seen it done that parents stick a recognisable coloured sticker on their bell, as soon as their children, who can't yet read, leave the home to do anything without the parents.

It's also a good idea to teach each child to be able to recite their own name and address, and the full names of their parents, and the phone number of at least one of them, and possibly the name of the parent's employer.
Thanks,
It came directly to my mind at that time to teach her how to ring the bell, I even think of giving her a smart watch that she can use to call us in case of emergency

For her name and our name she already knows, the phone number still need to help her learn it.
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:20
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

When a young kid is left in school custody then they better keep a watch on it at all times. I'd recommend sending at least an email if not a printed letter with the account of what happened to the school direction so that there is a trace left.

Maybe the school should improve their procedures. Not every kid has a parent who is at home. Not every kid might be so lucky with a stranger.
Actually, if you "loose" your own kid on your watch you might in the worst case have unpleasant encounters with child protection services if reported.
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:23
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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At 6 she is expected to know a) how to get to/from school, b) how to get in/out of home and c) that coming home is not an option if she is supposed to be at school.


Our little neighbour children had a time when they could not reach the doorbell for their floor - so they would ring ours if they could not get in at the time expected. It takes a village to raise a child. there are 7 children who live in three apartments in our building, with a restaurant downstairs. The children all know if they have a problem they can ring all of the doorbells, or use the restaurant to get in to the building if it is open.



The Swiss expectation is that she would be told off sternly. And told that she must be at school during school time. Not hugged and rewarded for coming home just because she decided not to go back to school.



Does she not walk to/from school by herself ?


It sounds like you also need to teach her where/who to go to for help. Basically, if she could not get in, she should have gone back to school to ask her teacher for help.


It does sound like nothing actually happened and that nice man was helping her, but it's a good wakeup call to teach her who to go to if she has a problem. And the importance of being at the right place where she is expected to be. Today is a great chance to teach her some important lessons about choices and consequences.



I have three kids, and have taught many many children. Our family rule is you must always communicate - where you are going, who you are with, and when you will coming home. For any age and any stage of life.
Thanks,
You sure are a great mother.

Yes you're right that we need to teach her all those important things

Just for the hugged I didn't take it as a "not to do" list when both of us was in those state of mind.. We both hugged to cool our mind while during the hug I keep telling her what to do and not to do
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:30
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

Nitpicking, but...
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Our family rule is you must always communicate - where you are going, who you are with, and when you will coming home. For any age and any stage of life.
A bit over the top there?
You expect your future 50 y/o "child" to let you know of their daily schedule?
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Old 14.10.2020, 12:31
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Re: Kindergarten Kids escaped from school

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Why do you say "escape" - unlike some countries, Swiss schools are open and not set up like prisons. For this I am personally very thankful.

Children need to want to be there, or at least understand the impact and implications of them leaving - which is as much or more your responsibility as the teachers.
We both (us and the teacher use that "escape" word ata those moment) just read it as it's written "sneak out" if you prefer (I prefer too)

I agree with you that the children need to want to be there, and hope all the children are the same on those aspect, but they're are unique, sometimes they feel happy to go sometimes not, some children are brave, some children shy, etc.

And I got the shy one...
She told me she doesn't want to stay in the school as everyone was keep looking at her (I don't know what kind of "keep looking at her" that makes her decided to sneak out from school

Still need to work more to build her self confidence I think
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