 | | | 
24.10.2020, 21:27
|  | modified, reprogrammed and doctored˛ | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: La Cote
Posts: 16,331
Groaned at 348 Times in 240 Posts
Thanked 18,827 Times in 9,807 Posts
| | Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
Cash is offensive in CZ, as a gift of empathy.
For birthdays, weddings, etc. neither. Gift cards are barely ok, but not really.
As for hiring a cemetery service, I just saw this lovely lady, who is offering it in CZ. "Cemetery Witch" https://www.idnes.cz/liberec/zpravy/...ec-zpravy_jape
She does a great job, especially valued in lockdown. But I think the timing isn't right for OP's friend. I'd wait, OP.
| 
24.10.2020, 21:36
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Near Geneva
Posts: 3,104
Groaned at 34 Times in 28 Posts
Thanked 3,942 Times in 1,762 Posts
| | Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or??? | Quote: | |  | | | must be local, as I have never ever known anyone sending money- or flowers. The 'Faire part' in the newspaper usually gives instructions re donations- often to a Charity- and flowers are only provided by the family or close friends and local societies the deceased belonged to. There is also often donations to the Church holding the service (if held in Church) or a box for a local charity. Normal to send a card with a short note or letter. | | | | | It's not the norm in the frech-speaking area either... in over forty years I've been to more funerals than I care to remember and not once was cash an expected 'gift'.
A card yes, flowers if I know the family has asked for them, and of course a donation to charity if the funeral notification specifies that the family has requested this instead of flowers.
| This user would like to thank Anjela for this useful post: | | 
25.10.2020, 15:33
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Albisrieden
Posts: 4,983
Groaned at 108 Times in 76 Posts
Thanked 7,463 Times in 2,758 Posts
| | Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
Recently a Swiss friend of ours passed away. We found out when we received a card from his family - that stated instead of sending flowers, we should send a contribution to a specified cancer charity - IBAN number was given.
Unless otherwise specified I would send at least a card with words of comfort and depending on how well I knew the deceased, also some flowers.
Cheers,
Nick
| 
25.10.2020, 16:26
|  | Forum Legend | | Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Lugano
Posts: 30,145
Groaned at 2,147 Times in 1,602 Posts
Thanked 36,154 Times in 17,142 Posts
| | Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or??? | Quote: | |  | | | I've been to more funerals than I care to remember and not once was cash an expected 'gift'. | | | | | Expected, no, a fact of life, yes.
When my wife passed in 2003, I got a card with several hundred CHF from a group of locals, for example, though I didn't need it (my employer gave me one with 10k in it  ).
Tom
| The following 3 users would like to thank st2lemans for this useful post: | | 
25.10.2020, 20:16
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Near Geneva
Posts: 3,104
Groaned at 34 Times in 28 Posts
Thanked 3,942 Times in 1,762 Posts
| | Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or??? | Quote: | |  | | | Expected, no, a fact of life, yes.
When my wife passed in 2003, I got a card with several hundred CHF from a group of locals, for example, though I didn't need it (my employer gave me one with 10k in it ).
Tom | | | | | I'm sure it happens Tom, it was the claim that giving cash was a common occurance in Switzerland I was questioning.
More likely a regional custom that a country-wide one and perhaps one that dates to a period when finding the cost of a funeral as well as the possible lose of a wage earner was overwhelming.
| 
25.10.2020, 21:52
| Forum Legend | | Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: CH
Posts: 9,987
Groaned at 336 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 14,570 Times in 7,486 Posts
| | Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
OP, in my country you would send a floral arrangement with a note, not money, money at funerals are out of question. If anything, the deceased's family is expected to offer a meal after the funerals.
If you can't do this, send flowers or a card, and your friends live here or they'll be back soon, maybe cook something for them? Normally I would have called and asked if they needed anything and told them I'm there for them. I think grief is more personal than cultural, if you ask me. My Czech friend wanted to talk about her mom. We did it later on, we did it many times. I wouldn't be so worried, if you're unsure you don't have to do anything just right away, other than sending a card. IMHO.
Last edited by greenmount; 25.10.2020 at 22:03.
Reason: grammar
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | | Thread Tools | | Display Modes | Linear Mode |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts HTML code is Off | | | All times are GMT +2. The time now is 21:07. | |