Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or??? - Page 2

MusicChick · #21 24.10.2020, 20:27

Cash is offensive in CZ, as a gift of empathy.

For birthdays, weddings, etc. neither. Gift cards are barely ok, but not really.

As for hiring a cemetery service, I just saw this lovely lady, who is offering it in CZ. "Cemetery Witch" https://www.idnes.cz/liberec/zpravy/...ec-zpravy_jape

She does a great job, especially valued in lockdown. But I think the timing isn't right for OP's friend. I'd wait, OP.

Anjela · #22 24.10.2020, 20:36

	Quote:	JackieH
	must be local, as I have never ever known anyone sending money- or flowers. The 'Faire part' in the newspaper usually gives instructions re donations- often to a Charity- and flowers are only provided by the family or close friends and local societies the deceased belonged to. There is also often donations to the Church holding the service (if held in Church) or a box for a local charity. Normal to send a card with a short note or letter.

It's not the norm in the frech-speaking area either... in over forty years I've been to more funerals than I care to remember and not once was cash an expected 'gift'.

A card yes, flowers if I know the family has asked for them, and of course a donation to charity if the funeral notification specifies that the family has requested this instead of flowers.

nickatbasel · #23 25.10.2020, 14:33

Recently a Swiss friend of ours passed away. We found out when we received a card from his family - that stated instead of sending flowers, we should send a contribution to a specified cancer charity - IBAN number was given.

Unless otherwise specified I would send at least a card with words of comfort and depending on how well I knew the deceased, also some flowers.

Cheers,
Nick

st2lemans · #24 25.10.2020, 15:26

	Quote:	Anjela
	I've been to more funerals than I care to remember and not once was cash an expected 'gift'.

Expected, no, a fact of life, yes.

When my wife passed in 2003, I got a card with several hundred CHF from a group of locals, for example, though I didn't need it (my employer gave me one with 10k in it

).

Tom

Anjela · #25 25.10.2020, 19:16

	Quote:	st2lemans
	Expected, no, a fact of life, yes. When my wife passed in 2003, I got a card with several hundred CHF from a group of locals, for example, though I didn't need it (my employer gave me one with 10k in it ). Tom

I'm sure it happens Tom, it was the claim that giving cash was a common occurance in Switzerland I was questioning.

More likely a regional custom that a country-wide one and perhaps one that dates to a period when finding the cost of a funeral as well as the possible lose of a wage earner was overwhelming.

greenmount · #26 25.10.2020, 20:52

OP, in my country you would send a floral arrangement with a note, not money, money at funerals are out of question. If anything, the deceased's family is expected to offer a meal after the funerals.

If you can't do this, send flowers or a card, and your friends live here or they'll be back soon, maybe cook something for them? Normally I would have called and asked if they needed anything and told them I'm there for them. I think grief is more personal than cultural, if you ask me. My Czech friend wanted to talk about her mom. We did it later on, we did it many times. I wouldn't be so worried, if you're unsure you don't have to do anything just right away, other than sending a card. IMHO.