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-   -   Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or??? (https://www.englishforum.ch/daily-life/300836-death-my-friends-family-do-europeans-send-flowers.html)

Jamboree 22.10.2020 18:33

Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
A really, really close friend of mine's Mother just passed away.
They are from Czech Republic.

Normally I'd send flowers to my friend, but I wanted to check if there is a more cultural kindness "gift" I should be sending.

I do not have an opportunity to be with them during this time.

MusicChick 22.10.2020 18:39

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamboree (Post 3230032)
A really, really close friend of mine's Mother just passed away.
They are from Czech Republic.

Normally I'd send flowers to my friend, but I wanted to check if there is a more cultural kindness "gift" I should be sending.

I do not have an opportunity to be with them during this time.

Are they living here?

bowlie 22.10.2020 18:45

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
How would, should the circumstances be reversed, you feel if your friend sent you some flowers?

By all means reach out to your feeind.

Meerkat33 23.10.2020 02:00

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
I think cards are more common but I doubt someone would get offended if you throw some flowers with it unless they have to pick them up at the post office, that could be an unnecessary hassle (I don't know how delivery works).

blackbird 23.10.2020 06:55

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
I think it is better to send money, because a funeral is not cheap and the family
have to organise their "new" life without the person , who passed away.

newtoswitz 23.10.2020 09:30

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by blackbird (Post 3230223)
I think it is better to send money, because a funeral is not cheap and the family
have to organise their "new" life without the person , who passed away.

I think money is risky option, many cultures do not see that as a gift but rather a handout or a comment on their ability to manage their affairs.

I think flowers is fine, particularly when a message of sympathy and support is included; even if it is not culturally matching to the occasion, flowers are appreciated as a gift here, and would be taken in the spirit intended.

nejc 23.10.2020 10:14

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by blackbird (Post 3230223)
I think it is better to send money, because a funeral is not cheap and the family have to organise their "new" life without the person , who passed away.

Sorry, but I think this is a big no, except when you really know that this is a tradition.
I would be horrified about that thought, if I haven't learned on my grandma's funeral that this is also a tradition in a small corner of my own country (Slovenia). Relatives were putting envelopes with cash into my father's cloak.

Kittster 23.10.2020 11:38

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
I would reach out and tell them that you would like to do something for them in their time of need. Maybe there is a charity that they would like you to support in the name of the deceased? Or you could send them a parcel with some Swiss comfort foods? If they have a garden, maybe they would love a certain plant to go there?

My personal feeling is that flowers are beautiful but if I pop my clogs, I would like to have any money spent to help the living rather than decorate the resting place of the dead. If you do send flowers, make sure to have them include a vase, the person has probably already received more flowers than they have receptacles.

MusicChick 23.10.2020 12:00

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicChick (Post 3230035)
Are they living here?

Lemi ask again before people get theoretical..

Deliveries might be on hold during current CZ lockdown. Flowershops function, though, not sure about deliveries.

OP - cash is considered really poor taste. Otherwise a card with "Upřímnou soustrast" with a box of chocolates will work. They might pay an import tax on it, if sent by post. Post delivers in a limited way now.

It is kind of you to think about your friend.

st2lemans 23.10.2020 13:08

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
A card and some cash is common in Switzerland.

Tom

gata 23.10.2020 14:22

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
In Cyprus the family specifies what they want. Some families say that instead of flowers, donations to a specific charity will be appreciated

Village Idiot 23.10.2020 16:34

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Funeral Flowers and Wreaths

The type of arrangement you send depends on how close you were to the one who passed away and your budget. Typical floral arrangements include a bouquet, a wreath or single flowers. The most common flowers for Czech funerals are calla lilies, roses, carnations and chrysanthemums. Flower colors will depend on the season and what’s available. The only rule is that a bouquet (I’m not sure if this applies to wreaths) must have an even number of flowers. This rule is strictly applied by Czechs.

MusicChick 23.10.2020 16:39

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Village Idiot (Post 3230470)
Funeral Flowers and Wreaths

The type of arrangement you send depends on how close you were to the one who passed away and your budget. Typical floral arrangements include a bouquet, a wreath or single flowers. The most common flowers for Czech funerals are calla lilies, roses, carnations and chrysanthemums. Flower colors will depend on the season and what’s available. The only rule is that a bouquet (I’m not sure if this applies to wreaths) must have an even number of flowers. This rule is strictly applied by Czechs.

This is true. I gave somebody flowers once in a number of their birthdaty, a baaad idea!

But if OP wants to send a bouquet, now it is not a good moment in CZ, rampant infections and unreliable delivery. If it is here, it's ok. But most folks I know would appreciate a card and a box of chocolates.

And let us know how it went, OP.

Blueangel 23.10.2020 17:43

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamboree (Post 3230032)
Normally I'd send flowers to my friend, but I wanted to check if there is a more cultural kindness "gift" I should be sending.

The loveliest gift we were given was a candle in a beautiful holder, and burning candles when mourning is quite international.

Klostersgirl 23.10.2020 20:17

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by st2lemans (Post 3230370)
A card and some cash is common in Switzerland.

Tom

Yes, this is the case here. I think the idea is that the mourners use the money to buy a floral tribute at a later date. It jarred with me when my Swiss in-laws died, as did my sister-in-laws gesture of giving us some of the funeral tributes to take home. They were all very obviously funereal, but the idea was for us to put them outside our house.

JackieH 23.10.2020 20:31

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by st2lemans (Post 3230370)
A card and some cash is common in Switzerland.

Tom


must be local, as I have never ever known anyone sending money- or flowers. The 'Faire part' in the newspaper usually gives instructions re donations- often to a Charity- and flowers are only provided by the family or close friends and local societies the deceased belonged to. There is also often donations to the Church holding the service (if held in Church) or a box for a local charity. Normal to send a card with a short note or letter.

Urs Max 24.10.2020 16:19

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JackieH (Post 3230564)
must be local, as I have never ever known anyone sending money- or flowers.

It's an individual choice. Often the "TodesAnzeige" contains information or hints, nowadays also on Corona measures.

It seems that increasingly many see no use in a grave overloaded with flowers that need to be dumped after a couple weeks, or months at best. So they prefer a small contribution to one big wreath, perhaps accompanied by a contribution to a good cause they preselect for those who want to give more. That gives, say, one wreath each by the surviving spouse, the children, the club they attended for decades, and one by "everybody else". In those cases the family will usually select flowers themselves.

Likewise, an increasing number chose an urn in a wall that houses many urns over an individual grave (that often contains an urn rather than a coffin anyways).

Not that this is any help for OP, CZ may well differ.

st2lemans 24.10.2020 20:53

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JackieH (Post 3230564)
must be local, as I have never ever known anyone sending money- or flowers

Are you Swiss?

Tom

MusicChick 24.10.2020 21:13

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Urs Max (Post 3230815)
Not that this is any help for OP, CZ may well differ.

Yes.

3Wishes 24.10.2020 21:18

Re: Death in my friends family - do europeans send flowers or???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by st2lemans (Post 3230370)
A card and some cash is common in Switzerland.

Tom

At least in some parts. ;) When MIL died, numerous people sent cards with cash. Only a few close family members bought wreaths for the funeral. The cash tradition around OH's home village is so the grieving family can hire a gardener to manage the grave site for the first year or two. That way those grieving don't have to fuss with making things pretty. They can go visit and there are always beautiful, seasonal displays. It also gives the family an idea of what they might like to see there long term, whether it's a little bush or a little rock garden with angels, etc. :)


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