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Old 15.12.2020, 16:39
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Coronavirus Jokes

Here's my gift to all of humanity to help ease the suffering of a monumental, historical global pandemic ....

I will start a thread on English Forum where people can post jokes about coronavirus.

Then, people all over the world can read them to bring respite from the demands of these times.

Hope the laughter eases any distress from living through this era and boosts your immune system.

Sincerely, MakeABigWish


------------------------------


Here are my two jokes I will offer to kick things off:

Joke #1:
Knock knock. Who is there?
Seriously, don’t touch my door and get back 6 meters to social distance.

Joke #2:
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible"
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe go to a packed concert."
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Old 15.12.2020, 16:52
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

If someone asks...

Tel them you're optimistic, not positive.
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Old 15.12.2020, 16:53
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

Funny, just yesterday I was thinking that there is good reason why I hadn't heard one person anywhere (including comedians, TV personalities, etc), making jokes out of the COVID pandemic
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Old 15.12.2020, 16:59
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

When I saw "Jokes" I thought there'd be something funny.
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Old 15.12.2020, 17:05
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

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When I saw "Jokes" I thought there'd be something funny.

Okay, then .... offer something ......


Always easier to strike a sophisticated pose and criticize others ....


How about this one?:


How many people with coronavirus does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Only one, but they like to make a party out of it and invite their 50 closest friends.
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Old 15.12.2020, 17:06
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

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Old 15.12.2020, 17:20
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

There aren't any funny corona-virus jokes.

All the corona-virus jokes I've seen are tasteless.
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Old 15.12.2020, 17:22
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

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How many people with coronavirus does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but they like to make a party out of it and invite their 50 closest friends.
Sounds like the party they had in Unteriberg last weekend.
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Old 15.12.2020, 17:42
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

There was a special on quebecois comedians explaining on the national TV here how tone down the end of the year major TV show will be, all the things that are out of the question to make fun of...And there was I thinking that laughter makes people healthier and more immune, most probably.

3..2...1..
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Old 15.12.2020, 17:49
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

A man doesn't walk into a bar.....
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Old 15.12.2020, 18:01
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 The first woman on the way to work complains why this is not a snowwoman.
8:15 I also made a snowwoman.
8:17 The kindergarten teacher complains about the snowwoman's visible breasts.
8:20 The gay neighbor gets angry with me, because there should also be 2 snowmen.
8:25 My vegan neighbor complains across the street that the carrot is a waste of food.
8:30 I am called a racist because the snow is white.
8:35 Fatma from the corner complains that a headscarf should be put on the snowwoman.
9:00 The police officer comes by. I pay a €1,000 fine because snowman and snowwoman don't wear masks and the minimum distance is not met.
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Old 15.12.2020, 18:02
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

2019: if you buy more than five bottles of wine you tell the cashier that you're not actually an alcoholic, but that you're throwing a party.

2020: you tell the cashier that you're not throwing a party but that you're actually a certified alcoholic.
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Old 15.12.2020, 18:08
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”
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Old 15.12.2020, 18:10
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

I heard Finland have closed their borders. Nobody is crossing the Finnish line.
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Old 15.12.2020, 18:13
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

Saying that, things are much worse in France. Supermarkets look like they’ve been hit by a tornado. All that’s left is d’Brie.
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Old 15.12.2020, 18:17
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

My cat just asked me if I wanted the radio left on while he goes out.
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Old 15.12.2020, 18:28
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

Corona virus
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Old 15.12.2020, 19:00
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic...
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Old 15.12.2020, 19:19
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

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I heard Finland have closed their borders. Nobody is crossing the Finnish line.
But some people are Russian to get across.
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Old 15.12.2020, 20:05
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Re: Coronavirus Jokes

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