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Old 01.10.2021, 14:26
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Re: How is it for women here when out especially at night alone? (Sarah Everard)

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I understand that you are angry, I am too. However, I have to agree with Castro and I also think that we have seen several posters mature into much more reasonable people on this forum. Not sure the individual you are attacking has the potential to develop into a fully formed mature adult, however, telling people they should not have been born is a bit "eugenic"
Kittster, please explain to me why I am the focus/subject of ire from others here including a mod for my statement vs others who have said a woman is responsible for her own rape if she was drunk or celebrating her body by dressing in a certain way.

And Iím far from into eugenics - to explain my statement further, I donít think people who believe the above are worth the sacrifice of the mother who bore them. I stand by my statement and frankly donít care if most of you are offended by it. This forum has seen some improvements, but I do not want to be part of a place where individuals defend rape apologists.
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  #62  
Old 01.10.2021, 14:29
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Re: How is it for women here when out especially at night alone? (Sarah Everard)

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Kittster, please explain to me why I am the focus/subject of ire from others here including a mod for my statement vs others who have said a woman is responsible for her own rape if she was drunk or celebrating her body by dressing in a certain way.

And Iím far from into eugenics - to explain my statement further, I donít think people who believe the above are worth the sacrifice of the mother who bore them. I stand by my statement and frankly donít care if most of you are offended by it. This forum has seen some improvements, but I do not want to be part of a place where individuals defend rape apologists.
It is possible for two people to say bad things.

You must know your comment was unacceptable, no matter the provocation.

Don't let this detract from your other, incredibly important message.
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  #63  
Old 01.10.2021, 14:29
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Re: How is it for women here when out especially at night alone? (Sarah Everard)

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Kittster, please explain to me why I am the focus/subject of ire from others here including a mod for my statement vs others who have said a woman is responsible for her own rape if she was drunk or celebrating her body by dressing in a certain way.

And Iím far from into eugenics - to explain my statement further, I donít think people who believe the above are worth the sacrifice of the mother who bore them. I stand by my statement and frankly donít care if most of you are offended by it. This forum has seen some improvements, but I do not want to be part of a place where individuals defend rape apologists.
Is there a pattern emerging here? Interactions like this were already observed on the Coronavirus thread. Then silence, next reddit on how EF was covid denier and antivaxxer pit and emails to the local mgmt.

I guess more emails will be sent, this time EF is a cespool of rape apologists.
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  #64  
Old 01.10.2021, 14:38
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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...Not sure the individual you are attacking has the potential to develop into a fully formed mature adult...
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Yet another fragile male ego...
I understand this is a very emotional and often personal topic. More personal than others could possibly understand unless they have been through the same trauma. Some people will never understand, no matter how carefully something is phrased.

At the same time, I fail to see how these very pointed, very personal attacks in any way further the conversation in a rational and productive manner.

Please, stop with the personal attacks. And that goes for everyone. These two are only recent examples and by no means are they the only very pointed and personal comments.
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  #65  
Old 01.10.2021, 14:45
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

I agree with the mods. Tackling a sensitive topic is difficult as it is. You can scream at your screen and other posters all you want but before pressing "submit reply" it might be beneficial to reread an emotional post and ask yourself if there's a personal insult somewhere in your message and then go back and delete it.

This goes for me too.
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  #66  
Old 01.10.2021, 14:52
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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I understand this is a very emotional and often personal topic. More personal than others could possibly understand unless they have been through the same trauma. Some people will never understand, no matter how carefully something is phrased.

At the same time, I fail to see how these very pointed, very personal attacks in any way further the conversation in a rational and productive manner.

Please, stop with the personal attacks. And that goes for everyone. These two are only recent examples and by no means are they the only very pointed and personal comments.
Fair enough ... Iím out. I was almost out with the Covidiocy - but this thread is just another example as to why this place is not good for me.

For those of you who know how to reach out, please keep in touch if you want to. Take care and have a nice weekend.
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  #67  
Old 01.10.2021, 14:53
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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I understand this is a very emotional and often personal topic. More personal than others could possibly understand unless they have been through the same trauma. Some people will never understand, no matter how carefully something is phrased.

At the same time, I fail to see how these very pointed, very personal attacks in any way further the conversation in a rational and productive manner.

Please, stop with the personal attacks. And that goes for everyone. These two are only recent examples and by no means are they the only very pointed and personal comments.
I completely disagree. This is an emotional topic for all women (and perhaps also men that have experienced the same from other males).

It is not comprehensible, that degrading comments, which clearly are in support of rapists, should be should be allowed and yet, VERY NATURAL retorts in response to these abhorrent comments, especially those which specialize in degrading women (and there are many on this thread), should be repressed.
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  #68  
Old 01.10.2021, 14:56
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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I completely disagree. This is an emotional topic for all women (and perhaps also men that have experienced the same from other males).

It is not comprehensible, that degrading comments which clearly are in support of rapists, should be should be allowed, and yet, VERY NATURAL retorts in response to these abhorrent comments, especially those which specialize in degrading women, should be repressed.
Don't want a fight with you, as we are on the same side here, but you can reply to what you perceive as unacceptable comments with grace and politeness, or you can ignore them.

What you can't do is fire a personal remark back at the poster, as it is against forum rules.
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  #69  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:02
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

As for the case described in the first posting:

I do believe that if at least one party had been sober, this whole thing might never have happened.

It's a bit unfortunate that getting drunk is probably more often associated with "...and getting laid afterwards" by both sides than not.

Hands up who lost their virginity sober? Was the other party completely sober, too?

This is maybe a side-effect of early sexual activity (and I don't blame early sexual education, because not doing the whole early sex-ed thing is probably even worse) in that by the time you start consuming alcohol (and getting to know its effects), sex-ed is long gone and may not have spelled out the (equally false and powerful) dichotomy between alcohol and sex as directly as it might seem to be necessary.

From this point of view, it might actually make sense to have "alcohol ed" at school (as parents are obviously less and less able to give both anyway).

So, in short, I blame alcohol.
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Old 01.10.2021, 15:04
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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Don't want a fight with you, as we are on the same side here, but you can reply to what you perceive as unacceptable comments with grace and politeness, or you can ignore them.

What you can't do is fire a personal remark back at the poster, as it is against forum rules.
Some comments do not deserve grace and politeness, and should be deleted. They are abhorrent, not only to the one person that made it, but to the entire demographic they have made it to.

I do not want to derail this thread, the initial discussion was not EF deterioration for a change. However, as usual, the usual people - who really donĎt care at all about the actual topic, have hijacked this discussion with their own troll characters, and forced good and serious posters - that do appreciate the discussion - out.
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  #71  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:07
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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Some comments do not deserve grace and politeness, and should be deleted. They are abhorrent, not only to the one person that made it, but to the entire demographic they have made it to.
This does happen though - when mods notice unacceptable content they remove it.

You and I are not the arbiters of this, they are.

Either way, responding with personal attacks only plays into their hands, it isn't a smart move.
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  #72  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:08
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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Some comments do not deserve grace and politeness, and should be deleted. They are abhorrent, not only to the one person that made it, but to the entire demographic they have made it to.

I do not want to derail this thread, the initial discussion was not EF deterioration for a change. However, as usual, the usual people - who really don‘t care at all about the actual topic, have hijacked this discussion with their own troll characters, and forced good and serious posters - that do appreciate the discussion - out.
That's the ideal world. Back to the real world, mods have lives. Even though, 3Wishes did some cleaning last night.

So, how long would you wait for a mod to delete a comment before taking in the issue in your own hands with very natural retorts?
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  #73  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:20
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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I completely disagree. This is an emotional topic for all women (and perhaps also men that have experienced the same from other males).
Why would it not be for men as well? It wouldn't hurt to try and be a bit less egocentric.

It's very telling that you exclude the possibility that women grope, too, that goes conform with the general notion that women can only be victims. Just for the record, my genitals have been groped multiple times by women, without my consent or the situation inviting it.
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  #74  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:21
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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I do not want to derail this thread, the initial discussion was not EF deterioration for a change. However, as usual, the usual people - who really don‘t care at all about the actual topic, have hijacked this discussion with their own troll characters, and forced good and serious posters - that do appreciate the discussion - out.
Oh really?

I had observed two simple facts from the article Susie-O posted as somewhat different from the way she described it - and she responded by blaming me for defending rapists.

Then you, if I remember correctly, threatened Brian1985 (?, after an admittedly concerning post) that "you can be found" and claimed you had already set the dogs on him.

And you of all people tell others to look into the mirror.

PS: Ha, I just realize that you probably have me on ignore after you called me a moron in a rep message recently.
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  #75  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:22
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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Some comments do not deserve grace and politeness, and should be deleted. They are abhorrent, not only to the one person that made it, but to the entire demographic they have made it to.

I do not want to derail this thread, the initial discussion was not EF deterioration for a change. However, as usual, the usual people - who really donĎt care at all about the actual topic, have hijacked this discussion with their own troll characters, and forced good and serious posters - that do appreciate the discussion - out.
the answer was there all along: ban alcohol!
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  #76  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:24
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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That's the ideal world. Back to the real world, mods have lives. 3Wishes did some cleaning last night.

So, how long would you wait for a mod to delete a comment before taking in the issue in your own hands with very natural retorts?
Oh, I always make my comments in the evening, so I get a string of „comment deleted“ posts in the morning. As these are automatically routed to my trash, I just go through my trash that morning, select all (without having read them), and hit delete all. I pride myself on a nice, clean, empty trash can.

Then, if I can be bothered at some point, unless it‘s something that is a good thread like this one (which rarely happens - it‘s usually deteriorated by at least the next day from trolls), I go into EF, click the corresponding „post deleted“ messages, and hit delete.

And then, my day continues, quite happily.

If it was a good thread, with really good arguments from good posters (again, like this one), then I might look at it again during the course of the day. If it‘s however been overrun (which is usually the case), with useless, insensitive, uninformed comments - then, I‘ll put a few posters on my ignored list - thank all the posters that thanked me with good rep (although actually I don‘t always do that anymore, sorry because sometimes a thread has made my blood boil so much that I would prefer a walk in the forest instead). So my day anyway continues quite happily.

So, to answer your question, the past week has shown me that the current mods are doing a really good job. So many „passive“ EF members have started contributing again. I still get my „post deleted“ messages, but that‘s OK.

They are doing a fair job recently. Could we please now get back to the topic of this thread?
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  #77  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:24
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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Why would it not be for men as well? It wouldn't hurt to try and be a bit less egocentric.

It's very telling that you exclude the possibility that women grope, too, that goes conform with the general notion that women can only be victims. Just for the record, my genitals have been groped multiple times by women, without my consent or the situation inviting it.
I'm not sure getting kicked in the bollocks counts.
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  #78  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:29
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

To be honest I was not a fan of this thread split, the original idea behind it was of very good intention but somehow thereĎs been a derailment and now for me, this one hasnĎt really worked out and itĎs become part EF politics.

Can I kindly request itís put to bed? We do still have the other on-topic oneÖ
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  #79  
Old 01.10.2021, 15:37
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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Fair enough ... Iím out. I was almost out with the Covidiocy - but this thread is just another example as to why this place is not good for me.

For those of you who know how to reach out, please keep in touch if you want to. Take care and have a nice weekend.
C'mon, if you pay attention to UM and a few other opportunistic posters you lose the will to live.

Have a nice weekend and try to ignore....
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Old 01.10.2021, 15:38
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Re: Thread split: Safety for women alone in CH

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I'm not sure getting kicked in the bollocks counts.
Where's your empathy?
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