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Old 06.09.2022, 11:29
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Re: Bullying

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I don´t buy that, bullies are for most part, more ruthless, faster and stronger and show less inhibition than those who are being bullied and standing up to a bully will simply get your ass kicked as the bully has to show his or her dominance one way or another. Also somebody who is timid and a victim of bullying simply can´t turn round 180° against their psyche. And those who try are simply adorable.
Bullies also seem to be those who have greater success late in life, bullying is not just a human trait, animals do it too and studies show that the animal "bully" has greater access to food and females, this is also true of human bullies.
I think that we see this too simple...: Bully bad, victim underdog hero.
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I was asked by a lady near where I live in 2019 to look out for her son .. who has a speech impediment and was being bullied on the train by one of the rich kids from Walchwil.
Anyway, to cut a long story short I caught him at it.. I told the kid if he didn’t stop it I would come round to his house and kick his backside all over his big house.. and he could tell his dad and I would do the same to him too.
The women on the carriage smiled, the men pretended they didn’t hear. Not a very Swiss way of doing things I appreciate but it did the trick.

I grew up on a rough as a badgers arse council estate so bullies don’t impress me whether they are in a suit and tie or wearing cargo pants . A couple of kids I knew thought they were real hard cases, one tried his hand at boxing but quickly came up against kids who were faster, stronger , skilled and disciplined and that was the end of his career, the other joined the Royal Marines.. after 3 weeks he was back on the estate, tail between his legs.. apologies to any swissies on here but 3 weeks basic training in the RM is most definitely not like 3 weeks in the Swiss army ..and afterwards he became noticeably quieter. The one thing bullies in all areas of life truly hate is coming up against a bigger bully.
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  #42  
Old 06.09.2022, 11:50
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Re: Bullying

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I'm late to this thread, but I just read an older (2019?) article from The Atlantic about psychotic and pre-psychotic children. It's surprisingly common about 1/100). They have no empathy, are immune to punishment, and learn to mimic socially acceptable behavior when it's in their interest. I wonder how many bullies fall into this category. In one study, researchers showed pictures of facial expressions to a convicted (prisoner) murderer. When shown a picture of abject fear, he said, "I don't know what that emotion is called, but it's the face they make just before you stab them."
That..is...chilling!
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Old 21.09.2022, 19:46
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Re: Bullying

Bullying can hurt for a long, long time. But since not all bullies are psychopaths or sociopaths, healing can happen, too, even much later.

A friend was teased, mocked and pushed around mercilessly in his early teens. Fastforward a few decades. He was walking through his city and one of his former bullies, whom he hadn't seen since school days, recognised him and called out.

The former bully walked over and apologised profusely, saying that as a teen he had been afraid of not belonging, and had learnt to enjoy the power being in the group and even of tormenting, but that as an adult he had understood how unkind and hurtful his remarks had been, and that for many long years he'd hoped for a chance to apologise. He said he'd looked for my friend to say sorry, but not found him, not even online. Although he would understand if my friend spat in his face and turned on his heels, could he please consider finding it in himself to forgive him?

After that, they met for lunch a few times. And the forgiveness and healing became real.
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  #44  
Old 22.09.2022, 08:34
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Re: Bullying

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I was asked by a lady near where I live in 2019 to look out for her son .. who has a speech impediment and was being bullied on the train by one of the rich kids from Walchwil.
Anyway, to cut a long story short I caught him at it.. I told the kid if he didn’t stop it I would come round to his house and kick his backside all over his big house.. and he could tell his dad and I would do the same to him too.
The women on the carriage smiled, the men pretended they didn’t hear. Not a very Swiss way of doing things I appreciate but it did the trick.

I grew up on a rough as a badgers arse council estate so bullies don’t impress me whether they are in a suit and tie or wearing cargo pants . A couple of kids I knew thought they were real hard cases, one tried his hand at boxing but quickly came up against kids who were faster, stronger , skilled and disciplined and that was the end of his career, the other joined the Royal Marines.. after 3 weeks he was back on the estate, tail between his legs.. apologies to any swissies on here but 3 weeks basic training in the RM is most definitely not like 3 weeks in the Swiss army ..and afterwards he became noticeably quieter. The one thing bullies in all areas of life truly hate is coming up against a bigger bully.
Hmm, it's not very difficult for an adult to intimidate a child....but I'm not sure that teaches this child something, or maybe what...that whoever is bigger and stronger, "wins"? I know, of course, that if a case is desperate even this approach would do, but I think most kids are recuperable and making them aware of the effects of their actions could be more effective in the long run....for all of us.

Otherwise you just created a bigger monster, one that will probably be a bully in adult years too.

(sorry, can't resonate with the idea of intimidating a child, even a dumb ass of a child....it really looks like employing the same technique as the child bully and I'm not very fond of the "the ends justify the means"...even though I'm also a human and I also feel like giving someone a taste of their own medicine would do the trick, sometimes......but we're talking about children here and they do deserve the presumption that they could be educated rather than frightened )
Oh, and btw, people around you pretending they didn't hear anything is a very Swiss attitude. (not only Swiss, of course) And that happens even when they should intervene..somehow.
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Last edited by greenmount; 22.09.2022 at 19:06. Reason: typos etc
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