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Old 24.04.2007, 19:33
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I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

I've been reading these threads for a while now as my Swiss gentleman friend ( at our age "boyfriend would be silly !!) wants me to go & live with him in the Bern area and from most of the comments made, I really don't think that Switzerland sounds a nice place to live !
For a start, I have bone problems and if I get barged on the train, I'm likely to break a few bones or worse, I can rely on people to help with my luggage in England as well . I can only speak halting Hoch Deutsch, I'm a very carefree outgoing person who chats to anyone and everyone & have made quite a few friends this way and so I don't see myself living with a load of miserable, rule-bound and rude automatons, which is how the Swiss are coming over to me at the moment. So far, I have avoided going to Switzerland except for a week-end when sightseeing wasn't on the menu !!!! Please, are the Swiss really so awful - and how does a walking disabled person cope if no one offers to help & ignores anyone with a dilemma?
Also, does anyone know anything about the way a civil partnership works ? I'd hate to come out there, be b***** miserable & then find out he just wants my money !!!
As an important aside - is it usual for swiss men & women to share apartments platonically ? Seems odd to me, but then I'm English, but from what you all say it seems the Swiss are VERY proper.
Can anyone please say something to redeem the Swiss for me ????
Thank you
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Old 24.04.2007, 19:52
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

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I've been reading these threads for a while now as my Swiss gentleman friend ( at our age "boyfriend would be silly !!) wants me to go & live with him in the Bern area and from most of the comments made, I really don't think that Switzerland sounds a nice place to live !
For a start, I have bone problems and if I get barged on the train, I'm likely to break a few bones or worse, I can rely on people to help with my luggage in England as well . I can only speak halting Hoch Deutsch, I'm a very carefree outgoing person who chats to anyone and everyone & have made quite a few friends this way and so I don't see myself living with a load of miserable, rule-bound and rude automatons, which is how the Swiss are coming over to me at the moment. So far, I have avoided going to Switzerland except for a week-end when sightseeing wasn't on the menu !!!! Please, are the Swiss really so awful - and how does a walking disabled person cope if no one offers to help & ignores anyone with a dilemma?
Also, does anyone know anything about the way a civil partnership works ? I'd hate to come out there, be b***** miserable & then find out he just wants my money !!!
As an important aside - is it usual for swiss men & women to share apartments platonically ? Seems odd to me, but then I'm English, but from what you all say it seems the Swiss are VERY proper.
Can anyone please say something to redeem the Swiss for me ????
Thank you
It's unfortunate that the comments and threads on this site make you feel like the Swiss are an awful people. I'm actually a little shocked. You might be reading way more into these threads than is advisable.

I love living here.

The Swiss live together without being married all the time. I know several women in their 30s who have been with their partner for upwards of 5-10 years, live together and have no intention of getting married anytime soon.

I think you might have some other issues to work through than how the Swiss are. I almost can't believe your post is serious/real.
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Old 24.04.2007, 19:54
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

Apparently you've missed the threads saying good things about the Swiss. Some one always (always) helps a mother, the elderly, or a disabled person on the tram or bus.
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Old 24.04.2007, 20:24
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

been here 8 years and love every single minute of it. you'll find out, the swiss are not as bad as they're being painted.
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Old 24.04.2007, 20:24
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

why not come over for let's say 2 weeks or a month before taking the big leap and see for yourself.....
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Old 24.04.2007, 20:27
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

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why not come over for let's say 2 weeks or a month before taking the big leap and see for yourself.....
I think you'll find that we are all a bunch of hanbag swingers regards the Swiss & how "really" dreadful they are. If you look through some of the polls, you will see that the average length of stay for expats tends to be a little more long lived than a few years.
Expats everywhere like to moan & coming on the forum lets us get rid of some of lifes "niggles"
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Old 24.04.2007, 20:28
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

I can assure you I'm deadly serious - my O/H will be travelling and so I'll be left to my own devices for much of the time and so do need to make friends. I have lived abroad in various areas, but have never had any trouble making friends except in one or two countries, where the complaints echo the remarks made in the complaints forum, where if you discount the trivia most of the complaints seem to be about the Swiss' attitude and demeanor.
I WANT to like the Swiss ! And I came on here hoping that the stereotypes pictured were just that.
Re the living together - I was talking about platonic relationships ! I was also joking about him just wanting my money, but I don't understand the civil contract issues even though he has tried to explain they're very logical but it's better to get married.
Please don't take this post as offensive - I really am just asking for guidance and have no other issues than whether I could settle in Switzerland
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Old 24.04.2007, 20:34
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

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why not come over for let's say 2 weeks or a month before taking the big leap and see for yourself.....
I'm coming over in May for a few weeks - hence the post.
I was dreading having to get from Zurich to Bern by train when I can't carry my luggage - he won't get back till late & so can't meet me.
I'll probably end up in Basel as I get Bern as Basel mixed up ! Then I really will need help !
Thank you for your words of encouragement !
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Old 24.04.2007, 20:39
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

don't worry too much. you will find somebody who will be willing to give you a hand with your luggages. There are trains from Zürich who goes straight to bern without stops so that's not so difficult and if you get into trouble, all you need to do is ask....most of the controllers on board speaks several languages....
have fun in bern....
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Old 24.04.2007, 21:37
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

Also there is a Valet service at Zuerich airport. You just use the telephone and they come over in their smart suits and help you with your luggage.

Personally I love Switzerland. I've been here 12 years and quite frankly wouldn't live anywhere else.

Remember Gypsy, people tend to emphasise the negative aspects and rarely if ever, give praise where it's due.

Have yourself a great time.
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Old 24.04.2007, 22:03
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

Hi there,

I don't want to tread on anyones toes here, I do love Switzerland... at times... But as a person requiring assistance I do find that Zurich is not really that helpful... In particular the airport, although I guess, needing assistance and being young does mean I probably don't get taken that seriously.

HOWEVER, you are heading to Bern! I have had so many incredibly touching, friendly experiences with people in Bern that I would recommend Bern over Zurich for this very purpose. Of course if you are looking to make lots of money then Zurich is a better bet I hear

So, put down the negative comments to people being tired or having a bad day. There are rude people everywhere! Good luck on your trip over in May and I hope it works out for you.
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Old 24.04.2007, 22:37
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

Hi,

I have been in switzerland for 13 years now and have seen the Swiss change for the better. They are more open minded by far.....helpful?? In all honesty if I could turn back time....don't know if I would make the same decision.
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Old 24.04.2007, 22:53
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

Well Gypsy don`t know if I buy the poor little olè lady , so far , but if you are really shifting to Bern, elderly or infirm people are really respected and helped. Don`t know what threads you`re reading !! but overall the English Forum members are helpful with a FOREIGN overview of life in Switzerland.... best is of course is to experience yourself... as a traveller you will of course realize that,, Welcome regards kap..
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Old 24.04.2007, 23:18
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

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Apparently you've missed the threads saying good things about the Swiss. Some one always (always) helps a mother, the elderly, or a disabled person on the tram or bus.
I must have not been on that tram or bus... I have even seen some people fall and get passed by a dozen people, doors slammed in peoples' face, and things knocked from people and fallen and not so much as a turned head. But I don't think this is only here. There are far rougher places to live!
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Old 24.04.2007, 23:45
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

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Hi,

I have been in switzerland for 13 years now and have seen the Swiss change for the better. They are more open minded by far.....helpful?? In all honesty if I could turn back time....don't know if I would make the same decision.
I wish I was paid for the number of times I'd heard that statement, I'd certainly be well off.

And Gypsy,

OH! OH! OH!

Switzerland!

Switzerland is a lovely country, and you will meet friendly and helpfull people and without a doubt you will have a nice time here, but and this is THE BIG BUT,.

You are clearly no spring chicken and you say you are disabled, the question is how disabled? (not that I want to delve into your private sphere or know), BUT YOU MUST BE AWARE AND THIS IS ALSO FACTUALLY REPORTED,IT IS THE MOST DISRESPECTFUL AND BUILDING UNFRIENDLY, POLITICALLY UNCORRECT COUNTRY IN EUROPE TOWARDS THE DISABLED, ALTHOUGH IT IS GETTING A LITTLE BETTER, ALBEIT THIS IS FUELLED BY THE POLITICAINS.

Do speak to your boyfriend about this, I am sure he will not only confirm this, but agree with this.

And the problem with this is,should you meet the wrong person, ie in the street, the type of verbal you are likely to hear, 'here's another one,trying to live off the invalid pension', although this would never be the case. This has happened through the rabid few politicians putting the fear of god into the country, and believe me this will hurt you.
The truth here must be spoken and what I have written is fact.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Further,if your going to spend the rest of your time here,you must consider your OAP ,because you'll get nothing from here, things like your health insurance, because already ,in the eyes of anybody,your a health hazard.

However, if your coming here with pots of gold, then that certainly alleviates a lot of problems.
Then again if your boyfriend stands by you in the difficult times,that will occur without fail, that can and will be enormous help and benefit.
So do not come with eyes wide open, because there are serious problems here, especially with very, very stubborn authorities, you need tough skin and broad shoulders, and I know if your disabled you will have all these qualities within you, and the authorities will be no match for your tenacity.

As said earlier do come it's a lovely country and you will meet nice friendly people including the odd Brit or two,or three.

But you have been warned of the other side, don't let this however put you off do come and see the place, and then you can form your own opion.

All the best
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Old 25.04.2007, 00:16
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

Yes well Gypsy, according to YNOTS post best to stay at home dear and read the local`s tea leaves! It`s plain as pie that at your great age you musnt ,take any risks at all . So stick with what you know British rail, wheelchair friendly environment, sunshine workers, etc. and forget about any so called Alpine friendly, health rejevenating,life transforming experiences.. we`re all just as bogged down in day-day living like in the U.K. here and desperate for the day we can kiss the cukoo clocks goodbye...
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Old 25.04.2007, 00:26
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

The only way you can decide is by coming to have a look for yourself and spend a couple of weeks. Some people hate it, some love it. For my money, you'll be a lot safer in Switzerland, mugging elderlies and disabled seemed to have become a problem in the UK.

People wise, I don't know, you seem to have found a nice chap, why not imagine most of them are like him rather than focus on the "rule-bounds automatons" described in the forum.

The only time, in every country I've been that I've seen people ignore someone lying around was when it was clear it was someone who abused booze or drugs, otherwise I've never seen an elderly person or disabled person being ignored, not in Switzerland, not the in the UK.
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Old 25.04.2007, 00:41
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

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The only way you can decide is by coming to have a look for yourself and spend a couple of weeks. Some people hate it, some love it. For my money, you'll be a lot safer in Switzerland, mugging elderlies and disabled seemed to have become a problem in the UK.

People wise, I don't know, you seem to have found a nice chap, why not imagine most of them are like him rather than focus on the "rule-bounds automatons" described in the forum.

The only time, in every country I've been that I've seen people ignore someone lying around was when it was clear it was someone who abused booze or drugs, otherwise I've never seen an elderly person or disabled person being ignored, not in Switzerland, not the in the UK.

True,

But you cannot deny, the political abuse that the disabled people become.
My earlier neighbour, had a disabled child, was booked to go on a bus tour, the bus driver refused to take him, because he upset the passengers, simply becuase he was mongol looking, he was as quite as a mouse, he didn't fit the normal role.

Another case, took a friend who had a serious car accident, used a wheel chair, into a restaurant for some coffee they refused us because he was not acceptable for the other guests.
I could give more examples, I know it happens in other countries, but there are rules against it, but try it in say NZ or USA.

All I'm saying is , if your warned, then your prepared for the worst.
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Old 25.04.2007, 00:59
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

Disabled passengers have been kicked out, for being a bit too disabled to keep up with the strick turnover times from UK airlines/UK subsidary of an Irish airline or asked to pay for a wheelchair transportation. That kind of shit happens sadly.

Totally agree that there have been some horrible politicians indulging in rable rousing but there has been little impediment towards the implementation of disabled friendly policies.
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Old 25.04.2007, 01:05
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Re: I think I may be making a terrible mistake !!

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Disabled passengers have been kicked out, for being a bit too disabled to keep up with the strick turnover times from UK airlines/UK subsidary of an Irish airline or asked to pay for a wheelchair transportation. That kind of shit happens sadly.

Totally agree that there have been some horrible politicians indulging in rable rousing but there has been little impediment towards the implementation of disabled friendly policies.
Yeah, heard about that, didn't they have to pay a fine or compensation, not sure if they did or not.

Do you know ?

Sure hope they did.
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