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-   -   Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees? (https://www.englishforum.ch/daily-life/66062-hassocks-where-might-gentleman-obtain-relief-his-knees.html)

Dougal's Breakfast 02.11.2009 11:56

Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative means of acquiring such objects.

I live in Zurich.

J.L-P 02.11.2009 11:59

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Wiki says it's a town in the Mid Sussex district of West Sussex... . ;)

Edit: Ohhh ok, did you ever think of the home rarity- the pillow?

sharkey 02.11.2009 12:01

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dougal's Breakfast (Post 595459)
While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative source.

I live in Zurich.

Buy yourself a pair of Snickers, making certain to also pick up the Knee pad inserts.

Now you can spend all the time you'd like to on your knees.

As a bonus, if you spill some paint/cement/varnish on them you can pass yourself off as a "DIY Enthusiast". This is a licence to wear no belt, allowing better circulation of air around the rump. (Also known as "Builders Arse/Crack")

cricketer 02.11.2009 12:03

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Under new elf & safety regulations you are required to perform a risk assessment of any activity you undertake , home duties included.You have clearly violated the procedure and as a result will be required to report the incident to the authorites.
Next time you undertake similar duties I suggest you lie down.
Hassocks indeed - get a grip man....


Quote:

Originally Posted by Dougal's Breakfast (Post 595459)
While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative means of acquiring such objects.

I live in Zurich.


mirfield 02.11.2009 12:04

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
What about something like http://www.amazon.co.uk/Silverline-6...7159809&sr=8-3?



ETA: 'Cept they can't be shipped to CH - Presumably they infringe on Switzerland's neutrality.

Gastro Gnome 02.11.2009 12:05

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Important advice: Don't get cassocks and hassocks confused.

Suggestion: Make Züri rollerguy an offer he can't refuse for his knee pads.

Shinigami 02.11.2009 12:07

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Knee pads from a bike store or an "exteme sports" (combat sports) store?

weejeem 02.11.2009 12:13

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
And how are the elbows?
.

MacGregor's Daughter 02.11.2009 12:13

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
DB what exactly were those duties??

MathNut 02.11.2009 14:20

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by weejeem (Post 595480)
And how are the elbows?
.

Dreadfully sore too though he won't admit it. DB is nothing if not a gentleman.

Boxman 02.11.2009 14:22

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dougal's Breakfast (Post 595459)
While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative means of acquiring such objects.

I live in Zurich.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MathNut (Post 595698)
Dreadfully sore too though he won't admit it. DB is nothing if not a gentleman.

Forgive me for the picture in my mind's eye. I don't want to go into the sordid details; I do expect DB to have pain in places other than his knees and elbows :eek:

HTD 02.11.2009 16:26

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MathNut (Post 595698)
Dreadfully sore too though he won't admit it. DB is nothing if not a gentleman.

Indeed, I have heard of gentlemen being photographed in maids outfits holding a duster, but a raging bull with knee-caps ...

weejeem 02.11.2009 17:09

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MathNut (Post 595698)
Dreadfully sore too though he won't admit it. DB is nothing if not a gentleman.

I think he might cut quite a dash in a couple of cassocks...

Quote:

Originally Posted by HTD (Post 595990)
Indeed, I have heard of gentlemen being photographed in maids outfits holding a duster, but a raging bull with knee-caps ...

...but clearly, in this case, he would need to be defrocked first. :msnsarcastic:
.

Natasha 02.11.2009 17:11

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dougal's Breakfast (Post 595459)
While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative means of acquiring such objects.

I live in Zurich.

I would suggest investing in the wheelbarrow.

Sky 02.11.2009 21:25

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Learn something everday http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-hassock.htm :)
May I suggest the flea market ?
Or the online super duper big flea market called "le Troc" http://www.troc.com/en/

edot 02.11.2009 21:55

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
And I thought a snickers was a candy bar. Or a series of facial expressions. Huh. :o

Edited to add....that's what I thought a hassock was.....but somehow, I just don't understand the relationship here....and well, I best not pursue it.

Sky 02.11.2009 22:01

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by edot (Post 596413)
And I thought a snickers was a candy bar. Or a series of facial expressions. Huh. :o

I think he meant sneakers :)

edot 02.11.2009 22:14

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sky (Post 596422)
I think he meant sneakers :)

Really? Whew. I thought it was one of those British English words that I haven't a clue about. Thanks! :msnblush:

sharkey 02.11.2009 22:24

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by edot (Post 596413)
And I thought a snickers was a candy bar. Or a series of facial expressions. Huh. :o

Edited to add....that's what I thought a hassock was.....but somehow, I just don't understand the relationship here....and well, I best not pursue it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sky (Post 596422)
I think he meant sneakers :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by edot (Post 596432)
Really? Whew. I thought it was one of those British English words that I haven't a clue about. Thanks! :msnblush:

Oh, you poor ignorant fools. How little you know. ;)

Snickers, the only workwear for the discerning Chippy, Sparks, Plumber, Tiler, or General Handyman.

Available in various colours, often used as a uniform (eg. Blue for Chippies, Red for Sparks) to easily distinguish what b4stard ran off with your screw gun.

Unfortunately, I don't think they come in pink, DB. :p

Sky 02.11.2009 22:27

Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?
 
*ignoramus* :hide:


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