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Old 02.11.2009, 11:56
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Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative means of acquiring such objects.

I live in Zurich.
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Old 02.11.2009, 11:59
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

Wiki says it's a town in the Mid Sussex district of West Sussex... .

Edit: Ohhh ok, did you ever think of the home rarity- the pillow?
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Old 02.11.2009, 12:01
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative source.

I live in Zurich.
Buy yourself a pair of Snickers, making certain to also pick up the Knee pad inserts.

Now you can spend all the time you'd like to on your knees.

As a bonus, if you spill some paint/cement/varnish on them you can pass yourself off as a "DIY Enthusiast". This is a licence to wear no belt, allowing better circulation of air around the rump. (Also known as "Builders Arse/Crack")
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Old 02.11.2009, 12:03
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

Under new elf & safety regulations you are required to perform a risk assessment of any activity you undertake , home duties included.You have clearly violated the procedure and as a result will be required to report the incident to the authorites.
Next time you undertake similar duties I suggest you lie down.
Hassocks indeed - get a grip man....


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While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative means of acquiring such objects.

I live in Zurich.
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Old 02.11.2009, 12:04
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

What about something like http://www.amazon.co.uk/Silverline-6...7159809&sr=8-3?



ETA: 'Cept they can't be shipped to CH - Presumably they infringe on Switzerland's neutrality.
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Old 02.11.2009, 12:05
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

Important advice: Don't get cassocks and hassocks confused.

Suggestion: Make Züri rollerguy an offer he can't refuse for his knee pads.
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Old 02.11.2009, 12:07
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

Knee pads from a bike store or an "exteme sports" (combat sports) store?
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Old 02.11.2009, 12:13
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

And how are the elbows?
.
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Old 02.11.2009, 12:13
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

DB what exactly were those duties??
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Old 02.11.2009, 14:20
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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And how are the elbows?
.
Dreadfully sore too though he won't admit it. DB is nothing if not a gentleman.
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Old 02.11.2009, 14:22
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative means of acquiring such objects.

I live in Zurich.
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Dreadfully sore too though he won't admit it. DB is nothing if not a gentleman.
Forgive me for the picture in my mind's eye. I don't want to go into the sordid details; I do expect DB to have pain in places other than his knees and elbows
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Old 02.11.2009, 16:26
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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Dreadfully sore too though he won't admit it. DB is nothing if not a gentleman.
Indeed, I have heard of gentlemen being photographed in maids outfits holding a duster, but a raging bull with knee-caps ...
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Old 02.11.2009, 17:09
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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Dreadfully sore too though he won't admit it. DB is nothing if not a gentleman.
I think he might cut quite a dash in a couple of cassocks...

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Indeed, I have heard of gentlemen being photographed in maids outfits holding a duster, but a raging bull with knee-caps ...
...but clearly, in this case, he would need to be defrocked first.
.
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Old 02.11.2009, 17:11
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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While attending to my duties at home the other day, I received a bruise upon each knee as a consequence of sustained pressure from a hard, unyielding parquet floor.

Does anybody know where a gentleman might obtain a pair of hassocks (or similar) in order to relieve the inevitable discomfort that arises from such situations?

One would rather refrain from ecclesiastical pilfering, and would be grateful should someone be able to suggest an alternative means of acquiring such objects.

I live in Zurich.
I would suggest investing in the wheelbarrow.
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Old 02.11.2009, 21:25
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

Learn something everday http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-hassock.htm
May I suggest the flea market ?
Or the online super duper big flea market called "le Troc" http://www.troc.com/en/
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Old 02.11.2009, 21:55
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

And I thought a snickers was a candy bar. Or a series of facial expressions. Huh.

Edited to add....that's what I thought a hassock was.....but somehow, I just don't understand the relationship here....and well, I best not pursue it.
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Old 02.11.2009, 22:01
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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And I thought a snickers was a candy bar. Or a series of facial expressions. Huh.
I think he meant sneakers
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Old 02.11.2009, 22:14
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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I think he meant sneakers
Really? Whew. I thought it was one of those British English words that I haven't a clue about. Thanks!
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Old 02.11.2009, 22:24
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

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And I thought a snickers was a candy bar. Or a series of facial expressions. Huh.

Edited to add....that's what I thought a hassock was.....but somehow, I just don't understand the relationship here....and well, I best not pursue it.
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I think he meant sneakers
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Really? Whew. I thought it was one of those British English words that I haven't a clue about. Thanks!
Oh, you poor ignorant fools. How little you know.

Snickers, the only workwear for the discerning Chippy, Sparks, Plumber, Tiler, or General Handyman.

Available in various colours, often used as a uniform (eg. Blue for Chippies, Red for Sparks) to easily distinguish what b4stard ran off with your screw gun.

Unfortunately, I don't think they come in pink, DB.
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Old 02.11.2009, 22:27
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Re: Hassocks; or Where might a gentleman obtain relief for his knees?

*ignoramus*
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