Hello everyone,

Well, could you anyone please share with me your experience in living and studying in Lugano? I am a foreign student and feel it so hard to get used to the life here, with peole here. I feel so lonely in my class and always have problem of finding partners for groupwork. I try to open to other students, smile and talk to them, but it seems useless. Day by day, I am just like alone, though around with other friends. I feel tired of going to class and just try to study as much as possible. Even my results are quite impressive ( as for some subject, the grades are announced in class), it seems like the situation doesn't change. I tried to go closer to other students and think of topic to chat with them, but then finally I am still alone. They are always together, group with group and I feel like a small thing that just follows them, I feel so ashamed. Then I decide to change, to stand by my own and doesn't try to follow anyone, life is the same.
Consequently, I feel quite frustrated. Could anyone please give me an advice what should I do now?

Thanks a lot,
Lonely star

hello there, I've lived and worked in lugano for 5 years and to say from personal experience that I loved it. Maybe my situation is not quite the same as yours, since these are colleagues who later on became very good friends. We are just stuck together...no other choice...so maybe that helped a little. But I should say my bose made a good job because he did a lot of team building and in my opinion that has amalgamated the friendship too. Anyway, making friends in general here in switzerland is not easy. People enjoy their personal space and takes really a lot of time to warm up to strangers. I say don' let this stand in your way in reaching your goal. Just keep on trying to talk to them.
If you're studying in lugano I presume you speak italian? or am I simply assuming that you are studying in the Swiss Italian University?

Hi,

Thanks for sharing with me. Well, the matter is that I am living in Lugano but can't speak an Italian word . I tried to learn but I don't have time because of the heavy study load, then have to give up. I am now studying in English entirely. However, I can speak some German as I have lived in Zurich before coming to Lugano. In my class, there are only 3 Asian (I am one of them), the rest most of them are Swiss, German and some Russian and Italian. It seems very hard for me as Swiss and German are extremely very cold, the rest are not exeptional.
I would be very appreciate if any of you would share with me and give me some tips to be a group member.

Cheers,
Rodrose

Hi rodrose,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation in Lugano. It can be tough being an international student at times; I used to be involved in international student activities at the university where I did my undergrad, and the number one complaint from international students was that they had a hard time meeting people and fitting in.

To have better luck meeting people, you might want to look outside the classroom. Often universities have clubs or associations for international students. I was involved in one when I studied abroad, and found it a great way to meet people who were in a similar situation to me, as I also had a hard time forming friendships in the context of a classroom. When my husband was studying as an international student there was no association for international students at the university, so he formed one and became it's first president! Now years after he's left, the association is still going strong, and hosts activities for sometimes hundreds of people, as well as weekly social events, weekend trips, etc.

Apart from societies for international students, you could also become involved in group activities that interest you, whether it's playing team sports, watching anime, or going for hikes on weekends. You'll likely have an easier time fitting in with a group of people with whom you can discuss common interests, as opposed to merely schoolwork. These might be advertised on the university webspace, or on posters around campus.

(By the way, I noticed form your profile that you speak Chinese, and that there's a Chinese Students and Scholars Association listed on the unisi website. That might be a good place to start!)

Good luck with your efforts!

HeatherM

Lugano! Fantastic place lucky you! Probably the best place in Switzerland. But then I would say that as I have an appartment there. Seriously, Its like Italy but without the dirt, decay and vandalism. Luckily for you it realy comes to life in the summer with loads going on (Get a monthy prog from the tourist office) lots of language schools there and an American School. Just find out where the other students hang out and you will be picking up friends by the dozen. Dont fret too much about the Italian as a lot of the locals speak English. Enjoy

Hi Rodrose

sorry you're having a hard time. I would go with Heather's advice, find friends outside of your class group via uni clubs etc. I bet after a while your class members will start to get interested in what you were doing at the weekend, you may find some of them then want to join you!

Good luck, and stick with it

Hi,
I guess in the italian part you have to speak a little of italian if you want to get integrated, although many say that english is enough (I'd say it's not).

Your experience reminds me the work environment that I've found in the place where I live now (and fortunately I will leave in a few days). Don't desperate, I guarantee that sooner or later you will get your chance to make friends, it's just a matter of time.

Don't feel so lonely (even though I reckon it's hard when you are surrounded by people that make you feel invisible) and do as much as possible to not get sick with yourself and the others. Find a gym, a place where to meet people, do the best. You will get paid back from the efforts.

And yes, if possible learn Italian. I don't say this just because it's my language but I reckon that without it living in Lugano might result hard.

We'll be in the same boat when I will be in Zurich, I will have to go for some german classes for sure. But I know it's plenty of italians there and I will get my chances to make friends. Also, in general any foreigner could be a good friend of yours. Being on the same boat means sharing the same problems, experience, etc.. and this is all good to make friends.

After a few years traveling you will get used to this and you will work out the problem more easily. Sometimes it's harder than usual, some other times the place is not for you... but it's worth trying before defeating.

Stay well.


Fabio

Sounds like you're having a crap time of it, hey? I'm a little too old to be a student, but I do work in Lugano during the week. I know what you mean - it's a curious place, with everyone kinda doing their own thing - and not paying attention to anyone else - especially foreigners. I don't know about you, but the main thing for me is the language barrier (I'm learning Italian, but slowly)..?

M.

Hi,

I also lived in Lugano for some time, and I can understand that you're finding it difficult to meet people there. Its a very closed group, everyone has known everyone else forever, they grew up together, went to the same schools, etc. So its difficult to come in as an outsider.

The only recommendations I have are
1) try to hang out with the other international students (they should be in a similar situation). The other Asians or Russians would be my starting point (no language barrier as they neither speak German nor Italian). Send a mail to all of them and propose that you would organise an event or activity (there's enough you can do in the area, ranging from going to Milan, Bergamo or Lake Como to wakeboarding on Lago Maggiore or fly-fishing in Verzasca valley).

2) If you want to integrate outside of university try through sports clubs or the like. I have a friend who has been living there for a few years now, and he has become a real "Ticinese" by now. That was mainly through playing soccer, tennis, etc. with the locals.

One tip - this might not apply to you at all, but I've seen international students from Asian countries are often very focused on studying and working hard and end up being somewhat isolated. European students rather get to know each other through social activities (often includes heavy drinking ) and will then tend to form study groups with those people they know socially/personally. To keep it short: just try to have as much fun as possible and don't take things too seriously!

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Aye!

I'm an Asian but I'm working in Basel. Switzerland is my first encounter with European (most of my social circle here are foreigners living in Switzerland, including Germans). It was a bit hard for me too in first 6 months since everything is so different and I found it difficult to fit into local groups (yeah, I felt like I'm an alien among them and I don't speak their language).
But drinking is the best way to socialize... it seems that's the only time they're more open to strangers! Then you'll slowly building up your social circles.

That is normal, all of us are lonely, but it's getting betterTake it easy you are not alone in being lonely

But drinking is the best way to socialize... it seems that's the only time they're more open to strangers! Then you'll slowly building up your social circles.


very clever observation

Lugano has lots of company in terms of - so lonely a place. I live in the countryside dykes of St. Gallen and know that it can get frightfully lonely sometimes...but the more one learns the language the better things become. When I first landed I could hardly say a word in German now 3 years down the road I converse easily with those who are open enough to converse with me....and one gets to know more people in this way....

Hi there, I am not a student, and I can't speak Italian at this point either. We just came to Lugano, and I understand you. I feel the same, but this happen to me before when i moved from Ukraine to the US. So, when it is happening to you second time, you know what to expect and how to deal with the problem, more or less. If you have skype you can find me there, my name there is elena.cordery, we could chat and share the experience. Don't be upset, this happens to a lot of people, and there are ways to fix this problem.

Seems like you are in a class with no Ticinese, only other foreigners. Isn't the problem one of integrating with them, for study purposes, instead of with the locals, primarily, based on how you explained the problem originally?

First to the language. You do not have to be perfect in Italian to use Italian as the language to approach people.

Then the approach. Smiling and approaching people in Ticino by wanting to talk sounds a bit too much on the academic side. Rather purchase a panettone and a bottle of Merlot and after the end of the class hours invite locals to share the pleasure with you. Be it in your lodgings, be it in the cantina.

And IF approaching the Ticinesi, ask about local affairs of any kind, for instance how to get up onto the San Salvatore or the Monte Bre, or about Lugano Agno Airport, or whether a visit to Campione d'Italia is interesting, or about Melide and its Swiss Miniature. Or enquire about weekend excursions to Varese and Milano.

Hey Rodrose,

Why don't you try participating to parties. Some invitations are announced via our university's mail. For ex. yesterday all USI was at Tito's place and we had a great time. I met new people from my major, that I was seeing them before but never talked. But we met and I know that I will be closer to them day by day.. Follow the schedule and never stay at the back during the conversations at the break time. All people are so lovely here. Even you don't know Italian or german or French doesn't matter...

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Nilly