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  #41  
Old 21.01.2010, 15:54
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Do you get involved in street fights frequently?

Used to, bars mostly the good times hahaha
Not anymore tho.

People carry knifes and guns these days.....and Ive been smacked with a gun once, it hurts but I still beat the **** out of him cause he didnt have a clip in it hahaha
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  #42  
Old 21.01.2010, 15:55
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

anyway back on topic, OP go to the school and let the teacher and headmaster know whats going on, they will care!

If they don't then mention that your going to take your child to the hospital as he has had a headache since the attack, it will be offically logged, that will get them to take note.

But as I said in our case as soon as the teacher got involved it stopped.
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  #43  
Old 21.01.2010, 15:57
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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anyway back on topic, OP go to the school and let the teacher and headmaster know whats going on, they will care!

If they don't then mention that your going to take your child to the hospital as he has had a headache since the attack, it will be offically logged, that will get them to take note.

But as I said in our case as soon as the teacher got involved it stopped.
I agree and send him to some classes.
Dont be by his side all the time, if he needs to fall a few times before getting it so be it.
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  #44  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:00
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

I can completely understand how you feel, Mariposa. My kids have also had one or two incidents on their way to and from school - although luckily nothing as bad as you describe. You mention that the child's grandmother is a nice lady. Is there no way of communicating with her? A much older child once blocked the way for my son and his friends when thex were in the first class and I mentioned it to his grandmother and explained that it frightnened them. She had a word with him and that was the end of the matter.

I am also wondering whether there are any other children your son could walk with. Most teachers and other parents are keen for kids to meet up and walk to school together. I think there's always more safety in numbers.

I hope things work themselves out ... I've found with kids that they often do, although I would also speak to your son's teacher.
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Old 21.01.2010, 16:07
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

I have to agree to some extent with Anthony1406. You have to learn to fight your own battles - and against 3 older boys, fists will not be the weapons of choice.
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Old 21.01.2010, 16:08
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Youve already had a couple of good advice from EF. I have kids, eldest is about 6 and would cringe if any thing close to this happenned to her.Write a letter in english get it translated to german, french and italian send copies to the boys parent and the english one to the school ask them to sort it out and tell them what you expect from them. be realistic and also tell them what your next actions would be if not resolved.Hope for the best. In the meantime, continue to follow your son to school until its resolved. I wish you all the best.
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  #47  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:14
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Ok, it is a complaints corner. But what has really happened? There is fresh snow and some primary school kids have thrown some snowballs. I had a business dinner yesterday and my boss has thrown one after me as well. I did not call the police.

Bullying is a serious problem for kids, but maybe my definition is wrong: If the older kids continuously and seriously threaten or physically attack, it is time to talk to the school. If my mum would have called somebody everytime I was on the receiving end of snowballs... or getting calls everytime I throw some on other kids...

I am too lazy to look it up, but there has recently been a long discussion on "the good old days where kids grew up without a playstation". Throwing snowballs is part of that and has hardly ever killed a six year old boy.

I would not call the police that is simply way OTT. If the same boys keep on singeling out your boy, talk to the parents of the boy next door. They have effective tools to tell their son what to do or not.

Everytime I have seen this going the official way through school it got only worse: The teacher will preach to the class of the older boys how bad violence is, that they should rather protect the younger ones than attack them and so on. He will tell the class that "some made some mistakes", so now all need to read a boring text on the topic instead of something they would have much more enjoyed... On that day your son would really needs to run home.

For now, i would do nothing, even if it might be hard for you to accept that kids need to learn some things on their own. But maybe it is a cultural difference... or the times are changing faster than I thought. It reminds me a bit of the SouthPark episode where the kids kept on suing the school...
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  #48  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:15
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Write a letter in english get it translated to german, french and italian send copies to the boys parent and the english one to the school
wouldn't all three be a bit overkill? Never been to Ennetbürgen but it's in a pretty solidly German-speaking region.
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  #49  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:16
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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my girl was only 2 years old when she got beaten up by 3 same age kids. The teacher said she just stood there and not fight back or saying no. She still have the scar on face even after 4 months!.
Sorry it happened to your child. But what was the teacher doing, then, if she knows how you child behaved in that specific moment? Also just standing and watching? It must have been a hell of a scratch to scar still after 4mos.

Isn't safety a reason why we put kids in daycares so they wouldn't get hurt, why don't we just send them outside with no suppervision and hope they learn the ropes. The fact that 2yr old does not know how to beat up other kids should not make the teacher point out that the kiddo is failing in "self-defence", it sounds absurd to me. Maybe the teacher just forgot to teach the kids "we do not hurt others - break their noses, cut them, yank their hair, snatch their toys," whatever.
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  #50  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:20
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Sorry it happened to your child. But what was the teacher doing, then, if she knows how you child behaved in that specific moment? Also just standing and watching? It must have been a hell of a scratch to scar still after 4mos.

Isn't safety a reason why we put kids in daycares so they wouldn't get hurt, why don't we just send them outside with no suppervision and hope they learn the ropes. The fact that 2yr old does not know how to beat up other kids should not make the teacher point out that the kiddo is failing in "self-defence", it sounds absurd to me. Maybe the teacher just forgot to teach the kids "we do not hurt others - break their noses, cut them, yank their hair, snatch their toys," whatever.

Cause they are kids.....back when I was in school there was no playstation and such, we d play outside and scars all over proved that we got in little skirmishes , fell , banged our head, etc....


OK the teacher should have stepped in but prob acted the way she saw fit. you were not there so you dont know....
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  #51  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:22
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

I am so sorry what happened to your son, being a mother my self i feel for you, but don`t blame yourself for not walking with him from school you did not know this was going to happen.

My daughter was bullied last year by a boy in her class and 2 of his friends i had a talk with the teacher and she tried to sort it out, but it just made it worse for my daughter, so i went to the school and waited with my daughter so she could show me who the boys were, when they saw me they tried to run away, i chased them (i was in my vehicle, and no not on the pavement) told them to stop running, got out and had a little word with them, after that she was never bullied by them again, they even brought her some sweets the next day and said sorry to her again (i made them say sorry while i was with her as well).

Goodluck and i hope you can get this sorted out ASAP.
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  #52  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:30
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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My daughter was bullied last year by a boy in her class and 2 of his friends i had a talk with the teacher and she tried to sort it out, but it just made it worse for my daughter, so i went to the school and waited with my daughter so she could show me who the boys were, when they saw me they tried to run away, i chased them (i was in my vehicle, and no not on the pavement) told them to stop running, got out and had a little word with them, after that she was never bullied by them again, they even brought her some sweets the next day and said sorry to her again (i made them say sorry while i was with her as well).
Now that is some sound advice: A mother chasing me with a vehicle would have scared the * out of me as a child... especially one of those unpredictable foreigners...
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  #53  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:32
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

the 'teacher' in me would suggest asking for the support of the parents of the bully, or indeed teachers in the school.. assuming he is at the same school as your son? bullying is extremely stressful for children and has long lasting memories - but we all know this.

that said -and at the risk of being a little controversial- the psychologist in me would suggest that your 6 year old will need to find the strength to stand up to the child (albeit one that is 3 years older). there is no simple solution to how he does this (i am not suggesting violence) or how you can support him to achieve such a thing, and it is potentially a high risk strategy for your son. however, one suggestion - you could ask your son (at a moment during his week where he feels strong and confident) to consider what he might be able to do to change the situation. you may be amazed at his ideas. even if no solution is found, just the discussion around possible strategies to tackle a bully is one that your son may feel liberated and empowered by.

this may all seem a little much for a 6 year old, but i learned very quickly not to underestimate the thinking of a young child. you just need to ask the right questions.

i send you both all the good luck and best wishes for managing a challenging situation.

Lysandra
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  #54  
Old 21.01.2010, 16:33
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Now that is some sound advice: A mother chasing me with a vehicle would have scared the * out of me as a child... especially one of those unpredictable foreigners...
Hahaha lol thanks for the giggle your post made me spit my tea all over my laptop
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Old 21.01.2010, 16:35
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

I will give you my experience. I used to get bullied by a guy in school and I came home and complained to my mum. She told me to "be a man and fight for my rights if I have to". I followed her advice and gave the guy a few warnings first and when he continued with the bullying I got up and just punched him! Sure, he was bigger than me and I got punched back, but the after that the bullying stopped! It taught me a lot about life I can tell you. Perhaps this is not quite PC for most people these days, but to me it was a positive experience and I stand by its effectiveness.
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Old 21.01.2010, 16:36
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Ok, it is a complaints corner. But what has really happened? There is fresh snow and some primary school kids have thrown some snowballs. I had a business dinner yesterday and my boss has thrown one after me as well. I did not call the police.
Sorry but that is nothing to do with this thread. Your boss was probably larking about when he threw the snowball in jest and didn't do it to intimidate you and give you a bleeding nose. If he had, how would you have reacted?

I think if I was chased by a gang of bigger people who bloodied my nose, scared the living daylights out of me and got me soaking wet in the middle of winter I might just have decided that it was worth mentioning it to someone who might be able to ensure it didn't happen to me or anyone else in future.

Now, does this scenario seem any better now that we know that in the case of the OP it was "just kids"?
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Old 21.01.2010, 16:39
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Hahaha lol thanks for the giggle your post made me spit my tea all over my laptop
I naturally had already prejudices when I was at primary school. As a kid you are easily convinced that places and people are really like the TV shows them... in your case: How do English speakers drive?

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Old 21.01.2010, 16:46
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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I naturally had already prejudices when I was at primary school. As a kid you are easily convinced that places and people are really like the TV shows them... in your case: How do English speakers drive?

My son thanks you for the video he wants to drive like that when he his older
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Old 21.01.2010, 16:48
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Sorry but that is nothing to do with this thread. Your boss was probably larking about when he threw the snowball in jest and didn't do it to intimidate you and give you a bleeding nose. If he had, how would you have reacted?

I think if I was chased by a gang of bigger people who bloodied my nose, scared the living daylights out of me and got me soaking wet in the middle of winter I might just have decided that it was worth mentioning it to someone who might be able to ensure it didn't happen to me or anyone else in future.

Now, does this scenario seem any better now that we know that in the case of the OP it was "just kids"?
Ok, just to get the facts straigth:

1. Some boys threw some snow balls.
2. the kid fell
3. nose bleeds

Where do you get the insight that the nose bleed from a snowball, I guess the falling is more likely. And why on earth do you expect the kids to have the intention to give him a bleeding nose? They might feel sorry about it or have not even recognized it at all.
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Old 21.01.2010, 16:58
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Long term, best thing is that your son learns to fight back.
I recommend: Put him in a boxing club. No jokes, seriously.
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