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Old 21.01.2010, 14:35
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My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

My 6 years old son is getting bullied by our neighbours' grandson, who is 3 years older. I think they clashed one day at the park outside our flat (the communal park) but I didn't pay much attention to it, as I though it was something that would pass. A few weeks ago, my son told me that this boy was making fun of him with his friends, when coming back home from school. As I'm really trying for him to be part of the group, I let him walk back home on his own but from that day I decided to walk back from school with him as well, just in case these children keep teasing him.
Today, he walked back on his own because I the weather was nice and I didn't hear from this boy again but he arrived today all wet and with his nose bleeding (you can imagine how I felt) He told me this boy and his friends (3 other guys) started throwing snow balls at him, all at once and he had fell on the floor and they kept throwing balls at him, even when he started crying. After that he managed to stand up and run from them! My poor little boy on his own, I just felt really bad about not going to pick him up from school.
But now, I need to know how to handle this problem, the grandmother lives in our building (she is a very nice Swiss lady) but she doesn't speak any English. I can't communicate with her and don't want to complicate things with her, as she is our neighbour. The boy lives with his parents somewhere else, comes to have lunch at granny's everyday.
The boy speaks a bit of English, I though of talking with him directly, in fact I was that upset that I walked to school with my son today looking for him, I'm glad I didn't found him, because my head was so hot!! I'm sure I would have screamed at him. Now I have cooled down a bit, and I'm thinking maybe there would be another way to tackle this situation rather than speaking with the boy only?
Some advise please!! As I don't want to upset my neighbour but I definitely don't want this to happen again!
Any advice on this would be very much appreciated!!
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:41
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

I really wish you could talk to your neighbour first. But since you can't, then call your son's teacher and explain what has happened. The school is very interested in what happens to kids on their way to and from school. They'll probably talk to the troublemakers and, if the issue continues, will set up a meeting with the parents.

And call today. The sooner, the better.
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:42
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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My 6 years old son is getting bullied by our neighbours' grandson, who is 3 years older. I think they clashed one day at the park outside our flat (the communal park) but I didn't pay much attention to it, as I though it was something that would pass. A few weeks ago, my son told me that this boy was making fun of him with his friends, when coming back home from school. As I'm really trying for him to be part of the group, I let him walk back home on his own but from that day I decided to walk back from school with him as well, just in case these children keep teasing him.
Today, he walked back on his own because I the weather was nice and I didn't hear from this boy again but he arrived today all wet and with his nose bleeding (you can imagine how I felt) He told me this boy and his friends (3 other guys) started throwing snow balls at him, all at once and he had fell on the floor and they kept throwing balls at him, even when he started crying. After that he managed to stand up and run from them! My poor little boy on his own, I just felt really bad about not going to pick him up from school.
But now, I need to know how to handle this problem, the grandmother lives in our building (she is a very nice Swiss lady) but she doesn't speak any English. I can't communicate with her and don't want to complicate things with her, as she is our neighbour. The boy lives with his parents somewhere else, comes to have lunch at granny's everyday.
The boy speaks a bit of English, I though of talking with him directly, in fact I was that upset that I walked to school with my son today looking for him, I'm glad I didn't found him, because my head was so hot!! I'm sure I would have screamed at him. Now I have cooled down a bit, and I'm thinking maybe there would be another way to tackle this situation rather than speaking with the boy only?
Some advise please!! As I don't want to upset my neighbour but I definitely don't want this to happen again!
Any advice on this would be very much appreciated!!
Uhhhh this is terrible .But guess what I got "Bullied" when i grew up .I am growen up (almost) now and know how to defend myself .It happens also to my kid`z
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:42
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Im sorry for what your kid is going through, I was bullied at school too until I grew up fast and was bigger than all of them *evil grin*.
I think you should talk to an adult not a child, because it could be taken out of context. Maybe a teacher if they both go to the same school or try to get someone who speaks German to help you. You have to stay polite but communicate that this is the last time this happens or you will be forced to make a complain to authorities.
Just my two cents...maybe someone is more experienced with dealing with bullies, last time I had to deal with one I puched her and knocked her of unconcious ( I was 5 )
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:42
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Find the boy, grab the little s*** by the scruff of his neck, hopefully in front of his little pals, and tell him in the most serious manner to leave your son alone or else you will go to the police. That'll learn him.
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:42
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Old 21.01.2010, 14:43
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Hi Mariposa,

Sorry to hear you are having trouble. I don't have kids, so probably not your best bet for advice - but here are a couple of other threads that might be of interest to you:
Child bullying in 1st Grade
Young children bullying
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:47
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Find the boy, grab the little s*** by the scruff of his neck, hopefully in front of his little pals, and tell him in the most serious manner to leave your son alone or else you will go to the police. That'll learn him.
Of course that's what you feel like doing but that could get YOU in big trouble for attacking a youngster being an adult.

As said before, report to the teacher or principal and hopefully that won't make things worse for your son. Good luck.
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:50
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

No one said attack, harm or hurt,shake or bruise, just grab the collar (hey I didnt touch him)..shame and fear are great motivators, I don't go much for the hand wringing, oh the poor bully sort of stuff.
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:54
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

I would send a letter to school tomorrow with your son, tell the teacher explicitly what happened and what you expect them to do, i.e. talk to the boy and his friends and explain this behavior is inappropriate and what the consequences are if they persist.

Tell them that your son acted appropriately by telling you and that you now look to them to help resolve the issue.

If this does not stop, go up in person but this could, unfortunately, be another bullying trigger (getting mum to fight your battles is a common foundation for bullying). But it is worth underscoring to the teacher how serious this is and how serious you demand they treat it too.

If there is no change, I would try similar tactic with the parents, write to them and tell them you expect their son to behave better and that if they persist you will have no choice but to press assault charges. (Im sure it won't come to this but Im sure most parents would prefer to save face and get their child in check), the letter will allow that they can do this without them getting defensive of their child to you and you ending up in a slanging match.

Good luck, it is not very nice when you feel like you have let down your child, as a parent. I am sure, responding calmly but firmly to the appropriate people, who can bring about change is the way to go.

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Old 21.01.2010, 14:56
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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No one said attack, harm or hurt,shake or bruise, just grab the collar (hey I didnt touch him)..shame and fear are great motivators, I don't go much for the hand wringing, oh the poor bully sort of stuff.
Of course he is not the poor bully, that's not the point. Somebody sees you or he tells his parents and you're in trouble.
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Old 21.01.2010, 14:57
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Don't try to take matters into your own hands. It might muddy the waters later when you try to straighten things out with the school if you already have "history" with the family.

Go straight to the teacher and ask for the head of the school to be involved with the meeting. Your son was assaulted and, even though it was between kids, it is still a criminal act (you said his nose was bloodied through being attacked).

I think I would have involved the police, at least lodged it with them to put it on record.

If these kids are capable of that, they could be capable of worse. The "pack" mentality can push them to do things they wouldn't do on their own.
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Old 21.01.2010, 15:07
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Ah you are probably right.I am really just playing devils advocate. Bullies really make me angry as I suffered a bit when I changed schools, but the grabbing by the scruff worked a treat for me though....
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Old 21.01.2010, 15:12
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Sorry for your troubles but "go the the Police" common haha . Ha like they would have time to do anything. Just send Your son to Martial arts, boxing, or rugby training and let him deal with it.
Thats what my rents did and I did beat a few of them down to the ground. Much better and it will reduce the risk of him being teased even more cause mommy stepped in.

Make him stand up for himself.
I started boxing when I was 4 with my dad in the garage.
Soon as he sets an example they will leave him alone.

Police for christ sake....
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Old 21.01.2010, 15:15
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Sorry for your troubles but "go the the Police" common haha . Ha like they would have time to do anything. Just send Your son to Martial arts, boxing, or rugby training and let him deal with it.
Thats what my rents did and I did beat a few of them down to the ground. Much better and it will reduce the risk of him being teased even more cause mommy stepped in.

Make him stand up for himself.
I started boxing when I was 4 with my dad in the garage.
Soon as he sets an example they will leave him alone.

Police for christ sake....
And how exactly would Queensbury rules or a rugby ball help a six year old out when there is a whole gang of older boys after him?
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Old 21.01.2010, 15:21
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

Reporting it to the teacher or the principal immediately is the best reaction. The schools want and need to know which students are being aggressive. This will help them discipline the student accordingly now and in the future.

Calling the police but not the school does not help. The police do not work together with schools very well. Police records are not seen by school administrations.

Please call/inform the teacher/principal immediately. And take pictures of your son as proof.
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Old 21.01.2010, 15:22
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

well several possibilities.

1 not go down from a snowball
2 learn how to run.
3 learn how to take a blow (in this case from the snowball)
4. learn how to talk back

Yes I am very well aware that he is 6 but those little fellas are quit capable of defending themselves if YOU let them.
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Old 21.01.2010, 15:24
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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well several possibilities.

1 not go down from a snowball
2 learn how to run.
3 learn how to take a blow (in this case from the snowball)
4. learn how to talk back

Yes I am very well aware that he is 6 but those little fellas are quit capable of defending themselves if YOU let them.
Against a gang of older boys? Maybe for the Karate Kid but usually not in real life.
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Old 21.01.2010, 15:26
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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well several possibilities.

1 not go down from a snowball
2 learn how to run.
3 learn how to take a blow (in this case from the snowball)
4. learn how to talk back

Yes I am very well aware that he is 6 but those little fellas are quit capable of defending themselves if YOU let them.
Yes exactly, one 6-year old against 3-4 9-year olds why didn't I see it?
Plus, as you should know (and Karate kid was only a movie) you need a lot of practice before you can defend yourself with martial arts or boxing, while this matter need immediate dealing with.
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Old 21.01.2010, 15:26
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Re: My son is getting bullied at school, need some advise how to handle it, pls???

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Against a gang of older boys? Maybe for the Karate Kid but usually not in real life.
AH you were faster than I!!!
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