In full support of number 4) above.

A good friend moved to Lisbon, Portugal awhile back and his fiancé (and eventual wife) went through the same thing. After a bit of time at home she realised her unhappiness was more fundamental and was not actually dependant on where she actually was. She managed to get herself sorted and eventually returned.

If you still love her do not give up hope just yet but instigate 5) & 6) ASAP anyway.

Dont worry about it too much it really does get better

I moved oner here to be with a Swiss girl, we have been together for ten years and she gave me the flick completely out of the blue and I as you without many friends felt sad and lonely, however I have a good job this is something I really got stuck into to keep my mind of things (an of course whisky) eventually the heartache subsided and I am very very happy to have stayed here. the lifestyle over here is so much better than back home I don't think going back would have helped me as I find the place too depressing at the moment.

Hang in there mate it's hard but just think of yourself and your future. It's good to be single for a while, get out and have fun

I re-phrased this post about twenty times...
To make my drivel short: 'Do you still love her?'

Left everything and moved here for love. It didnt work out in the end but in four weeks, I am marrying a wonderful man, who I wouldnt have met had I not been here. Everything happens for a reason. Chin up!

Aww I love this post - so many wonderful stories of people finding love after such heartbreak.

Sorry of course to the OP, I am sorry to hear about your situation, but as many have said better now than after the wedding... I hope you can pull yourself out of the depression and meet lots of fabulous people here!! I love ZH, I am single here and honestly its a lot of fun!

One thing I guess is to really determine if it is over or if its a temporary thing - i know for me this helps with the moving on stage, its really hard to move on unless you have truly said goodbye.

Hi again...thanks for all the replies.

For the first...yes. I do. I did so much to make this work. Admittedly, I was lucky with the job and did kind of fall on my feet. Not sure how long I would have seen it out without that. But yes, I've only wanted us to enjoy the experience of being here and so close to all these other great cities.

For the second, I don't know. It's all happened so, so fast. At first it was just a postponement, then a cancellation, then over. In just a few days. I can't get my head around it and it hurts to try..!

I just wanted to throw in a big thank you to the men here in this thread.
Even though it is all quite sad what you've gone through I deeply appreciate the quiet and respectful way of how you've expressed yourselves about your personal experiences.

Something we women, well I do anyway, can learn quite something from.


I know this is a terribly fluffy post ... sorry about that.

Stay. Tan. Learn to ski. Impress tourist girls. Have lots of sex. Smile again. Then decide.







Bet you'll stay

Good luck mate

Oops....should have read that before I posted my last thread

Same thing happened to me three weeks before I moved to Switzerland, but I am here now and I'm staying (basically because I can't be bothered to move again). There's plenty more fish in the sea and although CH doesn't have a sea it has loads of lakes! Good luck.

chortle... No worries.

Probably she does too.

Judging from: The struggling obviously indicates that there have been still strong feelings for you until very recently but something had irritated her so severly that she assumedshe won't have the strenght to stand this through.

If I may give an advice to you:
If she doesn't have the strenght, then you have to show now that you have, for both of you. Probably you'll know exactly what is the problem, and even know what she expects you to do now .



(Sorry for my crap English, I hope it makes sense what I tried to write.)

Sorry to hear of your break-up, but sounds like you have got yourself a good job that you like and you seem to enjoy it here.

The wounds will heal, so I would try and stick it out and start a new social circel to get you through.

As for the flat, I have 2 properties back home that we rent out through a national letting agency through a guarenteed rent scheme. Yes, you get slightly less than the market value, but as it's enough to cover our motgages and expenses, we can live with it! I will PM you the name of the company in case I'm not allowed to put their name here....

Cheers

Sean

Stay and make a new life for yourself. Don't look back when the future is so promising.

8 weeks after the ending of my engagement, I am THANKING my ex for the journey that got me to where I am today: here, in a good place.

Maybe in 2 months you won't even recognize your life.

My advice is to start smiling and laughing. I have new friends, supportive old friends, an additional part-time job and someone special in my life...someone incredible who sort of fell from the sky when I least expected it. I might add that it happened only when I decided to be happy alone.

If you are curious, I got a ton of good advice on this topic:
Is there hope for newly-single 30+ in CH?

She left you voluntarily and you are upset about it? Whats wrong with you, if you cannot find someone else, there are always the common Swiss way i.e. to the brothel.

Hey guys...I am in UK at the moment *recovering* so had not checked the replies. Thanks to all who posted - the majority are thoughtful reposnses, but even the non-thoughtful ones raise some interesting points...

At the moment, I really am 50/50 but I'm beginning to lean toward staying in CH and giving it another 12 months.

My biggest fear I suppose is not that I wont make friends, I'm an amiable enough chap, but of not meeting members of the opposite sex. But there are plenty of stories here of people who did just that. (inappropriate emoticon use?)

Anyway...back to the flat hunting...

I have been in a similar situation, maybe more harder as i were actually married for 3 years and we had a kid, as much as you might feel lonely and sad now, in exactly 6 months of going out often and getting to know people, you'll discover how great it is to be on your own, everyone needs time on their own but we never realize it.

Look on the bright side - the relationship ended before you had tied the knot. Cancelling a wedding is a lot cheaper than a divorce!

Like the others have said, you will be on a downer at the moment, but just try to ride it out if the rest of life is positives. Also take advantage of your new single status - there are loads of social events being organised via EF and elsewhere.

Cheers,
Nick

There are a lot of us who have gone through the same and we are all still alive and kicking

I'd say give it a go, you already have a good job here, why not add something good in your CV and a get great life experience since you already made the dramatic change in your life?
Life is funny and love is treacherous you know. I'm a believer in faith. I moved here because I expected a ring on my finger, but now I am single but with a lot more going on in my life than I ever would have if I had not made the move; good job, tons of great new friends, hobbies that keeps me motivated and so on.

You'll get new friends, don't worry about it. EF social events is a great way of getting to know them.

Regarding to meet new girls, my advice is to take your time to breath and pull yourself together. There is enough time to get another woman.
For me it has been a year already (I find it hard to believe), but I sure needed the time. I was like you, full of whys. Why did I make all these sacrifices? When you know the answers of the whys, then you can start to think about the opposite sex.

Look at the bright side - my ex left me AND she took the cat. Sometimes it's hard to keep my feet under me, more often I'm amazed at how lucky I am to be here. As your other advisors have said: chin up, follow your instincts, and if nothing else you'll feel content in the knowledge that you gave it your all.