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  #21  
Old 04.11.2010, 09:52
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Re: women who love too much

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schmunzel ...

sometimes I really wished I was a man and could see the world as uncomplicated as you do ... hugs to you guys!!!

men also wish woman could see the world as uncomplicated as us too

nothing would ever get done then though.
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  #22  
Old 04.11.2010, 11:21
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Re: women who love too much

Just seen on Brit TV, the latest thing. A 'Shrink' party. Get a load of your friends together and also invite a Psychiatrist/Psychologist along and talk through your problems under the guidance of a professional. Interesting new concept but not something I would enter in to. Think most of the time you came have a could 'session' with your own friends naturally at a get together.

As for the advice written here already, agree 100%. Only YOU can change the paths you take in life. Take a good long look at yourself and who you are attracted to and make the changes. Like has been said already, we all have had our hearts broken, chosen unwisely on more than one occasion. I myself went through several years of being with 'the wrong type'. So I took a step back and spent time on my own to sort myself out and work out what I wanted and where I was going wrong. None of us are perfect, we all have our quirky little ways, guys as well as girls.
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  #23  
Old 04.11.2010, 11:58
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Re: women who love too much

Dear Starshine,

I think this is not just a woman's problem and could very well apply to the other sex too.

This is also a an open forum, with many opinions and views. People go through various stages of life, gaining experiences, and opinions/views reflect that.

One can take a horse to the water, but it is the the horse that has to drink.

As food for thought, I can suggest this book: "The Road Less Travelled", written by M. Scott Peck, M.D. A close group of friends for support is also very important.

Regards,
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Old 04.11.2010, 12:05
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Re: women who love too much

Just spotted Ivan the eastern parrot on this very thread.
J_T has captured him (without cheese) and wants to deport him immediately......
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Old 04.11.2010, 12:17
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Re: women who love too much

I think what the book is about has nothing to do with getting your heart broken but rather people that get into destructive relationships. It is an interesting book, but I think these women need more than a friendly person to talk to, some psychological support.
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Old 04.11.2010, 12:17
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Re: women who love too much

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As food for thought, I can suggest this book: "The Road Less Travelled", written by M. Scott Peck, M.D. A close group of friends for support is also very important.

Regards,
I am actually reading this at the moment. Nearly finished and it has indeed given food for thought. It has enabled me to understand some of my behaviour and how this looks and transfers to others. To re-evaluate how I think and why I do things. This book is all about getting you to identify yourself and your own behaviours, it is not one of these books that says 'you should', 'you must'. Not just in relationships with men but with the kids and other difficult relatives. It has also enabled me to understand their behaviour and so I don't need to react to it.
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Old 04.11.2010, 12:26
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Re: women who love too much

Sympathy = you miserate so others can feel better

Commiseration = instead of one wallowing in the bog, others jump in so you can all sink together

...don't think there is that much difference between men and women, other than manner of expression. Depends on where the hooks are, in the head, in the heart, in the wallet, or behind the zipper... and who's pulling the strings.
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Old 04.11.2010, 12:31
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Re: women who love too much

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Hi All

it is recommended to find a support group for women who love too much
I thought i would ask if
anyone out there, male or female, would be interested to get together
and figure out what went wrong, and how to go about being more
positive about relationships and staying away from people who
drain your energy, are dishonest, drink or smoke too much
working on building your self esteem and turning your back on the painful past
In short a support group for people who have been in bad relationships
anyone ?
That looks a kind of easy searching,a kind of social googling for 'that perfect soul-mate' ,a concept of two negatives can make a positive happen.
Believe me friend,it is not as easy as that.

I am 25 and I am still single,ah yes there had been women in my life,infact calling those women-girls would be a better fit for my age,who enjoyed my companionship very much but kept me in dark about the fact that they had no plans for me in future,unless one fine day they stop all communications with me .............well trust me,these women wont be ever able to love too much.They are here and around you for some purpose or the other.They come in as you expect them and they end up expecting on you.

Well this is a problem which applies to both Male and Female.

Love is something that we feel when we are expecting care and concern from a particular person and not only attention.

Even it is my dream to someday finally meet someone who would love me unconditionally..........if not too much.

I wont ever ask for too much Love,it simply sounds possessive and obsessive.
I would rather ask for someone who can stand me as the way I am,forgive my mistakes and misgivings,cure my hatred with love and all that which may sound cute and dramatic,but none the less that is what every Loving heart wants.

So,yes you would find people sharing your pain,all over this earth.But we are only the ones who knows who can be perfect for us.
A gathering of hundreds of kind-hearted women and feeling men may increase the chances of finding the right Soulmate,but you are the only one who can ascertain who is right for you...................and perfect ones are the least available.

Hence,lets drink and dream to the Imperfections of this Earth .
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  #29  
Old 04.11.2010, 12:38
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Re: women who love too much

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Can a woman love too much?

from a man's point of view - No.
Normally, this is classified as stalking isn't it ?
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  #30  
Old 04.11.2010, 12:56
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Re: women who love too much

Hey relax... Clearly the OP has been heartbroken, how about not chewing her up for breakfast?

There is excellent advice here that such a support group would be most productive with the guidance of a professional.

Pitfalls I can see with this:
  • Becoming a moaning and bitching group, increasingly negative moods
  • Resentment when someone out of the group is happy

However, potential for the advantages:
  • People who are not too close to you to call you out on your BS
  • Accountability - similar to above, people to tell you this new relationship is rubbish
  • Coffee (or tea, or vodka)
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  #31  
Old 04.11.2010, 13:02
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Re: women who love too much

After a bad relationship learn from the past - make sure no-one is going to dig up the patio before you've had chance to leave the country...
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Old 04.11.2010, 13:06
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Re: women who love too much

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Normally, this is classified as stalking isn't it ?
Well, you can call it all sorts of things....24/7 service, never off limits, etc.

Back to OP, I agree with somebody who said earlier, just getting together with people, reaching out, starting normal interractions and relating to people would probably sufice for a while, instead of wollowing in labels, guilts, and who did what..Sometimes people just need a break. Even from themselves. People who are hard on themselves, don't forgive themselves anything, will try to analyze the situ, make lists and god knows what, maybe too much, instead of shrugging it off and saying to themselves, next time I won't consent to things that are unacceptable for me. But normal people (not that "looking for some masochistic opportunity" sort of folks) do these kinds of decisions all the time. It's not a science and most of us know how to go through this process, regarding a choice of icecream, stockings or guys. So, just shrug it off to a regular learning curve, move on. And throw an EF event to chitchat and have some fun.
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Old 04.11.2010, 13:08
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Re: women who love too much

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Just spotted Ivan the eastern parrot on this very thread.
J_T has captured him (without cheese) and wants to deport him immediately......
No that's Jolly Joker from Queensland captured by Canon. His job is laughing when tourists get eaten by crocs.
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Old 04.11.2010, 13:40
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Re: women who love too much

He's lovely.
(Perhaps I'm a woman who just loves parrots too much)
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Old 04.11.2010, 14:01
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Re: women who love too much

Alright guys, let's form our own 'support' group.

After we've grumbled about how some women won't let us enjoy some pints in a pub, we can go and find Starshine's group and 'make friends'.

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Old 04.11.2010, 14:08
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Re: women who love too much

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He's lovely.
(Perhaps I'm a woman who just loves parrots too much)
In that case...
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Old 04.11.2010, 14:17
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Re: women who love too much

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Alright guys, let's form our own 'support' group.

After we've grumbled about how some women won't let us enjoy some pints in a pub, we can go and find Starshine's group and 'make friends'.

I was always a big fan of women who loved too much back in my heydey.
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Old 04.11.2010, 14:36
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Re: women who love too much

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Alright guys, let's form our own 'support' group.

After we've grumbled about how some women won't let us enjoy some pints in a pub, we can go and find Starshine's group and 'make friends'.

Sounds like normal life to me, hahaha...Everyone needs somewhere to vent and bitch, everynow and then. If OP wants to call it support group and focus on the healing, labelling, etc, if it helps her, whatever rocks people's boat. I just get suspicious of the whole 12step sounding stuff. People are vulnerable in the situ as OP described, so imagine if there was some weirdo who gets into the group, or some power craving person...I think mingling with normal folks ensures certain level of common sense and touch with reality is good. Hanging just with similar minds and faiths can at the end make one feel pretty...withdrawn from normalcy. I like interest groups, but when it gets to deal with one's heart and emotions, one might find onself too exposed. There is no shame in getting oneself into crap and not knowing what to do with it. We learn, we move on. I think, sometimes people look for a group of others who went through same stuff in order to not feel ashamed, like smokers, alkies, etc..But, really, there is no shame in making mistakes. So what..It will pass. Just forgive yourself. It's cool to learn, more likely from regular folks, not some support group. Classical concerts, activities, hiking etc. might be just the right thing to keep OP's mind occupied while getting stuff digested..Or posting here, whatever helps. So, quit naggin about her poor grammar, hahaha. I find her posts confusing and poetic, I like it. It's different.
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Last edited by MusicChick; 04.11.2010 at 15:10.
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  #39  
Old 04.11.2010, 14:36
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Re: women who love too much

So
farewell then
relationship

I do not
think I can contribute
to this thread
other than to
observe that the
inter
web
is already awash
with "women who love too
much" support groups

and that having read
"about a boy" I will certainly
join the group should it form
Ever.


E.J. Thribb (17½)
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Old 04.11.2010, 15:01
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Re: women who love too much

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men also wish woman could see the world as uncomplicated as us too

nothing would ever get done then though.
i keep telling women to just imagine men to be as complicated as dogs/puppies. ladies, if you ever have the desire to 'play hard to get' (or some other silly woman thing), just imagine that the object of your affection is a puppy and whether or not a) they will fall hopelessly in love with you and lick your face or b) look at you quizzically and wonder why you are being so feckless and cruel.
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