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  #81  
Old 29.07.2011, 14:30
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Re: women who love too much

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Most of this can be summarized thus..

Men don't like needy women.

Women don't like being ignored.

/end thread.
That's certainly a good start anyway.
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  #82  
Old 29.07.2011, 15:14
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Re: women who love too much

Cripes, an old thread being dragged back to the surface. It's like reading your old school books from yesteryear, without the zits.
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  #83  
Old 29.07.2011, 15:17
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Re: women who love too much

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Cripes, an old thread being dragged back to the surface. It's like reading your old school books from yesteryear, without the zits.
Your old school books had zits?
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  #84  
Old 29.07.2011, 15:20
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Re: women who love too much

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I disagree. If you're constantly getting into bad relationships, then you don't deserve better. You are getting exactly what you deserve.

So you don't think I'm just being cocky and flippant: I used to love fey, pale, "interesting" women. They fascinated me - I suppose they awoke some kind of urge to protect or something. But they were bad news. All of them. One after the other.

Now, I could have just blamed them for being mad neurotic bints. Or I could have learnt to recognise that fey, pale, "interesting" women tend to be mad, neurotic bints, and it was my problem, and my problem alone if I insisted on going for them all the time.

Which is what I did. After a heartbreak which nearly sent me to a hole in the ground, I bucked my ideas up, decided that there was more to life than mad, neurotic bints, and taught myself to live.

I didn't need a support group. I didn't need any silly nonsense about "self-esteem". I just took responsibility for my own actions and did something about my silly infatuations.

A support group is likely to end up as nothing more than an "all-men-are-bastards", "dwelling-endlessly-on-the-past" club. If you really want that, then that's fine, but you won't be doing yourself any favours.

Trust me. I've been there.




There are no serious subjects. Life, and love in particular, is fundamentally absurd.

And I wouldn't have it any other way!
This is one for the most sensible things I've read on the forum!
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  #85  
Old 29.07.2011, 15:41
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Re: women who love too much

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Most of this can be summarized thus..

Men don't like needy women.

Women don't like being ignored.

/end thread.
Looks like the fine start of an infinite loop
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  #86  
Old 29.07.2011, 20:52
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Re: women who love too much

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Most of this can be summarized thus..

Men don't like needy women.

Women don't like being ignored.

/end thread.
True that.... but perhaps women become needy because they feel destabilized if ignored ?

A woman who couldn't care less... usually attracts.

My question would be:
Is it the fact that women love too much, and this devotion has not been requested, that makes them miserable ?

Perhaps the deepest most meaningful experience (regardless of gender) is when we meet somebody who lets us love them ?

It's not giving unasked love or receiving an unrequested gift that defines a true love. It is perhaps though.. when the other lets you in ?
true generosity of heart
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  #87  
Old 29.07.2011, 21:39
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Re: women who love too much

Beautiful words, Sky.
I have always refused to take part in the so-called dating game. I believe that when you meet true love you just stop playing games, reading self-help books and you just open your heart and let someone in, and let yourself be vulnerable. If this sometimes means getting hurt, so be it. It enriches you as a human being.
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  #88  
Old 29.07.2011, 21:53
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Re: women who love too much

I think Sky's sentiment is spot on.

It's true that when you meet someone you truly love, there are no more games. On either side, when it's reciprocated.
I have very recently met someone I would never hurt or mess around. Him neither. It is so different.
At the end of the day, we know that passion, physical attraction, intellectual attraction are all parts of the sum total, but real love is when you care. You simply care. Completely.
And the wellbeing of the other comes before yours.

After many months of trial it is a happy enlightenment.
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  #89  
Old 29.07.2011, 22:34
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Re: women who love too much

I suppose each of us must follow our own individual path to emotional maturity to come to that conclusion.
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  #90  
Old 29.07.2011, 22:55
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Re: women who love too much

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I think Sky's sentiment is spot on.

It's true that when you meet someone you truly love, there are no more games. On either side, when it's reciprocated.
I have very recently met someone I would never hurt or mess around. Him neither. It is so different.
At the end of the day, we know that passion, physical attraction, intellectual attraction are all parts of the sum total, but real love is when you care. You simply care. Completely.
And the wellbeing of the other comes before yours.

After many months of trial it is a happy enlightenment.
Happy to hear that Leni, congrats!
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Old 01.01.2012, 21:34
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Re: women who love too much

I am amazed at the replies you have had to your original message,Starshine.What a parade of ignorance and downright nastiness.

The book you refer to is a well-respected analysis of a pattern of behaviour in relationships that is actually quite common and very damaging.You are very brave in trying to confront your own problem and do something about it.

Don't take any notice of some of the stupid replies you've received.Those people are speaking out of ignorance.
There may well be an online support group,since this book is well-known and has been a classic since it first appeared yonks ago. Good luck.
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  #92  
Old 01.01.2012, 22:10
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Re: women who love too much

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I am amazed at the replies you have had to your original message,Starshine.What a parade of ignorance and downright nastiness.

The book you refer to is a well-respected analysis of a pattern of behaviour in relationships that is actually quite common and very damaging.You are very brave in trying to confront your own problem and do something about it.

Don't take any notice of some of the stupid replies you've received.Those people are speaking out of ignorance.
There may well be an online support group,since this book is well-known and has been a classic since it first appeared yonks ago. Good luck.
Catsnax.. there have been many opinions and feelings, not all of them have been negative, why focus on those ?
Retain the positive and leave the rest behind

I maintain my opinions

Last edited by Sky; 01.01.2012 at 22:21.
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  #93  
Old 01.01.2012, 22:14
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Re: women who love too much

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I bucked my ideas up, decided that there was more to life than mad, neurotic bints
Perhaps, but the mad, neurotic bints are so much more FUN!

Tom
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  #94  
Old 01.01.2012, 22:35
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Re: women who love too much

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I am amazed at the replies you have had to your original message,Starshine.What a parade of ignorance and downright nastiness.

The book you refer to is a well-respected analysis of a pattern of behaviour in relationships that is actually quite common and very damaging.You are very brave in trying to confront your own problem and do something about it.

Don't take any notice of some of the stupid replies you've received.Those people are speaking out of ignorance.
There may well be an online support group,since this book is well-known and has been a classic since it first appeared yonks ago. Good luck.
Wow...such passion. Obviously some of these opinions have made you come back from long term lurkerdom, so, first of all, welcome back. We have an intro area where people who haven't introduced usually stop and drop a few lines, to stick to the common netiquette.

Happy new, positive year.

What a peculiar necro post...
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Old 01.01.2012, 22:43
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Re: women who love too much

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Looks like the fine start of an infinite loop
Judging from the replies posted on this thread, it is definitely the start of an infinite loop.
All kidding aside, addiction is a chronic brain disorder and it takes more than a support group to sort something like that out.
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  #96  
Old 01.01.2012, 23:05
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Re: women who love too much

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Judging from the replies posted on this thread, it is definitely the start of an infinite loop.
All kidding aside, addiction is a chronic brain disorder and it takes more than a support group to sort something like that out.
Are you suggesting that:
- love is an addiction
- addiction is a chronic brain disorder
hence, love is a chronic brain disorder ?

sounds about right, helps to be nuts
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  #97  
Old 01.01.2012, 23:12
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Re: women who love too much

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Are you suggesting that:
- love is an addiction
- addiction is a chronic brain disorder
hence, love is a chronic brain disorder ?

sounds about right, helps to be nuts
You never heard of love or sex addicts?
Check this out.
http://www.slaafws.org/
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  #98  
Old 01.01.2012, 23:17
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Re: women who love too much

..... a little extreme don't you think ?
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  #99  
Old 01.01.2012, 23:32
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Re: women who love too much

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..... a little extreme don't you think ?
All addictions cause people to go to extremities.
Love/sex addiction is an addiction just like other addictions.
Scientists have detected the same insular cortex & PFC (pre-frontal cortex) brain activity in love/sex addicts as in drug/alcohol addicts.
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Old 02.01.2012, 00:57
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Re: women who love too much

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All addictions cause people to go to extremities.
Love/sex addiction is an addiction just like other addictions.
Scientists have detected the same insular cortex & PFC (pre-frontal cortex) brain activity in love/sex addicts as in drug/alcohol addicts.
Oh great, now I can explain my addiction to the EF.

Phew, I thought I was just a weirdo.
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