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  #21  
Old 02.06.2016, 19:49
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

I have seen headmasters who protect bad teachers and that makes the good ones change to another school, because they can't take it anymore. It is depressing to have colleagues who work havoc with their classes.

I have seen the Schulpflege supporting bad teachers with all kinds of trainings, to no avail. But they are still teaching and making their classes - and the parents - miserable.

Stand up for yourself and your children. It is worth it. Kindergarten is supposed to be accommodating to all children - regardless of their background. If a teacher can't do that, she/he shouldn't be working.

Ask for a change. Even if it takes your child away from his best friends. Frequent playdates can make up for that. Don't put him in the care of such a dragon. It will most likely spoil his whole school experience. Bad beginnings very often take a toll.

I know it is hard. Wish you all the best.

I'm a Kindergarten teacher too, work at a clinic school right now where I see quite a lot of children who suffered badly because they have not had adequate schooling, were not seen as lovely but challenged children but as troublemakers.

It is hard work to make them believe that they are not bad children with no talents.It is hard work to make them believe they can do well and school can be fun and interresting.

Wish you all the best!
Marischi
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  #22  
Old 02.06.2016, 20:19
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

One thing teachers (and headmasters) have to deal with now, more than ever before, is the possibility of their inadequacies reaching social media and, ultimately, the media itself. It is important to mention, however, that we've only heard one side of the story.

Regardless, there's obviously a problem. Keep searching for solutions, OP. Try as many channels as you can until you are satisfied with the results.

Good luck.
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  #23  
Old 02.06.2016, 20:41
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

First of all, thank you for all the comments and suggestions. I'd forgotten how helpful this place could be (I had to leave as I was being stalked by real life people!)

In all fairness, once I'd made my concerns known to the School Psychology/Psychiatrist services things moved pretty quickly and the extra help for my son was arranged in a couple of weeks.

The teacher also called me after the sticker incident to say she was "sehr bestürzt" that I would think that she would ever deliberately treat a child in that way. I told her that it was exactly how it appeared to us! Funnily enough, the following week, the activities were changed and a blank sheet appeared to all children on the wall. In the first two days he had more stickers than he had in the previous half (?) term. Two weeks later his TA started. The teacher is a dinosaur, has been teaching at this school since 1980. She has the reputation of being the worst teacher in the school. The one he was supposed to go to in 1/2, the best!

We were told his class feeds into a 1/2 class and the other KG class into the other 1/2 class. So...we requested when we sent the forms in for my daughter that they be kept in different streams so that they can't meet in the 1/2 class (thus putting her in the good KG class with her friends. BUT they then said that they will switch my son into the other 1/2 class as the teacher cannot deal with another problem child in her class. We contested as the reason we were given was that it would be too stressful for the other children in the class to have a TA present so often (another child in the 2nd year has a TA). Then had a meeting with head, psychologist and two teachers where we basically had to agree to switch him - the teacher of his supposed class said that she would have no time for him whereas the other teacher has a wonderfully quiet class so would be able to keep a closer eye on him and devote more 1:1 time to him. Leaving us no choice but to agree. This is why my daughter is now in the bad KG.

Selling up and moving is not really an option, we moved here just two years ago. From what I have heard from parents whose children are in Psychomotorik therapy with my son, things are not so different in the neighbouring Gemeindes and it is down to luck of teacher.

I trust the TA, mainly from the way she was rolling her eyes and then joined in to support me whilst the teacher was trying to explain why it was a good idea to isolate my son from a class activity. I'm not quite sure of her status though, her hours have to be approved by the inspectorate, but I assume her employer is technically the school.

Rufus - he has a GEF Pool 2 request from the Ed Psychologist, supported by the Ed Psychiatrist. An IEP as such has not been suggested beyond a meeting between the 1/2 teacher, TA and me before the new school year. I can't find anything about policies beyond use of scooters and mobile phones on their website. The staff list is headmaster, then a teacher per class, one for music art and computing, plus one with this title 'Heilpädagogin integrative Förderung' and the Schulhauswart.

NotAllThere - the other mother who witnessed it didn't see it as a problem as it wasn't meant in a nasty way, you see all the children were smiling. I live in far too small a town it would seem. And we thought we were doing the best for the children to move here.
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  #24  
Old 02.06.2016, 20:50
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

I'd keep a close eye anyway. Get it in writing, and make them aware you're keeping a careful watch.


Dinosaur or not, she has no business "teaching" this way.


I wish you luck. I hope it gets better. Sometimes smaller places are not better places, I guess.
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  #25  
Old 02.06.2016, 23:56
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

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In all fairness, once I'd made my concerns known to the School Psychology/Psychiatrist services things moved pretty quickly and the extra help for my son was arranged in a couple of weeks.....
Funnily enough, the following week, the activities were changed .....
Two weeks later his TA started.....
Then had a meeting with head, psychologist and two teachers where we basically had to agree to switch him......
Do I understand this correctly: When you asked us yesterday, this was all already sorted?

Last edited by 3Wishes; 03.06.2016 at 15:34. Reason: changed name in quoted text
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  #26  
Old 03.06.2016, 06:18
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

Yes, was that not clear? I was willing to leave it be, but that was before my daughter was allocated the same teacher. I want to ensure that she will not be treated in the same way that my son was.
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Old 03.06.2016, 07:22
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

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NotAllThere - the other mother who witnessed it didn't see it as a problem as it wasn't meant in a nasty way, you see all the children were smiling. I live in far too small a town it would seem. And we thought we were doing the best for the children to move here.
Smaller communities have their advantages as well as disadvantages. Maybe the advantages will become visible soon. I'm still shocked about the slitty eyes though!

I do know that in my kids' schools, there were always one or two pupils who came quite a distance - because of issues within their local school. Probably not at kindergarten level though.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 03.06.2016 at 15:34. Reason: changed name in quoted text
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Old 03.06.2016, 11:19
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

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Yes, was that not clear? I was willing to leave it be, but that was before my daughter was allocated the same teacher. I want to ensure that she will not be treated in the same way that my son was.


No, it wasn't clear. You were willing to leave it? As both a teacher and a mother I am amazed, to be honest.


What about the next child this happens to? I doubt your son was the first. The behaviour you described smacks of a pattern.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 03.06.2016 at 15:34. Reason: changed name in quoted text
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Old 03.06.2016, 12:11
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

The slitty eye is a strong indictor of the level of ignorance - though perhaps only of that particular teacher.

I also entered the school system in kindergarten with an English speaking son and had issues with one of his teachers. Ultimately, we just muddled through and he is now in third grade with a wonderful teacher who is really supportive and helpful.

Trying to resolve the issues with the kindergarten teacher, I found the gap was just too wide so we found him other means of support outside of school and did our best to integrate him through activities and playdates with other kids.

I spent a few months trying to convince his kindergarten teacher that 'Red Indian' was considered a derisive term in English. She just didn't get it and this term is still used in the school today.

Pick your battles thoughtfully and stay calm as much as you can. Hard I know when you see your child injuring himself so as not to go to school.

Good luck with your daughter next year!
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Old 03.06.2016, 12:34
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

sorry about the confusion.

All this things are things that have happened to my son over the past year. After finding out about it, I made an appointment direct with the teacher. This was recommended by other mums I know, that I shouldn't go directly to the head and should have a meeting with the teacher first so that no bad feeling is created. As soon as we had this meeting, she clearly realised she couldn't go on as it was and the situation for my son has improved. (I did also ask the psychologist for advice and this is when the extra help was put in place.)

We felt that if we complained further and didn't give her another chance then the only logical step was to ask for my son to be transferred into the parallel class. However, we didn't feel we could do this as it would be 6 months benefit for my son and 2 years for the detriment of my daughter. How could I choose between the two? We decided to leave things as they were as now my son is 'protected' by the TA and socially it would be hard for him to move class and he is well integrated in the class where he is.

Now, my daughter must go into her class anyway. I want to ensure that these things cannot happen to my daughter. Hence the dilemma of do I wait and see how things go and risk the same happening again or do I request a meeting before she starts to put across the requests in my first post.
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Old 03.06.2016, 12:49
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

It might be preferable to wait and see how things go. Really, it depends a lot on your current relationship with the KG teacher. Is it polite and amicable? Is it nervous and adversarial? Will your concerns be helped by something specific she can do differently? Some things you don't like may be hard to change (her demeanor, her attitude to teaching and learning), and others will be eased with a conversation (how to respond if your daughter doesn't understand the instructions, etc.).

It could help to speak with her before your daughter begins in August if your relationship with her is good enough to sincerely listen and talk with one another. If not, I would follow your husband's advice and keep a close eye when the school year starts.
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  #32  
Old 03.06.2016, 13:33
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

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Now, my daughter must go into her class anyway. I want to ensure that these things cannot happen to my daughter. Hence the dilemma of do I wait and see how things go and risk the same happening again or do I request a meeting before she starts to put across the requests in my first post.
You've mentioned the situation with your son has improved after previous discussions with the teacher. The KG teacher is acutely aware of your daughter's background and may use a different approach from the start. I'd wait and see.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 03.06.2016 at 15:35. Reason: changed name in quoted text
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  #33  
Old 03.06.2016, 14:10
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

I wouldn't wait, but then I'm mostly terrier: I suspect you will wait.


You mentioned you visited this class before - arrange another visit very soon after the start of the new term. Make your requests then - challenge anything that disturbs you. Have your requests also in writing - a second copy ready to give to the head teacher and don't worry about "hurting the feelings" of an inadequate teacher.


However, all of this is probably redundant, because I've encountered these types of people many, many times - both kids and adults - and she will have her new target all picked out and ready. It will be the newest child. Or the most "different", however she defines difference, or the one who makes her work the hardest. You challenged her before and she'll probably give you and yours a wide berth.


I still don't understand why your daughter has to go in this woman's class. Mind you, I don't understand why this woman still has a class.
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  #34  
Old 03.06.2016, 15:26
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

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Do I understand this correctly: When you asked us yesterday, this was all already sorted?
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Yes, was that not clear? I was willing to leave it be, but that was before my daughter was allocated the same teacher. I want to ensure that she will not be treated in the same way that my son was.
It was perfectly clear to me although I'll admit I did read it a couple of times to make sure I'd understood everything properly.

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sorry about the confusion.

All this things are things that have happened to my son over the past year. After finding out about it, I made an appointment direct with the teacher. This was recommended by other mums I know, that I shouldn't go directly to the head and should have a meeting with the teacher first so that no bad feeling is created. As soon as we had this meeting, she clearly realised she couldn't go on as it was and the situation for my son has improved. (I did also ask the psychologist for advice and this is when the extra help was put in place.)

We felt that if we complained further and didn't give her another chance then the only logical step was to ask for my son to be transferred into the parallel class. However, we didn't feel we could do this as it would be 6 months benefit for my son and 2 years for the detriment of my daughter. How could I choose between the two? We decided to leave things as they were as now my son is 'protected' by the TA and socially it would be hard for him to move class and he is well integrated in the class where he is.

Now, my daughter must go into her class anyway. I want to ensure that these things cannot happen to my daughter. Hence the dilemma of do I wait and see how things go and risk the same happening again or do I request a meeting before she starts to put across the requests in my first post.
I'm in the request a meeting beforehand and get things clear from the outset.
I'd probably even try to get your daughter put in the parallel class even if it did mean she'd meet with your son further along the track. Irrespective of what's gone on with your son already she sounds like a terrible teacher all round and in your shoes I'd be much happier if my child was being taught by another teacher.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 03.06.2016 at 15:35. Reason: changed name in quoted text
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  #35  
Old 04.06.2016, 05:30
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

I think this situation has escalated way too much. From the moment your son hurt himself you should have taken drastic action. He is under a lot of stress, his perception of school and learning is being scarred for life. Intentionally hurting himself to avoid school is an absolute RED FLAG. I understand a kid faking a tummy ache but an actual self inflicted injury is too much.

Their is nothing to talk with this woman, remove your child from that classroom and make a formal written complaint against this "teacher", backed if possible with the evaluation of a child psychologist and direct it to the board of directors of the school. Also request emphatically immediate relocation to another classroom.

By no means enroll your daughter to the same classroom.

You have to keep in mind that YOU are your children's advocate, if you don't stand firmly and strongly for them, no one else will. No need to get into a verbal confrontation with anyone or to be put in a situation in which your word gets diminished. You don't need to hear the teacher's side of anything, you stand on next to your children and make sure they are being treated respectfully and fairly.
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  #36  
Old 04.06.2016, 08:10
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

Under Swiss law your child has a right to be educated. Nothing should be permitted to frustrate that.
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Old 04.06.2016, 08:14
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

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I think this situation has escalated way too much. From the moment your son hurt himself you should have taken drastic action. He is under a lot of stress, his perception of school and learning is being scarred for life. Intentionally hurting himself to avoid school is an absolute RED FLAG. I understand a kid faking a tummy ache but an actual self inflicted injury is too much.

Their is nothing to talk with this woman, remove your child from that classroom and make a formal written complaint against this "teacher", backed if possible with the evaluation of a child psychologist and direct it to the board of directors of the school. Also request emphatically immediate relocation to another classroom.

By no means enroll your daughter to the same classroom.

You have to keep in mind that YOU are your children's advocate, if you don't stand firmly and strongly for them, no one else will. No need to get into a verbal confrontation with anyone or to be put in a situation in which your word gets diminished. You don't need to hear the teacher's side of anything, you stand on next to your children and make sure they are being treated respectfully and fairly.
Be careful about getting a (school) psychologist, if you really need one get an external professional. Check out this thread, I have heard too many bad stories about school psychologists in CH: School psychologist
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Old 04.06.2016, 20:27
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

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Be careful about getting a (school) psychologist, if you really need one get an external professional. Check out this thread, I have heard too many bad stories about school psychologists in CH: School psychologist
It's a bit late for that! We originally went through the paediatrician. We went to an assessment where the psychologist said "I can't speak English, I'm not comfortable speaking French so I'll conduct the tests in German." Even though I pointed out it was very much his third language and we didn't know how much he understood. She maintained it wouldn't matter. The paediatrician advised us to ignore the results! Once he had started KG, we went again. This time to a dr in Bern who speaks English. He however advised that they can only request extra help in school from the school psychologist by way of making a report. That it would be a faster route if we went direct to the ed psychologist as if she decided he needs help, then the school have to provide it. So we did that. She has been very good, highly recommended by an aquaintance who is an ed. psychologist and has already 'taken our side' as it were in a few discussions with the school.
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Old 20.06.2016, 09:34
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

Going in today to speak to the head and KG teacher.
Also to sign my son's report card, which I have been told she will not email to me in advance, I am invited to go and read it and sign it on the spot. I am not allowed to change it but may make amendments. My husband will not be there as I have to go at 2pm. Is this standard practice that my husband effectively isn't allowed to see it also? As I understand it, this report will follow him through school. I'm a bit concerned I won't pick up any nuances of language. Am I within my rights to take a picture of it to send to my husband?

Why can they not provide a copy of the school report to the parents? Is this normal?
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Old 20.06.2016, 09:42
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Re: Speak to KG teacher or see what happens? (long)

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Going in today to speak to the head and KG teacher.
Also to sign my son's report card, which I have been told she will not email to me in advance, I am invited to go and read it and sign it on the spot. I am not allowed to change it but may make amendments. My husband will not be there as I have to go at 2pm. Is this standard practice that my husband effectively isn't allowed to see it also? As I understand it, this report will follow him through school. I'm a bit concerned I won't pick up any nuances of language. Am I within my rights to take a picture of it to send to my husband?

Why can they not provide a copy of the school report to the parents? Is this normal?
That's not normal at all. We have always been given the school report to read at home, sign and return it to the school. We have never been asked to read it and sign it on the spot.
If you have any doubts at all about it then refuse to sign it and ask to have a copy for your husband to read before signing,
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