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Old 09.06.2017, 07:59
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Violence in 1st class [school]

Dear all,

I am looking for advice as to how a parent can request the removal of a violent kid from a class (daughter's class; 1st class/year; local Swiss school; Basel Stadt).

Teachers have been trying to correct the behavior of this boy for the entire year, and failed. My daughter is bullied. Latest attack involved a neck-grip / lock with the sentence "I will kill you".

Lost count of how many times we have complained to teachers and principal. They punish the boy (time-outs, etc) but obviously they are failing.

At this point, I have run out of patience. There must be a legal way of removing the kid from the class. I am posting here for guidance on such legal approach.

Thank you in advance.
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Old 09.06.2017, 08:22
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Re: Violence in 1st class

It's not for you to decide, it's for the director of the school, all you can do is provide testamony and prove of violent behaviour.

Talk to his parents maybe would be a good starting point
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Old 09.06.2017, 08:36
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Re: Violence in 1st class

Thanks. I understand it is not for me to decide.
As I said, teachers and school director are trying hard. But failing.
We have started another round of complaints now. I do not expect a different outcome.
I would like information as to my options as a parent. Specifically, what can I do if I disagree with the school director decision. Where could I go next?

We know that other kids have been removed from this school for violent behavior in the recent past. I would like to bring that option to the table. Any advice on how to best approach this scenario.

Also, what is there to discuss parent to parent? I am sure that the other parents are well aware of the problem. The kid in question has repeated first grade already. Long history of violence to my girl and other children.

Thank you again.
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Old 09.06.2017, 08:47
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Re: Violence in 1st class

We had a problem with a violent kid in my son's primary school class when he was about 9. We complained several times to the school but as the aggression occurred usually during break time the school denied all responsibility. When my son came home with a cracked tooth we contacted the other boy's parents and the police and make a complaint.

We eventually invited the parents with their aggressive child over and we all sat around the table and asked the boys to explain themselves.

It finished with them both shaking hands and the problem was over. We dropped the complaint with the police.

If you aren't able to find a solution like this, contact your legal insurance or ask a lawyer for advice.
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:16
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Re: Violence in 1st class

Have you already spoke to the violent childs' parents ?

DIALOGUE is your best friend, speak to the parents of the child first, direct confrontation won't go too far.

If you can't get through to the parents, then escalate to the director saying, if we have no solutiuon, i will make a complaint and file at the local police station for harassement/violent behavior.
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:26
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Re: Violence in 1st class

If a child puts their hands on another in violence then a "time out" is not the appropriate sanction.

Have you put it in writing too?

Ask to see the documented school's behaviour and child protection policies. And, as has been suggested, if you get nowhere fast, tell the school you will go to the police with names and dates. Include the names and dates of any adult in the position of responsibility -duty of care/ in loco parentis, that should be the class teacher, the principal and any designated child protection officer - who didn't act to safeguard all the children in their care.

At the risk of being devil's advocate -y, the violent kid sounds like he needs some kind of social intervention too.

Good luck. I hope it is resolved very soon. Your poor girl. Tell her to hold her head up and try to be brave for a little longer.
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:27
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Re: Violence in 1st class

Swiss teachers are generally reluctant to control the bully: they somehow look upon this as charachter building for the victims: the victims should stand up to the bully.

Schools are incredibly reluctant to take strong measures. I think a complaint to the police might make them change their minds, and force them to actually do something. The bully probably has a violent family, and needs to visit the child psychiatrist.

Alternatively visit the Canton ministry for education, and complain to them, but I think the police will bring a faster result.
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:32
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Re: Violence in 1st class

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Swiss teachers are generally reluctant to control the bully: they somehow look upon this as charachter building for the victims: they should stand up to the bully.

Schools are incredibly reluctant to take strong measures. I think a complaint to the police might make them change their minds, and force them to actually do something.

Alternatively visit the Canton ministry for education, and complain to them.
That is outrageous. Why isn't it zero tolerance? It's assault, plain and simple and should be treated as such by all concerned.

OP, definitely do as Sbrinz suggests. Take It further.

Bit extreme, but tell the school you want to observe your daughter's class. Sounds like you need to scare the school leaders. They should be sanctioned too, it's disgusting.
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:34
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Re: Violence in 1st class

Thought this was going to be about millionaire air-rage. So disappointed .
Carry on.
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:35
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Re: Violence in 1st class

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Thanks. I understand it is not for me to decide.
As I said, teachers and school director are trying hard. But failing.
We have started another round of complaints now. I do not expect a different outcome.
I would like information as to my options as a parent. Specifically, what can I do if I disagree with the school director decision. Where could I go next?

We know that other kids have been removed from this school for violent behavior in the recent past. I would like to bring that option to the table. Any advice on how to best approach this scenario.

Also, what is there to discuss parent to parent? I am sure that the other parents are well aware of the problem. The kid in question has repeated first grade already. Long history of violence to my girl and other children.

Thank you again.
We had this issue with my son fighting, as it turns out he was being bullied and being independent did not seek help. As it turned out a few kids would get together and tease him until he snapped, or sit next to him and bump him and then scream in pain that XXXX hit them. From this he got a bad reputation and the blame for everything. He has an excellent teacher which we sat with and agreed on a program where he would need to stay back after class and get a stamp if he did not over react. From this the teacher had a greater understanding of what was going on and pulled the rest of the kids into line.

I am not saying this is the same for your daughter but there were more girls involved in this than boys.

If the school is not in constant contact with the parents and have a program in place then I would notify the school that you are going to the Police. Whilst it is your daughter being effected we all as a community have a duty to help this child with his problems. Having the Police involved might be enough to get a message through to him and get the school assistance it needs to stop this.
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:37
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Re: Violence in 1st class

I read the thread title and was expecting a story about violence on trains.

Hope you get it sorted either way... speak to the parents!
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:40
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Re: Violence in 1st class

Bullying here is not discussed or handled well. The first we heard about it was when he bit a girl (and he was never a biter) and her parents wanted to involve the Police.

When asked why " You don't hit girls" which is kind of a positive in a bad situation!
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:48
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Re: Violence in 1st class

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Thought this was going to be about millionaire air-rage. So disappointed .
Carry on.
I think you'll be safe when you fly off to New Zealand....
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:57
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Re: Violence in 1st class

Parents are not at school, "talking" to somebody who will probably just show a middle finger to the complainers will do nothing. Just inform the teacher that you are in the process of having your child legally protected, send it registered with a copy to the dean, director and a dept of schooling at your commune. In this letter and in a very dry way, list the ocassions on which you tried to fix the situation with the teacher. See if those who consider bullied kids as the weak part of the edu system move their butts.
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Old 09.06.2017, 09:57
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Re: Violence in 1st class

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I think you'll be safe when you fly off to New Zealand....
But what about the other passengers
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Old 09.06.2017, 10:10
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Re: Violence in 1st class

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But what about the other passengers
Sod 'em. They're screwed.
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Old 09.06.2017, 10:11
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Re: Violence in 1st class

Hi, a couple of years back our teenage child was experiencing bullying in different degrees, he kept it from us and we only became aware quite a while down the line when his demeanor at home began to change and his grades started to drop. The psychological repercussions are violent and can scar one for a lifetime.


We approached the school and kicked up hell after our child had informed us that on several occasions a teacher was present, and only requested that they stop with no punishment handed out. I arrived fully armed and ready to malky any teacher in sight. Appart from of course blaming the bully, we made it clear that we held the school fully responsible and would take severe action with them if they did not take immediate action about the situation. The boy and his parents were called in for a meeting and it was agreed to have him followed by an external school mediator/psychologist twice a week during school time. The bullying stopped but my child never recovered, his grades remained down and his behaviour remained low, we eventually had to remove him and place him in another school, the damage was already too far engrained for him to continue there.
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Old 09.06.2017, 10:19
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Re: Violence in 1st class

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Hi, a couple of years back our teenage child was experiencing bullying in different degrees, he kept it from us and we only became aware quite a while down the line when his demeanor at home began to change and his grades started to drop. The psychological repercussions are violent and can scar one for a lifetime.


We approached the school and kicked up hell after our child had informed us that on several occasions a teacher was present, and only requested that they stop with no punishment handed out. I arrived fully armed and ready to malky any teacher in sight. Appart from of course blaming the bully, we made it clear that we held the school fully responsible and would take severe action with them if they did not take immediate action about the situation. The boy and his parents were called in for a meeting and it was agreed to have him followed by an external school mediator/psychologist twice a week during school time. The bullying stopped but my child never recovered, his grades remained down and his behaviour remained low, we eventually had to remove him and place him in another school, the damage was already too far engrained for him to continue there.
That is very sad to read, and I hope he improves. I think the key with bullying is to drill it into your kid to tell you about bullying the moment that they realise it starts. Many kids are embarrased or even ashamed to talk about it, and that should absolutely never be the case. They need to know even before it happens that it isn't their fault and that the kids who do it are the ones with issues. Sadly, talks about bullying only ever seem to happen after the fact, instead of preparing kids beforehand that it may happen to them and how they should behave if/when it does.
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Old 09.06.2017, 11:34
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Re: Violence in 1st class

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That is very sad to read, and I hope he improves. .
Two and a half years on and things are much better thank you, it was a traumatic period in our lives during which time we turned for help with a psychiatrist, we tried on our own but felt we were not getting through, that we were failing him.


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I think the key with bullying is to drill it into your kid to tell you about bullying the moment that they realise it starts...Sadly, talks about bullying only ever seem to happen after the fact, instead of preparing kids beforehand that it may happen to them and how they should behave if/when it does.

I would go further and say that this is a topic that needs to be presented and spoken about openly to all students at the beginning of every year and express the consequences to anyone found to be bullying. Furthermore, an open letter to all parents on this subject should also be made available.


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Many kids are embarrased or even ashamed to talk about it, and that should absolutely never be the case.
That is what happened in our child's case, that is also why it took us so long to realise something was wrong. And as expressed before, our child never recovered from these events because, and as an already shy person, they then had to contend with the embarrassment of having mum and dad turn up at the school and the fact that this bully was now having to follow with a mediator...all because he "couldn't take a wee joke" as many classmates kept saying.
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Old 09.06.2017, 13:54
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Re: Violence in 1st class

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How old are these kids ? I suppose OP has determined this is serious stuff, but I think the behavior described is fairly common among kids playing between themselves, and there is always a bully who takes things further.
I like the idea of talking to the child's parents, although that's for someone who can keep their cool. I would also start by teaching your kid to stand up to this crap. Even if it's a girl (and especially I would say) I would teach her to fight back, that starts with learning to kick hard in the balls and not miss ! Bullies and bad people are a fact of life, won't be the last time she'll meet one. You can also talk to the bully, tell him he doesn't realize bullying is wrong, that he makes his victims miserable, and that every time that happens, you'll complain straight to his parents and even the police, and who knows maybe the police will put him away in a correctional facility lol.

Bullying is unacceptable and highly damaging. Sweeping it away as a "fact of life" is neither helpful nor appropriate.


The school should have dealt with it immediately. End of.


I'm not sure how many kids you've been around but there's a world of difference between roughhousing and what the OP describes.

Last edited by RufusB; 09.06.2017 at 14:23.
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