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Old 13.09.2021, 23:37
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Autism and our UK solution

I have twin boys, born here 18 years ago who have ADHD and high functioning autism. Without going into the details, they were both in special schools, each were costing the Gemeinde and Kanton CHF 140k per year per child (2012) and it didn't work. We offered a solution in a neighbouring kanton for CHF60K, ie they could save CHF80K and the kanton wasn't interested. Many discussions with the Kanton and they knew best and wanted to take the kids off of us. They came with solutions and tried to sell them to us, they simply didn't know our kids. With the threat of having the kids taken off of us, the kanton said that they were acting in the kid's best interest, reluctantly my partner and the kids went back to the UK.

I have been living here alone and its been a very bumpy ride. One son did ok, (the one we really had a problem here with, did better in the UK). The other one who was happy here, had a rocky road back in the UK, he had one to one schooling and periods where he was just at home.

Fast forward nine years to 2021, all kids are doing well, the one that they couldn't teach here has just started university in London, the other one is at a college doing aeronautical engineering.

Without blaming anyone the Swiss school system didn't work for us, despite trying our best for it to work. The best thing we did was to get the children out of here.

If anyone is in a similar position, go with your gut feeling. One thing we have noticed is that the range of subjects in the UK and expectations are way higher than here.

Now I have to see how I get the kids (now adults) back here (after brexit) and their studies.

Somewhere on here are my posts of despair from 8-9 years ago, (just found one from 2012 (https://www.englishforum.ch/family-m...lds-needs.html )

I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism last year, however this week I am the happiest man in the world. This is our story, PM me if you want more details.

Last edited by telandy; 14.09.2021 at 01:08.
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Old 14.09.2021, 01:11
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Re: Ausism and our UK solution

Telandy, I am so happy for you and your family.

Reading your story in the linked thread, I am shocked at what you had to go through. Hat's off to you and your wife for standing firm for your children's sake.

Wishing you all continued success and happiness.
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Old 14.09.2021, 12:31
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Re: Ausism and our UK solution

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Telandy, I am so happy for you and your family.

Reading your story in the linked thread, I am shocked at what you had to go through. Hat's off to you and your wife for standing firm for your children's sake.

Wishing you all continued success and happiness.
Thank you meloncollie - At some points in the last few years the outcome was not certain, I won't mention that one child got arrested at school for fleeing a teacher and climbing onto a school roof and then put into a cell for four hours.


One of the difficulties is that we had twins with autism. I remember some early meetings the school would talk about twin one, when it was clear to us it was twin 2 and vice versa. We also had the twin dynamics going on and later separation dynamics. I am sure there will be more bumps along the way but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Old 14.09.2021, 16:25
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

I'm glad you managed to do this. I know another case where the child was effectively given up on and is now likely to be on social help for the rest of his life because he didn't get the right support early on.

out of interest, what kind of programme did your kids get in the UK and what was it that helped them?
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Old 14.09.2021, 16:51
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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I'm glad you managed to do this. I know another case where the child was effectively given up on and is now likely to be on social help for the rest of his life because he didn't get the right support early on.

out of interest, what kind of programme did your kids get in the UK and what was it that helped them?

In the UK there are a lot more children, it is more inclusion rather than exclusion. What we did have with us going back were statements of special educational needs, which helped us. The kids were put into a village school, one kid faired better than the other. The kid who was struggling was statemented and put into a mainstream school that had a unit attached so the kids could be taken out of the main classes for specific needs. this was great until the kids have to move school due to their age. One kid stayed in mainstream and the other went to a special school.That didn't work, doors were key locked, one teacher was smoking and this set kid 2 off. He managed to escape out of the school and climb a drainpipe and get up onto the school roof. The police were called and a tile fell from the roof and the police arrested him and tried to do him for criminal damage. The stupid situation between a special school and the amount of control he had. He never went back and all charges were dropped, after four hours in a cell. They wanted us to sign a waiver but we refused - No long term damage done. he then had no school to go too and the county schooling team have no answers. He was at home for 6 - 9 months with no sulution. We were banging oonto the schooling team that his mentla health was sufferring and they weren't meeting his needs. At the end of the day they push kids with round pins into square pigeon holes. The saving grace was a one to one tuition with a guy he met three times a week at a golf course. He learnt to play golf inbetween sessions, that was his PE abnd helped keep him focussed. The guy got him through his Maths and English GCSEs, he did a few other subjects but then we had a platform to move forward.

Last edited by telandy; 14.09.2021 at 18:26.
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Old 14.09.2021, 17:03
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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Now I have to see how I get the kids (now adults) back here (after brexit) and their studies.
Very glad they did well in the U.K.

Confused as to why they’d want to come back to Switzerland after uni? If they’ve done so well in the U.K. why would they want to come back here and possibly struggle in the work environment?
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Old 14.09.2021, 17:26
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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In the UK there are a lot more children, it is more inclusion rather than exclusion. What we did have with us going back were statements of special educational needs, which helped us. The kids were put into a village school, one kid faired better than the other. The kid who was struggling was statemented and put into a mainstream school that had a unit attached so the kids could be taken out of the main classes for specific needs. this is great until the kids have to move school due to their age. One kid stayed in mainstream and the other went to a special school.That didn't work, doors were key locked, one teacher was smoking and this set kid 2 off. He managed to escape out of the school and climb a drainpipe and get up onto the school roof. The police were called and a tile fell from the roof and the police arrested him and tried to do him for criminal damage. The stupid situation between a special school and the amount of control he had. He never went back and all charges were dropped, after four hours in a cell. They wanted us to sign a waiver but we refused - No long term damage done. he then had no school to go too and the county schooling team have no answers. He was at home for 6 - 9 months with no sulution. We were banging oonto the schooling team that his mentla health was sufferring and they weren't meeting his needs. At the end of the day they push kids with round pins into square pigeon holes. The saving grace was a one to one tuition with a guy he met three times a week at a golf course. He learnt to play golf inbetween sessions, that was his PE abnd helped keep him focussed. The guy got him through his Maths and English GCSEs, he did a few other subjects but then we had a platform to move forward.

the case in CH i'm aware of basically ended up without school and no apprenticeship either so now his future is looking bleak.
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Old 14.09.2021, 18:16
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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Very glad they did well in the U.K.

Confused as to why they’d want to come back to Switzerland after uni? If they’ve done so well in the U.K. why would they want to come back here and possibly struggle in the work environment?
They prefer to be here, were born here. I have three children, one possibly two will come back. I have stayed here to leave the door open for them, now with Brexit it is half closed.
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Old 14.09.2021, 18:19
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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the case in CH i'm aware of basically ended up without school and no apprenticeship either so now his future is looking bleak.
No one wants to pick up the pieces, May be that child just needs one chance and if that’s isn’t available then that’s sad. Doesn’t the social system have a solution?
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Old 14.09.2021, 19:16
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

I am so glad that things workout for you - I remember reading your thread a long way back as my nephew suffers from autism so I understand how challenging it can be.
Interestingly, the reason we moved back to the UK was because my son was suffering with dyspraxia which affected his speech badly, at the time he was not able to get the help he needed.
Good luck with your future plans
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Old 14.09.2021, 19:23
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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The saving grace was a one to one tuition with a guy he met three times a week at a golf course. He learnt to play golf inbetween sessions, that was his PE abnd helped keep him focussed. The guy got him through his Maths and English GCSEs, he did a few other subjects but then we had a platform to move forward.

I hope I am ok to ask a bit more about this, as I am not sure I have understood it. Did you organise a tutor for those subjects who just happened to also play golf, or did your son happen to meet someone randomly on a golf course who is also a tutor of those subjects please?
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Old 14.09.2021, 21:25
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

Oh, telandy, wow, I'm sorry you and family have had to go through all that. Well done to you and your partner for having worked hard to find solutions for both twins. Admirable, really admirable!
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Old 14.09.2021, 22:29
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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I hope I am ok to ask a bit more about this, as I am not sure I have understood it. Did you organise a tutor for those subjects who just happened to also play golf, or did your son happen to meet someone randomly on a golf course who is also a tutor of those subjects please?
The county organised and paid for the tutor. He used golf as a reward for doing well in lessons, and also when there were bad behavioural days. The county gave the tutor a carte blanche to get the Maximum out of the child he could. The Tutor fed back progress reports. There was thinking and planning behind it. A golf course wasn’t seen as a classroom, I am not sure where they worked, but the aim was to give the child enough qualifications to move forward. I should also add that this child has poor writing. In International school where he started he could write in joined up writing. However when he went to Swiss school they said the writing was wrong and he never wrote again. He can type and dictate in English.
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Old 15.09.2021, 15:49
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

I have recently heard of people with children with disabilities such as autism leaving Switzerland.

One reason was because the Swiss school system is not very supportive especially the teachers. Very little compassion, understanding and patience.

Secondly, that there a great deal of mobbing.
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Old 15.09.2021, 15:58
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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The county organised and paid for the tutor. He used golf as a reward for doing well in lessons, and also when there were bad behavioural days. The county gave the tutor a carte blanche to get the Maximum out of the child he could. The Tutor fed back progress reports. There was thinking and planning behind it. A golf course wasn’t seen as a classroom, I am not sure where they worked, but the aim was to give the child enough qualifications to move forward. I should also add that this child has poor writing. In International school where he started he could write in joined up writing. However when he went to Swiss school they said the writing was wrong and he never wrote again. He can type and dictate in English.

That's really wonderful, and how marvellous that he learnt a relaxing skill such a golf, as he built a relationship with this tutor. What an astute tutor, taking care of school skills and life skills.
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Old 16.09.2021, 13:24
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Re: Autism and our UK solution

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I have recently heard of people with children with disabilities such as autism leaving Switzerland.

One reason was because the Swiss school system is not very supportive especially the teachers. Very little compassion, understanding and patience.

Secondly, that there a great deal of mobbing.
That is a pretty tough accusation. Do you have anything i.e. studies, stats etc to back up these claims? I personally find the Swiss school system very supportive.

There might be some cases, like OP's, and that is unfortunate but I don't know if it's OK to spread this characterisation.
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