Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Education  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 14.09.2021, 12:56
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Trub
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 6 Posts
Helek has no particular reputation at present
remarks on sex-related matters at school

Hi all,
My son(age 13) joined a new class with new colleagues.
During this first weeks of this semester one of the new colleagues started to target my son with different remarks on my son's dick and so on. This is know as a mobber and he has several followers. This guy already did mobbing in the past according to his other colleagues.
Anyhow, so far this remarks reached the point where the guy with his followers was debating in front of the class(during breaks, of course) what type of gay is my son.
This is very disturbing for me and especially for my son.
What you doin this situation? One option would be to query each kid's parents but there are 4 or 5 kids, so is a bit challenging or the other option would be to address this with the school. But i dont know if this is ok here in CH because the could see this as normal and stamp me as a hysterical parent.

Thank you for your advises,
Reply With Quote
The following 7 users would like to thank Helek for this useful post:
  #2  
Old 14.09.2021, 12:59
Ato Ato is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: ZH
Posts: 1,598
Groaned at 17 Times in 17 Posts
Thanked 2,995 Times in 1,212 Posts
Ato has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Have your son ask the bully what kind of man is he looking for?
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank Ato for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:05
Island Monkey's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wallis
Posts: 5,887
Groaned at 98 Times in 63 Posts
Thanked 6,541 Times in 2,977 Posts
Island Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Maybe your son should reply, that as he is so interested in his dick, that maybe he is the gay one?

Id speak to the school.
Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank Island Monkey for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:18
TonyClifton's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Hopefully soon to be Aargau
Posts: 1,651
Groaned at 580 Times in 332 Posts
Thanked 4,082 Times in 1,714 Posts
TonyClifton has a reputation beyond reputeTonyClifton has a reputation beyond reputeTonyClifton has a reputation beyond reputeTonyClifton has a reputation beyond reputeTonyClifton has a reputation beyond reputeTonyClifton has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Hi all,
My son(age 13) joined a new class with new colleagues.
During this first weeks of this semester one of the new colleagues started to target my son with different remarks on my son's dick and so on. This is know as a mobber and he has several followers. This guy already did mobbing in the past according to his other colleagues.
Anyhow, so far this remarks reached the point where the guy with his followers was debating in front of the class(during breaks, of course) what type of gay is my son.
This is very disturbing for me and especially for my son.
What you doin this situation? One option would be to query each kid's parents but there are 4 or 5 kids, so is a bit challenging or the other option would be to address this with the school. But i dont know if this is ok here in CH because the could see this as normal and stamp me as a hysterical parent.

Thank you for your advises,
Take it up with the school, it's the only way to go as a first step.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank TonyClifton for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:18
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Trub
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 6 Posts
Helek has no particular reputation at present
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
To understand the situation...I didnt get it, how they see each other's penises? ?
there was no such situation, was only based on assumptions and i dont think this is the issue.
I think is more the situation as-is, AFAIK this is embarrassing for my son, even more when there are girls around and is disturbing him because it makes him angry and cannot concentrate on the lessons and so on. Moreover this seems to look like sexual harassment(according to google, of course).
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:21
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Trub
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 6 Posts
Helek has no particular reputation at present
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Maybe your son should reply, that as he is so interested in his dick, that maybe he is the gay one?

Id speak to the school.
I was thinking at this but replying would lead to a verbal ping-pong and potentially physical assault. And this is the last think i want.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Helek for this useful post:
  #7  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:23
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Zurich
Posts: 511
Groaned at 24 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 222 Times in 123 Posts
Harrie Nak has annoyed a few people around hereHarrie Nak has annoyed a few people around here
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Considering he must be about the same age as your son, I'd go to school to have a word with him if school doesn't take action. Probably won't happen again after.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Harrie Nak for this useful post:
  #8  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:27
komsomolez's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: SZ
Posts: 2,139
Groaned at 101 Times in 74 Posts
Thanked 4,063 Times in 1,579 Posts
komsomolez has a reputation beyond reputekomsomolez has a reputation beyond reputekomsomolez has a reputation beyond reputekomsomolez has a reputation beyond reputekomsomolez has a reputation beyond reputekomsomolez has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

I'd suggest that your son will have to speak up to the bullies and also in front of the class make a point that he wants them to stop. If they don't, he should speak to a teacher.

You may also speak to the school behind the scenes, but I think it is important for him as he new guy to show up and not be ridiculed for bringing his mom in.
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank komsomolez for this useful post:
  #9  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:40
Bossa Nova's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Vaud
Posts: 199
Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 470 Times in 133 Posts
Bossa Nova has a reputation beyond reputeBossa Nova has a reputation beyond reputeBossa Nova has a reputation beyond reputeBossa Nova has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Hi Helek,

I am really sorry to hear this, it must be awful for your son. I was bullied in school at that age as well, and the worst part about it was that the girls were from quite dysfunctional/rough families where their parents didn't care about the situation at all. To them bullying was just what kids to do each other, and only sissies complain about it.

However, my parents were very supportive of me and took the matter to the teacher and then the principal, which at the time felt really embarrassing, but it did help with the overall situation. The bullies had a meeting with the principal, and their behaviour did change afterwards, even though it was still really awkward and stressful for me to be around them.

I would recommend approaching the teacher. Hopefully in this day and age they must have some training in how to deal with bullying situations in the classroom, and perhaps there are protocols in place for how to proceed. Your son definitely should not be made to feel that as a 13-year old he should try to deal with this on his own. It is such a tough age, and he still is just a kid.

Sending positive vibes your way,

B.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Bossa Nova for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:40
Ato Ato is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: ZH
Posts: 1,598
Groaned at 17 Times in 17 Posts
Thanked 2,995 Times in 1,212 Posts
Ato has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond reputeAto has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Have you really no control over your puerile minds and compulsion to answer?

The mother and child are clearly distressed about this. This is not for you to carry on joking about.
First response was genuine. Make a fool of the bully.

After that I got carried away....

But yeah, don't bring mammy in or it'll only get worse.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Ato for this useful post:
  #11  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:41
Treverus's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Work in ZH, live in SZ
Posts: 12,071
Groaned at 339 Times in 274 Posts
Thanked 23,072 Times in 8,349 Posts
Treverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
there was no such situation, was only based on assumptions and i dont think this is the issue.
I think is more the situation as-is, AFAIK this is embarrassing for my son, even more when there are girls around and is disturbing him because it makes him angry and cannot concentrate on the lessons and so on. Moreover this seems to look like sexual harassment(according to google, of course).
Ok, I dont know where you are from and I know that different cultures have very different attitudes to the topic of bullying.

In Switzerland is the attitude like in Germany on the relaxed side. Teenage boys making fun of each other with something they know is unacceptable - in this case homophobic comments - is seen as somehow normal. If your son is singled out by a gang on a continuous basis and they do more than "make him feel embarrassed in front of girls" is the situation a different one, but in all honesty: if you rush to the school for what you described so far is there a high chance that you make it worse. The teacher wont take you very serious and will most likely give some half-aresed speech to the class... which in turn will if anything motivate the boys to do more... not less.

I think Atos reply was best - the kid needs to learn to defend himself in a non-violent way. Bullies look for easy targets. If they risk getting more embarrased than him with the right come back will they pick some easier victim.
Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank Treverus for this useful post:
  #12  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:45
Island Monkey's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wallis
Posts: 5,887
Groaned at 98 Times in 63 Posts
Thanked 6,541 Times in 2,977 Posts
Island Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond reputeIsland Monkey has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Have you really no control over your puerile minds and compulsion to answer?

The mother and child are clearly distressed about this. This is not for you to carry on joking about.
I wasnt joking!
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Island Monkey for this useful post:
  #13  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:46
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Trub
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 6 Posts
Helek has no particular reputation at present
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Have you really no control over your puerile minds and compulsion to answer?

The mother and child are clearly distressed about this. This is not for you to carry on joking about.
Thank you but I am his father.
Reply With Quote
The following 11 users would like to thank Helek for this useful post:
  #14  
Old 14.09.2021, 13:52
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 13,357
Groaned at 1,241 Times in 823 Posts
Thanked 19,418 Times in 7,506 Posts
Chuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Hi all,
My son(age 13) joined a new class with new colleagues.
During this first weeks of this semester one of the new colleagues started to target my son with different remarks on my son's dick and so on. This is know as a mobber and he has several followers. This guy already did mobbing in the past according to his other colleagues.
Anyhow, so far this remarks reached the point where the guy with his followers was debating in front of the class(during breaks, of course) what type of gay is my son.
This is very disturbing for me and especially for my son.
What you doin this situation? One option would be to query each kid's parents but there are 4 or 5 kids, so is a bit challenging or the other option would be to address this with the school. But i dont know if this is ok here in CH because the could see this as normal and stamp me as a hysterical parent.

Thank you for your advises,
1) Tell the teachers what is going on, it's what they are there for and it is not down to you to solve this yourself. Obviously it is not normal to go through this kind of public bullying and you are not hysterical for reporting it. Your sons mental health is more important than your own insecurities, so take action and make this stop as soon as possible before your son begins to dread going to school in the morning.

2) Put your son into a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or Thai Boxing class. By the age of 15 or so he will have a lot more confidence, be able to look after himself properly and in addition he will make some new friends.
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank Chuff for this useful post:
  #15  
Old 14.09.2021, 14:02
Axa's Avatar
Axa Axa is online now
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Suhr, Aargau
Posts: 3,289
Groaned at 40 Times in 40 Posts
Thanked 4,423 Times in 2,043 Posts
Axa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
First response was genuine. Make a fool of the bully.

After that I got carried away....

But yeah, don't bring mammy in or it'll only get worse.
Traubert wants to overthink this. Let's do it.

Teachers are overworked folk, so most of them are in defensive mode. If the teacher has already identified the bully, the teacher will be very receptive to any comments from Helek. If not, it's just another helicopter parent that needs some tough love treatment. After all, kid bullies are very good to keep appearances with adults. Consider for a moment that if the bully has not history, another teacher may make fun of your kid and now the problem is bullying from children and adults.

So, if the teacher(s) already know the problem, go talk to them. If not, the crazy ideas from Ato and Island Monkey may work. In an ideal case, all the kids laugh at the bully and happy ending. In other case words are lost to the wind, but as you inferred the physical assault is one way to get the bully down. In that case the teacher cannot look the other way and has to act.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Axa for this useful post:
  #16  
Old 14.09.2021, 14:09
parnell's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Geroldswil
Posts: 642
Groaned at 219 Times in 140 Posts
Thanked 2,165 Times in 1,024 Posts
parnell has a reputation beyond reputeparnell has a reputation beyond reputeparnell has a reputation beyond reputeparnell has a reputation beyond reputeparnell has a reputation beyond reputeparnell has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
I was thinking at this but replying would lead to a verbal ping-pong and potentially physical assault. And this is the last think i want.
Young boys are going to have to learn to take and even give a punch along their way in life - if I look back I'd much much rather that my kid takes the odd lump over relentless psychological abuse.
I like what Ato wrote - teach him to be able to take a punch - God knows he'll need to learn that.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank parnell for this useful post:
  #17  
Old 14.09.2021, 14:31
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Trub
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 28 Times in 6 Posts
Helek has no particular reputation at present
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Young boys are going to have to learn to take and even give a punch along their way in life - if I look back I'd much much rather that my kid takes the odd lump over relentless psychological abuse.
I like what Ato wrote - teach him to be able to take a punch - God knows he'll need to learn that.
Well, the thing is that i understood that this guy-bully already received some physical correction from another kid which was bullied in the past and the bullied kid was punished by the school and even the police was involved in that nasty thing. Therefore, i am reluctant in this particular case.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Helek for this useful post:
  #18  
Old 14.09.2021, 14:46
Axa's Avatar
Axa Axa is online now
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Suhr, Aargau
Posts: 3,289
Groaned at 40 Times in 40 Posts
Thanked 4,423 Times in 2,043 Posts
Axa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond reputeAxa has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Well, the thing is that i understood that this guy-bully already received some physical correction from another kid which was bullied in the past and the bullied kid was punished by the school and even the police was involved in that nasty thing. Therefore, i am reluctant in this particular case.
That's great for your kid and you. Your complain will be just another one in a long list.

If the teachers are fed up of this kid, they'd be more than willing to listen to new problems and send the bully to the right school where it becomes someone else's problem.

PS. the story about being bullied by children and adults is my personal experience. It seems my mom "cried wolf" too soon. No one at the school have noticed anything, then she was regarded by teachers as the crazy one that exaggerates and me like the softie that cannot take or give a punch as normal young boys do. Politics are important at such young age...
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Axa for this useful post:
  #19  
Old 14.09.2021, 14:58
MusicChick's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 17,489
Groaned at 414 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 20,428 Times in 10,577 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

A friend's friend walked into a classroom and directly asked the bully what kind of heavy situation is making her so aggressive and mean to her daughter. And how can she, her daughter, the entire classroom, all the teachers and entire school help her become a normal person again. It worked a treat.
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank MusicChick for this useful post:
  #20  
Old 14.09.2021, 14:58
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 13,357
Groaned at 1,241 Times in 823 Posts
Thanked 19,418 Times in 7,506 Posts
Chuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond repute
Re: remarks on sex-related matters at school

Quote:
View Post
Well, the thing is that i understood that this guy-bully already received some physical correction from another kid which was bullied in the past and the bullied kid was punished by the school and even the police was involved in that nasty thing. Therefore, i am reluctant in this particular case.
That doesn't make any logical sense to me. Why would you be more reluctant when the guy has a history and therefore your complaint will be taken more seriously?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Chuff for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 2 (1 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
school related matter sailorimc Education 17 08.02.2020 23:38
Arab League condemns Gingrich's remarks on Palestinians Castro International affairs/politics 32 15.12.2011 17:27
Racist remarks at school yacek Daily life 26 04.12.2011 15:11
Sick of ignorant people [insensitive remarks of bystanders] Fidgety Complaints corner 12 01.06.2011 21:56


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 10:57.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0