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  #41  
Old 10.04.2008, 16:27
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

I completely agree with kadokan. I do not want this thread to go back to "have children/no children" debate, and I must admit that I have only limited experience with children (having only one child myself and not being very good with children in general). Yet sometimes I feel that children need some help to defend their human rights :-)) People (adults) too often consider children as something competely different from just a complete future human being, but often as a whining and demanding bundle that can be passed to a nanny or put into preschool as soon as possible. Yeah, we adults, at least some of us, have so much complexity and are infinitely more intelligent compared to a 5 y.o. But perhaps using this superior intelligence to develop the child's and having him or her as a friend and collaborator rather than a nuisance is one of the most interesting jobs, and it is certainly very very difficult one.

OK, to sum up, I feel that children are not that really different from us, adults. Even with people that we love and share all our experiences, even intellectual musings, i.e. our husbands, partners, you name it, every person needs some time alone, often just to feel even stronger how nice is to be together. With kids, this private time is often either impossible or postponed to indefinite future, and that drives parents mad. Coming back to the subject of the discussion, the problem as I see therefore it is not in the availability of a job employing brain cells per se. It is just that many many people and especially moms need a break and having a job is a good pretext.

Are there many successful stories about mothers getting back to their jobs and having fun and working hard with a team when a report has to be ready not later than at 2 am in the morning? Plenty. Are there many different ones when moms decide that children grow too fast and they do not want to miss it? Plenty too. Both categories of people are doing what they chose to do, and many succeed. The point I wanted to make is that we should not scapegoat (can I use it as a verb?) our children by saying that we ruined our carriers or lifes for them. Perhaps it sounds extremely idealistic, but I firmly believe that if we just clearly formulate the choices we have in life, including having and not having children, then make some of them consciously and with careful thinking about all the consequences, we'll have less inclination to victimize ourselves and the life will be sunnier :-)))

Sorry for such a long post.
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  #42  
Old 10.04.2008, 16:58
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

I'm not there yet, but I feel for the OP.

I left my job to follow my husband in this country. And I am now pregnant and new here, without a job...

It's not like I expect to find something now.... So I have to ''redesign'' my futur. I began to work at 15 and never stop between, except for a come back to school after university. I'm independant, and to work was always a part of who I am. Until now...

It was already a big decision for me to quit my job, to move here and be depending on someone else. I'm getting better with the idea, for only one reason, I will be a mom and I'll do something else.

I'm already working on some projects. I will finally create my own design, collection, label, etc. I am finally able to take the time to do it. I did that for others, created for others who sign my work. But now, It will be all me!

The good thing is, I'm not in a rush, I can take my time, nobody tells me to go faster, to bring money home.

I can't wait to be a mom, but I can't think to not do something else as well, so I try to organized it before, as much as I can...
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  #43  
Old 12.04.2008, 08:29
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

All I can say is that my sanity, well-being, happiness and general feelings towards my children as well as Switzerland have all increased VERY significantly since I started work 2 months ago. Ok, I am a little bit very much overqualified for the 50% job I am doing now, but hey, I get time away from the 2 and 4 year olds. The job actually pays for the childcare!
I get to talk to adults, and we DO NOT talk about children.
I started with a big multinational company where I will have the opportunity to slowly upgrade to a proper full time job. Slowly but surely!
I know it is very hard to be a working mum, especially here in Switzerland. But it is doable and definitely worth it! Go for it! I believe that you will be a better mum if you are happy. If working makes you happy, go and work!
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  #44  
Old 12.04.2008, 19:28
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

Before I had my boys now 3 years old and 20 months I used to think that I wouln't "just be a housewife" Now, I think that this is the best job I have ever had. I work at my own pace and the adventures that I have with my boys during our walks in the forest, going to the lake to feed the ducks, playing football, falling on the grass, tickleling each other, going to the swimming pool etc. I do not want to miss a day in their lives, and I can not imagine myself working and wondering if my kids are hungry or happy. I also wouldn't work just to pay child care. The well being and happiness of my boys is way more important than the negative side of feeling dependent. I used to work full time for ten years and it was very hard and boring the first two years that I didn't work. Then my first sunshine arrived and my life changed completelly. I really enjoy every day that passes by. The only negative side of being a mom is the gilt of being too hard on your kids but that is also called discipline.
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  #45  
Old 12.04.2008, 20:59
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

The choice of whether or not to be a working (or should that be working outside of the home) mum is such a personal desicion and nobody should be judged for the choice they make. The two posts above mine reflect this perfectly.
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  #46  
Old 16.04.2011, 15:18
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

Resurrecting a very old thread as it is that time in life for me again.
3 years on. 3 years wiser I hope. Many things have happened.

It is interesting (for me) reading through old replies from some people who have left, others that have changed over time.

This is my favourite reply, and pretty much sums it up:

Quote:
All I can say is that my sanity, well-being, happiness and general feelings towards my children as well as Switzerland have all increased VERY significantly since I started work 2 months ago. Ok, I am a little bit very much overqualified for the 50% job I am doing now, but hey, I get time away from the 2 and 4 year olds. The job actually pays for the childcare!
I get to talk to adults, and we DO NOT talk about children.
For me it is about making a contribution, being a member of society. Being amongst adults(!)
I have been on countless committees in the past few years, and have had so many volunteer positions, that I don't have the energy for that any more. (Ok, I am keeping a few small roles, but "releasing" the big ones..)

Saturday i spoke with some encouraging people yet again, Monday I sent out another 3 applications, by Tuesday I was sad that I hadn't heard from anyone I send out about 1-4 applications a week, and have done for about 3 months now. Most I dont hear back from. No big deal. We have to stay strong don't we?

I am happy to have spoken to some of you over time, that are also seeking work
Good luck to all of us
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  #47  
Old 17.04.2011, 22:17
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

I am new here and I don't know much about children but I do know a lot about jobs and working and I can tell you that jobs usually tend to lack challenge. You may be challenged here and there on a project but something that challenges you on a daily basis is not a desk job, nor is it paper pushing. For me, it would have to be research. When I am looking for answers, making plans, watching those plans materalize, helping someone achieve their goals, achieving my own goals, that is when I feel like I am being stimulated, that is what makes me want to go to work tomorrow.

Not every job is going to offer this (in fact the majority don't). If you end up in a desk job where you're staring out the window waiting for the day to pass, you will wish you were home with your kids but if you find the right job, it could become your priority. I don't think with children that your job can ever truly be priority, not sure about this but even my doctors, who are very serious about their profession, would put their children in front of a patient in a heartbeat. It is hard to balance being a parent and having a career. I think working with kids can be stimulating, I can be stimulated working with my dog. You just have to find ways to do things that challenge you. Growing a garden can be stimulating if you're reading about plant nutrition, deficiencies, illnesses, erradicating pests...

My point is, find a job that stimulates is hard for anyone. It will be even harder with children because stimulating jobs require that you make them a priority and I am not sure that is possible with children in your life.

Just my opinion. Sorry to be so wordy. My sister has two children and a job that is not stimulating and she can't wait to get out of her job so she can be with the kids all day changing nappies.

Have you considered working from home? Often times I work on web development projects from home and I can get very wrapped up in a project
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  #48  
Old 17.04.2011, 23:34
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

It's not that easy to work from home in Switzerland.

I actually think it is up to the person to be open to being able to fish out stimuli from even uninteresting work. You know, you tell people what you do and they roll their eyes saying "how can you do that" when one finds it incredibly stimulating...

It's not like we all want to be astronauts, presidents and pilots. I think intellectually stimulating can be a lot of jobs if one allows oneself work in certain way.
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  #49  
Old 17.04.2011, 23:43
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

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It's not that easy to work from home in Switzerland.

I actually think it is up to the person to be open to being able to fish out stimuli from even uninteresting work. You know, you tell people what you do and they roll their eyes saying "how can you do that" when one finds it incredibly stimulating...

It's not like we all want to be astronauts, presidents and pilots. I think intellectually stimulating can be a lot of jobs if one allows oneself work in certain way.
Very true. Like I said, I find tending to my garden to be stimulating. Other people find that very boring.

I can keep working with my US clients if I moved to Switzerland but I am not sure how that would work with taxes and with me not being a Swiss citizen.
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Old 27.04.2011, 09:55
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

Just have to share this with all my imaginary friends out there..

i have my first job interview (for this round of searching) on Friday

What a surprise..

In the finance department of an engineering firm - the best of both worlds

oh gawd.. what to wear..
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  #51  
Old 27.04.2011, 10:04
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

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oh gawd.. what to wear..
We will be thinking of you!

Wear something tone down and professional (that's always hot, anyways). Suit, super clean shoes, hair in a bun.

I stick to my home dress code even when it is not done here. They call me "la fille avec les cravates", it's funny, and they know I am not stealing them home, since my ties are usually pink, baby blue or so.

Good luck. Up and at them!
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Old 27.04.2011, 11:41
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

Does it help to say that you are already doing the most important job there is, for you, your family and for society?
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  #53  
Old 27.04.2011, 12:42
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

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Just have to share this with all my imaginary friends out there..

i have my first job interview (for this round of searching) on Friday

What a surprise..

In the finance department of an engineering firm - the best of both worlds

oh gawd.. what to wear..
All the best!
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  #54  
Old 27.04.2011, 20:15
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

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Does it help to say that you are already doing the most important job there is, for you, your family and for society?
Which is why i am only looking for something part time, and why i left my (pretty decent i must say) job in Zurich when i did.

For some it is right to go into paid work, for some it isn't.
For some it is right to breastfeed, for some it isnt. etc..

But like someone else said - for me personally, i think i would be easier to live with if i had something other than the housework and kids activities to concentrate on.
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Old 27.04.2011, 20:36
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Re: Probability of finding an intellectually stimulating job if you have children

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In the finance department of an engineering firm - the best of both worlds

oh gawd.. what to wear..
Looks like you may be stepping into a guy's world there.
I'd go for the dark suit look, but fitted and feminine with nice make-up and a chignon (if you have long hair).
Confidence, seriousness, efficiency while remaining young and elegant.

Yay an interview, that's cool
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