Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Employment  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 27.11.2014, 22:40
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: zurich
Posts: 6
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
sy2008 has no particular reputation at present
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Big Hug..I can very well imagine what you must be going through its been four years since I am here though I have kid too to keep me occupied but specially in winters its too much to keep yourself composed.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank sy2008 for this useful post:
  #22  
Old 27.11.2014, 22:47
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Horn/TG
Posts: 1,802
Groaned at 45 Times in 32 Posts
Thanked 900 Times in 611 Posts
blackbird is considered knowledgeableblackbird is considered knowledgeableblackbird is considered knowledgeable
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Living in Zurich and not earning money is pretty hard.
The people live there for showing how successful there are , it is all about
the money(for example the bahnhofstrasse or Goldcoast/Bellevue).
I lived about 5 and a half years in zurich , liked it , but don't like the(some) people attitude, even at coop some people thought they were VIP.
At my work(at the hotel) the attitude of the(some) guests goes nuts as well, because they are spending a lot of money does not mean they can do what they want.
I did not went to clubs or discos(they are playing only techno).
You have to get out of this dead end, one way or the other.
Did you tried go for a swim ?
https://www.stadt-zuerich.ch/ssd/de/...lenbaeder.html
I visited a french languange course (at the KVZ Business School), perhaps you can visit one , too.
Do You like Concerts ?
There you can meet people with the same interests.

I live now in Basel(since July this Year), even the sales people are much friendlier then the ones in zurich and there is less fog compared to zurich.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank blackbird for this useful post:
  #23  
Old 27.11.2014, 22:56
Samaire13's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: CH
Posts: 4,333
Groaned at 128 Times in 102 Posts
Thanked 7,258 Times in 2,761 Posts
Samaire13 has a reputation beyond reputeSamaire13 has a reputation beyond reputeSamaire13 has a reputation beyond reputeSamaire13 has a reputation beyond reputeSamaire13 has a reputation beyond reputeSamaire13 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Sounds like a classic case of unrealistic expectations. A lot of it could have probably been foreseen; but let's leave it at that for now, others have already brought up some of the 'issues' you mentioned.

Have you talked to your spouse about this?

As for the professional situation: have you done some research as to what additional or alternative degree or skills or courses might help you find a job? Or is a change of career path an option? There's plenty of distance-learning options now too if a local German course is out of the question (which I'm guessing it is). Be careful with the programs as the quality can be terrible, but there are also good ones with a good reputation and at an OK cost. It would give you something hopefully exciting to do and even be of benefit in the long run. Or is that no option at all?

As for your social life: how about friends of your spouse? Or have you joined some of the social events organized through members here on EF? How about joining a language class or taking German lessons with someone your age or something like that? It's worth a try...

But to add on the social bit: I do realize it's not easy to connect with people here; even though I'm Swiss myself, I moved within the country a few times and had an especially hard time integrating where I live now (as ridiculous as that may sound). Many people here tend to have a small, but tight-knit circle of friends, all of whom they've known for decades. It's difficult to get into these circles and become a 'full member'; I guess this is a cultural thing.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Samaire13 for this useful post:
  #24  
Old 27.11.2014, 23:50
cricketer's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: near zurich
Posts: 1,196
Groaned at 29 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 1,051 Times in 427 Posts
cricketer has a reputation beyond reputecricketer has a reputation beyond reputecricketer has a reputation beyond reputecricketer has a reputation beyond reputecricketer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

I am really sorry to hear this - it just repeats the pattern that is so common.
My former wife struggled here for 3 years. She left and we subsequently divorced.
That's the bald facts unfortunately.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 27.11.2014, 23:51
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,627
Groaned at 70 Times in 49 Posts
Thanked 3,798 Times in 2,056 Posts
rainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond reputerainer_d has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Quote:
View Post
What can i say? I fell in love and that's why I came here.
There's nothing bad about that.
As others have said, both parties in this marriage are probably guilty of completely failing in the expectation-management department.
But it's a trap faor too easy to fall into - so bear with your husband in this respect.

Quote:
View Post
I thought there would be plentiful career opportunities
There are - but few for people who don't speak any of the languages and don't know the market but work in a field where both is sort of a must.
Imagine somebody in your profession coming to the US, but speaking little English or Spanish, nor Chinese/Korean - do they actually have use for people like that?


Quote:
View Post
and that Zurich would be more urban (it's more of a town/village than a city)
Have you seen the actual villages?
;-)

Quote:
View Post
It's also central in Europe with somewhat close access to Italy/Spain/Paris (not like we can afford to go there often) I though, Why NOT?
I did certainly not want to question your motives coming here.
Quote:
View Post

As far as medication/drugs, honestly, it's what doctors suggest. Who knows, maybe the lack of sunshine here is affecting me?
Depends on the medication, of course.
I would stay away from psychiatric medication as long as possible.
But then, I'm not a doctor, much less a psychiatrist.

Quote:
View Post

I want to have a child in the future, but having a baby here where I'm completely, isolated with no support and highly depressed.....doesn't make for a good mom at all!
This would of course be right - but (and I say that as someone who has undoubtedly waited too long already) I have to ask: when and where do you think your situation will have improved to the point where you feel "ready"?
If you land a job, I imagine you'll want to "stabilize" your career before getting pregnant (I'd want to, too - I don't blame anybody for doing).

But as someone else has pointed out already, this is primarily something you and your partner will have to discuss. I really didn't want to make you spread out your private life and thoughts in this manner.
It was merely intended as a "food for thought", if you want.

In any case, I wish you good luck.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank rainer_d for this useful post:
  #26  
Old 28.11.2014, 09:43
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Bienne, Berne
Posts: 15
Groaned at 3 Times in 1 Post
Thanked 5 Times in 2 Posts
wayofliberation has no particular reputation at present
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Hi,


I feel sorry for your bad experience here.


Finding a job here is a hard job, I also experienced a bad period enemployed and without any money.


Here to fully live you have to earn a lot of money in your job or to be entrepreneur beacause everything is expensive. A middle salary (60k a year) didn't permit a lot of excess if you want to save money to do something else than work, consume, sleep and die.


Sadly most of people here are just good selfish consumer who didn't care of the others (thinking that arab want to hurt them beacause TV says it =D).
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 28.11.2014, 09:49
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Pfäffikon, Zurich
Posts: 75
Groaned at 2 Times in 1 Post
Thanked 44 Times in 28 Posts
Savanna3 has become a little unpopularSavanna3 has become a little unpopular
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

I went through several years of depression after having my second child. The thing that snapped me out of it was medication. While I would not want to be on that routine long term, I found it was the one thing that really helped me. I just wanted to put that out there since several people have warned you away from medication. In my case, it was exactly what I needed. It gave me the energy and the positive outlook that I was missing.

Again, I wouldn't have said anything at all, except that several people seemed to try to steer you away from medication. I just wanted you and anyone else who may read this in the future to know that it is OK to listen to your instincts. If you think that medication may be needed, you are probably at the point where you should consult a doctor.

Sending my best wishes for a speedy "recovery" your way!
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Savanna3 for this useful post:
  #28  
Old 28.11.2014, 10:21
adrianlondon's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 9,138
Groaned at 170 Times in 153 Posts
Thanked 25,643 Times in 6,892 Posts
adrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Quote:
View Post
I went through several years of depression after having my second child. The thing that snapped me out of it was medication.
That sounds more like post-natal depression.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank adrianlondon for this useful post:
  #29  
Old 28.11.2014, 10:33
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 31,587
Groaned at 2,354 Times in 1,712 Posts
Thanked 38,385 Times in 18,115 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Quote:
View Post
Many people here tend to have a small, but tight-knit circle of friends, all of whom they've known for decades. It's difficult to get into these circles and become a 'full member'; I guess this is a cultural thing.
Actually, it was pretty much the same in the US.

Most of my friends, here or there, Swiss or not, I've known for decades.

Tom
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 28.11.2014, 10:43
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: 8824
Posts: 20
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 11 Times in 3 Posts
eac123 has no particular reputation at present
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Really feeling for you and have been exactly where you are (still am on bad days).

Having struture and daily routine are crucial to improve your self esteem.

Do you have a daily routine?

You mentioned you get fresh air with walking - regular exercising is a much better prescription than drugs and you don't have to join an expensive gym.

Do you remember when you were working - were there things then that you really wished you had time to do just for you? Now is the time to do it!

And one more thing - you are still very much valuable as a person with or without a job.

Hope this helps!

Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank eac123 for this useful post:
  #31  
Old 28.11.2014, 10:47
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,328
Groaned at 7 Times in 5 Posts
Thanked 1,445 Times in 719 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Quote:
View Post
You want to integrate here without a job?
Have a baby. Seriously. The whole system will suck you in and you will become Borg.
When I started reading this thread, my immediate gut response after OP was "don't have a baby, just don't"...then I kept reading and saw the tongue-in-cheek reply above, and had to laugh.

I could write a VERY long entry on my own experiences with many of the feelings/topics Hopeinajar mentions in the first post - the boredom that gets mentioned by many (more than a few!) is often addressed as "go out, meet people, find things to do, etc" - but I think it is a one-word label for a general state of mental malaise that can set in when one is confronted dayin/out with pretty much the same routine, predictable "to-do" lists, predictable "polite encounters" etc.

If there is one sound I have come to dread over the years, it is that shutting door - OH to work or children off to school - me left in my domestic existence that has always been at its worst in the CH years. I am able to pursue some professional work from home, but fully aware of my hate for being stuck at home take my life to wherever I can sit the longest unbothered, plug into BBC3/4, work on iPad, so I too can look FORWARD to going home again.

As far as medication I think together with a medical professional you would need to carefully think about whether introducing anti-depressives short-term would give you the necessary boost to reform a constructive frame-of-mind, which ultimately should empower your job search, or if you would be introducing more unknowns. It was a rocky road (not the yummy sticky kind) for my OH about 8-9 years ago when a series of medical issues landed me in the hospital for 6 months - I had a total immune system breakdown (likely triggered by undiagnosed low thyroid, then septicaemia, psychosis, and topped off by depression diagnosis)

From a holistic point-of-view all of these things fit together very neatly, but there was also the chicken or egg question. The doctors concluded that much of the depression was caused by my complete lack of feeling I had had the opportunity to pursue my own life dreams/goals beyond higher education - OH was on an ever upward and onward path - whereas I had been holding the fortress together through repeated relocations, and finding small jobs but not the career for which I had actually gone back to grad school for.

I was recommended anti-depressives but I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable feeling as if a medication was somehow impacting on my mental state-of-being. I did find someone who did psychotherapeutic massage (I have always had regular massage but the insurance was happy to pay for this more specialised variant) Someone else putting their energy into my body really helped me to feel empowered to take control and reassess my circumstances.

I knew this would ramble, because I think I "know" that feeling you are trying to describe - life jsn't all bad, but will it change, in CH? Can you take a weekend away, or a whole week? I'm a non-committed city/country woman and find even a few hours or day of city-buzz can reenergise me and give me enough mental material to stay out of a hole. When we lived in Cambridge UK, I would take quite regular trips to London to keep me sane, and reinforce that feeling that despite how important everyone thinks they are, we are just little ant-sized organisms in the giant anthill of the universe.

Your OH is a grown man, you have no children, go visit friends for a week, or meet up somewhere, clear some mental space and see if you can approach job hunt with fresh energy. Don't give up! It might feel really difficult looking for a job as female of certain age w/o children, but it definitely is not easier with, and the gap of time w/o job grows and impacts on confidence and marketability
Reply With Quote
The following 7 users would like to thank Tasebo for this useful post:
  #32  
Old 28.11.2014, 10:59
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: zurich
Posts: 20
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 35 Times in 9 Posts
hopeinajar has no particular reputation at present
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Thanks again everyone.

It is my doctor that has suggested meds bc I have tried everything that people suggest on these boards to integrate:
- German courses
- Meet up activities, events, networking.
- Spending time with spouse's friends (whom he's known since childhood)
- Going for walks saying "grutzi" with a friendly smile to people.
- Touring different towns/villages all over.
- Cooking, cleaning, laundry, housechores (repeat/repeat/repeat)
- Fitness club classes (again, no one speaks english or hangs out there)
- gone to bars, but not the most healthy thing :-(

I guess it takes a lot longer here to make friends than other places. I agree (with the other poster) about local swiss having friends since childhood that they grew up with (and you will never "break into the circle") expats come and go so quickly that I often wonder if it's worth the effort to meet someone on a 6 month contract who is going back home.....

- I have searched for volunteer work, but have been told that everything requires German. There aren't as many opportunities as in other countries. they don't allow unpaid work here (internships are only for college students)

- My German is very beginner still, and there aren't University courses given in English that do not require me to enroll in a 3 year degree program.

- I would love to find some other Certificate programs to attend and increase my skills - but with the amount of $$$ they cost I would like it to be professional/accredited. Hard to say if it is worth it.

- I don't know what else to try (with no $$$$) everything is sooooo expensive here.

I've been on medications in the past, and they can be helpful coping support when you feel all hope is lost. My mood has affected me physically - I'm tired with no energy all the time. I'm hoping it will help a bit.


Quote:
View Post
I went through several years of depression after having my second child. The thing that snapped me out of it was medication. While I would not want to be on that routine long term, I found it was the one thing that really helped me. I just wanted to put that out there since several people have warned you away from medication. In my case, it was exactly what I needed. It gave me the energy and the positive outlook that I was missing.

Sending my best wishes for a speedy "recovery" your way!
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank hopeinajar for this useful post:
  #33  
Old 28.11.2014, 11:10
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Basel
Posts: 61
Groaned at 2 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 44 Times in 19 Posts
LittleGirl has earned some respectLittleGirl has earned some respect
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Too bad you don't live in Basel. I find my life repeating itself again and similar to your situation, I didn't work when I lived in Germany and it was so isolating, depressing and lonely. Didn't think we'd live there 2.9 years and never learned the language which was a huge problem. The neighbors kept to themselves and children were out of the question. So was the financial situation as we were deeply in debt then left and lived in the states for 5 yrs. We're back in Europe and I know what to expect and have a better attitude this time and hopefully a better financial situation. I would get a thorough medical check, especially your thyroid if you are depressed and someday want to have children. The above message was really good.
If you'd like to get away for day in January, let me know. I'll meet you at the train station and we can scout out the city. I'm leaving for the states Tuesday to organize the move and will be back the first weekend in January. Send me a PM and we can get to know each other a bit more before then...if you're interested. Cheers. Hugs. Thanks for reaching out because that's the first step in moving onward.
edit: typo
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank LittleGirl for this useful post:
  #34  
Old 28.11.2014, 11:22
jax jax is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 43
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 18 Times in 16 Posts
jax has no particular reputation at present
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Avoid the drugs. You are upset for a valid reason! It is perfectly normal to feel this way while unemployed & in a new place. Medication is for people depressed without a valid reason.

How about trying to figure out how your skills are transferable to different roles.
Good writing skills are extremely valuable - especially in Switzerland. For example, english writing skills are needed in CRO/pharms for producing journal publications and they have trouble finding native speakers. Perhaps you might be lucky even if you don't have a medical background.

http://www.emwa.org/EMWA/Resources/J...nd_and_UK.aspx

Of course, if the unemployment situation continues for too long then it will start putting pressure on your relationship. A backup plan is needed if you don't manage to pick up a job by May.

Perhaps think about living in a city such as Milan/Strasbourg/Paris. Both have direct trains for visiting parents but are sunny & more energetic.

Knee injury - try Schulthess clinic or Pilates.

The best way to handle unemployment is to establish routine.
Break up the day into parts, timetable it and stick to it. For example, take laptop to cafe for say 2 hours. Starbucks has atmosphere and you can get away with not buying a drink. :-)

Free uni courses on “coursea.org”. You can take one uni subject at a time via respected university.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 28.11.2014, 11:23
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: zurich
Posts: 20
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 35 Times in 9 Posts
hopeinajar has no particular reputation at present
LittleGirl,

thank you for the kind post.

Are you originally from the States? I'm curious how your experience there and what prompted you to move back to Europe?

Quote:
View Post
Avoid the drugs. You are upset for a valid reason! It is perfectly normal to feel this way while unemployed & in a new place. Medication is for people depressed without a valid reason.

How about trying to figure out how your skills are transferable to different roles.
Good writing skills are extremely valuable - especially in Switzerland. For example, english writing skills are needed in CRO/pharms for producing journal publications and they have trouble finding native speakers. Perhaps you might be lucky even if you don't have a medical background.

http://www.emwa.org/EMWA/Resources/J...nd_and_UK.aspx

Of course, if the unemployment situation continues for too long then it will start putting pressure on your relationship. A backup plan is needed if you don't manage to pick up a job by May.

Perhaps think about living in a city such as Milan/Strasbourg/Paris. Both have direct trains for visiting parents but are sunny & more energetic.

Knee injury - try Schulthess clinic or Pilates.

The best way to handle unemployment is to establish routine.
Break up the day into parts, timetable it and stick to it. For example, take laptop to cafe for say 2 hours. Starbucks has atmosphere and you can get away with not buying a drink. :-)

Free uni courses on “coursea.org”. You can take one uni subject at a time via respected university.
Thanks Jax,

I will take a look at the link. It looks like you need a PhD though to go into Medical writing (i had thought about that but only have a Bachelors degree and it is not in writing)

I am very discouraged with my search as I have been unemployed for almost 2 years. I'm very afraid what kind of impact this gap has on my career - or ability to find any kind of job! I have no university or schooling in between to make up for this gap.

Last edited by 3Wishes; 28.11.2014 at 13:44. Reason: merging successive posts
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank hopeinajar for this useful post:
  #36  
Old 28.11.2014, 11:30
lucy_who's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Germany
Posts: 643
Groaned at 7 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 1,002 Times in 384 Posts
lucy_who has a reputation beyond reputelucy_who has a reputation beyond reputelucy_who has a reputation beyond reputelucy_who has a reputation beyond reputelucy_who has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Urgh, poor you! I can totally relate. Although I was dead keen to give up a pretty high-pressure and emotionally draining job and pursue my hobbies for a while, it hasn't turned out that way because my health took a major nose-dive not long after we arrived. I wasn't able to try the meet-ups, German classes etc so I don't really know anyone - honestly my 'best friend' is my physiotherapist…

It sounds like your best bet is to try to make friends with other expats rather than with locals, try to arrange a weekly meet-up for coffee or go down to the Mousetrap pub on Thursday nights. Also continue with the German lessons, so you know that eventually you'll be able to get a job - having a goal is really important if you're on the verge of depression. A reasonable level of German will also mean you can volunteer while you're job-hunting.

And if all else fails, Netflix.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank lucy_who for this useful post:
  #37  
Old 28.11.2014, 11:33
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Geneva and Nendaz
Posts: 1,063
Groaned at 8 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 1,178 Times in 490 Posts
SuisseRomand has a reputation beyond reputeSuisseRomand has a reputation beyond reputeSuisseRomand has a reputation beyond reputeSuisseRomand has a reputation beyond reputeSuisseRomand has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Quote:
View Post
I put on a smile and cook dinner before he gets home, because I don't want to upset him, nothing else he can do. I've begun to feel trapped and anxious about the future.
You actually have to talk about what you feel with him. Don't let him believe everything is fine.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank SuisseRomand for this useful post:
  #38  
Old 28.11.2014, 11:36
xandeo's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Top right corner
Posts: 338
Groaned at 28 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 468 Times in 174 Posts
xandeo has an excellent reputationxandeo has an excellent reputationxandeo has an excellent reputationxandeo has an excellent reputation
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Quote:
View Post
I guess it takes a lot longer here to make friends than other places. I agree (with the other poster) about local swiss having friends since childhood that they grew up with (and you will never "break into the circle") expats come and go so quickly that I often wonder if it's worth the effort to meet someone on a 6 month contract who is going back home.....
I think that in the end it is a question of luck and circumstances. I lived in Stockholm for 2,5 years and didn't manage to make any long-term friendships at all, despite the fact that I do speak perfectly Swedish (I actually don't even have any-one to call or visit there at all). In the same time here, I have made 5-10 Swiss friends (real friends that I have made on my own, not introduced by girlfriend) whom I regularly meet and slowly learn Swiss German with. To me, Switzerland has been good and open, much more than Sweden was. It's a lottery...

Stay off the meds, I'd say. Once you pop, you can't stop... quite a few of my friends back home started with meds for a period and they keep going back every year or two. It's a spiral.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 28.11.2014, 11:46
Newbie
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Bremgarten, Aargau
Posts: 3
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 17 Times in 2 Posts
Mia19 has earned some respectMia19 has earned some respect
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Like many others who've replied, I understand how you feel. I moved here about 18 months back to join my Swiss husband, leaving behind a thriving career, family and familiar surroundings. Moving was not new to me, since I'd relocated successfully many times before. What threw me, however was the absolute disadvantage I was now in due to not knowing the language. Every strength or advantage I'd ever considered myself as having, disappeared in the face of simply being unable to communicate. And to be honest, it didn't help that I am a bit of an introvert. I actually joined the EF even before I moved here, but this is my first post, 'cos I empathize and feel for you. I was terrified about this move being the end of my career, as I work in communication too and English is just about the only language I know.

If I hadn't landed a job in an English-speaking MNC within 6 months of moving, I would probably been have been in a much worse situation than you by now. But what I really want to say is... its not so much about just finding a job and working. I love my job and everything is just perfect at home and at work; BUT I still found myself depressed and wistful at times.... and lonely, very lonely. What finally made a difference is.. I made myself a friend. It was terribly difficult as I am not the most social person, I haven't done half of what you have. Luckily, she was new to Switzerland as well and struggling just as I was. We met in German class and slowly hit it off. It seemed to make all the difference, having someone who was entirely MY friend (not inherited from my husband's gang of friends) and in the same boat as me. Though from different cultures, we've bonded over all things Swiss :P

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Learning the language and "integrating" is bound to take a very, very long time. And its already been established that landing a job is just not easy. Just concentrate on yourself and whatever it is you feel you need to do right now to make yourself feel better. What about the AWC, Zurich? You could probably find someone who is in a similar situation too and just as friendly. (I would love to make Swiss friends, but I really don't know where I'd meet one who wanted to be friends too.) I'm sure you are very smart and confident... don't stop believing in yourself and how capable you are. Set a goal and work towards it... sometimes, having a purpose and achieving it is enough to bring back your confidence and make you feel positive about yourself. I'm probably mouthing off a lot of what you probably already know or have been told. Its just that I understand and hope to help you feel better in some way. You've only been here, what, a year? Give it time... And you can ping me anytime... Though I've gone on and on, I've been told I'm a really good listener BIG HUG!!
Reply With Quote
The following 16 users would like to thank Mia19 for this useful post:
  #40  
Old 28.11.2014, 11:51
jax jax is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 43
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 18 Times in 16 Posts
jax has no particular reputation at present
Re: Stay-at-Home Spouses [unemployed, depressed, bored to tears]

Often they want Phds/Masters but you can be lucky. Actually being in Switzerland would help you get into it because they can't find enough native speakers to edit the papers. Your degree doesn't need to be in writing but it helps if it was in biology/science/medical related.

Perhaps see what courses the European Medical Writers Assoc (or US Assoc) offer.

I don't think a gap matters so much. It matters how you speak about it (sell it) and that you sound positive. After all you did some German courses during this time...the Swiss will like hearing that.

Last edited by jax; 28.11.2014 at 12:27.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bored, depressed, stay at home spouse




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How to become a stay-at-home dad kiwigeek Employment 40 12.08.2013 14:20
Stay at home mum wants to contribute towards her pension telandy Finance/banking/taxation 2 16.06.2010 17:12
Stuck at home being bored gata General off-topic 32 27.01.2010 16:22
unemployed, but i have to stay here Rheinsky Permits/visas/government 3 02.10.2009 16:22
Encouraging Of Stay at Home Moms twinkletoes Family matters/health 49 05.11.2008 17:32


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 12:12.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0