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  #41  
Old 23.08.2018, 12:58
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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Both bosses of the women mentioned were not too pleased, but pregnant women are the most protected bunch and even me, as a woman, am deeply annoyed by the ones who take advantage of their "special rights" and abuse the system. They also give all the other pregnant women who work hard and continue to give their best - a bad name. Don't get me wrong, if there are medical issues during the pregnancy, I fully understand to go on leave earlier, but I have seen first hand some can also BS - and that drives me mad.
Wowsers. Unsympathetic indeed. I have to ask, but really it's none of my business... have you ever been pregnant? There is no exhaustion like it in my experience... and I've worked 50 plus hour working weeks while pregnant.

Add to that all the "invisible" horrid symptoms like heartburn, indigestion (and i mean burning pain for hours), migraines, dizziness, shortness of breath, anemia, nausea (always a fun one) and round ligament pain and you have a cocktail for endless fun.

Anecdote Alert: With my first pregnancy I worked full time until 36 weeks and had my kid at 38 weeks. Not fun. I looked "great" apparently all the way through, many people repeatedly told me so, but I suffered from all of the above symptoms, taking all sorts of prescribed meds just to make it out of the car park in a morning.

Last edited by RufusB; 23.08.2018 at 13:21.
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  #42  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:20
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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Wowsers. Unsympathetic indeed. I have to ask, but really it's none of my business... have you ever been pregnant? There is no exhaustion like it in my experience... and I've worked 50 plus hour working weeks while pregnant.
I am 99.9% certain that the answer to the question is a big fat “NO”. I would be even more schocked if the answer was yes.
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  #43  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:22
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

all the op has succeeded in doing is making yet another employer think twice about hiring women <slow clap>

you know it really gets my goat hearing women say things like stick together, sisters, feminism etc etc at the end of the day you'll screw each other over just as much as men.
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  #44  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:26
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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Add to that all the "invisible" horrid symptoms like heartburn, indigestion (and i mean burning pain for hours), migraines, dizziness, shortness of breath, anemia, nausea (always a fun one) and round ligament pain and you have a cocktail for endless fun.
Our cat brought my ex a freshly killed bird about every third morning through both pregnancies.

I thought it was very touching.

Last edited by JagWaugh; 23.08.2018 at 13:43. Reason: Ups! Not car, CAT!
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  #45  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:27
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

Sorry, but I think it is totally correct to wait 3 months before informing anyone, since before that really you can't really be sure of success, to be blunt, plus, terribly tough decision as it might be, you can still change your mind with some medical help.

In the end, a doctor's note should entitle you to the right insurance coverage, you don't get much maternity leave anyway in this country so if your employer wanted you to join, above everyone else, a few months felixibility should not really matter. I mean they could have got rid of you in your probation if they thought otherwise (and still after seeing the flexible nature of the labour law - no pun intended)
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  #46  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:29
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

Wouldn't it be great If pregnancies were easier and could begin and end with a flick of a switch, on and off.
That way we could plan it better and not inconvenience anyone. A design flaw, clearly
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  #47  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:34
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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Wouldn't it be great If pregnancies were easier and could begin and end with a flick of a switch, on and off.
That way we could plan it better and not inconvenience anyone. A design flaw, clearly
I've always thought the fellas should give it a bash. There would be better maternity pay and conditions, more (and better paid) midwives and probably some sort of zip arrangement if they did.
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  #48  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:36
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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I've always thought the fellas should give it a bash. There would be better maternity pay and conditions, more (and better paid) midwives and probably some sort of zip arrangement if they did.
Don't most pregnancies start off with a male zip (dis)arrangement..?
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  #49  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:38
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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I've always thought the fellas should give it a bash. There would be better maternity pay and conditions, more (and better paid) midwives and probably some sort of zip arrangement if they did.
The tools would also be more diverse, not to mention interesting.
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Old 23.08.2018, 13:39
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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Don't most pregnancies start off with a male zip (dis)arrangement..?
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  #51  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:40
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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The tools would also be more diverse, not to mention interesting.
Oh the tools of pregancy are exceedingly diverse. And so are the Tools.
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  #52  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:41
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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Our car brought my ex a freshly killed bird about every third morning through both pregnancies.
Pretty cool. Did it talk, too, like Kitt?
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  #53  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:43
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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Pretty cool. Did it talk, too, like Kitt?
they weren't birds, they where oil stains.
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  #54  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:44
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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Oh the tools of pregancy are exceedingly diverse. And so are the Tools.
The cravings would be a lot simpler.

"Honey, is there any beer left?"
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  #55  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:46
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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So women of child bearing age should be discounted entirely? This is a highly discriminatory view IMO. And actively damages the notion of fair treatment for all.
I am not sure how you draw that conclusion ? I am stating if you are pregnant or any other condition you must mention it during a job interview. Why would this relate to "women of child bearing age ?" they are not pregnant, they are just women.

Do I need to mention I might break my leg in future at an interview simply because I walk to work in the morning ?
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Old 23.08.2018, 13:49
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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I once had a colleague, who got pregnant after a few months of joining our company, called in sick and that same evening we bumped into each other at the gym! (and she was there for a kick-boxing class) When I asked her if she was feeling okay, she just had this "ooops!" look on her face and smiled.

Now, this "calling in sick" due to her pregnancy and then seeing her at the gym in the evening happened twice. She then started to tell us at work that her doctor told her she really needs to take it easy and should stop working 3 months before due date. I told her "isn't that if you have medical complications? if everything is fine during your pregnancy, it is not an illness and some people work till a week before due date" But she went on to say "yes, my doctor said...."

She then one day told her boss and me (as we had to work very closely together) that her doctor ordered her to go on 50% immediately (this was 7 weeks before her due date) and to lie down every afternoon as the baby's head was very low and there was danger of early birth. Meanwhile, she kept coming to work on her bicycle in heavy snow!! Really? If the baby's head is so low and the risk of early birth....hmmmm?? AND... meanwhile she had changed gyms so we wouldn't run into each other.

During one of her 50% days, I was talking about my gym class, when she excitedly started to say "oh you know, last night at my zumba class.." and she immediately stopped realizing what she'd said, so I asked her "didn't your doctor order you to lie down every afternoon?" She sheepishly said "she said every afternoon....not at night..."

Then 2 weeks into her 50%, she told us that the doctor told her she must be 100% off work (and she still cycled to work then in heavy snow), so 5 weeks before due date she went off to start her pre-birth holiday with 100% pay. Mind you, she is the fittest woman I have known in my life and I knew without a doubt she was lying and she just had the easiest doctor ever.

In the end, the baby was born 2 weeks PAST due date. Yeah yeah, baby's head was SO low it was dangerous, but she could still jump up and down at the gym and cycle in snow to work. She told people later in the office that "the doctor miscalculated the due date....hence the baby was "late"... We all know, a due date is calculated from your last period. She clearly was trying to cover up her BS.

Then, another colleague also went on 100% leave 4 weeks before due date with the reason of "I am just too tired".

Both bosses of the women mentioned were not too pleased, but pregnant women are the most protected bunch and even me, as a woman, am deeply annoyed by the ones who take advantage of their "special rights" and abuse the system. They also give all the other pregnant women who work hard and continue to give their best - a bad name. Don't get me wrong, if there are medical issues during the pregnancy, I fully understand to go on leave earlier, but I have seen first hand some can also BS - and that drives me mad.
The first mother may have been taking the piss or not, it depends on the specific case.

But for the second; this is a perfectly normal need that late in pregnancy. At that stage, the baby looks like a baby, but everything needs to dramatically increase in size to be viable. All that new tissue has to be built from scratch; pregnant women basically spend the final trimester as eating and sleeping body-building machines. By the last month, you are extremely uncomfortable, the back/joint pain and the bowling ball between you and the floor mean that simple activities now take ages, hormones mean that your GI system is completely out of whack, and sleeping continuously for long periods becomes increasingly difficult.

Perhaps if more men and women learned about the physiology of what is actually happening, there would be more sympathy and understanding. What I find somewhat shocking is the number of men whose partners have been pregnant who have knowledge of or interest in what is happening during that process. When the same men refuse to hire women of childbearing age, it just smacks of hypocrisy.
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Old 23.08.2018, 13:52
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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I am not sure how you draw that conclusion ? I am stating if you are pregnant or any other condition you must mention it during a job interview. Why would this relate to "women of child bearing age ?" they are not pregnant, they are just women.
I've sat in on candidate selection meetings where more than one hiring manager has discounted women's CVs because "she's married with no kids yet, too risky."

Don't think they even realised what they were implying.

Not just here in Switzerland but in the UK, too.
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  #58  
Old 23.08.2018, 13:55
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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What I find somewhat shocking is the number of men whose partners have been pregnant who have knowledge of or interest in what is happening during that process. When the same men refuse to hire women of childbearing age, it just smacks of hypocrisy.
What amazed me during the three pregnancies of my wife is the amount of support and care the men gave during the entire duration of the pregnancy, with not a word of complaint at the often extra burden's placed on them such as helping to look after the other children during the nights, additional help around the house and a huge commitment into the family during this important time. I'm glad these same men can be counted on knowing that during a hiring process they wouldn't for a moment discriminate against a man or a woman, with such a complete and rounded view on life.
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Old 23.08.2018, 13:55
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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I've sat in on candidate selection meetings where more than one hiring manager has discounted women's CVs because "she's married with no kids yet, too risky."

Don't think they even realised what they were implying.

Not just here in Switzerland but in the UK, too.
yep I've also had a few bosses who totally discount women based on that, because they got burnt badly in the past
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Old 23.08.2018, 13:57
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Re: Pregnancy before starting a new job

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I've sat in on candidate selection meetings where more than one hiring manager has discounted women's CVs because "she's married with no kids yet, too risky."

Don't think they even realised what they were implying.

Not just here in Switzerland but in the UK, too.
I've sat on hiring boards for 20 years and never in my life come across such a statement.

I guess thats just the variation of life.
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