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  #101  
Old 08.01.2020, 14:22
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

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An opinion based on realistic likelihoods. The chances of an 18 year old moving to another country to be with another 18 year old, then being under financial hardship and still being together for a significant period of time is extremely low by any sensible estimation.

If you live in lala land and want to believe otherwise then sure, go ahead.
Oh, he's not 18. Maybe it doesn't make much of a difference but he's 21. I do appreciate your outlook on things and I do respect that you're really firm with the ''no rushing!''. Though I feel like you have no say on how my relationship is going to turn out, several people here have pointed out their opinions on how this is a young relationship and it's most likely going to go to hell. Telling me he's going to get annoyed with me, leave me and his view is going to change are just negative assumptions that frankly don't hold any weight as you have no clue who we are as people.

Frankly it's hurtful- but in all honesty it's the internet so I should just learn to not get comments and quick assumptions like yours in to my head.

Maybe some people spend too much time on r/relationship_advice and end up thinking that all relationships are just recipes for disasters.
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  #102  
Old 08.01.2020, 14:26
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

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An opinion based on realistic likelihoods. The chances of an 18 year old moving to another country to be with another 18 year old, then being under financial hardship and still being together for a significant period of time is extremely low by any sensible estimation.

If you live in lala land and want to believe otherwise then sure, go ahead.
But that’s just it, how do you know if you don’t try?

Life is full of what ifs. She’s young enough to be able make something of her life even if she does give it a try and it doesn’t work out.
Sometimes we just have to take a risk and see where it takes us.
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  #103  
Old 08.01.2020, 14:26
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

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Oh, he's not 18. Maybe it doesn't make much of a difference but he's 21. I do appreciate your outlook on things and I do respect that you're really firm with the ''no rushing!''. Though I feel like you have no say on how my relationship is going to turn out, several people here have pointed out their opinions on how this is a young relationship and it's most likely going to go to hell. Telling me he's going to get annoyed with me, leave me and his view is going to change are just negative assumptions that frankly don't hold any weight as you have no clue who we are as people.

Frankly it's hurtful- but in all honesty it's the internet so I should just learn to not get comments and quick assumptions like yours in to my head.

Maybe some people spend too much time on r/relationship_advice and end up thinking that all relationships are just recipes for disasters.
I doubt it. But they've just been paying their own bills here for a while.
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  #104  
Old 08.01.2020, 14:29
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

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It is the fact that there isn't a place where getting into financial difficulties would be more likely than here, considering the costs here. Anything else is always up for individual situ of people...but that is irrelevant, the OP shouldn't rely on anybody but herself. It seems that people get all romantic about their 1st loves and those random stories of success, but there is enough heartache even on our boards that supports the skeptics. OP's bf can be a wonderful person but him dealing with the most cost as it is, according to the OP's calculations, not sure how long in love he'll stay.
People don't tend to offload a massive post on here if their relationship has all gone with a swing and is hunky-dory, though, do they?

If people are skeptical based on the tales of woe they read on here, then, fine, it's bound to give a disproportionate skew on reality.

As others have said, she's not fleeing Sweden with the clothes she's stood up in to come to Switzerland on some whim and will never be able to return.

If, for some reason, it doesn't work out, she just goes home again. Regretting something is one thing but never trying anything in the first place is no way to live your life.

The melodrama is quite something on here.
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  #105  
Old 08.01.2020, 14:34
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

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But that’s just it, how do you know if you don’t try?

Life is full of what ifs. She’s young enough to be able make something of her life even if she does give it a try and it doesn’t work out.
Sometimes we just have to take a risk and see where it takes us.
Yup, despite the hysteria, the OP's downside is pretty minimal. It's essentially a gap year if it goes wrong.
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  #106  
Old 08.01.2020, 14:58
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

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Oh, he's not 18. Maybe it doesn't make much of a difference but he's 21. I do appreciate your outlook on things and I do respect that you're really firm with the ''no rushing!''. Though I feel like you have no say on how my relationship is going to turn out, several people here have pointed out their opinions on how this is a young relationship and it's most likely going to go to hell. Telling me he's going to get annoyed with me, leave me and his view is going to change are just negative assumptions that frankly don't hold any weight as you have no clue who we are as people.

Frankly it's hurtful- but in all honesty it's the internet so I should just learn to not get comments and quick assumptions like yours in to my head.

Maybe some people spend too much time on r/relationship_advice and end up thinking that all relationships are just recipes for disasters.
Something tells me you are going to be absolutely grand... whatever you decide to do. And I imagine your BF knows exactly how brilliant you are.

On paper, my relationship with my amazing OH shouldn't perhaps work. But it does.
Best of luck. Lots of good advice on here, and support. You just need to become adept at weeding out the BS.
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  #107  
Old 08.01.2020, 16:16
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

I have been with my husband since I was 20, he 21. We have moved to 3 states and 3 countries together...all requiring a big leap of faith. 19 years of love, fun and all the messes too. Friendship, trust and respect are the most important components of a healthy relationship.

I wish you all the best!
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  #108  
Old 08.01.2020, 21:03
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

Beingwithyou,
I find your intelligence and in particular your emotional intelligence really impressive.
Your youthful inexperience won’t stop you, you’ve got a very good mind and potential.
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  #109  
Old 08.01.2020, 21:18
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

I have been with my husband since I was 19 and he 23. I followed him to USA with no degree and no English. It was tough sometimes but also very happy and worked out fine.

This month we will be celebrating 30th anniversary together with our 3 beautiful grown up kids.

Best of luck to both of you girl!
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  #110  
Old 08.01.2020, 21:21
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

I agree, Sky. This is an altogether impressive young woman.

OP, can your boyfriend spend his annual leave, and later his university vacation weeks, in Sweden, with you?
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  #111  
Old 09.01.2020, 00:14
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

I just have to say, it feels so incredibly amazing waking up to tons of support from everyone in here. Thank you for those who shared their stories about moving for their partners and enforcing my motivation to do this. I hope I can resurrect this thread in the coming year or two and update you on how it essentially went.

Thank you for all of the kind words and beliving that I can do this as well. It really warms my heart and waking up to all of these heartwarming comments- you guessed it- is incredibly heartwarming.

I wish all of you the best.
(This is not a goodbye, just wanted to express my thanks. )
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  #112  
Old 09.01.2020, 00:19
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

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I agree, Sky. This is an altogether impressive young woman.

OP, can your boyfriend spend his annual leave, and later his university vacation weeks, in Sweden, with you?
Yep, I plan to come over in 3 month intervals and during that essential 3 month cooldown period I have to spend in Sweden he will come over and visit me during vacation weeks. So it's all good.

Although when he starts university I doubt he'll be able to come over as I'm not financially well off right now (looking for a job but it's hard to find an employer who would be okay with only hiring me for a 3 month contract). Neither is he, he'll be working/studying 50/50 and will have barely enough to live on top of rent. Though I plan on finding a job along side studies so I can earn some money solely for tickets so he can come over during vacations during his study time. It should work out, hard, not seeing each other often. But it will work out.
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  #113  
Old 09.01.2020, 11:58
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

Dear beingwithyou,

You‘re such an incredible girl! I see a bright future ahead of you. As for job searching, it‘s gonna be a bumpy road for you. But please don‘t give up! Whatever happened in future, I wish you all the best! As for Cantonese saying: Add oil!
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  #114  
Old 09.01.2020, 12:43
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Re: Employment with no degree & no german speaking skills.

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I just have to say, it feels so incredibly amazing waking up to tons of support from everyone in here. Thank you for those who shared their stories about moving for their partners and enforcing my motivation to do this. I hope I can resurrect this thread in the coming year or two and update you on how it essentially went.

Thank you for all of the kind words and beliving that I can do this as well. It really warms my heart and waking up to all of these heartwarming comments- you guessed it- is incredibly heartwarming.

I wish all of you the best.
(This is not a goodbye, just wanted to express my thanks. )
No matter what anyone would say love is....love.

Good luck with your plans!
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